


I Hate You, I Love You

by Dreankserts



Category: DARLING In The FRANXX (Anime)
Genre: Abuse, Abusive Relationships, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Arguing, Blackmail, Canonical Character Death, Character Death, Depression, Eating Disorders, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Emotionally Repressed, F/F, F/M, Gay, Hate Sex, Homophobia, Love/Hate, Past Relationship(s), Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Rape, Rape Aftermath, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred, Sexual Abuse, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, Triggers, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-10
Updated: 2019-02-25
Packaged: 2019-07-29 02:53:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 28
Words: 83,700
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16255199
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dreankserts/pseuds/Dreankserts
Summary: Ikuno has always loved Ichigo. From the moment she first saw her, she had loved her with all her heart.Now grown up, Ikuno keeps this secret close to her heart, and hidden from the world. She doesn't know what will happen if anyone finds out. She doesn't know what will happen if Ichigo finds out.But someone has found out. Someone with bad intentions. And they're going to do whatever it takes to try and fix Ikuno's defection. To make her 'normal' again.Basically the same underlying anime plot, but with a different Ichigo/Ikuno arc





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> \- Takes place mid partner swap-
> 
> This is also kind of a vent, there are some things that have happened that I need to get out of my mind, and I find writing easier than any other media.
> 
> !There is triggering content in this writing!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for coming to my first fanfiction heh
> 
> The idea for this stemmed from the thoughts I had regarding how the society in this world would approach homosexual feelings. I know that a lot of people in this setting aren't used to love at all so they might just accept it, but I think it would have been more interesting if they took a more old-timey approach to it...seeing it as something that could be "fixed". I hope you like it ^^
> 
> Any feedback would also be appreciated as I've never done anything like this before!

Ichigo opened her eyes and yawned. It was a bright warm day, and the window was open, allowing shreds of humidity to enter the bedroom. Sitting up, she stretched out her arms and smiled. 

“Good morning.” She turned to face her dark haired roommate. 

“Good morning!” Ichigo leaped out of bed and turned to settle her bedclothes. “How are you?”

“Okay.” Ikuno replied shortly. She pulled her shoulder length hair back into her usual ponytail and clipped it up. Ichigo smiled again. Ikuno was a girl of few words. Her short replies were normal, but welcome. She turned and playfully leaped at Ikuno, wrapping her arms around her waist. Ikuno squealed and blushed. 

“Come on, Ikuno! Lighten up!” 

“I-Ichigo!! Get off me!!!” Ikuno cried, flustered. She pushed Ichigo off of her and looked away, blushing furiously. Ikuno dusted down her uniform and gripped the hem of her dress tightly, like she always did when she was nervous. Ichigo fell back and sat on her bed. 

“What’s up?” She asked lightly, rocking backwards. Ikuno shook her head.  

“N-nothing!” She cried. And then- “You look lovely today, Ichigo.” Ichigo scoffed. 

“Kuno, I literally just got out of bed! I still have bedhair!” She cried in mock horror, smoothing down her messed bob. Ikuno shrugged. 

“You still look lovely.” She said in a low voice. Ichigo blushed slightly. 

“I-Ikuno! Stop messing with me! Go on to breakfast! Futoshi will probably be waiting for you!” Ikuno nodded sadly. 

“Right...messing with you…” She slowly turned and left Ichigo to change, shutting the door softly behind her. As soon as the door clicked shut, Ikuno felt her stomach sink. How hard was it for her to accept that these feelings she had would never manifest into anything more than heartbreak?  She sighed deeply, pushing back tears. For the past few days she bad tried complimenting Ichigo like she had seen Goro do. Her looks, her laugh, her smile. None of it worked. When Goro told her, she was all laughs and retorts. When  _ she  _ told her…

_ “Stop messing with me…” _  
  


...Ikuno knew it didn’t take a genius to figure it out.  

 

 

Futoshi waved at her as she entered the mess hall. Ikuno nodded at him politely and took her seat next to Kokoro. At her arrival, Kokoro went silent and stared down at her hands. It had been awkward between them since the day of the partner swap that previous week. Kokoro felt bad for leaving Ikuno with Futoshi, but she had also managed to pilot effortlessly with Mitsuru; something Ikuno had failed to do. Despite their forced partnership, Ikuno and Futoshi were more than civil towards each other. The only downside was that whenever they went to train or pilot, Futoshi often descended into sobs or hysteria. Ikuno shrugged. It was the way things were. She couldn't change that. She put her hand on Kokoro’s shoulder. Kokoro started and looked over at her, flustered. 

“I-Ikuno!”

“Hey Kokoro.” Kokoro blushed.

“C-Can I help you?” She avoided eye contact with Ikuno, staring at the floor. Ikuno sighed.

“Look, I’m not mad.” Kokoro looked up slowly.

“Y-you're n-not?” Ikuno shook her head. “Oh!” Kokoro cried in relief. “That’s good! I mean-“

“So, yeah. Don’t worry about it. It’s for the best.” Ikuno said matter of factly, before turning back to her breakfast. Kokoro relaxed and smiled nervously.

“Ikuno, I-“

“Hi Ikuno.” Ikuno jumped, choking on her toast, and coughed, sending crumbs scattering. Kokoro shrieked and patted her hard on the back several times. Ikuno gasped as the stray piece of toast unlodged itself from her throat, and she massaged her neck, looking up at the figure who had approached her.

“M-Mitsuru??”

“Hi.” He said stoically. She nodded at him.

“W-what’s up?” He shrugged.

“Just wanted to check how you were doing.” Ikuno frowned and raised one eyebrow.

“Okay…” She replied cautiously. Mitsuru had never expressed an interest in her before. He nodded.

“That’s good. I’ll see you at briefing?” Ikuno blinked. Mitsuru  _ wanted _ to see her? All her recollections of being his partner involved some form of dispute or disagreement. Mitsuru did a strange thing. He blushed slightly, the tip of his nose fading light pink. Ikuno nodded.

“Sure.”

“O-okay.” He shook his head, regaining his emotionless facade, and stalked back to his seat. Ikuno glanced at Kokoro, and Kokoro glanced back, worry etched into their faces.

“What was that?” Miku asked loudly, leaning over the table.

“I-I don’t know.” Ikuno admitted shakily. It was nice that Mitsuru was speaking to her, but him being nice just felt...odd. She shook it off. What kind of person would she be if she didn’t accept it when someone was trying to be nice to her? Ichigo entered the mess hall, changed into her uniform, but still sporting an unattractive crop of bed hair. She sat down next to Miku, who clapped her hands over her mouth in an attempt to stifle her giggles.

“What?” Ichigo asked innocently. Miku snorted.

“N-n-nothing!!” She managed to gasp out. Ichigo looked at Ikuno and Kokoro with panic engraved into her face and eyes.

“What?!” She cried in panic. Her hands flew to her face. “Is there something wrong with me?!” Kokoro looked away and giggled softly. Ikuno scowled at her and Miku. It wasn’t fair that they should treat Ichigo like this. She shook her head.

“No. You’re okay. It’s just…” She gestured to her own hair. Ichigo’s hands trembled as she felt her messy hair, and her face paled. 

“Oh!” 

“Ichigo, its okay.” Ikuno said gently. “Just go and brush it again.” Ichigo flushed a deep pink and nodded, running back out the room. 

“Aw, come on Ikuno!” Miku groaned. “Why can’t you have a little laugh for once?” Ikuno shrugged. 

“Not at someone’s expense.” She said slowly. “It’s not nice.” 

“Oo-er.” Miku jeered. “If it’s at someone's expense, surely that’s the best type of humour?? I laugh at Zorome all the time!!” Ikuno shrugged again. At this, Zorome stood up sharply. 

“Hey!” He started towards Miku but tripped over the leg of his chair and into Goro’s lap. Goro cried out and stood up quickly, sending his banana skin flying into Futoshi’s food. Futoshi yelled out in surprise and fell over backwards, crashing to the floor. Miku and Kokoro howled with laughter. Hiro and Zero Two laughed together, Zero Two on his lap. Mitsuru raised his eyebrows. Ikuno looked away and covered her mouth with her hand, stifling her laughter. Miku stopped abruptly at the sight of this. 

“I thought laughter at someone’s expense was mean?” She pried slyly. Ikuno blushed and her smile fell away. 

“I-it is.” 

“ _ Everyone’s _ expense?? Or  _ Ichigo’s  _ expense??” Miku smirked. Ikuno tensed up and blushed harder. 

“I-I don’t know what you mean.” 

“Sure you do! Come on, you always look out for Ichigo. Do you  _ loooooove  _ her?” Miku asked smugly, wiggling her eyebrows. Ikuno felt her body break out in a cold sweat. 

“N-No!!” She cried, shaking her head frantically. On the other side of the room, Mitsuru’s head snapped around to face them, his face set in a deep scowl. Miku roared with laughter, and Ikuno covered her face with her hands.

“Ikuno!!” She gasped out. “You’re always so...so serious!!” She wiped her eyes. Ikuno relaxed and breathed a sigh of relief. Her secret was safe. For now. “A pistil can’t love a pistil!” Miku continued. “It’s not natural. It’s not normal. If you did, surely you’d be defective. And we aren’t defective!” She cried defiantly. “We’re special!! Unique!” She raised a banana in the air. 

“Thanks.” Ichigo said lightly, snatching it from her grasp. Miku scowled and whipped around. 

“Do you mind???” She snapped angrily. Ichigo shrugged and sat down, peeling the banana using her thumb and forefinger. 

“Not particularly. Besides, loving another pistil isn’t that bad. It’s all part of learning and life. To have these feelings.” She winked at Ikuno, who squeaked and blushed deeply. “Okay, okay.” Ichigo laughed softly. “I won’t throw false accusations anymore. Look how red you are!” Ikuno picked up a glass of water and began to down it, gulping heavily. Ichigo had misinterpreted her feelings of love and affection for feelings of shame. And she could live with that. For now. She just had to shrug it off. Wiping her mouth, she shrugged. 

“Doesn’t matter to me.” She said, putting on the most indifferent voice she could muster. “I love stamens, just like any other girl.” 

“Forget all this talk of ‘love’!”  A voice called cheerfully. “Let’s get down to business!” Nana entered the mess hall, a large smile on her face. The children buzzed excitedly. Nana checked her clipboard and sighed. “So, we have two Gutenberg class on our radar. One is about 500 miles out, so we don’t need to worry about that. For now.” Zorome groaned.  “The other is much closer, only about 140 miles. That will need dealing with effective immediately.” Ikuno raised her hand slowly. Nana blinked at her and nodded. “Y-yes Ikuno?” 

“About our partners. Are we-“ 

“Mitsuru and Kokoro are still a pair in the Genista. As are you and Futoshi. We are waiting for a confirmation from Papa to make it official, but it looks good to go. Any questions?” She asked, addressing the whole group. After a pause, Mitsuru raised his hand. “Yes?” 

“Until that confirmation is implemented…” He shot a look at Ikuno. “...Are we allowed to switch back at any time?” Nana started a little in surprise. Ikuno raised her eyebrows and Kokoro cocked her head.  

“Switch back??” Nana laughed uncertainly. “Why would you want to-“

“Just a question out of curiosity. I’m not in any way implying that our new situations are temporary, nor am I implying they are permanent. I was just curious.” Nana nodded. 

“Well, if things take a turn for the worse, reverting back to the squad’s default setup will be our first option.” Mitsuru crossed his arms and nodded. Ikuno glanced at him, the feeling of uneasiness not leaving her stomach.   
  


 

“Okay, synchronise in three, two...one…” 

Ikuno grimaced and Futoshi blushed furiously. 

“You good?” He asked after a pause. Ikuno gasped and nodded. 

“S-sure. Yeah. It’s good.” She panted. 

“You sure?” 

“Mmmhm.” Ikuno forced a smile. “Fine.” She shuddered. 

“I’m sorry.” Futoshi said suddenly. Ikuno raised her head in surprise. 

“For what?” 

“For not being Mitsuru. I get it. Not everyone wants to connect with...me..” He looked away, tears pooling in his eyes. “Even my own partner left me. I thou-I -I…” He welled up, wiping his eyes. “I thought we’d be together forever…She promised…” 

“She promised?” Ikuno asked sharply, tilting her head. The franxx cockpit mirrored her movements.  Futoshi nodded. “That’s…

“It’s over now...but...I-it still hurts…” He sniffed. Ikuno stopped the franxx and sat up. The world around them faded to black. Ikuno turned to Futoshi. He was staring at her, wide eyed. “Ikuno-“

“Look. Any pistil would be lucky to have you as their partner. And if Kokoro can’t see that, then-“ She stopped and looked away. “Yeah.” She concluded sharply. Futoshi slipped off of his seat and approached her. Ikuno shrank back slightly but let him get close to her. He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close to him. Ikuno tensed up, but relaxed after she felt his body shaking with sobs. Hesitantly, she put her arms around him too. “Hey. It’s okay.” Futoshi nodded and stifled his sobs. 

“Y-yeah…” He coughed. “I-I-It’s okay.” Ikuno held him tighter. 

“Even if it doesn’t seem like it now.” She patted him on the head. “It will be.” He nodded again.   
  


 

“Want to try again?” Ikuno asked gently. Futoshi sniffed and cleared his throat, wiping his eyes. 

“Mhm.” The two pilots assumed their positions and winced as they connected. The cockpit around them lit up with visions of the outside world, and their radio burst into life.

“IKUNO???” Ichigo, crying.

“F-FUTOSHI!!!!” Kokoro, panicking. 

“COME IN!!!!” Nana, frantic. 

“I-Ichigo??!!” Ikuno cried in alarm. “What happened??” 

“IKUNO!” Ichigo sobbed.  “YOU-YOU’RE OKAY!” Ikuno shrugged, Chlorophytum mirroring this. 

“Sure.”

“NO! No it’s NOT!” Ichigo wailed. Ikuno raised one eyebrow. 

“Sure it is.” 

“NO! Ichigo yelled, Delphinium slamming its fists to its head. 

“ICHIGO! STOP!” Ikuno screamed in panic. “ITS OKAY!” Delphinium trembled, then was still. 

“Never do that again.” Ichigo said quietly. Ikuno nodded knowingly, causing Chlorophytum to nod also. 

“I promise.” 

“Is everything okay?” Nana asked sternly. Ikuno nodded. 

“We’re fine.” Futoshi nodded too. 

“What she said.” He said sadly, sniffing. 

“Okay, well get back into the game please. You have work to do.” Nana shut off her communication and Ikuno grimaced. 

“Ready?” Futoshi asked her. Ikuno nodded, a dull feeling forming in her stomach. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you like it 
> 
>  
> 
> sorry its long i didn't know where to cut it oops

“How are you feeling Ikuno?” Futoshi asked nervously. “You haven’t said a word all mission.Is it something I said?” Ikuno shook her head, her lips pressed tightly together. Futoshi extended his hand, and she took it, allowing him to help her out of the FRANXX. “You don’t look so hot.” He said in alarm. “Do you want me to get Nana?” Ikuno shook her head again. 

“I just feel a little sick.” She said faintly. Futoshi put his arm around her shoulders as her legs gave way. 

“You’re not okay! Let me-“

“No. I’m fine.” She said as sternly as she could muster. The dull feeling had spread to her entire body, making it feel numb and heavy. Her head was fuzzy, and her mouth seemed permanently dry. Swallowing hard, she felt a bead of sweat run down the side of her face. She glanced at Futoshi, who was holding her up, concern etched into his face. She shook her head. “Fine.” She caved weakly. Futoshi nodded and grunted, pulling her towards the briefing room.  

 

“IKUNO!” Ichigo shrieked as the two pilots exited their boarding area, standing up and causing Goro to jump in alarm. 

“Sh-she’s okay!” Futoshi said quickly. “She just-“

“She’s NOT okay!!” Ichigo yelled back, her face drained of colour. “Look at her Futoshi!!!” Futoshi glanced down and paled also. Ikuno was panting, her face dripping with sweat. Her legs were trembling, and occasionally she gagged, as though she was about to vomit. Her eyes were squeezed shut, but Ichigo could see tears slowly falling down her friend’s face. Ichigo felt a pang somewhere behind her navel, that pulled on every part of her body, causing her to shake. She watched her purple haired friend swing her other arm around Futoshi desperately as her legs gave way completely, and she fell to her knees, and then to the floor, her grip on him failing. She lay on her side, gripping her stomach tightly, her body trembling. Ichigo ran to her side and shielded her body protectively. “Ikuno!” Goro sprang up and ran for the briefing room. 

“I’ll get Nana!” 

“Ikuno!” Futoshi cried, kneeling down and lifting her head gently onto his knees, elevating it. “It’s okay...It’s okay Ikuno...Goro’s getting you help…” She groaned and curled up around her stomach. Ichigo gently unclipped her hood and pulled it away from her suit. She placed her hand on Ikuno’s torso, her burning skin penetrating the suit and heating up Ichigo’s hand. 

“She has a fever.” Ichigo observed shakily, stroking Ikuno gently from her shoulder to her waist. Ikuno sobbed and one sweaty hand reached out for her friend’s. Ichigo grabbed it instantly, ignoring the clammy palm, and the slippery texture. She pressed it to her lips. “It’s okay Ikuno.” 

“Ichigo…” Her friend murmured, her eyes fluttering between open and shut. “It hurts…” Her freckles seemed to have faded, and her face overall seemed sunken. Ichigo felt the pulling feeling inside of her manifest into uncontrollable anxiety. Ikuno looked ill. Very ill. She knew her friend had a weaker immune system than the rest of the Parasites. It was one of the major reasons Mitsuru had been paired up with her. His weakened immune system mixed with hers was the only stable and suitable match to make. For both of them. For their safety. Piloting with Futoshi put a strain on her she could not shake. Of course, it was not the boy’s fault, as he perceived it to be. He was merely too strong for her, and although they could synchronise well enough, in the long term, their new partnership may have a devastating effect on Ikuno’s health. Ichigo was already starting to see the signs. Ikuno regularly got the “Child Fever” as it was known, despite the normal occurrence of this illness in parasites being a one off occassion. More than once that month Ichigo had been lying in her bedroom alone, Ikuno several miles away in the infirmary, all the while her heart beating with concern and worry for her friend, hoping that this would not be the time that Ikuno’s frail immune system would fail her. She ran her hand through Ikuno’s hair. The usual soft, silky texture was now dry and wispy.  Ichigo withdrew her hand sharply, unwilling to take in any more of the girl’s battered, deteriorating body. Futoshi was mumbling to her, one hand supporting her head, the other wiping her tears. Ikuno was wheezing, gasping for air desperately. Her breath left her body with a strange rattling sound, and the depth of each breath became more shallow. In between each breath, she let out a whimper of pain and coughed. 

“Ikuno?? IKUNO!!” Ichigo cried in panic as Ikuno’s breaths started to slow down. “FUTOSHI!” She turned to the boy. “I...I think Ikuno’s dying!!” She burst into tears, panic overtaking her whole body. Futoshi shook his head, the last of his calmness seeping out of his body, being replaced with anxiety.

“No...No Ichigo...Calm down...it’s okay...don’t say that!” The clattering of footsteps echoed around the room and Nana appeared next to the two children, her face flushed, and accompanied by two Adults. She knelt down and put two fingers to Ikuno’s neck. She paused, and picked up Ikuno’s wrist and held the same two fingers to the vein. She turned to the Adults and nodded. They instantly pushed Ichigo and Futoshi out of the way, picking up Ikuno’s body gently and lifting it onto a stretcher. Ikuno moaned in pain as they lifted her, her body twitching. She cried out and sobbed, her hand slipping from Ichigo’s. 

“No!” Ichigo yelled, springing to her feet. Futoshi grabbed ahold of her arms and held her back as the Adults carried Ikuno away, Nana in close pursuit. “FUTOSHI!” She cried angrily, kicking against him. “Let me go! NO!” She pushed against him with all her strength. She wouldn’t let them take Ikuno away, she wouldn’t let them separate them, not now that her immune system was failing. It was failing. Ichigo was sure of it. She was going to lose her friend, her roommate, part of her family. Not like this. They were supposed to become Adults together. Ikuno had once said she would get Ichigo all the cats she could ever want. Ichigo had laughed and retorted with the promise that she’d get Ikuno all the books she’d ever want. This couldn’t happen if Ikuno left her now. They were supposed to grow up together… 

“Ichigo, let’s go.” Futoshi gently released her. Ichigo burst from his grip and raced towards the briefing room, her heart pounding against her ribcage like a drum. She pulled back the door, expecting to see the Adults and Ikuno, but only the bewildered faces of her squadmates were waiting for her.    
  


 

Mitsuru tapped his fingers impatiently on the floor. He tried to push down the rising anxiety in his stomach. Failing, he stood up and smoothed back his hair for the umpteenth time, the olive colored strands sticking to his head. 

“Mitsuru?” An anxious voice cut through his thoughts, and he glanced at the source sharply. “Are you okay?” Kokoro continued, her hands clasped in worry at her chest. He scowled and her and huffed. She withdrew, her face flushing with shame. The Parasites had been instructed to stay within the confines of the house, while they figured out what was wrong with Ikuno. Although Ichigo had tried exercising her authority as squad leader to try and get a status report from Nana, all she had been told was that it was  _ not  _ the Child Fever, and they were considering resorting to ancient medicine explanations to try and locate the source of her ailment. This had of course worried Ichigo terribly, but Nana had refused to disclose anything more. The blue haired parasite now sat, her hands folded in her lap, kicking the floor impatiently. Her bespectacled companion rubbed his forehead and bit his lip, struggling to find words of comfort and support. 

“Any news on Ikuno?” Ichigo looked up sharply, her hair flowing around her face. Mitsuru glared down at her, stony-faced, his arms crossed. She shook her head. 

“No.” He shrugged in response. 

“Okay. Let me know when you know anything else.” He stalked out of the room, his heels clacking on the wooden floor, the echoes burying themselves into Ichigos’ mind. She stared after him. He had never taken an interest in Ikuno. He had always turned his nose up at her whenever she walked in the room, or turned his back on her whenever they were put together. More than once Ichigo had laid in her bed facing the wall, her duvet pulled up to her chin, biting her lip to stifle her tears as she heard her roomate softly sobbing to herself. She was aware of how insecure Ikuno had become because of her partner’s neglect. So for him to suddenly care so much about her....created a fury within her. He only cared about her wellbeing  _ now _ ...when her life was at stake??? She sprang to her feet, and chased after the boy, her blood starting to boil.    
  


 

“Hey!” She snapped, rapping on the wood of Mitsuru’s door. He opened it almost instantly, and she cried out in alarm, stopping her fist centimetres from his face. 

“What.”

“Why do you suddenly care so much about Ikuno?” His eyes narrowed, and he smirked slightly. 

“Why does that concern  _ you _ ?” Ichigo scowled. 

“Look, I don’t think you noticed, but Ikuno was really miserable with you! She hated every second! And now she puts up with piloting with Futoshi, even if it kills her, because she knows it will be better than doing _anything_ with you!” Ichigo cried angrily, the words flowing thick and fast, unable to stop herself. She jabbed him in the chest with her index finger. “And she will never.. _.ever_ tell Nana how much this is hurting her, because she doesn’t want to bother anyone! Unlike _you!_ ” She increased the volume of her voice, tears forming in her eyes. “You _never_ stopped telling Ikuno how much she was a burden to you! You _never_ stopped to think about how much your words hurt her!” She stamped her foot and shook her head, tears streaming down her cheeks, their salty sensation filling her mouth. “AND NOW SHE’S GOING TO DIE!” Ichigo screamed, her patience running dry. “SHE’S GOING TO DIE! AND SHE NEVER EVEN GOT TO FEEL LIKE ANYONE EVER CARED FOR HER! SO DON’T YOU _EVER_ TELL ME THAT YOU’RE EVEN THE _SLIGHTEST_ BIT WORRIED ABOUT HER!” Mitsuru did not flinch, his body frozen in the same disapproving stance. 

“What about you?” He asked shortly. Ichigo froze, her fists slammed to her temples, and her eyes snapped open. 

“About me?” 

“Didn’t  _ you _ make her feel like she was cared for? Why should it be just  _ me _ ?!” He snapped, his eyes glinting angrily. Ichigo paused and huffed. 

“I-I’m not her partner! Anything I  _ can _ do for her is strictly as a friend! As a squadmate!” Mitsuru shut his eyes slowly, a dull idea forming in his mind. He leant back slightly, so much so that Ichigo feared he might fall, but he remained standing, his mind racing. 

“Yes...as...a friend…” He repeated slowly. Ichigo shrank back. There was something about the way Mitsuru was regarding this statement that was making her feel uncomfortable. After a moment, his face cleared, and he smoothed his hair back again. “I don’t know why you feel like this,” He began, ignoring the shorter girl’s cry of frustration, “But I want to do my utmost to make sure Ikuno is healthy and happy. It’s no longer my  _ responsibility _ , and maybe that’s why it has captured my interest. Whatever the reason, I am sure that I am entitled to my own feelings and opinions. Even you, the squad leader, can’t change that.”  Without waiting for her response, he slammed the door shut between them, the heavy clunk echoing down the corridor. Ichigo was seething. Mitsuru saw Ikuno as nothing more than a plaything. Something that would “capture his interest”. She roared and kicked his door with brute force, the heavy leather sole of her shoe leaving a dent in the woodwork.

 

Mitsuru however was more fazed by this than he had let on, trying to block out the leader’s angry yelling from on one side of the door, he frantically searched for the notebook he kept stashed within the confines of his pillowcase. Locating the leatherbound book, he flipped to one of most recently filled pages, and skimmed the words. 

_ Today, October 12th, I tried to talk to Ikuno again. I think that despite our differences and indifferent past, we should now learn to communicate and trust one another. For the sake of the team of course.  _

He shook his head and grunted in frustration. He turned the page again, to where another sheet of paper was filled, the writing messy and scrawled. 

_ Something weird is happening. I do not feel the connection with Kokoro that I anticipated. And what’s even weirder is that at one point, to stay connected with her, I had to pretend she was Ikuno! Imagine that. I can’t believe I’m going backwards! Back to her. After everything we’d done to each other. It’s like I’m in...love with her! I can’t get her out of my mind. When I see her, I feel weird inside...why?? _

He wrinkled up his nose. The next page was blank. He raised a shaking hand, and began to write. 

_ October 17th. Ikuno is still in the hospital. Once they find out what’s wrong with her, getting her fixed shouldn't be that hard. But I have found myself in a predicament. Following Miku’s comment on a Pistil loving a Pistil, I have found myself thinking more and more of this idea as a real, threatening possibility. If this is indeed the case for Ikuno, as I fear it might be, the consequences would be immense and catastrophic. I seem to be the only one around here who takes this idea seriously! Everyone else just overlooks it as something that cannot exist. I’m telling them, it CAN exist...and it’s IKUNO. If I can just-  _

 

He stopped. Ichigo’s yelling had also ceased, leaving him in a uncomfortable silence. Despite Nana’s advice to write things down so as to avoid emotional strain on his body, he still felt pangs of anxiety when it came to this topic. Could there possibly be a real chance that Ikuno was....like that? Should he tell Nana? Should he keep his suspicions a secret? He clapped the book shut and replaced it within the pillowcase. He leant forward and put his head in his hands. Sighing deeply, he dug his nails into his temples. He could tell Nana...just as a suspicion. What harm could it do? He thought of how frail Ikuno was. Ichigo was right...in a sense. He had been a little harsh on her. But- 

He sat up sharply.

Someone had to tell Ikuno the truth as it was. Nobody could keep pretending that everything was ok. Telling her she was a great partner when they both ended every mission covered in sweat and shaking with exhaustion would have been unfair on both of them. Giving her false confidence was the last thing that she needed.  

But to think of her in love with another girl…

 

“Mitsuru!!” Kokoro cried anxiously outside his room, interrupting his thoughts. He stood up sharply, growling with irritation. Pulling open the door, he glared down at the blonde parasite, and she flinched, her pale cheeks filling with colour. 

“What.” He spat. She fumbled with her hands nervously, her thin fingers slipping over each other. 

“U-uh...Nana is calling us!! You better come quickly!”    
  
  


Nana sighed and ran her hands through her red hair, wincing slightly as her fingers got trapped at various intervals due to tangles. Eventually, with successive repeating of this action, she effortlessly ran her fingers through the thick locks, her eyes shifting between the parasites nervously. The sound of footsteps on the stairs indicated the final two children were joining them, and she took a deep resigned breath, preparing herself for the news she had been assigned to break to them. Mitsuru took a seat on the sofa furthest away from the group, his arms crossed, and his face in his signature scowl. Kokoro politely took a seat next to Miku, her face flushed pink. 

“Nana?” The anxious voice of the leader cut into the Adult’s thoughts. She shook her head in astonishment. 

“Y-yes?” 

“What were you going to tell us?” The smallest member of the team looked up at her nervously, her eyes filled with concern and anxiety. Nana bit her lip in an attempt to stifle her tears. She’d much rather have brought good news to the squad, rather than this news that she herself didn’t fully understand. She was merely riding on the coat tails of Dr Franxx, and even then he was grabbing at straws. 

“As I’m sure you’re all aware by now...Ikuno is very sick.” Ichigo nodded earnestly, hungry for more information. The rest of the squad merely glanced at Nana in confirmation of this fact. “And...we think we have figured out what is wrong with her.” Ichigo’s face lit up, her features flooding with relief. Nana felt her stomach sink. “She is currently in surgery.” Ichigo’s smile wavered. “And...The truth of the matter is, if this is not successful, Ikuno will die.” The smile slipped from Ichigo’s face, her lip trembling. “I’m sorry, Ichigo.” Ichigo leaned forward, staring into space. Her insides seemed to be twisting themselves into an impenetrable knot. The world around her seemed to fade away into background noise. She heard Goro, muffled, but yelling. She heard Kokoro crying. She heard...she heard Mitsuru shouting angrily. Her own breathing seemed amplified in her ears, and she felt the rapid throb of her heartbeat in her neck. Ikuno couldn’t die. She couldn’t...not like this...they were supposed to become Adults together… She stood up and swayed slightly. 

“Ichigo?” Goro was at her side in an instant. “Are you okay?” 

“I...don’t feel very good…” She mumbled, before her legs crumpled, and she fell into darkness. 


	3. Chapter 3

Despite the morbid news that Nana had brought to the squad, within three, painfully long days, she was returning with much more light hearted news. The squad had been ecstatic to hear that the operation had been a success, and that Ikuno had finally woken up that morning.

“But you cannot all visit her.” Nana had said sternly. “Only two of you are allowed at this time.” Of course, Ichigo had jumped at the chance to see her friend again. And the squad was shocked when Mitsuru raised his hand to fill the final spot. Futoshi glared at him distastefully, Mitsuru’s apparent habit of stealing his partners from him surfacing once again. All the way down to the infirmary, Ichigo had fidgeted nervously, her hands wringing each other. Mitsuru had remained decidedly more cool, tapping his foot impatiently.

 

They now sat, side by side, outside Ikuno’s room, waiting for their clearance. Ichigo had insisted she go in first. Mitsuru had merely shrugged at the remark and accepted it with an air of indifference. This had of course resurfaced the feeling of anger inside of Ichigo, however she pushed it down, the excitement of seeing her friend claiming her body’s focus.

“Ichigo.” Nana said gently, her voice cutting through Ichigo’s thoughts, and the heavy silence around them. Ichigo sprang to her feet and carefully peeked around the edge of Ikuno’s doorway. The lights were off, the only light source being the orange glow from the monitors beside her bed, and the luminescence from the city outside the large window. Ikuno was lying on her back, her head propped up by several pillows, her eyes shut. Ichigo felt tears well up in her eyes again. It hurt her to see her friend in such a situation. She felt the pain deep within her chest. She took a few shaky steps into the room, and carefully sat down on the chair beside her bed. She glanced down at Ikuno’s hand. Her pale skin contrasted against the blue sheets of the bed, and she had various tubes hooked into the back of it. The sight in itself was enough to make the squeamish parasite wince, but she slid her hand into her friend’s nonetheless, starting at the cold sensation. The only sound in the room was the occasional beep of the monitors, and the girls’ own breathing; Ichigo’s rapid, Ikuno’s long and deep.

After a while, Ikuno’s face twitched, and she moaned softly in her sleep.

“Ikuno?” Ichigo asked anxiously. Ikuno turned her head to face the source of Ichigo’s voice, and her eyes slowly blinked open. Ichigo’s face cracked into a large smile. “Hey Kuno…” She whispered hoarsely, squeezing her hand gently. Ikuno smiled weakly in return, bringing her other hand over to rest on her friend’s.

“Ichigo?” Ichigo sniffed and nodded.

“How are you feeling?” Ikuno’s face twisted into discomfort, and she shifted her position on the bed slightly.

“Better.” She paused. “The pain is gone.” She tried to sit up, and Ichigo helped her rearrange the placement of her pillows, so she could rest against them comfortably. Ikuno breathed a sigh of relief. “Thank you.” Ichigo nodded.

“What happened to you?” Ikuno shrugged weakly.

“I’m not sure myself. The doctor called it…” She trailed off and scowled as she struggled to remember the name of her condition. “App-apen...appendicis??” Ichigo frowned and cocked her head.

“Appendicis?” Ikuno shook her head.

“That’s not it. I can’t remember the full name-“

“Appendicitis.” Nana said helpfully, entering the room. Ikuno nodded, the attention of the two girls shifting to their guardian. “It’s an old and rare condition.” Nana continued. “Past records indicated that people used to get it much more commonly than they do now.”

“W-what is it exactly?” Ichigo asked, holding onto Ikuno’s hand tighter.

Consulting her clipboard, Nana flicked a few pages over before resting her eyes on one particular page. “Appendicitis is a medical emergency that requires prompt surgery to remove the appendix. Left untreated, an inflamed appendix will eventually burst, spilling infectious materials into the abdominal cavity. If still untreated, this can lead to eventual death.” She read effortlessly, quoting the page word for word. At the mention of death, Ikuno paled considerably, and tightened her grip on Ichigo’s hand. Ichigo, the most squeamish parasite, shut her eyes tightly to try and block out the thought of infectious acid spilling into her stomach.

“But...it’s okay now, right?” She asked once she had opened her eyes again. Nana nodded.

“We’re lucky Dr Franxx had such an extensive knowledge of old diseases. He was able to conduct the surgery instantly, and in the nick of time too.” Nana smiled encouragingly.

“Y-you mean...the surgery has already been done!?” Ikuno squeaked out. Nana nodded.

“You were very weak Ikuno. We had to administer quite a lot of anaesthesia to ensure we could get through the procedure without causing any further harm to you.” Ikuno flung back the bedsheets and pulled up her hospital gown to expose a dark red line that ran from the right side of her torso to the middle, just below her navel. She trembled. Ichigo gently took ahold of her gown and pulled it back down, averting her eyes, biting back tears, and gagging slightly.

“It’s okay, Ikuno. It’s okay. It’s over now. You’re going to be okay.” Ikuno sobbed and Ichigo pulled her into a tight hug. “Its okay…” Ikuno winced and Ichigo released her, blushing slightly. Nana walked over and gently pulled Ikuno’s gown back up. She ran her fingertips lightly along the wound, inspecting it for any abnormalities. She righted the gown again and gently patted Ikuno on the head.

“You’re okay now. We removed the appendix, which you can easily survive without, and you should be back on your feet again within three days.”

“So fast?” Ichigo asked skeptically. The last thing she wanted was for them to send Ikuno back to the FRANXX when she could barely cope with it.

“Sure. Medical treatment will ensure she is back to normal, if not better.” Ichigo pulled Ikuno’s head into her chest and hugged her tightly. Ikuno wrapped her arms around her friend, her heart thumping in her chest against her ribcage. She inhaled, taking in Ichigo’s scent, a smell of strawberry shampoo and cinnamon. Then Ichigo drew away, and Ikuno’s heart sank.

“Okay.” She patted Ikuno on the shoulder. “I’ll see you as soon as I can, okay?”

“Y-you’re leaving?” Ikuno squeaked. She didn’t want Ichigo to go. Seeing her blue haired friend was the only thing that had made feel even remotely okay since this whole ordeal had started. Ichigo nodded.

“Mitsuru is here to see you too.” Ikuno froze.

“He is?”

“Yeah. I think I’ve kept him waiting long enough.” She joked weakly. She drew towards the door, releasing Ikuno’s outstretched hand. “See you later.”

“Bye.” Ikuno said quietly, her heart aching inside her. Nana brushed back Ikuno’s hair and felt her forehead.

“You’re a little feverish. Do you want me to send Mitsuru away?” Ikuno shook her head.

“I want to see him.” Nana raised one eyebrow.

“Okay then…” She headed to the door and stood in the corridor. “Mitsuru.” She stood to the side and let the boy enter the room, his eyes narrowed. Ikuno straightened up and cleared her throat. The boy took the seat that Ichigo had been inhabiting a few moments before, and he nervously adjusted his sleeves. Ikuno fiddled with the bedsheets. For a long while, neither of them said a word.

 

“So.” Ikuno began, searching for a point of conversation. “Uh…” Mitsuru glanced behind him. Nana was no longer visible in the doorway.

“Ikuno, we need to talk.” The girl nodded hesitantly, obliging.

“About?”

“Do you love Futoshi?” Ikuno froze. After a moment, she shook her head.  

“No.” Mitsuru looked away, his face twisted in a mixture of different emotions. “Why? Do you love Kokoro?” He glared at her. She remained calm, her face unchanging. “You don’t. Do you?” He scowled.

“Leave off.”

“Because if you don’t, what makes her any different to me?” Ikuno asked sadly, her stomach dropping like a stone in water. The boy snapped his head up to face her, his cheeks darkening.

“We…” He spat.  “...Are _not_ compatible!” Ikuno shrank back slightly, but adjusted her position on the bed and sighed.

“You keep saying that.” She sighed wistfully. “But who’s fault was it?” He opened his mouth instantly in protest. “Really.” She added, raising one eyebrow. He shut his mouth and glared at her disapprovingly.

“I liked you better when you were unconscious.” Ikuno looked up sharply, evidently hurt by the boy’s sudden snide outburst.

“Right back at you.” She said quietly. Mitsuru lowered his head into his hands.

“Why do we always do this?” He asked slowly. She shook her head, wincing and tensing up, before lowering herself back into a more slouched position.

“I don’t know. Maybe we aren’t compatible at all.” Mitsuru looked out of the window at the city and sighed.

“Maybe so.” She sighed too, the atmosphere suddenly unbearably heavy.

“Why did you ask about Futoshi?” She asked slowly after a time, careful not to provoke her ex partner any more. Mitsuru merely shrugged.

“Curiosity. I wanted to see if you were as happy as I am with this arrangement.” The girl suppressed a laugh, her purple hair dancing around her shoulders as her breathing hitched.

“If by that you mean, not very, then we have an agreement.” She said, with a hint of crudeness. Mitsuru looked away.

“What will it take for you to be happy?”

 _Ichigo as my partner_. Ikuno clapped her hand over her mouth, stifling the truthful whisper that was about to escape her lips. Mitsuru frowned at her, and she quickly changed her movements to that of wiping her lips and tucking hair behind her ear. She laughed again.

“Nothing you could do for me.” She said, picking her words carefully. Mitsuru rolled his eyes.

“So you want a different partner to Futoshi.” Ikuno felt herself start to sweat.

“Why is this so important to you?”

“I-it’s not!” The boy cried, blushing slightly. He stood up sharply. “I don’t need to answer to _you!”_ He snapped. “You're just pathetic!” He continued, the words flowing thick and fast. “Pathetic!! You can’t go one day without disrupting our squad with _something_ ! A fever, an illness, an inability to pilot!! I wish you’d just be _NORMAL_!” He cried angrily, looming over her. “Why can’t you stop being such an INCONVENIENCE-“

“STOP!!!” Ikuno shrieked, her face wet with tears, her body shaking with sobs. “JUST SHUT UP!!!” She cried, squeezing her eyes shut. Mitsuru froze as his anger cooled, leaving just the sensation of regret and fear inside him. He watched his ex partner bury her face in her hands and sob into them, the sobs echoing around the room. He reached out gently and put a hand on her shoulder.

“Ikuno...I-“

“GET AWAY FROM ME!!” She screamed, her back heaving. He drew back instantly, his hand still outstretched. “Don’t you think I know this?” She asked in a quiet voice. Mitsuru looked away. “Don’t you think I know? After our piloting failed again and again I realised that you weren’t the problem. When you connected with Kokoro...and I couldn’t connect with Ichigo…I realised.” She hunched over a little more and sobbed. “It was never you.” Mitsuru sighed.

“Ikuno-“

“No!” She snapped. “Just...go.” She turned to face the city, her back to him. She heard his footsteps fade away, and the door slide shut. She felt her bottom eyelids twitch as they swam with tears, and she felt the warm sliding sensation of the drops down her face. He was right. She was pathetic. She thought about how worried she must have made Ichigo. The guilt rose up inside of her, and she bit her lip. The door slid open again, and Ikuno tensed up.

“I said go away.” She snapped. “I get it. Okay? I’m useless and you're not. Just go back to Kokoro and stop trying to make me feel even more insignificant and worthless than I already do.”

“Ikuno?” Nana’s anxious voice calmed her anger instantly and replaced it with dread. She felt Nana’s hand on her shoulder, gentle and reassuring. “What’s going on?” The girl rolled back to look up at her caretaker, and she sniffed.

“N-nothing, Nana.” Nana frowned and wiped Ikuno’s cheek with the back of her hand.

“Ikuno, what did Mitsuru say to you?” Ikuno looked away. Would she tell Nana the truth? Would she snitch on Mitsuru like this?

She shrugged.

“He just asked about the partner swap.” She said flatly. Nana frowned, unconvinced. She checked the monitor next to Ikuno’s bed.

“Your yellow blood cell count seems to be dipping. Are you feeling okay?” Ikuno shrugged. “I see. I’ll need to look into this. Just stay here.” Ikuno raised one eyebrow condescendingly. Where else could she go???

She watched the woman leave the room, before shutting her eyes again, a new kind of dull feeling forming in her stomach.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> whoops it begins 
> 
> i hope i dont start triggering and upsetting people with these themes

_ Ichigo froze as the sounds of screaming filled the air. She felt her heart skip a beat, and she began to run towards the sound, her heartbeat in her head. She stopped as the scream suddenly cut off, leaving her in a dense silence. Approaching the nearest room, she pressed her hands onto the glass panel, and felt all the blood drain from her face.  _

_ Ikuno was lying on her side, breathing heavily. Her glasses were askew, and her eyes were closed. Ichigo clapped her hands over her mouth. She watched the Adult raise a large needle over her small body, filled with a yellow liquid. She barely had time to register what was happening, before the needle was slammed into the girl’s arm, her screams making Ichigo’s blood run cold.  _

 

Ichigo awoke with a start, Ikuno’s screams following her out of the dream. It took her a moment to realise that the screams were in fact coming from her own mouth, and she quickly clapped her hands over it to stifle them. She sat, hunched over panting, as she tried to block the memory out of her mind. The procedure had succeeded in that Ikuno had survived, but the excess of yellow blood cells in her body had meant that she had a reduced emotional output. She found it harder to smile and laugh like the rest of the squad, and she often lacked social skills and struggled with social interactions. It also meant that she had a frailer immune system, and a dip in her yellow blood cell levels could potentially result in death if left unrectified. The event in itself had been so traumatic, that it had rendered the girl with an incurable fear of doctors and medicinal treatments. However, the treatment had rendered her able to pilot, but not without an unhealthy strain on her body. Ichigo tucked her hair behind her ear and sighed. 

Reaching for the uniform laid out neatly at the end of her bed, she stole a glance at Ikuno’s empty bed. It was still as she had left it, the sheets askew. She shook her head. Better to leave things as they were rather than jinx it. Pulling the dress over her head, she headed down the stairs to the breakfast table.

 

“Hey, Ichigo!” The large boy waved to her as she entered. She smiled politely back at Futoshi and took her seat miserably next to Miku, resting her elbow on the table and her head on her hand. It seemed like a lifetime ago that she had been sitting at this table, her hair messed up from sleep. She bit her lip as she gazed directly in front of her at Ikuno’s empty chair, and she felt herself start to cry. 

“Ichigo!” Ichigo blinked out of her trance and wiped her eyes, looking up at the figure who had approached her. 

“Futoshi?” 

“Nana said we could go and see Ikuno this morning!” The boy exclaimed happily. “I tried to tell you, but you didn’t hear me!” Ichigo stood up sharply. 

“Now?” He nodded. She took a deep breath and turned back to the table, picking up a napkin and knife, and grabbing a fruit from the fruit bowl. Wrapping the contents in the napkin, she turned to the door, butterflies whizzing in her stomach. “Let’s go then!” 

 

“Ten minutes.” Nana said sternly. “We need to send Ikuno for some more tests, so you can see her before she goes.” Ichigo stepped into the room, the atmosphere the same as when she had left her friend. The only sound was the beeping from the monitor next to her bed. Ikuno was lying on her side, her back to the visitors. Someone had tied her hair up into a messy ponytail, and she was breathing slowly, her body rising and falling. Ichigo took a seat on the chair and placed the food gently on the table. She put her hand on Ikuno’s waist. 

“Ikuno?” The girl moaned and shifted slightly. “Are you awake?” She rolled onto her back and smiled widely, her green eyes twinkling at her visitor. 

“Hey.” Ichigo breathed a sigh of relief. Ikuno looked much better than the last time she had visited. Her skin had regained its glow, and her face seemed fuller and more alive. Ichigo smiled back and ran her hand down Ikuno’s face. 

“Wake up sleepyhead. It’s almost 11 o’clock!” Ikuno smiled and grunted as she pushed herself up into a sitting position. 

“That's still early.” She joked weakly. Ichigo nodded, giggling softly. She reached out for the fruit she had bought and laid it out on her lap. 

“Oh no!” She cried, her face falling. 

“What? What is it?” Ikuno asked in alarm. 

“I wanted to bring you some fruit, but I didn’t see which one I picked up!” Her friend cried in dismay, lifting up a grapefruit. Ikuno laughed, a full, healthy laugh, which made her face light up, and her eyes sparkle. Ichigo felt a pulling in her chest. This kind of laugh was rare from her friend, only surfacing when she genuinely felt a strong feeling of happiness. 

“That's okay! It’s just a grapefruit! It’s not the end of the world! Grapefruits can be good too, you know!” She took the round fruit from her friend and inspected it. “Its...round...” She observed seriously, trying to find a positive about the bitter, sharp fruit. Ichigo clapped her hand to her mouth to stifle the laughs that were escaping. Ikuno smiled at her. Ichigo stopped laughing sharply. There was something about the look in Ikuno’s eyes that made her feel strange in her stomach.  Ikuno blinked and shook her head. “Uh…” Ichigo blushed. 

“Um…” Ichigo tucked her hair behind her ear and stood up. “I better...uh…” 

“Already?” Ikuno asked sadly, her face dropping.  Ichigo nodded. 

“Futoshi’s here too. He was really excited to see you. And Nana said we have less time today. So…” Ikuno cocked her head, her bangs drooping around her face. 

“Oh...uh...sure! O-okay…” She settled back down into her bedsheets, her face etched with sadness. Ichigo sighed and stroked Ikuno’s hair. 

“It’s okay. I’ll see you when you get out. Okay?” Ikuno sniffed slightly and nodded. 

“Y-yeah.” 

“You should wear your hair up like that more.” Ichigo winked at her. “You look so pretty.” Ikuno looked away, her face burning. This went unnoticed by her roommate, who had already left the room, her blue hair vanishing behind the door frame. The boy’s anxious face replaced her, his eyes filled with nerves. He sat down on the chair next to her bed, and twiddled his thumbs. 

“Hey...Hey Ikuno.” Ikuno jumped up and looked at him, her face clearing. “You look better.” She nodded. “I’m glad.” He looked away. “Really glad.” He paused. “Did they cure you?” Ikuno nodded again. 

“They had to…” She paused. “...Cut something out of me.” Futoshi paled. He grabbed ahold of her hand protectively. 

“Are you okay?!” She shrugged. 

“You get over it.” Her hand drifted to her stomach. “They botched it a little, but I can’t complain. They saved my life.” Futoshi shook his head, tears brimming in his eyes. 

“I’m so sorry.” He said, shaking his head. Ikuno cocked her head and raised one eyebrow. “Piloting with me is so dangerous. I did this to you.” Ikuno held onto his hand tighter. 

“It’s not you.” She shook her head. “Don’t be sorry.” Futoshi sniffed. She tilted his head up. “Hey,” He looked up at her sadly. “It’s okay…” He cupped her hand and held it to his face. 

“I don’t want to hurt you…” He whispered. Ikuno smiled weakly. 

“It’s okay.” She inhaled sharply. “We’ll get back in Chlorophytum and do our best. Okay?” He shook his head. “Futoshi?” 

“We can’t pilot together anymore.” He said in a low voice. Ikuno drew back from him in surprise. 

“Wh-what?” She winced again and rubbed her head. “What are you talking about?” He asked slowly. 

“I can’t pilot with you, and feel like I’m making a difference to the team, knowing that it’s slowly killing you. And don’t say it’s not!” He snapped as she opened her mouth in protest. “I care about you too much to let you die like this.” Ikuno was lost for words. She grunted and grabbed her stomach sharply. “I’m going to tell Nana after this meeting. I just wanted to- Are you okay!?” He cried sharply as he noticed her laboured breathing. She nodded and moaned. 

“I-I’m okay. I’m just...due for...a dose of something.” She let out a small gasp of pain and squeezed her eyes shut. “C-can you get Nana?” He nodded rapidly and stood up. “I’m sorry.” She said weakly. “I-I don’t mean to push you out. I just-” She groaned. He shook his head. 

“No, no! It’s okay! Just stay here.” He turned and ran out of the room, his footsteps fading away.    
  


 

Ichigo sat up sharply, causing Goro to jump, and the rod to fling sideways suddenly. The boy, evidently disgruntled by the interruption of his concentration, withdrew the rod from the water completely, and turned to his companion. 

“What’s up? Are you okay?” Ichigo nodded, rubbing her eye. 

“I just had a horrible dream.” She said shakily. Goro pulled her into his chest instinctively, his warm embrace cooling Ichigo’s anxiety instantly. She felt his heartbeat in his chest, and hugged him back. “Thanks.” She said softly, smiling. 

“Want to talk about it?” He asked airily, releasing her and fiddling in his basket for some fresh bait. Ichigo looked down at her fingers and pressed their tips together. 

“Maybe.” Goro hooked some bread onto the metal hook and flung it out to the lake, its entrance into the water causing ripples to pan out in all directions. 

“Try me.” He said invitingly. Ichigo looked back from her fixation on the ripples and tugged her sleeves down her arms. 

“I-I just had a bad dream about Ikuno.” She said slowly. “I’m still awfully worried about her. I know Nana said she’d be okay after her operation, but-“

“But you’re still worried that something will happen.” Goro finished, looking down at her expectantly. Ichigo picked at the grass under her body and nodded. “That’s okay. A little anxiety about people we care about is normal. I worry about you all the time!” He said, blushing slightly. Ichigo glanced up at him. 

“You do? Why??” He sighed, releasing the rod with one hand and using it to pat Ichigo on the head patronisingly. 

“Because you work too much, and you worry too much. Eventually you’re going to overdo it.” She scowled at him, smacking his hand off her. 

“You don’t know that!” She snapped. He laughed. 

“Sorry, sorry!” He resumed his concentration on the floating lure, bobbing up and down on the water. 

“I wish I could stop worrying so much.” Ichigo said after a while. “I know it’s not good for her. But she doesn’t have the same bond with everyone that we do.” Goro nodded knowingly. Ever since they were in the Garden, the squad had more or less interacted with each other often. Miku and Kokoro’s close relationship stemmed from this, as did Ichigo’s, Goro’s and Hiro’s. Ikuno had never done this. She had spent her time sitting alone, just reading books the Adults had laid out for them. When they were grouped together as a squad, the only reason Ikuno was accepted so fast was because Ichigo had recognised her. “I just want to make sure she’s happy.” Ichigo concluded miserably. Goro nodded. 

“I see.” He tugged on the rod gently. “Well, it’s almost dinner time. You can check on her then.” Ichigo nodded, and resumed her picking of the grass.

Ichigo was walking with her head against Goro’s shoulder, the evening breeze cooling her legs. They had not succeeded with catching anything, however towards the end Zero Two and Hiro had joined them, the half klaxosaur girl instantly diving into the water and surfacing with a fish in between her teeth. Goro had scowled with shame as Hiro had roared with laughter, the fish flailing around in his partner’s grasp. The two were ahead of them slightly, Zero Two skipping amiably, her hair still flicking drops of water around, her partner giggling, and attempting to catch her. Ichigo still felt the pang of jealousy whenever she saw Hiro act like this, but, admittedly, it was getting better. Her thoughts drifted to her other squadmates. Did they feel the same way about someone that she did about Hiro? She thought back to how Goro had told her how he felt once she had saved his life. She knew he loved her. Glancing up at the tall boy, she smiled softly. He looked down at her and reciprocated, his cheeks blushing slightly. She thought about Ikuno. Maybe she needed something to love. Some _ one  _ to love. Something that would give her the same buzz that Ichigo felt when she saw her black haired squadmate. She frowned and brought her finger to her lips in thought. Maybe…

 

Pushing open the door, Ichigo sighed and kicked off her shoes. The heavy soled shoes hit the wall and fell to the wooden floor with a thump. She leaned down and buckled up the indoor shoes she kept by the door, tucking her hair behind her ear. She adjusted her dress and sighed. She would eat, then go and see Ikuno straight afterwards. No exceptions. She had to get her friend out of her dark place. She could see it in her face every time she visited. Ikuno only seemed to genuinely smile when she visited her. Her face always dropped when she left. Her body slouched, and the life seemed to seep out of her. The isolation from her squad was taking a serious toll on her mental health. Ichigo headed towards the living room, deep in thought. She ran her hand down the wooden door frame and sighed again, not looking up at the people in the room. Taking a seat on the sofa, she leaned back against the soft leather and pressed both hands to her face. A hand rested on her shoulder.

“Ichigo?” Ichigo’s eyes snapped open. She sat up straight so fast the hand was thrown from her shoulder. She stood up and whirled around, her eyes wide and brimming with tears. The bespectacled girl laughed softly and replaced her hand on ichigo’s shoulder. “What’s the matter? You look like you’ve seen a ghost!” Ichigo cried out in happiness and hugged the girl tightly, burying her head in her chest. 

“I-Ikuno!!” Ikuno grinned and stroked her friends hair, hugging her back. 

“Hey, Ichigo.” 

“You’re back!” The girl nodded. 

“All fixed up.” Ichigo cried out again, tears running down her cheeks, staining Ikuno’s uniform. 

“D-Don’t sc-sc-sc-scare me like that a-a-gain!!” Ichigo sobbed violently, her back heaving. Ikuno stroked her back, murmuring softly. 

“Shh...shh…” Tears brimmed in her own eyes. “It’s okay...It’s okay…” Ichigo held her friend at arm’s length and smiled. 

“It is!” She wiped her eyes. “C-Come on! Let’s go and get you something to eat!” Ikuno nodded, and let the girl lead her towards the table. 

As they entered the dining room, the squad buzzed excitedly at the return of their squadmate. Ikuno smiled meekly and waved, heading to her seat next to Kokoro. 

“Ikuno?” Mitsuru’s voice made her freeze and turn slowly. She glanced at him in worry. He patted the seat next to him. “Would you mind?” She straightened up in surprise and glanced at Ichigo, who had already sat down, her fork in her hand. She gulped and nodded, sitting down next to the boy. He smiled at her slightly, a smile which struck fear into her heart. It was a smile, there was no doubt, but it seemed cold and forced...and slightly malicious. 

He patted her hand. She jumped and quickly drew her hand away from him, her eyes wide. 

“S-sorry…” She mumbled in embarrassment, covering her face with her hands. He smiled again, the same, bitter smile. 

“That’s okay. Take your time. Just eat something and rest up. Okay?” She nodded, lowering her hands slowly to rest on the table. She gripped her fork tightly. Sitting next to Mitsuru wasn’t the ideal situation. She glanced at Kokoro. She wa staring at Mitsuru with a strange expression on her face. Ikuno caught eye contact and shrugged apologetically. 

 

The rest of the meal proceeded as normal. Naturally, the squad had many questions for Ikuno, who tried her best to answer them all, her face turning more and more red as she revealed more humiliating details about her medical emergency. 

“So, did they actually cut you open???” Zorome cried in wonder, his eyes alight with interest. Ikuno reddened and her head sunk into the collar of her dress. 

“Y-yeah…” Ichigo flinched, the squeamish parasite attempting to block out the thought. 

“T-that’s enough Zorome.” She said sharply. 

“Ohoho...cool!” The boy cried, ignoring his leader’s request. “Hey, hey, did it leave a big scar afterwards?” Ikuno shrugged. 

“N-Nana said it’ll probably scar. But-“

“Enough!” Ichigo yelled angrily, her eyes brimming with tears. “Ikuno, I want you to go to bed. Now.” The squad stared at her in an awkward silence. Mitsuru sighed and stood up. 

“I’ll take Ikuno upstairs.” He held out his hand to the girl, who took it shyly. He pulled her to her feet and took her by the hand, leading her out of the room. Ichigo gasped as she felt that familiar pang of jealousy inside of her. Jealousy? She blinked. Why would she be jealous? Mitsuru was taking care of her. She should be happy for Ikuno. She might finally have a boy to look after her. That’s what she needed. She shook her head and turned back to her dinner, the feeling of jealousy still bubbling inside her.

 

“Thank you.” Ikuno said quietly, as he held her bedroom door open for her to enter. He nodded, and stepped in after her, shutting the door behind him. Ikuno bent down to pick up her night clothes, but froze when she realised her companion was still present. “I-Is something wrong?” She asked uncertainly. Mitsuru sighed. 

“Ikuno, I’m sorry about what I said.” Ikuno’s eyes widened and her eyebrows raised. Mitsuru was apologising??? She mock shrugged in indifference. 

“I-I don’t know what you mean-“

“What I said about you being useless. It...it wasn’t true.” He looked away. Ikuno crossed her arms.

“Did Nana put you up to this?” He shook his head persistently.

“No, no!” Ikuno relaxed. Maybe he was just feeling guilt. After all, he was a human being too. She smiled reassuringly.

“It’s okay. I appreciate the apology.” She watched the boy bow and turn to the door, and she leaned back down to pick up her night clothes again, pulling off her uniform, and discarding it to one side.

 

“Ikuno?” She stood up sharply and whirled around, self conscious. Before she could react, Mitsuru pressed against her, pinning her against the wall. He stared into her eyes with a strange expression on his face. Without warning, he leaned down and kissed her hard on the lips. 

Ikuno paled, her eyes frozen wide. She felt his lips on hers, his tongue inside her mouth. She jumped as she felt a pressure on her breast, and realised Mitsuru was holding one in his hand, squeezing it softly. Her body was frozen. She couldn’t push him off, or stop him. His lips were warm on hers, and she felt his breathing on her face. His other hand snaked between her legs, and touched her underwear softly. Ikuno trembled, her body rigid. After what seemed like an eternity, he pulled away and gazed down at her. Ikuno was still pale, staring into space, her body shaking. He kissed her on the cheek.

“I’ll see you later.” He said softly, his hand running gently down the remnants of her operation wound. “It’s nice to have you back. I’ve missed you.” He said, patting her cheek, before leaving the room, shutting the door behind him.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> gee i sure hope nothing bad happens now

Ikuno stood in silence, her mouth slightly open. Her skin burned where he’d touched her, and she still felt his lips on hers. She was shaking. Mitsuru had kissed her. He had...he had  _ kissed  _ her. Wasn’t that the ultimate display of love?? What did this mean??? Her hands drifted to her lips and she touched then softly. She didn’t feel love for him like he must do for her. Wiping her lips with the back of her hand, she shakily unclasped her bra and slid the nightgown over her head. She sat on her bed, staring into space, her lips still parted. She was in shock, in denial, that something like this could have happened to her. Surely he knew what he was doing? He knew his partner was Kokoro... Kisses are supposed to be for your partners...aren’t they?

 

 

“Ikunooo!!” Ichigo’s singsong voice faded into earshot. “I brought you a dessert!!” She pushed open the door. “I-“ She stopped at the sight of her friend, pale and shaking, on the edge of her bed. Her eyes were wide and unfixed, and she was picking unconsciously at the skin on the back of her left arm, hard, her nails digging into her pale skin. “IKUNO!” The leader cried in alarm, setting down the plate of custard on the dresser and kneeling down in front of her. “Kuno?” She asked cautiously, taking the girl’s hands in her own. Ichigo glanced down at Ikuno’s arm. The picking had left small spots of blood, and the usual pale skin was stained a blotchy red. “Kuno…” Ikuno blinked, and her face cleared. 

“Oh…” She said slowly, as if she had just noticed the girl’s presence, “Ichigo...hi…” 

“Are you okay?” Ichigo asked in alarm. Ikuno paused, then nodded. “Sure?” Ikuno nodded again. 

“Yes…” She paused again and looked down at her arm. “Ow…” 

“Does it hurt?” Ikuno nodded. 

“It stings.” Ichigo stood up and retrieved the plate from the dresser. She held it out to her friend, who took it carefully. 

“Here. Eat this, and I’ll get something for that. Okay?” Ikuno nodded. Ichigo crossed her arms. “And you better eat it. You need to eat to get your strength up. I’ll know if you tip it down the sink.” Ikuno smiled softly, comforted by the stern words of her friend. 

“Yes, Nana.” She joked weakly. Ichigo relaxed slightly and smiled, heading out of the room. Ikuno picked up a spoonful of the custard and let it glop back down into the plate. She sighed, placing the plate on her end table. She removed her underwear and pulled up her night shorts, tying her hair up in a messy ponytail, the way Ichigo had liked it. She placed her fingers to her lips again. It still burned where Mitsuru had touched her. She placed one hand carefully over the place where he’d touched her. She knew boys and girls’ bodies were different. But...was that what the difference was for? For him to just touch her as he liked? She shuddered. She didn’t particularly like the idea of being a plaything for Mitsuru...or Futoshi...or any of the boys. She didn’t want anything to do with them romantically. Sighing, she looked at Ichigo’s bed, and shook her head slowly at the sight of the unmade bedclothes. She set to work righting them, smoothing out the creases, and placing the stuffed animals on the pillow. 

She knew what she wanted in her heart. But she couldn’t tell Mitsuru this. She paused. If she didn’t tell him, he might keep- 

Her hand drifted to between her legs, where he had touched her. 

He might keep doing this. 

And she couldn’t take that. 

  
  
  


The door creaked open and Ikuno looked up from the empty plate. Ichigo sighed, placing the box next to Ikuno on the bed and taking the plate from her. 

“You know,” She said slowly, “I said not to tip it down the sink.” Ikuno nodded. 

“I didn’t.” She insisted. 

“Ikuno…” Ichigo sighed. “You and I both know plants don’t need custard to live.” Ikuno looked away, blushing shamefully. Ichigo set the plate down and walked to the open window. She poked her head out and looked down at the grass below, which was stained a yellowish green. She felt her stomach drop. “Do you not want to get better?” She asked quietly. Ikuno straightened up in protest. 

“Of course I do!” Ichigo turned back to her and knelt down, her eyes brimming with tears. 

“Then please…” She begged, opening the box she’d bought with her, “...trust me.” Ikuno sighed, and watched her friend busy herself with the various medical items inside the box, wiping her arm carefully with an antibacterial wipe. 

“Ouch!!” Ikuno cried out sharply as the antibacterial solution sent a strong stinging sensation up her arm. Ichigo looked away. 

“Sorry.” Ikuno bit her lip and nodded. She watched her blue haired friend wrap a dressing around her arm, soothing the stinging. She secured it in place and packed up the contents of the box. “There.” She announced, kissing the dressing softly. “All better.” Ikuno felt her stomach swoop. Ichigo may not have kissed  _ her _ ...but the dressing was close enough. 

“I don’t know what I’d do without you.” Ikuno said softly, gazing at her friend. Ichigo blushed slightly and giggled. 

“Kuno!” Ikuno blushed too. “You better get to bed. Come on!” Ikuno nodded and climbed under the bedsheets, propping her head on her hand, and watched her friend gather the plate and spoon together. “By the way,” Ichigo said, pausing at the door, “Thank you for making my bed for me.” Ikuno felt a flush burn her neck. Ichigo noticed what she’d done? 

“I-it’s nothing.” She said dismissively, watching the door shut behind her. She sighed, and drifted into a fitful sleep. 

  
  
  


“Okay! First and foremost! Welcome back Ikuno.” Nana said cheerfully, nodding at the purple haired girl. Ikuno blushed slightly and nodded back, her hands in her lap. Nana consulted her clipboard and sighed deeply. “First matter of the day,” She pressed a button and a Klaxosaur appeared on the screens behind her. “This was spotted causing havoc on a nearby Plantation. It escaped before the squad could deal with it effectively, and suspicions point to it heading our way. So we will be sending you out on a patrol.” 

“A p-patrol?” Kokoro asked, tilting her head.  Nana nodded. 

“A little different to what we are used to, I know. But the concept is the same. You will just be out in the franxx for longer than usual.” Ichigo felt her stomach twist. She stole a glance at her squadmate, who was fiddling with her glasses in her lap. Slowly, she raised her hand. “Yes, Ichigo?” 

“Uh…” Ichigo glanced at Ikuno again. “The ‘longer than usual’-“

“Of course. The Chlorophytum will not be required to stay out as long as the rest of you. Okay, Ikuno?” Ikuno nodded. “Mitsuru?” The boy nodded. A collective gasp rippled through the group. 

“M-Mitsuru?” Kokoro asked uncertainly. “What’s going on?” Mitsuru sighed irritably. 

“You tell her.” He snapped at Futoshi, who blushed a deep pink. 

“I-I don’t want to pilot with Ikuno anymore.” He admitted shakily. “I-It’s too hard on her! I don’t want to be the reason she gets ill again...or worse!” He trailed off, his face burning. “I’m sorry, Kokoro.” 

“Futoshi…” The girl shook her head. “That’s a very brave thing for you to do.” She put her hand on his and smiled. “It’s okay.” He smiled in relief, his face clearing. 

“I-I wasn’t informed of this!” Ikuno squeaked, her face pale. “I-I...I…” 

“Is there a problem?” Nana asked sternly. Ikuno glanced at Mitsuru. He scowled at her. She raised her hand to her lips and touched them softly. 

“No…” She said quietly. Nana nodded. 

“Then we have an agreement. To your stations!” 

  
  
  


“Are you scared of me?” Mitsuru asked, causing Ikuno to jump. 

“No.” She lied, looking up at the large purple FRANXX. He sighed and shrugged.

“Okay then.” 

“Why did you do it?” She snapped, walking towards the cockpit. He followed, smirking. 

“Do what?” She whipped around and scowled at him. 

“You know what!” He pulled her close and put his forehead on hers. “Stop it!” 

“You mean this?” He asked silkily, pressing his lips onto hers. She tensed up and pushed him off of her, wiping her lips with the back of her hand. 

“Stop it!!” She cried again, her eyes filling with tears. “Stop!!!” The boy laughed and stepped into the machine, his hands behind his back. Ikuno was shaking. She wiped her eyes furiously. How  _ dare  _ he??? Turning to the cockpit, she entered also, pushing down the uneasiness that came with the thought of effectively presenting herself to the boy she hated. 

Mitsuru was seated already, adjusting his gloves. 

 

“Come on then.” She flinched and shrank back. “Ikuno.” He said sternly. “Come on. Stop being so weak. It was just a kiss.” Ikuno sighed and leaned down in front of him, inserting her arms into the holes either side of her seat. 

“It wasn’t just a kiss.” She murmured. 

“What was that?”

“Nothing.” She dismissed, her stomach turning. It hadn’t been ‘just a kiss’. It had been her first, the one she had been saving for the person she would hold close to her forever. And he had stolen it from her. She sighed and resigned herself, letting him take ahold of the controls attached to her suit. 

  
  


“This is so pointless...When can we go home??” Zorome groaned, Argentea creaking.  Miku scowled and caused the FRANXX to snap back upright. 

“Keep it together! We just need to keep a look out!” 

Ichigo sighed deeply. Goro’s head jerked up from his chest where it had drooped in tiredness, and he rubbed his forehead. 

“Hmmf...Ichigo…” Ichigo yawned. 

“Yeah?” 

“Can we call it quits? Just for now…” 

“Absolutely not!!” Nana’s stern voice. cut through the hazy atmosphere, causing the parasites to jump and cry out in surprise. “Stay alert until the whereabouts of that klaxosaur are confirmed or established!” Zorome groaned and slammed his head into the side of his seat. 

“But! It’s! So! Boring!” He moaned. stamping his feet. 

“Cut it OUT!!” Miku snapped. Ichigo sighed and cut off the transmission from the twin tailed FRANXX, silencing the pair’s imminent bickering. 

“Thanks.” Goro laughed softly. Ichigo shrugged. 

“Anytime.” She paused. “I want to check on how Ikuno is doing. Please?” He nodded. 

“Good idea.” 

  
  


Ikuno’s arms shook. She felt a strong craving for the morphine that had so often flowed through her veins. Her breathing was heavy, and her body was sweating. She felt an immense pressure on her entire body, almost like she could almost feel the weight of the FRANXX in its entirety resting on her weak frame. She coughed for what seemed like the umpteenth time, her throat screaming with pain.

“Getting tired?” Mitsuru asked smugly. She shook her head, pushing down nausea. 

“No!” She gagged and arched her back. 

“There’s no shame in not being able to do it.” He prompted, the smug undertone still evident in his voice. Ikuno scowled and shook her head, swallowing hard, and coughing again.

“You’d like that…” She hissed. 

“Ikuno?? Ikuno!! Come in!” Ichigo’s anxious voice rang through the cockpit, causing Ikuno to breathe a small sigh of relief, and Mitsuru to scowl and tighten his grip on the controls. 

“H-Hi Ichi...Ichigo…” She breathed, her voice catching in her throat. 

“How are you doing??” The small girl squeaked anxiously. “Are you okay??” Ikuno panted and coughed. “Ikuno???” Ikuno continued to cough, her arms shaking. “Kuno!!!”  Ikuno retched and coughed, not noticing the familiar sensation of tears rolling down her face. 

“Ikuno is...struggling.” Mitsuru said flatly. “To say the  _ least _ .” Ichigo felt her heart stop. 

“Then...then stop!” She cried. “Return back to the Plantation at once! That’s an order!” Ikuno coughed a final time, blood hitting the metal floor of the FRANXX. Her arms gave way, and she collapsed to the floor, her body trembling. The FRANXX powered down, and Mitsuru rolled his eyes. “IKUNO!!” Ichigo shrieked in panic. Ikuno was lying on her side, blood trickling down from the corner of her mouth, and her eyes closed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yea 
> 
>  
> 
> sorry


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> //trigger warning for a proper assault this time//
> 
> hit or miss i guess they never miss huh you got a boyfriend i bet he doesnt kiss ya

“It was too soon.” Ichigo said grimly, shaking her head. “Part of me _knew_ it was too soon…” She looked down at the girl, who was lying motionless on the bed. Her face was a deathly white, and the sides of her mouth were stained with blood. Nana leaned over her, inspecting her body. After a while, she straightened up and cleared her throat.

“There’s still strain when she pilots.  The blood has come from a small patch of rawness in her throat, which we can fix.” She wiped Ikuno’s mouth gently. “Caused by strained breathing.” Ichigo breathed a sigh of relief. “Ichigo.” Ichigo looked up sharply. “I don’t know how to tell you this.” Ichigo felt her stomach drop, and she anxiously wrang her hands over each other. There was something apologetic in the woman’s voice that made her feel uneasy.

“Wh-what is it?” Nana sighed.

“Ikuno is...going to be sent away...if this keeps up.” Ichigo paled.

“S-sent…”

“Papa is not happy with the Chlorophytum’s performance. First it was Mitsuru, and now its Ikuno.” She shook her head. “If this keeps up...they’ll remove her from the squad.”

“Forever?” Nana looked away. Ichigo wiped her eyes. “I...I see.” She stroked Ikuno’s hand gently. The girl did not react, her eyes remaining shut. “What can we do?”

“Nothing that we can force. We just have to wait and hope that Ikuno pulls through in the next 3 days. If she does not show considerable improvement-“ Nana cut off as the girl beneath them groaned and stirred.

“mmmf...Nana?” She croaked, her bandaged arm gently resting on her forehead.

“Ikuno!”

“Ich-Ichigo?” She turned slowly to face the squad leader, her eyes opening. “What happened? Where’s the klaxosaur?” Ichigo shook her head.

“We didn’t find it.”

“B-but the patrol-“

“We called it off after you collapsed.” Ikuno tilted her head.

“I...I collapsed?” She looked around the room in shock. “Wh…” She shook as the truth hit her. “Oh no…” She murmured weakly. “Oh no…”

“What?” Nana asked sharply.

“Mitsuru was right…” She muttered thickly through her tears, her hands over her face. “He was right…”

“Ikuno! Stop crying! It’s bad for your throat!” Ichigo cried in alarm. Ikuno gulped and coughed violently, a few drops of blood running down her chin.

“O-okay-“ She coughed again. “I-I'm sorry!! I-“ Nana sighed and injected a vial of morphine into her arm, causing the girl to go limp, and lie on the bed in silence, her eyes closed.

“She has three days.” Nana repeated. “I’ll let you know what has happened tomorrow morning.” Ichigo nodded, unable to tear her gaze from her unconscious friend.

 

* * *

 

Ichigo slipped out of her uniform and left it lying on the floor. She reached for tlhe folded nightshirt that had been laid out on her bed. Her hand trembled. Waiting was agony. She had no news, no whisper of information. And it was driving her mad. She pulled the cotton dress over her head, the cool fabric brushing against her skin. She bent down and picked up her uniform, folding it neatly and leaving it on the dresser. She turned towards Ikuno’s empty bed and tears sprang into her eyes. She couldn't stay in here. Not like this. She picked up her stuffed animal from her bed and headed towards the boys room.

 

Goro opened the door to his bedroom, and held it for Hiro to enter behind him. He pulled off his uniform and stood in his boxers.

“I can't help but worry.” He said suddenly. Hiro, who had also removed his uniform, paused and turned to his friend.

“About Ikuno?”

“About Ichigo and Ikuno.” He folded up his uniform. “I want to make sure Ichigo’s happy…” He paused, “...but I can’t cure Ikuno like that.” He snapped his fingers. Hiro nodded.

“I understand what you're saying.”

“I worry too much about Ichigo I suppose.” Goro remarked, placing his uniform neatly on the floor at the end of his bed. “She doesn't need this. She's not good at handling emotions like this.” He picked up his nightshirt and pulled back his duvet covers. “I just think sometimes she-” He stopped and yelped, jumping backwards. Hiro jumped also and hid behind his friend. Ichigo was curled up underneath Goro’s bedsheets, her stuffed animal encased in her arms. Her face was relaxed and peaceful, and she was breathing slowly. At the sound of his yell of surprise, she stirred and opened her eyes slowly. Goro cried out and grabbed Hiro’s pillow to cover himself, while Hiro hid even further behind him.

“Ichigo???”

“...mmf...hmm..?...Oh...Goro...Hiro…”  She yawned. “Hey…” Ichigo murmured sleepily, rubbing her eyes.

“What are you doing in our room!” Cried Goro, his face turning dark red. Ichigo shrank back.

“I couldn't...I couldn't sleep in my bedroom alone...knowing what I know...I'm sorry…” Goro sighed and walked towards her, Hiro shuffling behind. He sat down on the bed. Hiro gulped and grabbed the pillow from him, covering his own body. Goro slowly stroked her shoulder.

“I see. It's okay. Don't worry. She's going to be oka-”

“They’re going to take her.” Ichigo said flatly, staring into space. “I can feel it.” Goro sighed.

“You don't know that.” Ichigo craned her neck to look at him.

“She has three days. If she couldn’t even pilot a franxx for an hour after days of treatment, a few days of bed rest will do nothing!” Goro looked away. He sighed again and stroked her face.

“Again, you don't know that. Just relax.” Ichigo held onto his hand and shut her eyes again. Within seconds, she was fast asleep, her chest rising and falling slowly.

“What are you going to do?” Asked Hiro nervously. He had changed into his night clothes and was watching his friend cautiously. Goro smiled at Ichigo.

“I'm not going to kick her out.” He pulled his night shirt over his head, and slowly edged her over in the bed. Hiro lay down and watched Goro get into the bed next to her. Ichigo’s arm snaked over his chest, and she smiled in her sleep. He smiled down at her again, and stroked her hair.

“That's cute.”

“Shut up.” Goro said playfully, taking off his glasses and placing them on the nightstand. “Goodnight.”

“‘Night.”

 

Ichigo woke up, panting. She sat up in the bed and gasped for air. Her body was shaking, and her palms and back were sweating. Next to her, Goro rolled over so he was facing her.

“You okay?” He asked groggily. Ichigo gulped and nodded. Goro rubbed his eyes and reached up, pulling her back down by her shoulder. “Come on, it was just a nightmare.”

“But it felt so _real_.” Ichigo said nervously. Goro draped his arm over her body and pulled her closer.

“I know…” He murmured, already half asleep again. “I know...I...know…” Ichigo buried her head in his chest and put her arm around him too.   
  


“EW!!” Yelled Zorome in disgust, pointing at Goro’s bed. Hiro sat up in shock, rubbing his eye, and fluffing his hair.

“I’M Up...I'm up!” Goro jumped and sat up, frantically reaching for his glasses. Ichigo yelled in shock and fear and burrowed down under the bedsheets.

“I'm uP!” Goro cried in a panic. He put his glasses on and scowled at Zorome. “What? What do you want??”

“Why is _she_ in the boy's room!” He asked, pointing at Ichigo. Goro ran a hand through his hair.

“Because she can't sleep by herself. It’s not the first night this has happened, so calm down. And you can't answer a question with a question. It's rude.” Zorome blushed in embarrassment. “So? What is it?”

“U-Uh!” He shuffled nervously. “Uh…”

“Nana said she wants to talk to all of us together!” Futoshi piped up, appearing in the doorway next to his friend. Ichigo sat up straight, her eyes wide.   


“I assume you all know why I’m here.” Nana said gravely. Ichigo paled. This was the third day. She gulped hard. “There may be a major change to this squad.” Nana spoke slowly. “And for your next mission…” She paused, taking a breath. “...You will be completing it without the aid of Chlorophytum.” Ichigo felt her stomach drop. She knew it. Part of her had known it from the start. Three days wasn’t long enough. Her lip trembled and she hugged onto Goro tightly, her tears staining his nightgown.

Goro raised his hand. “Is this permanent?” Nana shook her head.

“I’m not authorised to tell you.”

“What about me?!” Mitsuru snapped angrily. Nana looked at him coolly.

“You will remain here in Mistilteinn until we have reached a final conclusion on what to do. Any more questions?” She asked, drowning out the boy’s shouts of protest.

“I-Is Ikuno okay?” Ichigo asked shakily. Nana shook her head.

“As okay as she can be at this point. Again, that’s all I’m authorised to tell you. Now,” She clapped her hands once. “Back to patrolling.” The squad groaned and filed out of the door, leaving Mitsuru alone. 

* * *

Ikuno sat on the steps of the house, the wind blowing around her face gently. It was warm and humid, the pleasant kind, and she could feel the sun's rays on her body. She assumed the squad had gone on a mission without her...which, she thought, was understandable. She kept dragging them down anyway. Scratching at the bandages that encased her neck, she stood up shakily and headed out into the forest.

 

Mitsuru skipped a stone angrily across the surface of the lake, the water breaking and ripples expanding out across the still surface. He was seething. How _dare_ they unauthorise his FRANXX?? How _dare they???_ He had worked too hard for too long to become suitable to pilot a FRANXX; fighting lethal injections, increasing his aptitude to match Hiro’s, and putting up with... _her_. He shuddered. This was all her fault. His weak willed, foolish partner. He picked up another smooth pebble in his hand and hurled it at the lake, it’s entrance into the water sending birds flying off in all directions from their slumber. He leaned forward and looked at his dancing reflection in the water. It gazed back at him, stoic and unchanging. Striking the surface in anger, he watched his distorted reflection slowly align again, and he jumped back as the face of his partner gazed back at him.

“Ikuno!” He snapped angrily, looking up at the girl who was standing behind him. Ikuno jumped and pulled the blanket tighter around her shoulders.

“S-sorry!” He scowled at her.

“‘Sorry’ doesn’t cut it!” He snapped again, scrambling to his feet and advancing on her. She squeaked and backed away, her feet slipping over the grass. Mitsuru lunged at her, grabbing her arms and shaking her violently. “I lost my position as a Stamen because of you!” Ikuno squealed and tried to pull away in panic. “Because of YOU!” He yelled at her, causing her to mumble incoherently as tears filled her eyes. “God!” He cried angrily. He released her and looked down at his shaking hands. Ikuno looked at him warily.

“Mitsuru...I-“

“SHUT UP!” He screamed at her. She flinched. “I worked TOO HARD to become a pilot, to make sure I was in the same league as Hiro, and now you’ve taken all of that away from me!! ARE YOU HAPPY??” She shook her head.

“N...no...of course not…” She looked away. “I know how you feel. There is someone I wanted to pilot with as well. I worked so hard to become the same level of aptitude as them...I could never get my code high enough.” She sighed wistfully. “A-and...I’ll never pilot with them either…” She concluded sadly. Mitsuru relaxed slightly. It was true, Ikuno’s code was way higher than anyone could have predicted for someone of her aptitude and potential. He had vague memories of seeing her reading intensely while the other children played.  Was she trying to get a better code? Was she telling the truth? He looked up at the sad girl again. She wanted to pilot with someone...but who? Surely not Hiro or Goro...Zorome? No. Never. It couldn’t have been Futoshi either; her code was almost half of his. He froze, his diary entries surging into his mind. There was only one person she could be talking about. He sighed, but then scowled and clenched his fists.

Ikuno looked up sharply as the boy hurtled towards her, his fist raised. She cried out in alarm but did not move quickly enough; the palm of his hand coming into contact with her cheek. The snap of flesh hitting flesh echoed around the still forest. Ikuno fell to the floor, coughing, and clutching her face.  Mitsuru stood over her, his hand cradled, shaking with anger.

“Don’t ever try and fool me.” He hissed. “We aren’t similar. We have NOTHING in common. Keep away from me.” He turned and headed back towards the house, leaving Ikuno gasping on the grass.

 

Mitsuru sighed and kicked his bed frame angrily. This wasn’t fair. How come, out of the hundreds of years that Children had been piloting FRANXX, _he_ was stuck with the defection? Typical. He kicked the frame again, before flopping onto his bed, and covering his face with his arms. What could he do? Ikuno struggled so much because she didn’t _want_ to pilot with him...a boy. He couldn’t change _that_. But-

He sat up sharply.

Maybe he could change _her_. 

* * *

 

Ikuno winced and rolled onto her knees. She sat, panting, her forehead against the grass, her nostrils flooded with the scent of nature. Her stomach ached terribly, and her face stung. How could he do this to her? After he _kissed_ her? Did the kiss mean nothing? Was it all a joke? Her heart broke at the thought. All this just to mess with her…

She grunted and pushed herself to her feet, stumbling back towards the house.   


Mitsuru slowly pushed open the door to the room that Kokoro and Miku shared. He felt a pang of guilt that he was trespassing in their private section of the house, but if he didn’t do this, he would never get to pilot again. He glanced at Kokoro’s end table. The book she had stolen from the town lay resting on the edge. He steeled himself and grabbed it, half expecting some sort of alarm to go off. Laughing nervously at his own foolishness, he slunk back out of the room, shutting the door behind him. 

Ikuno sat down on the sofa, her legs shaking. She scratched the bandages around her neck. This wasn’t fair. How come he got to attack her like this? She should have reported him immediately. Especially since the squad was out. If they’d gone on that stupid patrol again...they wouldn’t be back for hours! She sighed, still cradling her tender cheek. There would probably be a mark there tomorrow...and that’s just what she needed. Another thing to worry the life out of her squad leader. She sighed and tilted her head back. She had to do _something_ to make up with Mitsuru. This wasn’t going to work if they both argued all the time. She paused. Did she want to make up with someone who made her feel like a low human being? And...and he had hit her. Nobody had ever hurt her like that. But-

He had stolen her first kiss. She sighed, and got to her feet. If she couldn’t get along with the person who had kissed her, she would never find peace in this partnership.   


 

Ikuno gently turned the knob of Mitsuru’s bedroom door, her heart pounding in her chest. She pulled open the door, and froze as she found herself face to face with the boy, who quickly hid something behind his back.

“M-Mitsur-“

“Ikuno, I’m sorry!” He cried instantly, causing Ikuno to step back slightly in shock. She blinked. He continued. “I shouldn’t have touched you! I...OH!” He cried in alarm, noticing the reddened mark on her cheek. His hand cupped it gently. Ikuno tensed up. There was something about this that felt wrong. Something that made her feel...uncomfortable. He gently stroked her cheek with his thumb. “Are you okay?” She nodded.

“Yeah.” She pulled away slightly. “I, uhm…” Mitsuru grabbed onto her other arm and pulled her close to him. “M-Mi-“

“Can you forgive me?” He asked softly. Ikuno swallowed hard, gazing up at him with her large eyes. He sounded so sincerely sorry...and yet-

The grip on her arm said otherwise.

She nodded. “Sure… I forgive you.” He sighed with relief and smiled.

“Good. You know I’d never hurt you, right?” She nodded.

“Yes.” She lied. He put his forehead against hers and pulled her into the bedroom further.

“Good…” He paused. “Hey, you’re my partner right?” She nodded a third time. “You’re _my_ partner.” She glanced at him nervously.

“Y-yeah.”

“Good.” He confirmed, kissing her forehead gently. “You’re very good.” Ikuno shivered. The temperature in the room seemed to have dropped several degrees. He pulled her further into the room. “You know,” He said gently, tilting her head up to face him. “You’re probably the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen.” Ikuno squirmed nervously. She knew that wasn’t true. She had nothing on Kokoro, or Miku, or Ichigo. And she didn’t even want to begin to compare herself to Zero Two. She looked away. “You don’t believe it?” He asked quizzically. Ikuno shook her head. He sighed, pulling her head back to face him again. His thumb traced her lower lip. Ikuno’s heart was pounding. Was he going to kiss her again? She didn’t want that. She weakly pushed against his shoulders, her pupils dilated with fear.

Mitsuru smiled and pressed his lips onto hers. Ikuno cried out in a muffled voice and tears sprang into her eyes. She gripped his shoulders hard, attempting to push him off of her.  Mitsuru slowly reached up and tugged on the zip of her uniform, pulling it all the way down to her waist. Ikuno froze. She glanced down at his movements and tried to pull back. He gripped her tightly, pulling her even closer to him. His hand snaked up underneath her dress and he gently touched her underwear again, stroking it softly with one finger. Ikuno gasped and pulled away successfully, making a leap for the door.

She couldn’t do this again...not again…please…not this-

He grabbed her by the waist and threw her towards the bed. She crashed into the wooden bedpost, and lay on the mattress, clutching her shoulder. Mitsuru slowly locked the door before turning her over onto her back, and climbing on top of her. Ikuno’s eyes widened with fear.

“Pl-please...Mitsuru...no…” 

“Don’t make me fight you, Ikuno.” He said in a low voice, pulling her uniform apart at the chest. She squeaked and turned her head away, her face burning.  She pushed against his chest, forcing him away from her. Her shoulder screamed with pain, and she blinked back tears.

“Get off!!”

“Shh…” He pushed his hand over her mouth, muffling her screams, and started to touch her. She screamed in panic, her body shaking. She pulled together every last piece of energy she had, and drew her knees up to meet Mitsuru in the groin. He grunted and reeled backwards, leaning against Zorome’s bunk. Ikuno lunged forward and pulled the door open, throwing herself out into the corridor. She pulled her sleeves up her body, and clumsily staggered towards the girl’s dorm, her body flooding with adrenaline.

“IKUNO!!” She heard Mitsuru’s angered screaming from the room behind her.

“NO!” She screamed in terror, pulling open the heavy door of the room that she shared with the squad leader. Slamming it shut behind her, she locked it, and lay against the thick wood, panting. She screamed as the sound of relentless hammering on the wood echoed through the room.

“OPEN THIS DOOR, IKUNO!”

“N-NO! PLEASE! LEAVE ME ALONE!” The girl sobbed, her hands shaking violently. “PLEASE!”

“OPEN THE DOOR!” A loud banging echoed through the room as the boy threw himself at the door. Ikuno curled up, drawing her knees up to her chest, and squeezed her eyes shut, waiting for it to stop, tears streaming down her face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> mwah


	7. Chapter 7

Ichigo zipped up her uniform, wiping the sweat from her face. The mission had been a success, and they had taken down the klaxosaur, admittedly with a little difficulty without the assistance of the purple FRANXX. A hand on her shoulder made her start and turn. 

“Ichigo?” Ichigo relaxed slightly. 

“Hey Kokoro.” She clipped her hair up. “What’s up?” Kokoro unbraided her hair and shifted nervously.

“D-do you hate me?” Ichigo froze, her hands on the hairclip. 

“Wh..what?” Kokoro shrugged. 

“After what I’ve done to Ikuno. I know how you feel about her. And I know how she feels about you. You two are very close...and...when I saw what the switch back had done to her...I figured-” 

“Oh! No..no no no...Kokoro no…” Ichigo put her hand on the girl’s shoulder. “I don’t hate you. No. This isn’t your fault.” The girl relaxed, breathing a sigh of relief. 

“Oh..thank you…” 

“But I am worried about Ikuno. I wish there was some way we could help her.” Kokoro frowned. 

“Is there a problem with her? I thought Nana fixed her.” The two girls left the changing room and began to walk towards the elevator. 

“No. She’s okay. It’s just the strain of piloting. She can’t handle it.” Ichigo crossed her arms. “It’s nothing we can fix.” She sighed deeply. 

“Maybe Ikuno needs a break.” Kokoro suggested. “A break from piloting, and from the stress of all this partner swapping.” She paused. “W-we could take her somewhere. Remember when we went to that beach?” Ichigo nodded, interested in the idea the girl was proposing. “We could ask Nana to go back there. Or, if we can’t do that, we could just spend the day in the forest by the lake. Something relaxing.” Ichigo nodded encouragingly. 

“Yeah...yeah...that’s a really good idea!” The door slid shut and the elevator began to rise. “I’ll ask her as soon as I can.” Kokoro fiddled with her hair nervously. Noticing this, Ichigo frowned. “There’s something else bothering you. Isn’t there?” Kokoro blushed and shrugged. 

“Maybe.” 

“You can tell me.” Ichigo said reassuringly, holding onto the girl’s hand. 

“Ichigo...I think Mitsuru is making things hard for Ikuno on purpose.” Ichigo paled. 

“Wh-what?” 

“When we connected, I saw his thoughts. Most of them, if not all of them, were about Ikuno.” She looked away. “It’s one of the reasons I accepted the swap back so easily.” 

“What were the thoughts?” Ichigo asked sharply. Kokoro shrugged. The door slid open, and the two girls headed back towards the house, their shoes crunching over the fallen leaves. 

“He was convinced there was something wrong with her. I-I think. He…” She shook her head. “I didn’t understand them. He- he was very confused. I don’t know what he thinks of her, but I know from some of them...I got a strong feeling of anger...and...and fear.” 

“Fear of?” 

“Ikuno. I guess.” A morbid silence dropped on the pair. 

“Why would he be scared of  _ Ikuno _ ?” Ichigo whispered. “Does he know something we don’t?” Kokoro shrugged. 

“I don’t know.” Ichigo trembled slightly. Kokoro took her by the hands gently. 

“It’s okay.” She nodded encouragingly. Ichigo nodded back. 

“Yeah. You’re right.” She shook her head. “It’s probably just nothing.” 

  
  


Ikuno inhaled slowly, and she wrung her hands over each other nervously. Ichigo would be back any moment. She had planned it all out. She would tell her everything. She would tell Nana. Nana would fix it all…

Her head snapped up as the stairs creaked. She felt her pulse quicken as the shadow of the boy appeared in the doorway. He peeked into the living room, and raised one eyebrow. Ikuno leaped up from the sofa instinctively, one hand gripping her zip tightly. 

“What?” 

“KEEP AWAY!” Ikuno frantically reached for the back of the sofa, her eyes not leaving the boy. Mitsuru scoffed. 

“Please. I’m over that. Besides, Ichigo will be back any moment, right?” Ikuno surveyed him cautiously. 

“What do you want?” She asked slowly, her grip on her zip relaxing. He was right. If he had wanted to come after her again, he would have done it by now. She relaxed, and straightened up. He entered the room, and approached her. Ikuno felt the adrenaline shoot through her body again, and she backed up , hitting her hip against the table. “Ow!” 

Mitsuru gripped her wrist tightly. She gazed up at him in fear, her other hand firmly gripping her hip at the site of her injury. 

“I suppose, you’re going to tell Ichigo about what I did to you.” Ikuno swallowed hard and straightened up again, squaring up to him, putting on the bravest face she could muster.

“You know it.” He scowled. 

“I see.” 

“You can’t stop me.” She snapped. “You can do whatever you want to me, but you won’t be able to stop me.” Mitsuru gently held her chin in his hand. 

“Is that an invitation?” 

“Back off!” She snapped again, pulling against him. He scoffed. 

“Such a loud roar for such a little mouse.” Ikuno scowled, breathing deeply to steady her racing heart. 

“What do you want from me?” 

“I want silence. I want you to do what you do best, and keep those lips of yours tightly together.” He traced her lips gently with his finger. Ikuno pulled her head away, shaking it in disbelief. He was mad...she he expected her to just...keep quiet about this?  

“You’re insane!” Mitsuru spun her around and encased her in his arms, pinning her arms to her sides. “GET OFF!” She shrieked in panic, her eyes filling with tears again, her body starting to tremble. He kissed her on the neck gently, rocking with her back and forth slowly. 

“Okay. I see. Well, Ikuno. I was expecting you not to go along with this.” She squirmed, her eyes scanning the outside for any glance of the returning squad. “So, how about this. I’ll make a deal with you.” Ikuno froze. 

“A d-deal?” He nodded, moving towards the sofa. 

“You, keep quiet about this.” He sat down, seating her on his lap. “You don’t tell a soul, and you pretend it never happened.” Ikuno tried to stand up and break away, but he gripped her tightly, securing her in place. She turned to face him, tears running down her face, her face twisted with anger and fear. 

“And what will you do for me?” 

“I’ll keep our other little secret.” Ikuno frowned in confusion. Mitsuru smirked, twisting Ikuno’s arms behind her back. “The little...defection. It’d be a shame if Ichigo found out, don’t you think?” Ikuno gasped as the idea clicked. 

“You wouldn’t.” 

“Oh, I think I would.” Mitsuru said gleefully. “You’ve been keeping this secret for what? Five, six years?”

“Eight.” Ikuno spat through gritted teeth. He shrugged. 

“Eight then. I’d send it all up in smoke. God knows what Nana, Hachi, or even Papa would do if they found out.” Ikuno paled. The boy continued, ignoring this. “Would they send you away? Who knows. Would you ever see Ichigo again?? Who knows. You’d definitely not pilot again, that’s for sure.” He shrugged again. “And you know, there’s no use for anyone like that in this. I’m keeping you safe. You need me. And don’t even get me started on Ichigo!” Ikuno hung her head. He was right. She didn’t want to be sent away. She didn’t want to never see Ichigo again. What would they do to her? Would they erase her completely? She wasn’t sure. Her body flooded with fear as the memories of her yellow blood cell injection came rushing back. She didn’t want to go through that again. Anything but that…

And what  _ about  _ Ichigo? 

What if she hated her? What if she was disgusted by her? Ikuno felt a single tear slide down her cheek. What if Ichigo never wanted to see her again?

She had no choice.

“I see.” She whispered. He smiled, a winning smile, a triumphant smile. 

“So…”

“You win.” She croaked. “Just please...don’t tell Ichigo…” He released her wrists and wiped her tears. 

“I won’t. As long as you hold up your end of the deal.” Ikuno nodded. 

“I promise.” He kissed her gently on the cheek. She grimaced and tensed up. 

“Good.” The two sat in silence, the situation resting on their shoulders, until the door creaked, indicating Ichigo’s return. Mitsuru released the girl, who got to her feet shakily. She glanced at him worriedly. “Not a word.” He put his finger to his lips. She swallowed and nodded, her face flushing with shame. 

  
  


“Eat something.” Ichigo suggested gently. Ikuno shook her head politely and smiled weakly. The girl sighed and began to spoon pasta into her mouth, stealing glances at the thin girl from time to time. 

Ikuno tensed up as her stomach growled. She inhaled sharply and looked at the food in front of her, placing a hand over her stomach. 

“Eat.” Kokoro encouraged her. “I know you’re upset because you couldn’t pilot today, but there will be other chances!” The girl said lightly, smiling comfortingly. Sighing, Ikuno picked up the fork slowly and speared a single piece of pasta, bringing it to her lips. Slowly chewing, she glanced down the table at her stony faced partner, who raised his glass and tilted it towards her in a mock toast. Ikuno felt herself retch. The sight of him was enough to bring all the trauma of the day flooding back. She got to her feet hastily and ran out of the room, clutching her stomach. 

She barely made it to the toilet before she retched again and vomited, coughing and panting. Once she had finished, she lay slumped against the toilet bowl, her body shaking. The door slid open and an anxious looking Ichigo poked her head into the bathroom. 

“Kuno?” 

“...ugh…” 

“What’s wrong?” 

“I want to die.” The words escaped Ikuno’s mouth before she could stop them. She didn’t feel worthy of living. She didn’t feel worthy of anything. She was a disgrace. A weak, useless disgrace. Ichigo put a hand on her back in alarm. 

“What??” 

“I...I want to lie down.” Ikuno repeated hastily. Despite the words of comfort from her friend, she still hesitated to burden her with the events of the day. She still blushed with shame whenever she thought about it. And she couldn’t risk Mitsuru exposing her secret. Ichigo breathed a sigh of relief and stroked her back gently. 

“It’s okay. If you can’t eat now it’s not a problem.” Ikuno got to her knees shakily. 

“My shoulder hurts.” Ikuno observed simply in an attempt to change the subject, the remnant of her collision with the heavy wooden bedpost surfacing and throbbing. Ichigo planted a soft kiss onto it instantly. Ikuno felt her stomach turn. But, it wasn’t the usual feeling of anxiety and excitement that she so often found herself at the mercy of. Now, she felt scared. Very scared. She didn’t want Ichigo to kiss her. She didn’t even want Ichigo to touch her. 

If Mitsuru saw this…

Ikuno stood up and rolled her shoulder a few times. 

“Thanks, Ichigo.” 

“Do you want something for your shoulder?” The girl shook her head in refusal. 

“I can manage.” She smiled weakly. Ichigo reached up and gently cupped Ikuno’s cheek, her thumb stroking the red mark that stuck out like a sore thumb. Ikuno felt her stomach drop. 

“What’s this?” 

“I-I…” 

_ He hit me, Ichigo. He hit me and he kissed me and he did horrible things to me. I didn’t want any of it. I don’t love him...Please, please make him go away…I don’t want to go through this again…I’m so scared...Please... _

“I got it when I hurt my shoulder.” Ikuno hung her head miserably. “I just...fell down outside.” Ichigo frowned for a moment, and then relaxed. 

“Aw, Ikuno...you’re so clumsy!” She smiled, hugging her friend tightly. “Be more careful outside, okay?” Ikuno nodded, turning her face away so Ichigo wouldn’t see her eyes brimming with tears of shame. 

“Okay.” She whispered. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yay blackmail
> 
>  
> 
> i planned it out and im going to go a little selfish next chapter with ikuno/ichigo stuff get ready (:


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im sorry its long and not my best but im sick and feeling very depressed so i write to feel better and it just flowed out

Ikuno opened her eyes sharply, her gaze darting around the bedroom. She was breathing heavily, and her body was drenched in sweat. She propped herself up onto her elbows and looked around. The room was still and silent. Next to her, she could see her roommate’s small body in her bed, her chest rising and falling. She breathed a deep sigh of relief. She had been trapped in her own nightmare, pinned to the bed, as Mitsuru grinned down at her. She had screamed, but no sound had come out...

She sat up and tucked her hair behind her ears. She reached for the glass of water that stood on her bedside table, and sipped it slowly, gasping in between sips. When she had stopped shaking, she swung her legs over the edge of the bed and buried her head in her hands. 

“Mmm...Ikuno?” Ikuno looked up sharply as Ichigo stirred and raised her head. Her eyelids were still droopy with sleep, and she rubbed her eyes groggily. 

“Ichigo…” 

“Mmmf...are you..okay?” She sat up on her elbows, and tucker her bangs behind her ear. Ikuno nodded and smiled. 

“Yeah, yeah. I just had a bad dream.” Ichigo sat up straight and pulled her duvet back. 

“About?” Ikuno shook her head.

“Don’t worry about that. It’s okay. Honestly.” Ichigo got out of her bed and sat next to her friend, wrapping her arms around her shoulders. 

“Talk to me, Kuno.” She rested her head on Ikuno’s shoulder. “I want to help you.” Ikuno sighed deeply. The two girls sat in each other’s arms in silence, Ikuno’s heart thumping in her chest. 

“I just had an accident.” She said after a while. “It wasn’t that bad, I just...didn’t want you to worry.” Ichigo hugged her tighter. 

“I know.” 

“I’m sorry.” 

“I know.” 

 

Then- 

 

“Ikuno?” 

“Yes Ichigo?” 

“You would tell me if something bothered you, right?” Ikuno shifted and looked down at her friend. 

“Yes.” She lied. “Of course. Why do you ask?” 

“I just…” Ichigo sniffed. “I want you to be safe.” Ikuno hugged her friend closer to her, and felt tears form in her own eyes. 

“I know.” 

“If...If Mitsuru...If he does anything to you...You’d tell me...right?” Ikuno tensed up, her body paling. 

“Why would he do anything to me?” She snapped. Ichigo pulled back slightly. 

“I-I don’t know!” 

“Who gave you that idea.” Ikuno muttered, her voice low and stony. Ichigo shuddered. An air of discomfort had descended onto the pair. 

“N-Nobody! I was talking with Kokoro, and-” 

“About me?” Ichigo shrugged awkwardly.  

“I guess.” 

“I see.” Ikuno sighed deeply. Ichigo sighed and hugged her friend into her chest, Ikuno breathing in her scent like they had done in the hospital all those days before. 

“Please be careful.” Ichigo said in a low voice. “I don’t want to lose you. Please. I couldn’t handle it.” Ikuno nodded. 

 

“I know.” 

 

* * *

  
  


Life at the house seemed to return to normal. For the most part. The squad were given a rare day off, and they were determined to make it as fulfilling as possible. 

“Of course, we  _ HAVE  _ to go to the beach!” Zorome cried excitedly, waving his fork at Goro. The bespectacled parasite frowned and looked away distastefully. 

“Although that was fun, I doubt we’d have the same fun again.” Zorome lowered his fork and raised his eyebrows smugly. 

“What’s the matter Goro? Scared you won’t like the  _ view _ ?” He teased, making an obvious reference to the parasite’s eagerness to join in leering at the girls on their last visit. Goro blushed a deep red and his glasses steamed up slightly. 

“Shut up…” He muttered, bringing his hand to the back of his head awkwardly. 

“Anyway, I think the beach would be good!” Zorome continued, leering at Miku from across the room. She scowled and hurled an orange at him, hitting him squarely between the eyes. “Ow!” 

“No.” She snapped irritably. “I thought we were over this. No beach.” The pistils nodded in agreement. Ikuno nodded too, ignoring the lingering thought in her mind. Ichigo had looked awfully nice in her swimsuit. Her pale skin contrasted the white of the swimsuit perfectly...and her body was so nicely toned…. 

“Ikuno?” Ikuno’s head snapped up. She looked at Kokoro calmly. “You’re the one who’s just recovered. You pick what we can do!” The squad nodded in support of this idea. Ikuno felt her body break out in a sweat, the pressure of deciding the day’s antics suddenly falling on her shoulders. 

“Uh…” She pushed her glasses up her nose where they had slipped. “I mean...the beach wasn’t  _ that  _ bad…” Zorome raised his eyebrows expectantly. Ikuno shut her book to allow more room for deciding in her brain. She had wanted to go swimming with Ichigo. She had declined last time due to the feeling of insecurity she had felt in such a revealing outfit around the girl, but this time….this time… 

“We could go to the beach.” She tried again, catching a glance at Miku’s disapproving scowl. “Or…” She added hurriedly, “We could go and just sit in the forest!” Zorome made a mock snoring noise. Ikuno felt her face heat up. 

“Let’s put it to a vote.” Ichigo suggested, smiling encouragingly at her friend. “Those who want to stay here?” The three pistils raised their hands. Ikuno blushed and kept her hand firmly by her side. “Those who want to go back to the beach?” The stamens raised their hands. Zero Two raised her eyebrows and shrugged, raising her hand. Ikuno hesitated, then slowly crept her hand into the air. “Beach it is.” She said, somewhat regretfully. Ikuno glanced at the three stamens. They high-fived in triumph. She glanced at the pistils. Miku was scowling at the boys, her arms crossed. Kokoro was hugging her arms nervously. Ichigo was prodding her breakfast moodily. 

“I’m sorry.” Ikuno said quietly. The three girls looked up at her in surprise. 

“Don’t be sorry.” Ichigo said instantly. She lowered her fork and forced an awkward smile. “It was a vote. The beach won fair and square.” 

“But you-you don’t feel comfortable. It wasn’t right of me-“

“Do you want to go to the beach?” Kokoro asked sincerely, her hand on her friend’s shoulder. Ikuno blushed and nodded. Kokoro’s face cleared. “Then that’s okay. We said we’d do what you want. You need to relax.” Ikuno’s hand drifted to her abdomen, gently tracing the closed wound through her uniform. 

“I guess.” 

* * *

  
  


“Awww YEAH!” Zorome cried, hurtling towards the sea at full speed. He dived into the blue water headfirst, sending water droplets scattering. Miku cried out in disgust, shielding her body from the salty liquid with her hands. Ikuno adjusted the collar of her bathing suit and sighed. She did feel bad that she forced the girls to come on her foolish escapade, but- 

“Ikuno! Come into the water with me!” The girl looked up and felt her legs dissolve into jelly. Ichigo was waving at her from the shore, the lapping tide just covering her ankles. Her two piece bathing suit was clinging to her body, outlining every curve and toned muscle she possessed. Her hair was loose, not clipped back like she usually wore it, and her face seemed to be tinged with a hint of pink. Ikuno swallowed hard. Ichigo looked beautiful. To put it...lightly. She clasped her hands behind her back and began her trek towards the water. She reached her friend, the tide barely reaching her toes. She wiggled her toes, sand sifting through them like powder. Ichigo reached out and took ahold of her wrist. “Come on!” She tugged Ikuno playfully. Ikuno tensed up and edged towards the water. She cried out as the ice cold water splashed over her feet. 

“I-its cold!” Ichigo laughed, her soft giggles filling Ikuno’s heart with happiness. She felt it squeeze with adoration and pure love as the smaller girl smiled up at her excitedly.

“Yeah, a little! Don’t be so picky!” She pulled her friend into the water more. Ikuno inhaled sharply as the cold water rose up to engulf her ankles, her shins, her knees, her thighs, her waist, her-

“Ichigo!!” Ikuno cried in panic, flailing in the water. She gagged as a few drops of the salty solution hit her tongue. Her friend breaststroked up to her and held her by the arms, ceasing her panic. 

“It’s okay. It’s okay! Just…” She began to tread water, her legs kicking rhythmically. “Copy this.” Ikuno clumsily kicked her legs in an effort to stay afloat. She gasped and tilted her head up, the water level rising to her neck. 

“L-like this??” Ichigo nodded encouragingly. 

“Good!” Ikuno beamed, evidently pleased that she had succeeded in impressing her fellow squadmate. Ichigo released her arms gently. “Now try alone!” Ikuno felt the pang of panic within her, but she pushed it down and began to wave her arms in the water, keeping her body near the surface. 

“Uh! Uh! Uh!! Ichigo!!!” Ikuno cried in a rising hysteria, her body starting to sink. Ichigo held onto Ikuno’s wrist again, keeping her near the surface. Ichigo laughed, small waves appearing where her arm was rising and falling in the water. 

“You never were very good at swimming.”

“And you...were always so good…” Ikuno panted, treading water desperately. Ichigo blushed slightly. 

“Yeah...I suppose.” She shrugged off her blush. “Here, let me teach you how to swim properly.” Ikuno’s face lit up, her eyes alight with excitement, and she nodded. 

  
  


“Look at those two.” Miku grumbled moodily, her arms crossed. “Having fun. How can they have  _ fun _ ??” She scowled at the two pistils who were a way out from the shore. Ichigo was far apart from Ikuno, beckoning to her. Ikuno was splashing violently, and moving towards her friend at a snail’s pace. Ichigo was clearly laughing, her eyes closed, one hand to her mouth. 

“I think it’s nice that they’re having fun.” Kokoro commented simply. “I can’t remember the last time I saw Ikuno get this involved with things we do.” Miku swayed slightly, taking Kokoro’s argument on board. She had a point. The usually secluded pistil was now shouting and yelling in excitement, her face filled with life. She shrugged and crossed her arms again, loose hair from her two buns jumping around her face. 

“But that’s not the point!! We said we wouldn’t come to the beach because of… _ them _ .” She glared at Zorome, Futoshi and Goro, who all suddenly distracted themselves with other things, averting their gaze from the two girls seated on the shore. “Disgusting.” She spat. Kokoro sighed. 

“We should just have fun and enjoy our day Miku. Ikuno and Ichigo are doing that and the boys aren’t even giving them a second glance.” Miku relaxed slightly, once again swayed by the convincing points her blonde friend was putting forward. 

“Eeeh...you’re right.” She admitted grumpily, climbing to her feet. She smirked at Kokoro, who cocked her head in confusion. 

“What?” 

“Gotcha!” Miku cried, diving at the girl, and grabbing her around the waist. Kokoro squealed and tried to push her off, blushing and laughing, the sand kicking up around them. 

  
  


“Come on Kuno!! Just one more!!” Ichigo cried encouragingly, her arms out. Ikuno was panting hard, her face twisted into a frown, her body unmoving. “Ikuno?” She asked in alarm, kicking over to her. Ikuno bit her lip in an attempt to stifle her panting, but failed and let out a small gasp of pain. “What’s the matter?” Ichigo asked in alarm. Ikuno shook her head. 

 

“I-I think I need a time out.” She said weakly. Ichigo looked down and felt her stomach drop. Ikuno’s bathing suit was spotted red along her stomach, in a line mirroring that of the incision made during her surgery. She shook her head and turned to her partner, who was attempting to throw Zorome off his inflatable ring. 

“GORO!!!” She screamed as loud as she could. Goro froze and glanced over at her. “ _ GORO!!!! _ ” He immediately started to swim towards them, his arms tearing at the water. “It’s okay, it’s okay Ikuno.” Ikuno’s face had paled, and she gripped Ichigo’s arm tightly. 

“It hurts…” She whimpered, the water lapping up to her chin and obscuring her words. Her legs kicked with less determination, and Ichigo grabbed onto her arms, trying to support her, pulling her towards the surface. Goro reached them, panting, and smoothed back his hair.

“What is it? You can really scream when you want to-“ 

“G-Goro! You have to help me get Ikuno to the beach! She-“ Goro gasped as he saw the red spots through the clear water, the blood bleeding into the fabric of her one piece suit. 

“Okay.” He held Ikuno in his arms in a position he vaguely remembered from his parasite training days, and began to kick towards the shore backwards, ensuring Ikuno’s head was above the water, her loose purple hair splayed out in front of her, dancing in the water. Once he reached the sandy shore, he picked her up in his arms and carried her over to the parasol that they had set up. Mitsuru looked up at them from underneath it, his eyebrow raised. “Mitsuru!” Goro panted.  “C-could you get Ikuno a towel?” The sullen boy pulled a cotton cloth out of the nearby wicker basket and held it out to the taller boy. He set the thin girl down onto the mat, and she hunched forward over her wound. Wrapping the warm towel around her shoulders, Goro knelt down next to her, their bodies dripping. “Does it hurt?” Ikuno nodded. “A lot?” She nodded. “Do you want to go back?” He asked, gesturing to the looming plantation that was visible in the distance. She shook her head. 

“Enjoy your day.” She said weakly. Goro drew back in alarm. 

“But you need medical-“

“I’ll live. I’m fed up of interrupting your days with medical things. Go and have fun.” She said firmly, pulling the towel around herself more. Goro drew back more uncertainly. 

“IKUNO!” Ichigo cried, crawling out of the sea and running over to her, her footsteps flinging up sand in all directions. “Are you-“

“Yeah. Go and enjoy yourself.” She said simply. Ichigo narrowed her eyes, unconvinced. 

“No, I think I’ll sit with you for a little while. I just want to make sure you’re okay.” Ikuno shrugged, her stomach tingling with anxiety and excitement. Ichigo sat down, nudging Ikuno in the lower hip. Ikuno felt her stomach pull, and she shuffled sideways, giving the smaller girl room to sit. Goro sighed. 

“Take care of her, Ikuno.” He joked. Ikuno nodded in affirmation. 

“Sure thing Goro.” He laughed and turned, heading back towards the sea. 

“Come on, Mitsuru!” He called over his shoulder. “Leave the girls alone!” Mitsuru scowled and stood up sharply, sticking his hands deep into the pockets of his jacket, clutching an obscured object. 

“Fine. I have better things to do anyway.” He sauntered away towards the rock pools on the far side of the beach without another word, Ikuno staring after him nervously. 


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is kind of cute kind of sad, but i will warn in advance, the next chapter will involve some form of rape, so if you want to end it here you can

Ikuno glanced over at Ichigo in alarm. The girl had her knees drawn up to her chest, and she was hugging them, shivering slightly. Ikuno hesitated, then wrapped her towel around the girl’s shoulders, tucking it gently around her arms. Ichigo looked up at her in surprise. 

“Thanks.” Ikuno shrugged. 

“No problem.” Ikuno paused, and sneezed, coughing slightly. Ichigo pulled half of the towel off her body, and held it out, indicating for Ikuno to join her. The girl glanced around quickly, scanning the beach for signs of Mitsuru. Upon not locating the boy, she shuffled closer to Ichigo, pressing her hip against the smaller girl’s. Ichigo laughed softly. 

“Come on, Kuno. Come closer!” Ikuno blushed and shuffled even closer, her body pressed against Ichigo’s, two layers of latex between them. She took ahold of the edge of the towel, and pulled it close around her body, encasing the two pistils. After a moment, Ikuno reached out with her other arm, hugging onto Ichigo underneath the towel. Ichigo tensed up, then relaxed, and put her head on Ikuno’s shoulder. Ikuno blushed again, her pulse quickening. This was the closest she’d ever got to the blue haired girl, and here she was, wrapped in her arms, her head nuzzled into the crook of her neck.    
  


“Ichigo…” 

“Hmm?” 

“Do...do you…” Ikuno paused, swallowing her words. “Never mind.” Ichigo shuffled closer to Ikuno, using her free arm to hug around Ikuno’s body. 

“It’s okay.” She said quietly. “Don’t say anything until you feel ready.” Ikuno sighed, and kissed the top of her head gently. The two girls sat in each other’s arms, watching the water ebb and flow against the shore, and listening to the gentle whooshing of the waves. The sun had started to set, casting pale orange and peach light across the shore, and illuminating the girls’ faces. 

“Ikuno.” 

“Yes?” 

“Do you ever get lonely?” Ikuno sighed sadly, her head resting on top of Ichigo’s. 

“All the time.” Ichigo sniffed, her hand finding her friend’s underneath the cotton of the towel. She squeezed it gently, intertwining their fingers. Ikuno sighed again, resisting the urge to kiss Ichigo gently on her lips. Instead, she drew back, and turned Ichigo’s face to look at her gently, her hand on the girl’s chin. “Do you?” Her eyes glinted in the setting sun, and Ichigo found herself at a loss, the girl’s face inches from her own. She had never noticed this about her friend before, but Ikuno looked quite beautiful. Her eyes were slightly larger than normal, matching her face shape perfectly. Each freckle on her face seemed perfectly planned and placed. Her lips were slightly parted, their pinkish colour complimenting her pale skin perfectly. Ichigo reached up and cupped Ikuno’s cheek in her hand. 

“Yes.” Ichigo whispered. Ikuno felt her eyes begin to swim with tears, her thumb tracing Ichigo’s bottom lip, the way Mitsuru had done to her. Ichigo inhaled sharply, her heart racing. Girls were supposed to love boys...weren’t they? So why...why did she feel that familiar pang in her chest when she gazed into the girl’s eyes? Why did her skin seem to burn where she touched her? 

Ikuno moved her face closer to Ichigo’s,  tilting her head slightly. Ichigo moved her face closer too, entranced by the glimmering tears in her friend’s emerald eyes. Ikuno’s heart was pounding. Her lips were only a few centimeters from Ichigo’s, a few millimeters, a few-

 

“Hey! Ichigo!” Ikuno drew back sharply, her face burning a bright red. Ichigo looked over at Goro, who was waving at her from the edge of the shore. “We’re going to the town again! Do you want to come?” Ichigo’s face lit up.

“Sure! Okay!” She playfully grabbed Ikuno’s nose. “Come with us Kuno!” Ikuno shook her head, burying it in her knees. 

“You can go. I’m okay.” Ichigo’s face fell. 

“Please?” 

“Come on!” Goro indicated to the rest of the squad, who were disappearing into the foliage. Ichigo nodded in affirmation, climbing to her feet. 

“If you need me, you’ll call me, right?” Ikuno nodded, smiling softly. 

“Off you go. Have fun.” Ichigo nodded, hesitantly letting go of her friend’s hand. As she headed into the foliage, she glanced back over her shoulder. Ikuno was staring out to sea, the towel wrapped around her body, slipping off one of her shoulders. 

* * *

Ichigo picked her way carefully back through the jungle of a forest, avoiding the various jagged rocks and protruding tree roots. The squad’s second visit back to the town had been a bit more entertaining than their first, with the discovery of several shops, some of them still stocked. 

To Ichigo’s elation, they had come across a bookshop, some of the battered paperbacks scattered on the floor, other stacked on shelves. This was exactly what she had been looking for. Something else to cheer up her melancholy friend. She had set to work, shuffling through the books to pick suitable ones, as the rest of the squad had filled their day with exploring. She now, in her arms, carried 6 stacked books, handpicked for her friend, their covers and pages worn with time. 

The ground beneath their feet became grainy and coarse, indicating their approach back to the beach. Ichigo leaped the final few steps of the forest, her feet sinking into the soft sand. She skipped excitedly back across the long stretch of bay, her eyes peeled for the parasol they had set up. 

Ichigo paused, her face cracking into a soft smile. Ikuno was lying on her side in the twilight, using the towel as a makeshift blanket. The blue light of the moon was reflecting off of the tears in her eyes, illuminating her thin body rising and falling. She set down the books, and gently shook Ikuno’s shoulder, waking her up. Ikuno’s eyes fluttered open groggily. She sniffed, the few tears in her eyes slipping down her face. 

“Hey Ichigo.” Ichigo wiped the remaining tear from the girl’s cheek. “How was it?” 

“Good, good.” She nodded, smiling. “Hey, we’re all going to start a fire. Want to join us?” Ikuno shook her head. 

“Sleepy…” She muttered, her eyes slowly shutting. Ichigo smiled and pulled the towel around her shoulders, tucking her friend in. 

“Okay. I’ll wake you when we’re ready. Just relax.” 

* * *

The fire crackled and spat, the orange embers lighting up the squad with an orange glow. Miku and Zorome were roasting marshmallows, marvelling at the gooey sweetness of the snack. Futoshi was also roasting a marshmallow, Kokoro laughing softly as the sugar blackened before his eyes. Zero Two was swimming still, Hiro seated on the shore watching her silently, his hair blowing in the slight breeze. Mitsuru was already in his sleeping bag, his eyes shut. Goro handed Ichigo a mug of steaming liquid, smiling gently. She took it, and smiled back at him, cupping her hands around it. 

“It’s dark, right?” Ichigo nodded, blowing on the milk drink to cool it. 

“It’s nice.” She sipped at it slowly. “I feel like we’re normal kids for once. No fighting, no Klaxosaurs.” Goro nodded knowingly. 

“It is nice.” He sipped at his own drink. “Do you ever wonder what our lives would have been like if we lived...back then?” Ichigo shrugged. 

“Sometimes.” She sipped at the milk again. “I don’t know what would be different.” Goro sighed. 

“We’d have families, I guess. Real Papas. One each. Maybe even a cat each. No Plantations. We’d have a Mistilteinn each to live in. Maybe we’d even have siblings.” He pushed his glasses up his nose. “It’s surreal to think about.” Ichigo stared at him. She wasn’t used to seeing this cynical, analysing side of her partner. Now that he mentioned it, it  _ was _ surreal to think about. She stared into her cup, her own reflection staring back at her. She glanced at Ikuno, who was still curled up, the towel around her shoulders. What would her life be like if they’d lived back then? No piloting strain, no stress, no pressure to pilot perfectly. Ichigo sighed, and took another drink from her mug, her gaze shifting to the flames of the fire. 

 

Ikuno’s eyes snapped open, her breathing frantic. She’d had the same nightmare again. It was becoming more frequent, but that didn’t stop it from striking fear into her heart. Rolling over, she sat up and looked around. The fire had dwindled to a single smoking group of embers, the purple smoke slowly rising into the air. The squad were in their sleeping bags, sleeping soundly. She sighed, and stood up, pulling the damp towel around her shoulders. 

She felt the cold air on her face, causing her to shiver. Swallowing hard, she turned, and started to walk towards the edge of the water, her feet sinking into the sand. 

Mitsuru watched her quietly from his sleeping bag, his eyes narrowed, Kokoro’s book stashed inside his jacket pocket. 

* * *

Ichigo glanced over at Ikuno, who was fast asleep inside her sleeping bag, the top of her head visible, her glasses reflecting the rising sun. She slowly walked over to her and leant down, stroking her hair. 

“Hey.” Ikuno opened one eye slowly. “I brought you something.” Ichigo was holding several books in her arms, slightly charred and worn. Ikuno sat up sharply, her eyes wide and sparkling. 

“You!! Where did you get those!!” Ichigo winked. 

“Don’t ask, and I won’t tell.” Ikuno excitedly grabbed the first one from the pile and flicked it open. Her face fell. “What’s wrong?” 

“I-It’s in English.” She said slowly. “I...don’t quite understand English fluently just yet.” Ichigo set down the books and opened the next one on the pile. 

“They’re all in English!” She cried in dismay. Ikuno smiled. 

“It’s okay. I can manage.” Ichigo looked away. 

“I think it’s super impressive that you can even read English.” Ikuno raised one eyebrow and blushed slightly. 

“ I can speak it too.” Ichigo gaped at her. “I can speak it too.” Ikuno translated. Ichigo laughed and set the book down on the mat. 

“You’re so smart Kuno.” Ichigo said softly. Ikuno blushed harder. “Enjoy your books. I’ll bring you some hot milk later.” Ikuno nodded, opening the book again, instantly beginning to lose herself in the pages. 

 

Ikuno spent the entire day seated on the beach, engrossed in the story that Ichigo had gifted to her. She loved to lose herself in the pages of these books, envisioning the characters coming to life around her. There was a slight language barrier, but she overcame it with pure willpower and guesswork. The past two days had been the best she could remember, spending time with Ichigo, and getting closer to her. She hadn’t even thought about the threat that Mitsuru had made to her, even though it hung over her head like a black cloud. The thought that she had almost kissed her filled her heart with excitement, and her mood felt light and airy. 

She looked up as the girl approached her, carrying a steaming mug. 

“Hey bookworm.” Ichigo set the mug down, and sat down next to her. “How’s the story?” Ikuno looked at her, her eyes glinting with excitement. 

“It’s amazing.” She gushed. “The story is beautiful; I can’t wait to see how it ends.” Ichigo leaned forward, her head on her hands. 

“Tell me about it.” Ikuno straightened up, and tucked her hair behind her ear. 

“Well, there is a girl, and a boy.” Ichigo nodded. “And they both have...a disease...I think?” Ichigo’s face fell. 

“A disease? Is it serious?” Ikuno nodded earnestly. 

“The girl can’t breathe on her own.” Ichigo drew back a little. “And the boy has one leg.” Ichigo shook her head in horror, shocked at the idea of the depressive content she had bestowed on her friend. “But,” Ikuno continued, her expression dreamy, “They meet, almost like it’s fate, and they fall in love.” Ichigo smiled. She loved to see her friend like this. Lost in her own world. Happy. Content. “They do so many wonderful things together. He takes her to another land, and they have an entire week like we did at the beach.” She sighed wistfully, pushing her glasses up her nose. “I haven’t reached the end, but I know how I want it to end.” Ichigo nodded encouragingly. Ikuno blushed. “I-I want the girl to get better, and stay with him forever. I want them to be happy, and never have anything sad happen to them.” Ichigo felt her cheeks fill with colour. Ikuno was truly the most compassionate girl she had ever seen. She cared so much, for everyone. Even if they weren’t real. 

Sighing, she took the book from her friend’s grasp, and held out the mug. 

“Drink. I know if you’ll tip it out the window.” She winked. Ikuno nodded. 

“Yes Nana.” She sipped the warm milk gently, warming her hands on the ceramic, the soft fuzzyness not leaving her body.

* * *

The squad had been allowed a prolonged stay at the beach due to the lack of klaxosaurs detected in the area. The setting of the sun now marked the second day that they had spent away from their floating home, and the children were  _ elated _ at the freedom they had been given. 

“Marshmallows for supper!!” Zorome cried excitedly, holding up the bag. This was met by a buzz of excitement and wonder at the boy’s scandalous idea. Ichigo scowled and snatched it from him, placing it by her side. 

“No. Don’t be ridiculous. We have fish. That’s supper.” Zorome sank back to his seat, scowling, with his arms crossed, muttering incomprehensible curses at his leader. Ichigo smirked and held out a fish speared on a stick. “Bon Appetit.” He snatched the stick from her and stared the lifeless animal in its glassy eyes. He sighed sadly. “Grow up!” She chided, handing out sticks to the other children. Pausing, Goro held his fish in his hand, and turned to the girl who was wrapped in a towel, her back to the group. 

“Ikuno?” He called. The girl turned slowly, the setting sun flashing off her glasses. He held up the fish. “Supper?” She shook her head politely and turned away again, losing herself in the book. 

“Is Ikuno coming?” Ichigo asked, her focus directed on pushing a fish onto the stake. Goro shook his head. 

“No.” Ichigo’s head snapped up angrily, and she scowled at the girl. 

“That girl…” She muttered, still attempting to push the fish onto the wood, “She’s so stubborn! I hope she realises she needs food to live, or-  **_OUCH_ ** !!!” Ichigo screamed and released the stake and fish, which both fell to the sand, followed by large drops of blood. Ichigo gripped her wrist tightly with her hand, a long cut ran along her palm, already oozing blood. Ikuno’s head snapped around in alarm. Goro got to his feet instantly. The rest of the squad leant forward, on edge, unsure of what to do. 

“Ichigo? What do you want us to do?” Hiro asked nervously. Ichigo shrugged, her eyes streaming tears, her hand shaking. Goro pulled her to her feet. 

“I’ll take her back to the plantation.”

“I’ll come too.” Hiro insisted, supporting Ichigo’s arm. Goro nodded. 

“We won’t be long.” The three parasites started to walk back towards their home. Ikuno sprang to her feet and started forwards. 

“No, Ikuno.” Ichigo snapped through gritted teeth. “You just, stay here.” Ikuno paused. 

“But-“

“Stay. It’s your fault this happened anyway. Why can’t you just be like everyone else?” She snapped angrily. Ikuno felt her stomach drop. She gazed after the small girl, who was slowly walking away without a second glance. She felt nausea rise up inside of her. Ichigo was mad at her. She blamed her. This was her fault. Futoshi glanced at her worriedly. The girl was swaying slightly, almost like she was about to faint, and her face had paled considerably. 

“Ikuno-“ Ikuno turned and ran, tears stinging her eyes. “IKUNO!!” Ignoring Futoshi’s cries, she continued to run towards the opposite end of the bay, her feet slipping over the sand. She had hurt Ichigo, she had done that, she had-

The image of Ichigo’s bloodied hand flashed in front of her eyes. 

“NO!” She screamed tripping and falling against the sand, grunting in pain. Panting, she righted herself, and glanced up. She was surrounded by rock pools of different sizes, the black rocks contrasting to the white sand. Mitsuru was sat on the edge of the nearest one, staring at her, one eyebrow raised. Ikuno felt herself blush. Great. Just what she needed. More humiliation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ichigo snapped


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ! trigger warning ! 
> 
> I didn't want to go too in depth with this. I know it's a pivotal point in the story but I couldn't bring myself to do it. Sorry whoops

“Don’t say anything.” She snapped, standing up and dusting herself down. He shrugged, pocketing an object. 

“I wasn’t going to.” She hugged her elbows ashamedly. “Is Ichigo ok?” Ikuno glared at him, her face darkening with colour. 

“None of your business.” She looked around. “What are you doing here?” 

“Reading. I need some quiet. I thought you of all people would understand that.” Ikuno nodded slowly. 

“What are you reading?” Mitsuru shrugged. 

“A little educational material.” She raised one eyebrow cynically. 

“Education? You?” She scoffed. He laughed lightly. 

“Shocking I know.” He started as his communication device beeped from inside his pocket. He fished it out and flicked it open, the orange screen illuminating his face in the gathering darkness. “Oh.” He shut it, and pocketed it again. 

“What?” She asked nervously. 

“That was Nana. She said since we’re coming back tomorrow morning anyway, she’s keeping Ichigo in with her tonight. She won’t be coming back to the beach.” Ikuno felt her stomach drop out of her body completely. She had done that…  

“A shame, really.” He shrugged. “Oh well.” He shifted his seating position, and smoothed back his hair. “If you don’t mind,” He gestured to Ikuno to leave. “I want to keep  _ educating _ myself.” Ikuno nodded and turned away, sighing. She had to go back. Maybe she could even finish her own book. Either way, she needed something to distract herself until tomorrow morning. 

She started to walk towards the cliff edge, adjusting her glasses, looking down at her feet. 

Then she felt him grab her from behind. 

She screamed in panic and grabbed at her face, where Mitsuru’s hand was clamped over her mouth. She felt her feet stumble backwards, slipping over the soft sand as he pulled her back towards him. 

“HELP!!” She cried in desperation, “SOMEONE HELP ME! PLEASE!” She felt Mitsuru grab her around the waist and throw her to the ground. She winced as her shoulder struck rock, and her breathing caught in her throat. “GET OFF!!  **HELP!!** ” She flailed her arms in front of her blindly. She froze as she felt strong hands grip her wrists. 

“Don’t fight me, Ikuno.” Mitsuru’s voice was close to her ear, making her jump. She felt her arms be pinned above her head, and she realised with a sickening jolt that her swimsuit was pulled down to her waist. She felt his lips on her neck, and his breath tickled her skin. She started to sob, twisting her head away. This felt different to the previous time. She felt a fear expand deep within her stomach, filling her body with dread. She tried to push him off and kick him away, but her body felt like lead, and she struggled to move.

 

Mitsuru had overpowered her completely. 

 

And she was terrified. 

 

He had caught her off guard, the one time she had turned her back to him, and let her guard down.

 

She should have known better.

 

This was her fault.

  
  


Mitsuru glared down at the trembling girl, tears running down her face. 

 

“Don’t cry.” He wiped her face gently. Ikuno sobbed and swallowed hard. “Shhh. Come on. Don’t cry. It messes up your pretty face.” Ikuno turned her head away. “I want to see you Ikuno. Look at me. I want to look at you when you learn this.” Ikuno shook her head, letting out several sobs. He pulled on her chin, forcing her to look up at him. She grimaced and pulled against him. He kissed her on the lips gently, Ikuno’s eyes snapping open as she felt his tongue flick over hers. She felt herself tear up anew as the disgust and shame overwhelmed her body. 

Mitsuru pulled her swimsuit down to her knees and sighed. Ikuno stared up at the sky, focusing on the twinkling stars, in an effort to envision herself anywhere but where she was. She could be, back with Ichigo at the Plantation, helping her dress her hand, apologising to her, making amends with her, after the perfect days they’ve been having, she could- 

Ikuno froze as she felt Mitsuru start to touch her. 

“W-what are you doing??!!” She shrieked in panic, craning her neck to stare at him fearfully. He looked up at her, and raised one eyebrow. Ikuno twisted her body and tried to shut her legs, put he pried them apart and placed his hand in between them again. Ikuno was mortified. “NO!” She screamed, her breath catching in her throat as she felt his fingers touching her. His hand was placed over her mouth again, and she bit her lip and squeezed her eyes shut. It did feel...a little good. No, it felt more than a little good. She mentally kicked herself, horrified that part of her was finding any pleasure in what he was doing. How could she? He was just using her! He didn’t want to make her feel nice…

Ikuno let out an involuntary gasp, her face filling with colour. Mitsuru glanced up at her, still not withdrawing his hand. He leant over the girl and kissed her on the neck again. Ikuno clenched her hands into fists, grabbing at the sand, the grains sifting through her grip.  

“Ikuno.” She gasped in response, words failing her. “I want you to know, I hate you. You know that, right?” Ikuno nodded, tears starting to roll down her face. “You disgust me. The way you are; it disgusts me.” Ikuno clenched her teeth and let out a cry of pain as she felt a new feeling build up inside of her. “And,” The boy paused and glanced down at her face. “This is your fault. The way you are. It’s a crime against nature, the way we live, everything we fight for. You’re a stain.” He leant close to her ear and whispered softly. “But I can fix you, if you let me.” He gently bit at her neck, and kissed the nape of it softly. Ikuno cried out, her eyes wide, and she grabbed at the boy, her body tensing up, the feeling rushing out of her. She lay back onto the sand, panting, her chest rising and falling. Her arms fell limply to the sand. She stared up at the sky, her eyes wide, and filled with tears. Mitsuru nodded and positioned himself above her, one fist by her head. Ikuno trembled and blinked, her large eyes moving to the boy’s face. 

“Please...don’t…” She whispered, her voice faint and distant. Mitsuru glanced at the book he had left on the side of the rock pool and sighed, smiling coldly. His hand moved to cover her mouth, and she shut her eyes, accepting that there was nothing that could stop him now. Pleading and begging did nothing. Fighting did nothing. She took a deep breath, and turned her head away, tears falling from the corners of her eyes. 

 

They jolted open again, staring without seeing, as a ripping pain tore through her body. 

* * *

“I’ll see you later.” Mitsuru said flaty, pocketing the book and heading towards the gap in the cliff face. Ikuno sniffed, but remained spread eagled on her back, staring at the sky. He rolled his eyes. “Nobody said this would be easy. Just stop playing the victim. You deserved that.” She sniffed again, her silent tears falling down her face. “You know that, right?” She nodded slowly. “Good.” He scoffed. “I’ll see you later.” His footsteps faded away, leaving the girl alone. Her throat burned, and her body felt weak and painful. There was a stinging pain between her legs which she couldn't shake, and her face stung.

She lay alone for several minutes in the dark, in shock, in denial, that something like this could ever happen to her. She knew girl’s and boy’s bodies were different...but...for what purpose? Surely not this. This was too painful...too indecent… 

She gathered her remaining strength and rolled over onto her side. Her body screamed with pain in response, and she gasped, her breathing hitching with sobs. Curling up into a fetal position, she covered her face with her hands, and cried herself into a fitful sleep.

* * *

 

“We should head back.” Futoshi suggested, rolling up his sleeping bag. Zorome nodded in affirmation, picking up his small bag, filled with clothes, and the rest of the marshmallow packs. 

“Have you seen Zero Two?” He asked, shading his eyes from the sun and looking out to sea. Futoshi shook his head. 

“She went back last night. She gets bored without Hiro.” Zorome nodded knowingly. 

“Gotcha.” He turned to the two Pistils who were seated on the shore. “Oi! Miku! Get over here and pick up your stuff!” The red headed girl stomped to her feet and huffed. The blonde girl watched her anxiously, her bag already slung over her shoulder. 

“Have you seen Ikuno, Mitsuru?” Futoshi asked casually, glancing at the boy. The sullen faced stamen shrugged and turned back to rolling up his sleeping bag. “Did she come back last night at all?” The boy asked again, his worry rising. 

“Do I look like I know!?” Mitsuru snapped angrily. “I’m not her babysitter.” Futoshi frowned. This wasn’t like Ikuno. If she was to go somewhere alone, she’d almost certainly come back at some point, even to sleep. He picked up his bag. 

“I’m worried about her.” Pulling out his communication device from his bag, he pressed the picture of the dark haired Pistil, and awaited her response.

 

Several miles away, on Ikuno’s bedside table, her communication device started to beep. 

Ichigo glanced at it in alarm. She picked it up gingerly off the table, wincing as her wounded hand stung with pain. She frowned at the sight of the caller. Flicking the screen open, she placed it to her ear nervously. 

“H-hello?”

“Ikuno? Where are you!?”

“No...n-no...Futoshi...It’s Ichigo.” 

“Ichigo?” He paused. “Oh boy..” 

“What do you mean ‘ _ where are you _ ?’” The girl cried in alarm. “Where’s Ikuno?” 

“She...she...ran off after you left.” Futoshi admitted glumly. Ichigo felt her heart stop. 

“L-last night?” 

“Yeah.” 

“And she’s not back?”

“Uh…”

“Futoshi!” 

“N-No. No, she’s not.” He laughed weakly. “She’s not with you, is she?” Ichigo shook her head, her mouth suddenly dry.

“No.” 

“I see.”

“Futoshi-”

“I’ll go and send everyone to look for her again. If we don’t find her-” 

“If you  _ don’t _ ???” The girl snapped in alarm. 

“I’ll update you.” Futoshi shut the communicator, sighing. He turned to the four parasites, who were watching him nervously. “We need to go and look for Ikuno. Ichigo answered the call, and she’s not with her either. Everyone spread out and scan the beach.” They nodded, obliging. 

 

Ikuno opened her eyes slowly. Strands from her hair were strung over her face, obscuring some of her vision. She sniffed, feeling grains of sand stuck to her face. Someone was shaking her shoulder. She groaned, and turned her head weakly to look up. Mitsuru scowled down at her. 

“Ikuno.” 

“Wh-what?!” She wailed in fear, covering her face with her arms. 

“Ugh.” He stood up, dusting himself down “Get up. Everyone is looking for you.” She stayed still, her eyes frozen wide with fear. “Or.” He shrugged. “Stay here. I don’t care.” 

“Is that how you feel?” She whispered, her voice cracking. “You don’t care? You don’t care about me? How I feel? Am I just a toy to you?” He scowled, his eyes narrowing. 

“Shut up.” He kicked her in the hands that covered her face. She squealed and curled up tighter. “Stay here then. I don’t care.” He repeated firmly, turning on his heel and stalking away.   
  


 

“Mitsuru!” Futoshi called, waving at him. “Did you find her?” Mitsuru shook his head. Futoshi’s face dropped. “O-oh.” He turned to the other three children, who shrugged. He sighed deeply. “We...we better go back and tell Nana. She could be in serious trouble.”

 

 

“Ikuno!” Futoshi cried in relief as the front doors opened, and the girl stepped into the house shakily. She did not look at him, but continued to walk up the stairs, her gaze blank. Futoshi frowned. It had been worrying enough when they had packed up that morning, only to find the girl was missing, with no signs of returning. It had been worrying enough when they had been forced to return to the Plantation without her, and report her missing, which had sent Ichigo into a frenzy of panic and guilt induced tears. It had been worrying enough to hear that Nana had sent a squad of Adults to search for the girl, and had found her unconscious on the shore, her face covered in marks, and her shoulder bleeding from where it had been struck. 

And now Ikuno was acting like this.

He rested his hand on the wooden banister, gazing after her worriedly. Even though they weren’t partners anymore, he still felt an urge to protect the girl. Connecting with her the few times they had, he knew Ikuno was different to the rest of the Parasites. She had different interests, different wants. He didn’t mind this. She was a quiet girl with quiet needs. It didn’t interrupt her day to day living.

And for that, Futoshi was grateful. 

The last thing he wanted was for her to be punished for something she couldn’t control.

 

 

Ikuno sighed and pulled off her swimsuit. She held it up, and felt her stomach drop. It was stained red at the crotch, blood seeping into the fabric. She pushed down her anxiety and nausea, and balled up the suit, throwing it to the side. Stepping into the bath, she sighed and let the warm water encase her body, soothing her skin. She paused, and cupped her hands under the water, bringing some up and splashing it over her face. She gasped as her face stung anew, and she clenched her fists.

Her head snapped up as a knock on the door rang through the tiled room. 

“Ikuno?” Ichigo’s voice. Ikuno felt her body flood with dread. She stood up sharply, water dripping from her body into the bath. “Ikuno!” Ichigo knocked again. Ikuno edged towards the door, wrapping her towel around her body. She opened the door a crack, and looked through the gap in between the door and the wall. Ichigo’s anxious face stared back at her, her green eyes lit up. 

“I-Ichigo.” 

“Ikuno! You’re back! I’m so glad!! A-Are you okay?” Ikuno nodded and tried to shut the door again. “Wait!” Ichigo put her foot in between the gap, forcing the door to stay open. 

“What.” 

“Ikuno...I-I’m sorry about what I said. I was mad. I...I didn’t mean it. Please forgive me.” Ikuno felt her eyes fill with tears. Ichigo’s apology was too late. Too late. If she’d known...she wouldn’t have run… 

“I see.” She pushed the door shut, and leant against it, breathing heavily. On the other side of the door, Ichigo was also leaning against the wood, her body shaking with tears.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1 like = 1 Ichikuno prayer
> 
>  
> 
> also yes Futoshi is like a big brother I'd let him protect me


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ikuno's first night after everything where the guilt sets in 
> 
> aka 
> 
> suicide attempt #1
> 
>  
> 
> a relatively small chapter but it marks the changing of events so the next chapter will be a timeskip

Ichigo opened the door to the bedroom she shared with her friend. She glanced at the girl’s body, rising and falling, occasionally hitching with sobs. 

“Ikuno?” She edged in, and put her hand on Ikuno’s shoulder. The girl inhaled sharply, but did not turn around. “Kuno?” Ikuno remained silent, staring at the wall, tears streaming down her face. “Ikuno...please. I’m sorry. I am. What I said. I-I was scared. I didn’t mean it.” Ichigo glanced down at her bandaged hand, and clenched her fist. “Please forgive me.” Ikuno sobbed, her soft voice breaking mid sob. Ichigo felt her heart sink. “I missed you at dinner.” Ikuno nodded shortly. “A-are you hungry?” Ikuno remained silent. “I-I see. I’m sorry.” She withdrew her hand, and sighed. “I’m sorry.” She whispered again, turning away, guilt burning inside her stomach. 

Ikuno stared at the wall. She felt numb inside. Mitsuru was right. She was a disgrace. She was faulty. A mistake. She sniffed and squeezed her eyes shut. She didn’t ask to be that way, but what Mitsuru had done to her certainly hadn’t helped matters. What could she do for herself? She didn’t know. She was at a loss. 

Ikuno felt her stomach twist. 

She  _ was  _ a mistake. And she had to fix the mess she had made.

And suddenly, the answer to everything was right in front of her. 

  
  


Ichigo lay in bed, her eyes wide open, staring at the ceiling. She glanced at the clock that hung on the wall above the dresser the two girls shared. 2:28am. Ish. She sighed, and rolled over to face the wall. Was it the guilt keeping her awake? Was it the worry? Was it…

Her stomach pulled. 

Was it love?

She felt herself start to sweat. Pulling the duvet up to her chin, she sighed again. She loved Hiro. That much she knew. Whenever she saw him, her heart fluttered, and she felt wobbly and fuzzy inside. Now...whenever she saw Ikuno, she felt...the same? Whenever she saw Ikuno in pain, she felt like she wanted to cry with her. Whenever she saw Ikuno happy, her heart soared. She thought about when Ikuno had been swimming with her. Her eyes had been lit up with happiness and excitement. Her laugh had been music to the girl’s ears. Her face had seemed...so happy.

Ichigo’s stomach flipped as she thought of the two girls, sitting under her towel, their bodies pressed together. Would they have kissed? She touched her lips with her fingertips. What would it have been like? She knew how kissing a boy felt, even though it hadn’t worked. Would it be the same kissing a girl? Was that even allowed? She squeezed her eyes tightly together, trying to block out the swirling questions in her head. She felt more confused now than ever. 

A creaking in the bed behind her made her freeze up. She held her breath as the sound of her roommate walking across the room broke the silence. The door creaked open, then clicked shut. Ichigo sat up in alarm, glancing at her friend’s bed, the covers dishevelled. 

 

Edging along the corridor, she used the skirting on the walls to guide her way. She glanced around, trying to locate her friend. Was she sleepwalking? If so, what if she fell down the stairs? What if she hurt herself? 

“Ikuno?” She whispered as loud as she could, heading to the top of the stairs. “Ikuno!” She heard a faint door shut down the corridor leading to the highest floor of the house. She turned and ran up the stairs, the cold air stinging her legs. Reaching the top floor, she turned a corner and slammed straight into a figure, causing it to cry out in disapproval.

“Ichigo.” 

“Z-Zero Two!” She rubbed her shoulder where she had collided with the klaxosaur girl’s strong frame.

“What are you doing in my part of the house?” She snapped, her horns glinting in the moonlight. “I thought you put me up here so you  _ wouldn’t  _ have to see me.” Ichigo looked away, her face burning. 

“I...yeah.” She shook her head. “What are you doing up?” The tall girl shrugged. 

“I don’t need to sleep. Like I don’t need to eat. I just do it because it’s fun, and passes the time.” Ichigo blinked once in surprise. She didn’t know that. It explained a lot, although the unnatural aspect of the girl’s nature frightened her a little. 

“Right..Uh…” 

“Hey, did you hear that sound?” The girl asked, raising one eyebrow cynically. “It sounded like someone else was up here, slamming doors.” Ichigo felt her stomach drop.

“Ikuno…” She whispered. 

“What?” 

“U-uh...I think it was Ikuno. She went walking, I think she might be sleepwalking.” She glanced around. “What other rooms are there up here?” Zero Two shrugged. 

“Apart from mine, not a lot. There’s a random storage room, with nothing in it. And…” She turned around to face the other door. Her cyan eyes lit up in alarm and fear, and she tilted her head, as if she was listening out for something. “...Come with me!” She grabbed Ichigo by the wrist and pulled her towards the door sharply. 

The two girls burst into the empty room. The window was open, the lace curtains flapping in the breeze. 

“Zero Two...I...I don’t-” 

“Hold on!” The girl ran straight for the window, pulling the leader after her. 

“ZERO TWO!” Ichigo cried in alarm, resisting the girl’s pull. The horned girl leaped out the window, propelling herself upwards onto the roof of the house. Ichigo screamed and shut her eyes, expecting to fall. They snapped open again as her bare feet hit the tiles of the roof.

“I-Ichigo!” Zero Two’s voice was filled with alarm, urgency, and fear. Ichigo’s eyes opened, and she felt her world fall apart for the second time that day.    
  


 

Ikuno was standing on the edge of the roof, her arms spread out at her sides. Her night shirt was flowing in the breeze. Her dark hair was flicking around her face. She leaned forward on her toes, only balancing on the very edge of the roof. Ichigo felt Zero Two’s grip on her wrist tighten. Her body felt numb. She opened her mouth to scream, but she couldn’t find it inside her. Her breath caught in her throat. Her hands shook. Her eyes filled with tears. She fell to her knees, and watched as her roommate, her squadmate, her best friend, leaned forward, and fell, spread eagled, over the edge of the roof, and out of sight. 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

 

 

Ikuno gasped as the collar of her nightgown caught her throat. She coughed, and blinked. She wasn’t falling. Why wasn’t she falling? She looked up slowly, and was met with a flurry of pink hair, blowing in the wind. The horned girl grunted, and pulled Ikuno up by the back of her nightshirt, onto the slate tiles of the roof. Ikuno lay on her back, coughing, her vision blurry. She felt hands on her face, tilting her head back, allowing more air to flow into her body. She heard muffled shouting, muffled crying. More hands on her face. Hands on her chest, pushing down hard rhythmically. Water...tears?...rain?..falling onto her face from above. Ikuno let out a final elongated breath, and let her body succumb to the darkness.

Ichigo watched as Ikuno let out a long exhale, and her eyes closed, her head falling to the side.

“Ikuno??  **IKUNO!!!!!!** ” She screamed in panic, putting her ear to the parasite’s chest. To her relief, the thumping of her heart answered her. She drew back, and held onto Ikuno’s face, her own wet with tears. “Kuno...Kuno please...wake up!!” She shook the girl gently. “Wake up!!” Ikuno remained still, her eyes shut, her mouth slightly open. “Ikuno…” She mumbled, her voice thick with sobs. Zero Two pushed the leader out of the way, and paused.  She pressed two fingers against Ikuno’s nose, holding it shut. “NO!!” Ichigo cried.

“Shut it.” The klaxosaur girl snapped. “Calm down. She’s not going to die.” Ikuno’s body jerked upwards, and her eyes flew open. She coughed hard, and lay back onto the tiled roof, panting, her eyes half closed. 

“KUNO!!!” Ichigo held onto the girl’s hand. Ikuno looked up at her weakly. “Ikuno…”

“Ich…” She paused, her eyes shutting. “I’m…I’m s...sorry…” She breathed, her voice hoarse. Ichigo burst into tears. Zero Two rolled her eyes. 

“What were you DOING???” She cried angrily through her sobs. “Don’t you know, if you’d fallen, you might have DIED???” Ikuno looked away. 

“I know.” She said quietly. Ichigo paled. 

“Y-you do?” Ikuno nodded. “Wh…” She wiped her eyes. “You wanted...you wanted to die???” She breathed, her face twisted in denial. Ichigo felt her heart break in two as Ikuno nodded. 

“Maybe.” 

“No…Please no…” Ichigo murmured, pressing Ikuno’s hand to her lips. “Please no…please…” 

“I’m sorry…Ichigo…” Ikuno breathed, her vision beginning to swim. “Please...d…don’t cry…don’t…” She felt her hand slip out of Ichigo’s, and she fell back into the darkness. 

  
  


“What do you think we should do?” Ichigo asked nervously, watching the pink haired girl lower Ikuno into her bed. She shrugged. 

“Do I look like I know?” She snapped. After a moment, her face softened. “I...I guess you should lock the door from now on. It honestly looks like she was sleepwalking.” 

“B-but she said-” 

“Never mind that.” Zero Two snapped angrily, her face hardening again. “Just keep her out of my part of the house. It’s bad enough you keep me away from my Darling. I don’t need you coming into my space.” She turned and headed towards the door. 

“Z-Zero Two?” The girl paused.

“What.” Ichigo blushed.

“Thank you.” Zero Two felt a blush creep up on her neck. 

“It’s whatever.” She left, shutting the door behind her. Ichigo paused, and ran to the door, locking it. She glanced at Ikuno. The girl was sleeping softly. Ichigo intertwined her fingers nervously. Did Ikuno mean what she had said? The thought that someone  _ wanted _ to die was foreign to her. She didn’t like it.

 

Especially if it was coming from Ikuno. 

 

The cool bedsheets soothed her heated body, and Ichigo hugged her stuffed cat tightly to her chest. She felt tears well up in her eyes at the thought of what might have been if she hadn’t been on the roof with Zero Two. Would she still have been lying here, oblivious to the fact that her friend had just ended her own life? Would she have got up that morning, only to find her bed empty and her seat at the table vacant? Would she-

Her stomach turned.

Would she have gone out to find the cat, only to find her friend’s lifeless body lying on the grass, the grass stained with blood? 

Ichigo hugged the cat to her face, the fabric absorbing her tears. She couldn’t sleep with her back to her friend. She would never let Ikuno out of her sight again. That much she knew.

 

Ikuno shifted slightly in her sleep. She groaned, and her eyes opened slightly. She felt a body pressed against her own, an arm around her chest. Her eyes snapped open in panic. 

“N-NO! DON’T!!” The arm withdrew and Ikuno rolled over in alarm, only to find herself face to face with the blue haired pistil. 

“Kuno.” 

“O-oh...Ichigo…” She sniffed and pulled her nightgown over her shoulder more. “I thought you were someone else.” Ichigo sighed, her face dropping. “Is something the matter?” Ichigo hugged Ikuno close to her, burying her face in her chest. “Ichigo!” 

“Did you mean what you said?” The girl whispered. Ikuno hesitantly started to stroke her hair soothingly. 

“What I said?” 

“That you didn’t care if you died?” Ikuno tensed up. “Ikuno?” 

“I…” 

“Because I don’t want you to!” Ichigo cried, her body shaking with sobs. “I...I don’t want you to leave me! A-and...and...I don’t want you to go! I care!” She pulled the girl closer to her, her small arms wrapping around the girl’s thin torso. “I care!!” She cried again. Ikuno hushed her gently. “No!” She sobbed. “I don’t want to lose you, Kuno! I can’t!” She coughed. “I...I can’t…” Ikuno gently wiped her cheeks. 

“I’m here now. I’m here now.” 

“I know.” Ichigo stroked the red marks and small cuts on Ikuno’s face. “And...promise me you always will be, okay?” Ikuno looked away. “Ikuno?” Ichigo looked at Ikuno’s face properly for the first time since the close moment they had shared on the beach. Her eyes seemed slightly sunken, and she had dark circles underneath them. Her freckles seemed to stick out on her pale skin, and her mouth drooped slightly at the corners. “Ikuno.” Ikuno sighed. 

“I don’t want to make a promise I can’t keep. Especially to you.” Ichigo bit her lip, stifling her sobs.

“That’s okay.” She forced a smile. “You just tell me when you’re ready. I’ll be here for you forever. You know that right?” Ikuno pulled the girl close to her, her chin resting on the top of Ichigo’s head. 

“I know. Go to sleep Ichigo. I promise I’ll tell you when I’m ready.” Ichigo sighed. Ikuno may have said that, but there was an empty underlying tone in her voice indicating she didn’t mean it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> will it be ikuno x ichigo end game 
> 
>  
> 
> or futoshi x ikuno 
> 
> or maybe i played you all and its mitsuru x ikuno 
> 
> the world will never know


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm getting back into a flow with this story..I hope it's noticeable as the chapter goes on
> 
> also the idea of it snowing inside the plantation came to me in a dream 
> 
> like
> 
> if they can make it rain if it gets cold enough it should turn into snow 
> 
> right?

Ikuno knew how to take her time. Almost a month had passed since her botched suicide attempt, and she still remained as reclusive as ever. Ichigo had never brought it up again, figuring mentally that since her friend hadn’t mentioned it, it would be better if she didn’t either. 

 

Some things were best forgotten.    
  


In truth, Ikuno was tired. Very tired. The past month had been an intense mental struggle. Four aspects of her life had changed, and every day, she had to try and count them, to maintain some form of stability in her life. Every time she awoke, she had to convince herself that it was worth getting up, that she would benefit in some way. Every time she ate, she had to convince herself that it was worth it, that she needed to eat to survive. 

Every time she piloted, she had to convince Mitsuru that she was readily accepting this new dynamic of partnership. 

He knew she wasn’t the way he wanted, after everything that had happened. 

So he had to keep trying. 

 

Mitsuru slowly stroked Ikuno between her legs. Her breathing deepened, and she grabbed the boy behind her desperately, gritting her teeth.

“Hey, Ikuno.” Ikuno opened her eyes a fraction. “You know, tomorrow we get our presents from Papa.” She nodded, her head tilting back. “I was wondering,” He kissed her neck gently. “If you wanted to…”

“No.” She snapped through gritted teeth. He scowled and spun her around, grabbing her shoulders tightly. Ikuno winced as several bruised ribs shot pain through her body.

“No?” He asked softly. She flinched. 

“N-no...I-I won’t let you.” Mitsuru scowled, and Ikuno felt her stomach drop.

He grabbed her forcefully by the hair and forced her to the bed. Ikuno stifled her screams, a flaring bruise on her back reminding her that it wasn’t worth it. He pinned her down, and scowled. Ikuno flinched and turned her head away, waiting for the blow. 

Even though she expected it, the pain shooting through her face caught her off guard. She squealed and clapped her hands to her cheek, tears escaping her eyes.    
  


The fourth thing, which Ikuno found the hardest, was bearing the physical abuse that Mitsuru was inflicting onto her body. 

 

He stood up and adjusted his uniform, stalking out of the room. Ikuno sniffed. It had been like this more often as of late. Mitsuru would come to her room, touch her, feel her, make her feel like an object rather than his partner, and hurt her.  Ikuno winced and prodded the bruise just below her left eye, where he had hit her a few days before. She pushed herself into a sitting position and rubbed her face. 

It was okay.

 

She supposed.

 

 

She  _ did _ deserve it, after all. 

  
  


The next day came, and the children were ecstatic to see the pile of presents laid out for them on the carpet of their living room. As usual, Zorome assumed leadership, picking up the first brightly wrapped box from the top of the pile. 

“Uhh...okay! Ichigo!” He threw the box at the leader, who caught it, scowling. 

“Careful!!” She snapped, inspecting the box. “I don’t know what’s in here!” The boy groaned irritably. 

“Nobody does.” He picked up the next, slightly larger box. “Futoshi!” Futoshi smiled broadly, and caught the box, shaking it carefully.

 

Zorome sat down onto the carpet, his own gift clutched in his hands. The air was filled with sounds of ripping and tearing as the children opened their gifts. Zero Two watched them carefully from the doorway. She glanced at Ikuno. The girl’s present lay, unopened, in her lap. She was staring into space with a strange expression on her face. After a pause, she set the gift down onto the floor. 

“Ikuno?” Futoshi asked gently. “Aren’t you going to open your present?” Ikuno shook her head. 

“I don’t deserve a present from Papa.” She said firmly. The squad looked up in shock. 

“Of course you do!” Hiro insisted, his book clutched in his hands. “You’re a part of our team!” Ikuno shrugged. 

“You fight klaxosaurs as much as any of us!” Zorome added.

“And our squad wouldn’t be the same without you!” Goro piped up. Ikuno looked away. 

“I don’t deserve it.” She repeated. “Zero Two can have mine. She doesn’t have a present, and she’s better than me in every way.” The klaxosaur girl raised one eyebrow. Ikuno held out the box to her. “Here.” The girl took it hesitantly. Ikuno stood up. “Excuse me.” She left the room without another word, her footsteps fading up the stairs. 

“Hey…” Futoshi asked in a hushed voice. “Is anyone else noticing-“

“Ikuno acting strange? All of us have.” Goro confirmed worriedly. “Although she won’t speak to any of us about it.” Zero Two turned the box over in her hands. 

“Let me talk to her.” She stood up sharply. Ichigo mirrored her actions. “Alone.” Ichigo frowned, but then relaxed and nodded. 

“Take care of her.” Zero Two nodded in affirmation. 

 

Ikuno sat on her bed. She looked at the insides of her forearms. The skin was perfect, untouched by a bruise or freckle, and she could see the blue veins slightly underneath. Pausing, she ran her fingernails down the inside of her left arm, leaving faint white scratches. She felt strangely soothed. She pressed harder, the scratch deepening. It stung slightly. She smiled. It felt good for her to make herself feel pain. Pain that she deserved.

 

She pulled her sleeve over her raw skin as the door opened. 

“Zero Two.” 

“Ikuno-“

“You can have the present. I really, really don’t want it.” 

“Fine.” The girl said indifferently. “But that’s not why I’m here.” She took a seat next to Ikuno, setting the box down beside her. 

“Why are you here.” Ikuno asked flatly, not looking at her visitor. 

“I want to talk about  _ you _ .” Ikuno looked up. 

“What about me?” 

“Something is bothering you.” Ikuno shook her head. Zero Two pulled a smug face. “You may be the smartest parasite, but I’m not that stupid.” Ikuno blushed slightly, and looked down at her hands. 

“Nothing is bothering me. I would tell you.” Zero Two crossed her arms. “I would!” She insisted. Zero Two sighed. 

“I’m here. Ichigo is here. You can tell us anything. You know that right?” Ikuno nodded. She paused. 

“Actually. I have a question for you.” Zero Two looked up in surprise. 

“For me?” She nodded. 

“I don’t want Ichigo to know. I-It’s…”  She covered her face in shame, her cheeks a bright red. 

“I see.” Zero Two nodded. “Ask me anything.”

“What comes after a kiss?” The klaxosaur girl froze. 

“After a kiss?” Ikuno nodded. “W-well...You don’t have to just kiss on the lips.” The girl tilted her head and placed her finger to her chin in thought. “It can be more than that...if the partners want it to be. You can touch each other in places you normally wouldn't.” Ikuno looked up. 

“What if they don’t...both...want it?” Her hands slipped over each other nervously. 

“Usually it doesn’t work very well then.” The girl replied with an air of indifference. “It’s not a  _ complete _ special bond with your Darling if you don’t both want it.” 

“B-but it’s a bond?” The girl nodded. 

“It’s still a bond. A kiss is for someone you will stay with forever.” Ikuno looked out of the window at the trees, their branches slowly rustling in the wind. 

“I see.” 

* * *

 

“I need to tell you something.” Mitsuru raised one eyebrow at the girl. She adjusted her bodysuit and sighed. 

“What?” 

“I...You kissed me.” He nodded. “A-and you...you touched me in places that are…” 

“Indecent?” He suggested. Ikuno nodded.

“You’ve been inside of me, and you broken a part inside of me.” 

He shrugged. “Can’t be helped.” She looked away. 

“Either way...we have a bond now.” He raised one eyebrow. “A-and…” She trailed off. 

“You’re willing to try and make this work.” She bit her lip and nodded. Surprised, Mitsuru smirked. “I knew you’d come around.” He pulled her close to him and tucked her hair behind her ear. She looked away, her face burning. He kissed her sharply on the cheek. “Perfect.”

* * *

 

Ikuno lay in bed, shivering slightly. The bedsheets were cold against her skin, and her legs trembled. She had rolled her pyjama top up to her neck, the cold fabric soothing her bruised torso. Whenever she breathed too deeply, her chest ached, and she found it hard to catch her breath. 

Her last piloting mission had been nothing short of a disaster.    
  


> _ “IKUNO!” Mitsuru yelled angrily, pulling on the controls. Ikuno cried out in pain, and caused Chlorophytum to swerve sideways. The flailing limb of the klaxosaur caught the FRANXX’s long, stick like legs, flinging it across the ground. Ikuno screamed in fear and pain and clenched her fists. Mitsuru lunged forward, his head snapping onto his chest. The FRANXX got up almost instantly, dusting itself down. _
> 
> _ “That was close!” Zorome snapped over the radio. “Wake up, Mitsuru!”  _
> 
> _ “Don’t blame me.” The boy snapped angrily. Ikuno panted and glanced up in fear. She felt sweat run down her face. She had mucked up. This was her fault. _
> 
> __
> 
> _ She grunted in pain as Mitsuru threw her against the wall of the cockpit. Slipping to the floor, she clutched her shoulder and sobbed. He rounded on her, and kicked her hard in the chest. Ikuno felt her ribs scream with pain, and she let out a cry of distress.  _
> 
> _ “P-please! I’m sorry!”  _
> 
> _ “You’re not sorry.” Mitsuru snapped, kicking her again. Ikuno felt a shooting pain run up her ribcage.  _
> 
> _ “I...I…NO!” She screamed as he kicked her again. Ikuno coughed, lost for breath. Her chest was on fire, and her throat burned. Her vision blurred. She reached out and frantically grabbed at the floor, trying to pull herself away. He raised one eyebrow and scowled, pulling her to her feet. She gasped for air, tears trickling down her face. “P-please…” She gasped out, her hands limply holding onto his. Mitsuru scowled, and narrowed his eyes.  _
> 
> _ “You need to be punished for what you did.” He shook his head. “Bad girls need to be punished.” Ikuno sobbed and went limp, seconds before his fist slammed into her right eye socket.  _

 

Ikuno touched her right eye softly. It was bruised a dark purple, almost matching that of her hair. Ichigo had not been suspicious, due to the accident the FRANXX had had during the mission. 

 

Mitsuru had gotten away with it again.

 

And it tore her up inside. 

 

“Ikuno?” The girl rolled over in the dark, and gazed at her roommate in the dark blue room, her green eyes glinting in the moonlight. 

“Hey, Ichi.” 

“Can’t sleep?” Ikuno shook her head. Ichigo smiled and hugged the black cat plushie tighter. “Me either. It’s cold.” Ikuno nodded, sitting up and wincing. Ichigo felt her stomach fill with butterflies. Ikuno’s blackened eye stuck out like a sore thumb on the girl’s face. Her eye was slightly swollen, and her face was slightly reddened. She watched the girl stand up slowly, and limp to the window, pushing it open. “Kuno??” 

“I...I just want to see how cold it is outside.” Ikuno said slowly, stretching her hand outside the window. Ichigo felt a twinge of fear at the sight of her friend leaning out of a window, and she leaped up, wrapping her arms around Ikuno’s waist, pulling her away. “Ichigo!” 

“No! You know why I have to do this!” Ikuno froze. Her hand lowered slowly to her side. Her head lowered onto her chest. 

“That day...on the roof.” Ichigo nodded, pressing her face into the girl’s back. “You  _ were _ there… I thought I dreamt it.” She turned to face the shorter girl, her eyes swimming with tears. “I made you cry.” She whispered. Ichigo shook her head.

“Because I was worried about you!” Ikuno sighed sadly, her breathing hitching, and letting out a grunt of pain. Her hands flew to her ribs. Ichigo drew back in alarm. After a moment, Ikuno lowered her hands, and she resumed her breathing. Her face relaxed. 

“Hehe…” She laughed weakly. “Ouch.” Ichigo held onto Ikuno’s hands. 

“Sit down. Please.” Ikuno limped to her bed, and gasped as she fell to the mattress. 

“I-it’s cold outside, huh?” Ichigo nodded. “Coldest I’ve ever felt.” Ichigo wrapped her arms around her friend instantly. Ikuno froze. “Ichigo?” Ichigo said nothing, her head buried in the crook of Ikuno’s neck. “Ichi?” 

“I’m sorry.” Ichigo mumbled. Ikuno stroked the girl’s back slowly. 

“Sorry?” 

“I-I’m sorry. I don’t like to see you in pain. These past few months…” She drew back and stared into Ikuno’s eyes, her own filled with sadness and tears. “...Have been hell for me.” She pressed her forehead against Ikuno’s. “I’ve been so worried about you. It just...Every time you get better...And I think you’re getting better…” She looked away. The first few tears dripped from her cheeks onto the bedsheets. “...You get worse…” She sniffed sadly. “...And I don’t know what to do.” Ikuno held her hand out. Ichigo pushed her own into the girl’s palm. Turning it over, Ikuno traced the scar that ran across Ichigo’s palm with her thumb. 

“Don’t worry…” She whispered. “You don’t need to worry. I promise...I’ll be okay.” She breathed slowly. She could kiss Ichigo now. It was the perfect time. Her face was centimeters from her own. The cold air swirled around their bodies. She reached up and wiped the girl’s tears. Bringing her face closer to the girl, she felt Ichigo’s breath tickle her lips. Ichigo slowly started to shut her eyes and tilted her head. Ikuno moved her head closer, and her eyes drifted shut too. Her heart skipped a beat. This was it...this was-

“Ikuno! Look!” Ikuno opened her eyes. Ichigo was staring at the window, her eyes alight. Small white flakes were drifting in through the window, fluttering to the floor, and vanishing. Ichigo swiped at them, catching one on her knuckles. “Ooh! It’s cold!” Ikuno pushed herself to her feet (with difficulty) and limped back over to the window. A flake of the strange precipitation landed on her nose, causing her to shiver. 

“Wh-what is it?” Ichigo rubbed the water residue between her thumb and index finger.  

“It’s rain!” She observed. “But...different. It turns back into rain; look!” Ikuno looked at the dark spots of moisture the flakes had left on their wooden floor. Ikuno sighed, condensation from her breath swirling out in front of her. 

“It’s beautiful.” She whispered. Ichigo nodded.

“It really is.” Ikuno reached out of the window, her feet lifting onto their tips. Ichigo stood up sharply, but relaxed as she saw her friend withdraw, pulling the window shut behind her. 

“Better to keep it shut.” Ichigo nodded again. Ikuno limped back to her bed. Ichigo felt a lump form in her throat. As of about a week ago, Ikuno had started to walk with a noticeable limp. Nobody knew where it had come from, and she had brushed it off as the result of a training accident when she was confronted. Mitsuru had shrugged when Ichigo had rounded on him about it.    
  


> _ “What do you mean _ ‘you can’t help it’ _?!” The boy shrugged.  _
> 
> _ “Nobody said piloting a FRANXX was safe.” Ichigo scowled, her hands forming into fists. She glanced at Ikuno, who was seated on the sofa, nursing a slightly swollen leg.  _
> 
> _ “You better keep her safe. Or I swear to God, Mitsuru...I’ll kill you.” Mitsuru raised one eyebrow.  _
> 
> _ “ _ You’ll  _ kill  _ me?? _ ”  He shut his eyes and laughed. “Now  _ that _ I’d like to see.”  _   
>    
> 

Ikuno winced and pulled the duvet back over her body. She glanced at the girl, who was watching her with a strange expression on her face. 

“You okay?” Ichigo blinked and shook her head, regaining her senses. 

“Uh...yeah! Yeah. Uh-huh!” She stood up and walked to the side of her bed. “Ikuno…” She paused. Ikuno nodded. “C…” She clenched her fists. “Can I sleep next to you?” Ikuno’s eyes widened in surprise. She nodded and shifted herself towards the wall, pulling the duvet open invitingly.   
  
  


> _ “Are you kidding me??” Mitsuru snapped at the trembling girl. She backed up against the wall of the training cockpit, and held her hand out in defence.  _
> 
> _ “N-No! I-“ _
> 
> _ “Is piloting a joke to you??”  _
> 
> _ “No!”  _
> 
> _ “Then DO IT RIGHT!!” Mitsuru snapped, kicking Ikuno’s left knee inwards. She fell to the floor, biting down hard on her bottom lip to stifle the screams. She felt the metallic taste of blood in her mouth, and her leg burst with pain. Opening her eyes a fraction, she saw her leg was already swollen, the throbbing pain burning into her mind.  _
> 
> _ “Ah….aah….”  _
> 
> _ “You’ll be lucky if that isn't broken.” Mitsuru said flatly. “And if it’s not, make this a lesson.” He left the cockpit, leaving the girl sobbing on the floor, her body twitching with pain. _
> 
>  

Ichigo sighed with relief, and grabbed the cat from her bed. 

“The cat’s coming too?” Ikuno asked sarcastically, raising one eyebrow as the smaller girl climbed into the bed next to her. Ichigo blushed slightly. 

“I-I don’t want him to be alone.” She mumbled. “He might get lonely and cold.” Ikuno felt herself well up at the sight of Ichigo’s childlike innocence. She didn’t know of what came after kisses, or what touching between your legs can do...or what a boy going inside of a girl is like. She nodded, a sad smile on her face. 

“Better to keep him here with us then.” Ichigo nodded, hugging the stuffed animal close to her chest. “Does he have a name?” Ichigo blinked in surprise. 

“Name the cat?” Ikuno nodded. 

“We have names, why can’t he?” Ichigo paused, mulling the idea over in her mind. 

“Okay. You name him.” Ikuno raised her eyebrows. 

“Me?” 

“Uh-huh. Hiro named me, and I named you, so now it’s your turn.” The girl smiled slyly. She held out the cat. “Take him.” Ikuno took the stuffed toy from her friend and turned it over in her hands. She tried to think hard of a name, a name that meant something deep to her, and would befit something that Ichigo held so close to her heart. Her mind clicked, and she smiled softly. 

“I’ll name him...Augustus.” Ichigo cocked her head. 

“Augustus? Is that foreign?” Ikuno nodded. 

“It's from the book you gave me at the beach. The boy with one leg.” Ichigo nodded knowingly. 

“I see.” She took the cat back and hugged it tightly. “Did you finish the book?” Ikuno shook her head. 

“I-I think I left it at the beach.” She confessed sadly. Ichigo gasped. “Ichigo, I’m sorry!-“ 

“No no! It’s okay!” She paused to think, her green eyes narrowing. After a moment, she relaxed. “It’s okay.” She repeated. “Don’t worry.” Ikuno nodded warily. Ichigo shuffled closer to the girl, her head resting on Ikuno’s chest. After a moment’s hesitation, Ikuno wrapped her arm around the girl, pulling her closer. Ichigo drew her legs up into a fetal position, and sighed happily. Ikuno rested her chin on the top of Ichigo’s head, and gently stroked her hair. The heat radiating off of the two girls was enough to heat Ikuno’s bed sufficiently, and after a few minutes, the girls fell asleep in each other’s arms, the snow drifting down outside their window. 


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Christmas themed chapter 
> 
> aka snowday and gay

“WAKE UP!!!” A voice screamed from the corridor. “WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP!!!” Faint banging on the walls, on the door of the room next to the girls. Then- 

“ZOROME!! I’LL KILL YOU!! ITS EIGHT AM!!!” 

“Come on Miku!! LOOK OUTSIDE!!!” Running footsteps banging down towards the room the girls shared. Banging on the door of their room. Ikuno shrieked and sat up sharply, flinching and grabbing her ribs as they shot pain through her. Ichigo squealed and slipped off the mattress onto the floor, the stuffed cat following her. “OI!!! WAKE UP!!” Ichigo ruffled her hair and stormed to the door, yanking it open. 

“WHAT!?” She snapped angrily, her eyes glinting. Zorome smirked and pointed to their steamed up window. 

“Look! Papa made a new kind of present for us!!!” He took off down the corridor, his footsteps fading away. “Oi! Futoshi!! Are you up yet???”    
  


Ichigo turned and slowly walked to the window, rubbing a gap in the condensation with her hand. Her eyes widened and her face cracked into a large smile. 

“IKUNO! LOOK!!” She turned to her friend and her smile faded. “I-Ikuno?” Ikuno was bent double on the bed, her breathing making a strange wheezing sound. Her eyes were squeezed shut, and tears dripped onto the bedsheets. 

“I-I’m okay..” She gasped. “I…” She massaged her torso gently. “It’s okay…” She inhaled sharply and sat up. “What is it you want to show me?” She asked through a forced smile. Ichigo shook her head and resumed her excited stance. 

“O-Outside!!!!” Ikuno groaned internally at the thought of having to move her battered body, but flung the duvet back and pushed herself to her feet. Ichigo held onto her arm protectively, helping her stand on her feet. 

“Thanks.” She limped to the window, and her mouth dropped open in surprise and delight.

 

The entirety of the ground was covered in white. Flakes slowly drifted down from the sky, adding to the pale blanket. Every tree, bush, and blade of grass was completely shrouded in it, making the inside of their floating home look like a snowglobe. 

“It...it’s beautiful…” Ikuno whispered, a lump forming in her throat. Ichigo hugged her friend’s arm tightly, and rested her head on Ikuno’s shoulder. 

"It is.” Ikuno felt her stomach twist, and she intertwined her fingers with Ichigo’s.

* * *

 

"ITS COLD!” Miku shrieked as a snowball hit her squarely in the face. “ZOROME!!” The boy cackled and ran behind a tree, another ball encased in his hands. “COME HERE YOU F-” 

“Isn’t this cool?” Goro leaned into Ichigo’s ear, blocking out the obscenities that their squadmate was hurling. She jumped and tucked her hair behind her ear, blushing.

“Y-yeah!” She held out her hand and looked at the sky, the flakes melting on her palm. “Hiro said it used to be like this outside the Garden, but we never got to see it ourselves. I think it’s magical.” Goro glanced down at the long pale scar that ran across the girl’s hand. He sighed. No matter what happened, Ichigo would always have eyes for Hiro. Nobody else would ever take that spot in her eyes. He held out his hand too, the water drops tingling slightly as they formed.

“Hmph.”

* * *

 

Ikuno looked up from the book she was reading. Ichigo and Goro were hand in hand, running through the snow covered grass. Miku, Zorome, Kokoro, Futoshi and Zero Two were having a snowball fight. Ikuno cocked her head. She’d never been in a snowball fight, but the sight of her squadmates running away shrieking while the Klaxosaur girl pelted them with snow didn’t quite seem to fit her perception. Hiro had gone to the lake to see if the water had frozen over, and Mitsuru was still in his bed. She clapped the book shut and sighed. She had wanted to spend more time with Ichigo after their encounter the previous night, but now she guessed that wasn’t possible. And the last thing she wanted was to get hurt outside. Her body ached too much as it was. That morning, she had felt a stabbing pain in her chest, which had felt like it was coming from...underneath her ribs. Pushing down her panic, she had smiled at Ichigo, and encouraged the girl’s enthusiasm. 

 

But now she was worried. 

Glancing up at the sound of footsteps, she lowered her head as Mitsuru entered the room. By now, she had learned that the best way to avoid getting hurt was to let him do as he wanted. He took a seat opposite her, and slouched back on the sofa. 

“M-Mitsuru?” 

“Yes?” He raised one eyebrow. 

“I-I…” She winced. “I’m scared. I think there might be something wrong with me...inside.” He crossed his arms, unconvinced. “I...I think that...I might have broken something important.” She took a deep breath. “It hurts to walk, it hurts to breathe, it hurts to laugh. It’s not normal to-” 

“So...you’re acknowledging what’s normal and what isn’t?” Ikuno gaped at the boy’s level of apathy. He shrugged. “That’s rich coming from you.” She looked away, her eyes brimming with tears. “How can  _ you _ say what’s normal and what isn’t? I mean, look at you!” Ikuno sniffed. “You’re still broken, after everything I’ve tried. And your ‘victim’ card is beginning to tick me off. A lot. The other guys are noticing how you’re acting.” Ikuno clenched her fists. 

“BECAUSE MAYBE I NEED HELP!” She screamed, her patience running dry. “MAYBE I CAN’T WALK PROPERLY ANYMORE BECAUSE OF YOU! MAYBE I CAN’T-” 

Ikuno gasped as Mitsuru was by her side in an instant, his hand smacking her across the face. Her glasses flew off and hit the table, falling to the floor. 

For a long time, they remained frozen, Mitsuru’s hand raised, Ikuno’s head to the side, her eyes wide open. Slowly, the boy lowered his hand. He walked to the door. 

“I swear, Ikuno. One of these days, you will push me over the edge. And I will not be accountable for what I will do to you.” He said in a low voice, before storming back up the stairs. Ikuno’s hand slowly drifted to her cheek. She rubbed it slowly, sniffing. Her chest burned. Her face burned. Everything burned. 

 

She reached for her glasses that had struck the table. The world was slightly fuzzy, and she struggled to place exactly where they had landed. Leaning forward, her wounded leg gave way, and she fell headfirst onto the floor, slipping off the sofa, holding out her free arm in defence.

“OUCH!” She gripped her arm tightly. A long cut ran down her forearm, blood seeping through where the skin had broken. To her dismay, she saw her glasses lying on the carpet, one of the lenses broken and jagged. Putting on the smashed spectacles, she inspected her arm. A shard of glass was sticking out, making the girl feel light headed. Bracing herself, she grabbed the shard between her thumb and forefinger, pulling it free. “Ow…” She inhaled sharply through her teeth, watching the beads of blood form on her skin. 

  
  


“Hey! Ichigo! Come to the lake with us!” Hiro called, waving at the girl. She glanced over her shoulder at the house. Ikuno was no longer visible in the living room. Adjusting her mittens, she nodded and hesitantly started to walk towards the other children. 

“I-Ichigo?” The girl stopped and turned, her face breaking into a large smile. Ikuno was limping down the steps of the house, her coat flapping around her legs. “Wait for me!” Her ankles disappeared into the snow almost instantly, and she limped heavily towards the girl. Hiro ran forward, and put Ikuno’s arm around his shoulder. “Th-thanks Hiro.” He nodded. 

“No problem. Come on Ichigo!” The three of them slowly made their way through the woods towards the frozen body of water. Ichigo glanced up at Ikuno. Her hair was messily swept up behind her, not in her usual clipped up ponytail. Her black eye was fading slightly, her skin bruised a lighter purple. A red mark stained her cheek. Ichigo frowned. She hadn’t seen that the previous night they had laid together. Upon even closer inspection of the girl, she noticed one vital thing missing from her friend’s attire. 

“Kuno?"

“Hmm?” 

“Where are your glasses?” Ikuno looked away. 

“They broke.” 

“Broke?! How?!” Ikuno shrugged. 

“Smashed.” Ichigo looked over her shoulder at the house in alarm. 

“S-smashed?? But-“ 

“Don’t worry. It was an accident.” Ikuno’s voice indicated the conversation was finished. Sighing, Ichigo looked down at her feet, the snow crunching underneath them. 

  
  


“Ikuno! Wanna come and slide?” Ikuno shook her head, seated on a nearby rock. The squad were slipping and sliding over the frozen surface of the lake, shouting with joy. Ichigo was encased in Goro’s arms, his body providing support and stability. Ignoring the pang of jealousy, Ikuno slowly compacted a handful of snow, and held it to her black eye. She shut her other eye and relaxed, the falling snowflakes tickling her face.

“Goro…”

“Hmm?”

“I...uh…WOAH!!” Ichigo shrieked and grabbed onto the boy as her feet slipped out from under her. He caught the girl and held her up, panting. They laughed. 

“What was it you wanted to ask?” He asked after a moment’s pause. 

“I...Want to spend more time with Ikuno. I want to make her happy.” Goro was taken aback at his partner’s sudden change of fixation. Ikuno? Why  _ Ikuno?  _ Nevertheless, he nodded, smiling. He was going to support Ichigo, and do whatever it took to make her happy. 

“Sure. What can I do?” Ichigo wobbled precariously. 

“What’s a...good thing for us to do?” Goro paused, and glanced at the girl. She was leaning down, her hands busy at work, making a mound of snow at her feet.  

“How about...making a snowman?” Ichigo frowned.  

“A what?” 

“A man made of snow. Duh.” He poked her playfully on the cheek. She smirked and smacked his hand away lightly. 

“Hmm...okay!” She slid to the side of the lake, and leaped off the ice, running through the snow towards her friend. “Thanks Goro!!” She called over her shoulder. “You’re the best!!” The boy laughed under his breath, and hung his head. 

“Right…” 

 

“Heyy Kuno!” Ikuno looked up, and squinted slightly. 

“Oh...hey Ichi.” Ichigo fell to her knees and started to add to the snow mound that Ikuno was making. “Wh-what are you doing?” 

“Making a snowman!” Ikuno cocked her head. 

“A snow…man?” 

“It’s a man made of snow! Duh!” The small girl began piling snow onto the mound, her breath forming small clouds of condensation in the air. Ikuno paused, then lowered herself to her knees, gathering a handful of snow in her gloves.

* * *

 

“Does it have to be a man?” Ikuno asked, distastefully eyeing the body and head they had constructed. She didn’t particularly like the idea of the two girls creating a likeness of the boy who regularly beat her and objectified her. Ichigo shrugged. 

“I guess not. Why, what did you want?” Ikuno paused. 

“A...uh…a snowcat?” She suggested weakly. Ichigo nodded enthusiastically, her eyes lighting up. 

“We can make Augustus!” She grabbed a handful of snow. “This will be the best snowcat ever!!” Ikuno smiled slowly. It was times like this where her love for Ichigo really became hard to contain. The girl was happy. Not just...'happy', like when they complete a mission, but  **_happy._ ** It was more than that. Ikuno could tell the difference. The way her face lit up when she spoke, the small crinkles underneath her eyes when she smiled. When Ichigo was like this...Ikuno felt like she could do anything. She gasped as she felt warm tears slide down her face. Ichigo looked over from the ear she was constructing. “Ikuno?” Ikuno wiped her face and nodded. 

“Y-yeah?”

“What’s wrong?” Ikuno took a deep breath, and sighed, hiccuping slightly. 

“I just…”’She sniffed and smiled. “I just can’t remember the last time I felt this happy.” Ichigo gasped, tears springing into her own eyes. 

“Oh...Ikuno…” 

“Thank you, Ichigo.” Ikuno said slowly, her eyes still swimming. “I...You...You mean everything to me. And you…” She paused. Mitsuru’s face flashed into her mind. Pain flashed up her ribcage. She lowered her head. “You are really my best friend.” She concluded miserably. Ichigo did not notice this, her entire body shaking with the attempt to contain her emotions. 

“IKUNOOO!!” She wailed lunging forward and hugging onto the girl tightly. Ikuno squeaked in pain, but relaxed as she felt Ichigo’s body shaking with sobs. “KUNO!!” The girl cried thickly through her tears. “I want you to be HAPPY!!! That’s all I want!!!” Ikuno slowly put her arms around the girl’s body, pulling her closer. “I...I…” Ichigo paused. Ikuno’s heart skipped a beat.    
  


Both girls knew what Ichigo wanted to say. 

  
  


But it wasn’t meant to be. 

  
  
  


* * *

“That was so fun!!” Zorome cried excitedly, before pausing, and sneezing. Miku smirked at him from the other side of the room, but also descended into a fit of sneezing. The squad laughed. 

“You should have wrapped up warmer.” Ichigo chided. She was seated on the sofa, her legs tucked underneath her, nestled in Ikuno’s arms. Ikuno was sleeping softly, her head resting on top of the girl’s, her injured leg elevated on a footrest. The fire in the fireplace crackled and spat, warming the room and filling it with a seasonal atmosphere. The snow was still falling lightly outside in the twilight, the sky illuminated a dark purple. Ichigo sighed and leaned against her friend. She would only shut her eyes for a minute or two...the warmth and light from the fire was making her very sleepy, after all. She yawned, and her eyes drifted shut. 

Ichigo’s eyes snapped open. It was now dark outside, the flakes still visibly falling. The fire had dwindled to nothing but a smoking pile of wood. The rest of the squad were sleeping too, dotted around the room. She stretched and froze up, as she realised-

  
  


Ikuno wasn’t sitting behind her anymore.

 

“Kuno??” Ichigo whispered, her panic rising. She headed up the stairs to the bedroom they shared. “Kuno!!!” Her heart was beating against her ribs. What if she was too late? What if Ikuno had gone back up to the roof?? Would Zero Two save her?? Would Zero Two even notice??? What if- 

She pushed open the door. 

Ikuno was lying in her bed, her body rising and falling softly. Ichigo sighed in relief, reaching under her bed. She sat on the edge of Ikuno’s bed and stroked her shoulder slowly. Ikuno moaned and rolled over, her green eyes opening slowly. 

“Hey.” Ichigo whispered. Ikuno’s mouth turned up at the corners. 

“Hi.” 

“Kuno,”

“Hmm?” 

“I have something for you.” Ikuno raised her eyebrows. Ichigo was holding a box, much like the ones they received from Papa, but much larger. Ikuno pushed herself up into a sitting position, leaning against the headboard. 

“For me?” Ichigo nodded. 

“Here.” She held it out. Ikuno gingerly took it. 

“Ichigo...you know I don’t deser-“

“Would’ya just open it??” Ichigo begged, her eyes sparkling. Ikuno sighed and tore the wrapping off the box. She carefully pulled off the lid, and glanced inside. She gasped. The lid fell to the bedsheets. 

“Ichigo…” 

“Yeah?” 

“You…” She reached inside and carefully pulled out the stuffed cat. “How??” 

“I wrote something to Nana last night after you fell asleep. I figured it would be a good time to.” Ikuno gently ran her fingers over the brown cat’s body, the fabric soft under the tips. Hesitating, she held it to her chest and hugged it, like she’d seen Ichigo do in her sleep. She gasped. The cat’s presence soothed her anxieties, and made her feel safe. The soft fur tickled her neck, and it smelled slightly of strawberries. 

“Oh...Ichigo…” Ikuno mumbled, her eyes filling with tears. “I-“

“Wait wait! There’s something else for you in there too!” Ikuno raised her eyebrows and reached into the box. She pulled out the object, and she smiled, tears escaping her eyes. 

“The book?”

“The book.” Ichigo smiled broadly. “It took some convincing, but Nana eventually said she’d go and get it!” She paused. “Well...do you like it?” Ikuno nodded. Her eyes swam with tears. What kind of person would she be, if she didn’t act now? She had to. This was the perfect time. The perfect place. There was only one thing she could do. 

She cupped Ichigo’s cheek in her hand, and brought her face close to the girl’s. 

“It...it’s lovely.” She whispered, her stomach about to explode with nausea and anxiety. Ikuno took a deep breath, and squeezed her eyes shut, pushing her lips forward onto Ichigo’s. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yay kiss kiss 
> 
> but i've started what happens next and it's going to be really bad sorry


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I need sleep i'm so tired oh my god 
> 
> I was reading one of Steven King's books and I like the way he writes some scenes, so I guess Ikuno's nightmare is inspired by that...I think it worked pretty good ^^ 
> 
> Shoutout to Futoshi I love him what a babe
> 
> And spot the pun based on the ending of the anime haha I loved that part (sarcasm)

Ikuno felt the girl tense up. For a moment, she panicked. Would Ichigo hit her? Push her off? Call Nana to take her away? 

Ikuno was terrified.

She was terrified that after all of this…Ichigo might not even want this.

She might lose her forever. 

Ikuno pulled away, sighing sadly. Ichigo's face was pale, her eyes wide, her lips slightly parted.

“Ichigo...I'm sorry! I-“

“Shh...” Ichigo leaned in and kissed the girl again. “Ikuno...I’ve been thinking about this for a long time.” 

“Y-you have?” Ichigo nodded. She paused. 

“D-do  _ you _ want this?” Ikuno looked away. This was more than anything she’d ever dreamed of. Her body throbbed, and she felt like she was going to be sick. “I can stop.” Ichigo pulled away. 

“No!” Ikuno cried, pulling her close again. “I...I want this. I want this more than anything else in the world.” She kissed Ichigo’s neck. “I’m just scared, when this is over...I’ll lose you.” Ichigo shook her head, and kissed Ikuno again on the lips. 

“You’ll never lose me. I love you, Ikuno. And I’ll stay with you forever. Until we’re both old and grey.” Ikuno laughed softly. 

“I’ll probably become grey much faster than you...you...you’ll stay young forever!” She joked. “You already look younger than your age!” Ichigo smiled. 

“And you’ll always look beautiful...even when you’re a grey haired old woman.” She smiled in a playful way. Ikuno smiled and blushed heavily. She kissed Ichigo again, the rest of the world falling away around them.

 

Ikuno opened her eyes and smiled. The sun was streaming in through the window, and she could see the shadows of snowflakes drifting down onto the floor. She looked down at the girl who was nuzzled into her body, sleeping softly. She hugged the girl, kissing her on the forehead. The previous night had been the best she could remember.  Ichigo loved her. Ichigo loved  _ her _ ! Her heart skipped a beat just thinking about it. She kissed Ichigo on the top of her head, pausing to inhale the scent of her strawberry shampoo. This was the happiest she had ever been. She sighed, her eyes drifting shut, wishing to stay in this moment forever. 

  
  


They snapped open again as their bedroom door opened. 

  
  


Ikuno felt the world fall apart around her. 

  
  
  
  
  


She glanced at the figure in the doorway, their eyes filled with rage and disgust, their face twisted into a snarl. 

  
  
  
  


Ikuno felt her eyes fill with tears. 

  
  
  
  
  
  


She opened her mouth to protest, before she realised nothing could excuse what she had done. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


She could only watch as Mitsuru adjusted his composure, and walked away quietly, the rage not leaving his eyes. 

  
  
  


* * *

“Ikuno, are you okay?” Kokoro asked anxiously. Ikuno was holding her teacup in both hands, but her hands were shaking so violently that the liquid was spilling over the edge onto the tablecloth. She nodded, her gaze unchanging. 

 

Mitsuru had seen her in her bed, with Ichigo. 

  
  


He had seen her kissing Ichigo. 

  
  


He had seen everything. 

  
  


It was over. 

  
  


He was going to kill her. 

  
  
  


* * *

Ikuno’s eyes were frozen wide, her body tense. Mitsuru grabbed ahold of the controls, and pulled them gently. She flinched, and braced herself...for a blow that never came. 

 

Opening her eyes slowly, she took a deep breath. 

“A-” She stopped. It might  be better not to say anything. Mitsuru pulled on the controls, indicating that she should start to pilot. She lowered her head, and sighed, her body shaking with fear. 

  
  
  


“Ikuno.” She froze, one hand on the doorway of the cockpit. Her body broke out in a sweat. Turning her head slowly, she felt her heart pounding in her chest. This was the first time they had spoken all mission. No, it was the first time they had spoken all day. 

“Y-yes?” He scowled.

“I’ll see you later.” She swallowed hard and nodded.

“O-Okay.”

  
  
  


Ikuno stared down at her food on her plate. Ichigo glanced at her nervously. She reached over and put her hand on her friend’s. Ikuno jumped and drew her hand away in alarm. 

“Kuno?”

“Do-don’t touch me!” She squeaked, her face paling. She stood up sharply, running up the stairs and out of sight. Ichigo gaped after her, her hand outstretched. She glanced at Goro. He shrugged. Ichigo felt a blush creep up on her neck. Was this because of her? What they had done? Had it destroyed Ikuno inside? The last thing she wanted was to hurt her friend...yet-

She looked back down at her hands, her tears dripping onto her lap.

On the other side of the table, Mitsuru wiped his lips with his napkin, and narrowed his eyes.   
  


Ikuno lay in her bed, her heart pounding. She had spent the whole day in a state of perpetual fear, her body shaking, and her heart stopping at every out of place noise or event. She shut her eyes, attempting to force herself to sleep.

Besides, no news from Mitsuru was good news…...right….? 

Maybe he hadn’t seen Ichigo...Her head was under the covers...right…?   
  
Maybe it was all in her head.

* * *

 

_ Ikuno blinked and stood up, rubbing her eyes. The pain in her chest was gone, and her leg didn’t throb steadily with pain. She looked around. She was in the Garden. (Her Garden??) It was empty. The white walls burned her eyes. Looking down at the checkered floor, she adjusted her uniform (Children’s gown??) and sighed.  _

_ “You made it, huh?” Ikuno whirled around. Her eyes widened.  _

_ “Naomi!” The girl stepped out of the shadowy corner of the room and sighed. “You! You were here?” Naomi looked at her sadly, her brown (cyan??) eyes glinting. Ikuno paused. “Am I dead?” Naomi laughed, a cold laugh that filled Ikuno’s body with unease. She edged back away from the girl, her heart beginning to speed up.  _

_ “Dead?” She mocked. “You wish.” Ikuno blinked. “You’re here now. Where all the bad children go. Where the defective children go.”   _

_ “I don’t understand-”  _

_ “You wish you were dead, Ikuno. You can  _ **_wish it_ ** _.” Ikuno tripped over backwards in her haste, Naomi’s laugh burning into her ears. “You can wish it!! You can wiSH IT!! YOU CAN WISH IT!!!!  _ **_YOU CAN WISH IT!!!!!_ ** _ ” Naomi’s soft voice degraded into a harsh distorted shriek, and Ikuno screamed in fear, shutting her eyes, and clamping her hands over her ears. “ _ **_YOU’LL NEVER ESCAPE!! YOU’LL NEVER ESCAPE!! YOU’LL NEV-”_ **

_ “STOP!!! PLEASE STOP!! I DON’T UNDERSTAND!!!” She paused. Naomi’s shrieks had faded, leaving her in an impenetrable silence. _

 

_ “Code _ : _ 196.” Ikuno opened her eyes. She was in a pitch black...endless room. The only light was shining down onto her, flickering weakly. She clutched at her chest nervously.  _

_ (This is a dream) _

_ Hands grabbed her from behind.  _

_ (THIS IS A DREAM) _

_ She was forced onto a table, her arms and legs restrained.  _

_ (WAKE UP) _

_ The reflection of a needle in the light.  _

_ (IKUNO!)  _

_ Someone (Ichigo??) screaming her name.  _

_ The needle piercing her skin.  _

_ Ikuno screamed in pure terror and pulled against her restraints. She saw the masked Adults surrounding her, whispering. _

_ One word making it to her ears.  _

**_DEFECTIVE._ **

_ (IKUNO!!!) _

_ Ikuno screamed again, but no sound escaped her mouth. She felt her stomach drop. She’d had this part of her dream too many times before to not know where it was going.  _

_ (SO WAKE UP!)  _

_ Ikuno looked away as the familiar presence of Mitsuru on top of her crushed her chest. She waited for his hands to start touching her, but they never came. She relaxed. _

_ (NO) _

_ Maybe it was over.  _

_ (WAKE UP!! NOW!!)  _

_ She felt a hand wrap around her throat, blocking off her air. Glancing up, she saw the glint of a knife in the flickering light. Ikuno felt her body shake uncontrollably at the sight of the person on top of her.  _

_ (IT’S NOT REAL!! IT’S NOT-) _

_ Ichigo glared down at her, her face streaked with blood, her eyes glowing with rage.   _

_ (BUT IT’S NOT HER!)  _

_ “Oh Ikuno…” Ichigo sighed, twirling the weapon in her hand. Ikuno’s vision blurred and she coughed desperately. “If only someone actually loved you. You’re broken. As if I’d ever love you. You disgusting...repulsive girl.” Ikuno felt tears running down her face, the salty sensation filling her mouth. Ichigo tilted her head back and laughed, a cold laugh, mirroring that of Naomi’s. Ikuno’s eyes were wide, her body frozen with fear. The light flicked off, plunging her into darkness. _

_ (PLEASE, NO MORE)  _

_ The light flicked on. _

_ (MAKE IT STOP)  _

_ Mitsuru scowled down at her, raising the knife above her chest.  _

_ (NO!) _

_ The light flicked off.  _

_ The light flicked on.  _

_ Nine Alpha was holding the knife, his green eyes alight with triumph.  _

_ The light flicked off. _  
  


_ The light flicked on.  _  
  


_ Ichigo was panting, her eyes filled with tears, the knife clutched in her grip.  _

_ “I’m sorry…” She sniffed. “Mitsuru made me do this...He said he would hurt me if I didn’t do this…” _

 

_ The light flicked off. _

  
  


_ The light flicked on.  _

 

_ Mitsuru slammed the knife towards her body.  _

 

_ The light flicked off. _

  
  


Ikuno sat up sharply, her screams frantic and terror filled. She clutched the bedsheets tightly. Her body was drenched in sweat, her nightgown sticking to her skin. She paused, and swallowed hard, pushing down her nausea.

Nope.

It was going to happen.

Ikuno staggered to her feet and limped down the corridor towards the upstairs bathroom. She threw herself at the toilet bowl, retching, her body shaking. 

That had been the scariest nightmare yet. 

She flushed the toilet and leaned against the sink, cupping water in her hands, and washing out her mouth. Sweeping back her loose hair, she secured it in a ponytail and sighed, leaning on the sink for support. 

Her ribs were killing her. 

Controlling her breathing carefully, she placed her hand on the right side of her ribcage. She felt the bones, protruding against her skin. Ikuno laughed softly to herself. 

Maybe eating less had been a bad idea after all. 

Tracing them slowly, she froze as her fingertips dipped. Swallowing her panic, she traced them again. 

Her fingers dipped again.

 

Her rib was cracked. 

 

Not just that one, but the one below it too. 

 

And the one below that. 

 

Ikuno shook, her face paling. She had at  _ least _ ...three cracked, possibly broken, ribs. She glanced at her swollen leg. 

God knows what had happened to that. 

 

Limping back towards her room, Ikuno froze as she caught sight of a light on near the attic corridor. Zero Two’s words floated back to her mind, the pink haired girl resting her hand gently on Ikuno’s shoulder. 

_ You can tell us anything. _

This, she guessed, came under “anything”.   
  


Raising her hand hesitantly, she knocked on the wood of Zero Two’s door. The door opened on it’s own, and Ikuno edged in, shutting the door behind her. She turned to face the figure on the bed, and she felt her stomach drop out from inside her.

  
  


On the floor below her, Zero Two was smiling gently, Hiro wrapped in her arms, the two sleeping softly. 

  
  


“M...Mi-“ Ikuno’s cry of surprise was cut out as the boy punched her in the stomach. Ikuno fell to the floor coughing, clutching her torso tightly. Her ribs screamed with pain, and her throat burned. He scowled at her, and grabbed her by the hair, pulling her out of Zero Two’s room, and into the storage room along the corridor. He threw her against the floor, her head hitting the wood hard. She was trembling. This was it. 

 

Mitsuru was going to kill her. 

 

He advanced onto her, clutching a metal pole that was leaning amongst the discarded items in the room. The moon lit up his profile, casting long dark shadows up the walls. 

“Please…” She whispered. “It-it’s not what you think…”

“Then tell me what it  _ is _ .” He snapped, grabbing the girl by the hair. She cried out in pain, tears rolling down her face. She gasped and struggled to find words, her breathing staggering. Mitsuru scowled. “That’s what I thought.” He slammed her to the floor again. Ikuno screamed as she felt something crack inside of her. “You…” He said quietly. “I did everything for you.”  Ikuno whimpered and sobbed, clutching her ribcage. “And you still aren’t fixed.” She sniffed.

“Wh-what if I can’t be fixed??”  

“Everything can be fixed.” He pulled her head up again. “I’m going to go inside of you again, Ikuno.” Her eyes widened and she shook her head.

“N-no…”

“Yes. I’m going to go inside of you again, and then I’m going to hurt you.” He took a deep breath, his hand clutching the pole.

“And...Like I said...you cannot hold me accountable for what I am going to do to you.”

  
  
  


Goro nudged Ichigo gently. The girl stirred in her sleep, her face twisting slightly in discomfort, then relaxing. She remained asleep, her chest rising and falling slowly. He sighed. Her cheeks were still rosy from the evening they had spent in the snow. Ikuno had excused herself and gone to sleep early that day, so she hadn’t joined them. Ichigo had been worried, but the girl’s pale complexion and feverish skin had convinced her that it was another quick spell of the Child Fever. She had allowed Ikuno to go up alone, but it had been a struggle to get her to relax enough to sleep. He stroked her hair slowly tucking it behind her ear. She smiled softly in her sleep, her arm creeping around his body further. 

The boy resigned himself as he knew those smiles were not for him.

He rested his head on hers, and sighed deeply.

“G-Goro?” Goro looked up sharply. Futoshi was standing in the doorway, a steaming mug clasped in his hands. The large boy smiled comfortingly, his cheeks tinged pink, much like the cheeks of the girl who lay sleeping in Goro’s arms. “You’re awake.”Goro nodded and smiled, adjusting his position on the sofa.

“So are you.” He observed slowly. Futoshi shrugged.  

“I couldn’t sleep.” He held out the mug. “Want it? I haven’t touched it. I promise.” Goro raised and lowered one shoulder sloppily. He reached for his glasses that were resting on the table, pushing them up his nose. He paused, and ran his fingers over the lens. “You okay?” Goro nodded.

“I just thought…” He glanced at the shards of glass that littered the carpet. They were of similar thickness to his own lenses, and the size of them indicated they could have easily come from the rimmed lenses that sat balanced on his face. “...never mind.”

Futoshi held out the mug, and he took it, sniffing the contents gingerly. 

“It’s not poison!” The boy exclaimed, visibly hurt. Goro raised one eyebrow and swirled the liquid around inside, the steam slowly rising into the air, clouding up his glasses.

“What’s-” 

“Inside? I tried mixing some melted chocolate with some cinnamon and stuff…” He looked away, blushing, his hand raised to the back of his head. “You know...to spice up the milk a little-” 

Goro’s eyebrows raised in surprise. “It’s good.” He sipped at the liquid again. “You should make all our meals and drinks from now on.” Futoshi laughed nervously. 

“W-well...I don’t know if I’m  _ that _ good…” Goro nodded earnestly. 

“No! No, I mean it! Real good stuff here, ‘Toshi.” The boy reddened at such praise suddenly bestowed on him, and he rubbed his nose with the back of his hand. “Hey, you know what?” Goro said suddenly, raising his head. Futoshi shuffled from one foot to the other. “Make some of this for Ikuno. I’m sure this will make her feel tons better!” Futoshi clasped his hands in delight. 

“That’s a great idea!” He cried, ecstatic at the opportunity to do something nice for his former partner. “I’ll do anything to cheer her up...She seems to be awfully down nowadays.” Goro nodded knowingly. 

“It’s funny. Ichigo said the same thing to me yesterday.” Futoshi sighed. 

“I guess we all have to do what we can.” Goro sipped at his drink again, and stroked Ichigo’s shoulder. 

“Yeah.” 

 

Futoshi slowly climbed the stairs to Ikuno’s room, a warm mug clasped in his hands. He sniffed the swirling steam, smiling to himself. Ikuno would love this. He knew she didn’t like her food or drink too extravagant, so he had added a little less cinnamon than before. His smile widened. He knew these small things about the girl that perhaps nobody else did. They were his small secrets, that he whipped out whenever he felt he had to, just to make the girl smile. Ikuno’s smile...filled his stomach with butterflies. It made him feel happy inside. To do something for someone so lonely...to make them smile...it made him feel good. 

He paused and adjusted the grip on the mug, pushing open the bedroom door. 

“Hey...Kuno...I-” He paused. Ikuno’s room was empty. He blinked. Ichigo’s bed was empty, the covers neatly folded. Ikuno’s bed was also empty, the sheets strewn to the side and flung across the floor. Her pillow was wedged between the table and the mattress, halfway to the floor. Frowning, Futoshi backed away from the doorway, his hand shaking. The liquid trembled near the top of the mug, threatening to spill. “Ikuno?” He turned and glanced down the corridor. It was completely dark, aside from the faint light coming from the lower floor. He paused. Where would the girl be at such an hour? 

“Ikuno?” He pushed open the door to the library on the second floor. Shelves and shelves of books stared back at him….as did Ikuno’s empty armchair that she so often inhabited. He sighed, his panic rising. 

“Ikuno?” He sighed, swirling the milk drink slowly. Glancing over his shoulder at the walls, he made his way down the corridor, past the upstairs bathroom. There were still no lights on anywhere on the floor, the darkness creeping up on his back, making him feel uneasy. 

Something wasn’t right. 

 

“Ikuno??” He edged towards the end of the corridor, the darkness making it harder and harder to see. “C-Come on...this isn’t funny! I- WOAH!” He cried out as he tripped over something at the foot of the stairs leading up to the attic. He groaned, and rubbed his head. Opening his eyes, he gasped as he saw the milk drink spilling over the wooden planks, running into the grooves in the wood, the mug’s handle broken off of the main body. “Oh no...Zero Two…” He  groaned, rubbing his head again. The girl should stop leaving her things lying around. Nobody goes up to  _ her  _ side of the house...so she shouldn’t mess up  _ theirs _ . He rolled over to inspect what he had tripped over.   
  


His heart stopped. 

  
  


He felt his blood run cold. 

  
  


He opened his mouth, frozen in a silent scream, his eyes wide with horror. 

  
  


Ikuno’s lifeless eyes stared back at him, their green piercing through the darkness. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> whoops


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> short hospital chapter...I have midterms coming up so possibly no updates for a few days/weeks...sorry about that!

“I-Ikuno?” Futoshi scrambled to his knees and held his hands out shakily. Her eyes were wide open, her lips slightly parted. Futoshi was panicking, his heartbeat in his head. He reached up and switched on the nearest lamp. Retching, he clapped his hands to his mouth. 

 

Ikuno was broken. 

 

That’s the only way he could describe it.

 

Sweating, the boy froze, as he heard a slight squeaking fill the gaping silence. He glanced down at the girl, her eyelid twitching. She was alive. 

  
  


Ikuno was still alive. 

  
__

* * *

“You won’t be in any trouble.” Nana placed her hand onto Futoshi’s. “Just tell me what you saw.” The boy was staring into his lap, silent large tears falling down his pale cheeks. Nana sighed. “Futoshi.” He glanced up, tears spilling over the edge of his eyes. “Do you want to help Ikuno?” The boy glanced to the side of the table. Ikuno’s hairclip lay on the side, the blue fabric bloodstained. He bit his lip and nodded. “Then you have to tell me what you saw.” 

“I-I…” He stopped, inhaling deeply. “I went to take Ikuno a drink. She was...she was just...lying on the floor...her eyes...they were staring right at me...a-and…” 

“It’s okay.” The woman paused. “Do you know how this might have happened?” Futoshi shook his head.

“I see.” 

“C-can I see her?” Nana shook her head. 

“No. Until I get answers from all of you.” She got to her feet. “I need to speak to you all together. Please can you wait in the briefing room?” Futoshi nodded, leaving the room quietly. 

 

“ **_Suspension?!_ ** ” The squad cried together. Nana crossed her arms and scowled. 

“Until this is sorted, you are all suspended from piloting.” Mitsuru’s hand shot into the air. “Yes?”

“What if-” 

“A klaxosaur appears? We will dispatch Strelitzia.” Zero Two nodded in affirmation. “And  _ only  _ Strelitzia.” The rest of the squad hung their heads. Nana paused. “Where’s Ichigo?” Hiro shuffled nervously. 

“U-uh...sh-she doesn’t know about Ikuno. Goro is bringing her, and we thought we’d tell her slowly...so as to minimize her shock and stress.” Nana nodded knowingly. The door opened slowly, and Goro entered, followed by Ichigo. She clasped her hands together, a large smile on her face. 

“We’re all here already? Sorry I’m late! I just slept so deeply last night!” She stopped as the rest of her teammates averted their gaze. “Wh...what is it?” She glanced at Nana, who looked at her feet, her eyes brimming with tears. “What?!” She cried, her panic rising. She scanned the faces of her teammates. Her face slowly paled. “Where’s Ikuno.” Her voice was emotionless and flat. Kokoro let out a sob and buried her head in Futoshi’s shoulder. “ _ WHERE’S IKUNO?! _ ” She shrieked, her hands shaking. Nana wiped her eyes, and took a deep breath.

* * *

 

Ikuno was lying on a bed, her arms and legs in thick white casts. Her hands drooped limply off the edge of the bed, and her neck was in a brace. Her eyes were shut, and she had a oxygen mask over her nose and mouth. Her head was also wrapped in bandages, and various tubes were protruding out of her at different angles. The room was dark and silent, apart from the occasional beep of a heart monitor, and the orange glow of the information screen above the bed, and the city outside the large window illuminated the room. Nana took a seat on a chair in the far corner. “You have five minutes.” Ikuno’s breath formed a cloud of condensation on the mask, which slowly faded away. Ichigo was shaking. She felt faint. That morning...that very morning...she had awoken in the girl’s arms...happy...safe. 

 

How could this have happened?? 

She sat on the seat next to the bed and gently took Ikuno’s hand in hers. She stroked it with her thumb. Ikuno's hand was cold and limp, and she did not react to Ichigo’s touch. Ichigo felt tears well up in her eyes. “Ikuno.” She leant forward and pressed her forehead against the side of Ikuno’s head. “You better not die on me. I-I swear! You...you can’t! I forbid it! You are NOT leaving me!! Not like this!! Now, WAKE UP!!” Ikuno did not move, but continued to breathe erratically, her chest moving up and down. Ichigo felt warm tears on her cheeks. She held onto Ikuno’s hand tighter and pressed her head further against Ikuno’s.

 

“Time to go.” Nana walked over to the door. “Ichigo. Time to go.” Ichigo let out a sob and shook her head. Nana sighed and headed over behind her, putting her hands on Ichigo's shoulders. “Come on.” She said gently. Ichigo sobbed again and kissed Ikuno’s cheek. 

“I c-can't leave her...not like this…”

“Come on, Ichigo.” Nana gently pulled Ichigo away from the bed and towards the door. Ichigo struggled weakly in her arms. 

“no...NO! IKUNO! PLEASE! I CAnt…” She trailed off as the door shut between them. She fell to her knees. “I can't leave her…”

* * *

Ichigo was inconsolable. She barely ate, she barely slept. Every day she asked about her friend, and every day she received the same answer. 

_ It doesn’t look good. _

Nana had reported to her that Ikuno had suffered major external and internal injuries. She had a punctured lung, and her ribs had been practically shattered. Her kneecap was fractured, and both her arms had been broken. These were all fixable, but what Nana had been most concerned about was the head injuries she had sustained. It had appeared as if something heavy had struck her over and over, leaving her with fractures all over her skull. They didn’t know what effect this would have on her functioning, her memories, or her ability to pilot. Ichigo had squeezed her eyes shut to prevent herself from retching, but she had failed, collapsing over the toilet bowl minutes after the meeting was over. 

The parasites had been cleared on the basis that there was no video evidence showing anything happening to Ikuno on the night in question. After all, they all had denied doing this to the girl. Hachi had concluded that this was the result of the girl tripping and falling down the stairs. 

Nothing else could explain what had happened. 

But Nana wasn’t convinced. 

Someone had done this deliberately.

And they had had the intention to kill.

* * *

Ichigo was sitting on the rickety chair next to Ikuno’s bed, her eyes closed. She rested her head on her hands, sleeping softly. Nana and Goro watched her quietly from the doorway. 

“It’s been almost a week.” Nana said sadly. “When are we going to tell her?” Goro shook his head in protest. 

“We won’t.” 

“But-” 

“Ikuno means the world to Ichigo.” He said gently, watching the two girls. “For her to find out that she might not walk again...or pilot...or even wake up!-”

“Would crush her less than her finding out the hard way.” Nana put her hand on Goro’s shoulder. “Goro…” He sighed. 

“I see.” He huffed. “Do what you must. Just-” He placed two fingers to his forehead. “Don’t hurt her. Please.” Nana nodded.    
  
  


Opening her eyes slowly, Ichigo’s vision blurred. She stretched, and rubbed her eyes. A hand caressed her shoulder. She smiled. 

“Mmm…’kuno?? Wha’s wron’?” 

“Ichigo.” Ichigo’s eyes snapped open. Ikuno’s lifeless body lay in front of her, in the same position as the previous night, her face grey. Ichigo sniffed, and sighed as the familiar sensation of depression and dread flooded her body. It was always like this whenever she was awake. All that was ever on her mind was her friend. Whenever she awoke, she felt the dread of knowing that Ikuno would not be waking up next to her. She felt the stone-like pit inside her stomach, dragging her down. Turning to Nana, she sighed sadly. 

“Hey Nana.” The woman smiled encouragingly. 

“Come and get something to eat. You’ve been here all night.” Ichigo shook her head slowly, her body still groggy from sleep. 

“I’m not leaving her.” She took Ikuno’s hand in her own. The girl’s hand was still cold, her fingers like icicles. Shaking her head, she inhaled sharply. “Nope. Nuh-uh.” Nana sighed, drawing back. 

“Ichigo…” She bit her lip. “Listen…” 

“Hmm?” 

“Ikuno…Ikuno is very weak. We don’t know if she will wake up.” 

“Now?” Ichigo’s innocent question tore Nana’s heart in two.

“E-ever.” Ichigo shook her head, standing up sharply. “She has...very very bad head injuries. I...we...we don’t know whether she will ever be able to wake up. And, if she does, we don’t know how long she would be able to withstand it.” Ichigo paled, tears slipping down her cheeks. “I’m sorry-”

“You’re wrong.” She said in a low voice. 

“S-sorry?”

“YOU’RE WRONG!” Ichigo screamed, her face wet with tears. She glanced sorrowfully at her friend, who still had not moved, her chest rising and falling. “I know her! I...I grew up with her! Ikuno is many things...she...she’s strong. She’s beautiful...she’s smart...she’s brave…” Ichigo wiped her eyes. “She’s strong. And I know…” She swallowed hard. “I  _ know  _ she will make it through this!!” 

Nana gaped at her. She sighed sadly, nodding. “I see.” 

The woman could not find it within herself to tell the girl the truth.

 

Ikuno was never going to wake up. 

 

The scans had come back negative. 

 

Her chances of survival were...next to zero. 

 

* * *

“Ikuno.” Ichigo said quietly. “Ikuno, wake up. Please.” Ikuno did not move. Ichigo slowly put a hand on Ikuno’s cheek.  “Please wake up. Or show me that you're not as weak as they say you are. Everyone else has given up on you. They don't know you can do it. But I do. I know you. I know you can do anything you put your mind to. Prove to me that you can do this. Anything. Anything at all. A sign. A movement. Something.” Ikuno continued to breathe deeply, the small cloud of condensation on her oxygen mask growing and shrinking. Ichigo felt warm tears spill over down onto her cheeks. She sniffed and pulled Ikuno’s hand to her face. She pushed it against her cheek and held it there. Unable to hold it back any longer, she sobbed hard, her body jerking forward with sobs. 

It was hopeless. It had been almost a month and a half. Ikuno was as good as dead at this point. She was starting to get weaker every day. Nana couldn’t explain it. The Adults couldn’t explain it. She was slowly slipping towards death, and here they were forcing her to stay alive for another day. It wasn’t fair on Ikuno. It wasn’t fair on  _ her.  _ Ichigo sniffed. She never wanted to see anyone in her squad look like this. Maybe it would be for the best if Ikuno was just...allowed to move on. Her body shook at the thought of allowing her purple haired friend to die, and she sobbed hard again. 

Everyone else had given up. Even Futoshi had stopped visiting her. He ‘couldn’t bear to see her like this’. Ichigo coughed, her breathing jagged. She didn’t care how bad and sickly Ikuno looked. She would always be there for her. Always. She had made a promise.

 

And she would always... **always** ...stay with her. 

 

She felt a pressure on her face, and her eyes jerked open, her thoughts interrupted. “I-Ikuno??” She held Ikuno’s hand in both of hers and leant into her friend’s face. “Ikuno??” Again. There it was. A slight, faint pressure. Just enough for Ichigo to feel it. She brushed Ikuno’s hair out of her face frantically and stroked her cheeks. “Ikuno!!” Ikuno’s eyelid twitched slightly. She groaned softly and her eyes opened a fraction, the bright green colour shining through in the dark. Her lips parted, and she let out a hoarse whisper. “IKUNO!!” Ichigo fell instantly to kissing Ikuno’s face, tears of relief flooding down her own. Ikuno winced and opened her mouth slightly wider. 

“Ich…” Her hand drifted to the mask on her face. Ichigo gently lifted it from her face, and Ikuno coughed violently as the cold air hit her nose and mouth. 

“Ikuno! You’re alive!! I knew it! I knew it!! I-“ Ikuno coughed again and raised her hand to her forehead. 

“...wa...water…” 

“Water! S-sure!” Ichigo fumbled with the tumbler on the side of the table, pouring a glass of water. Ikuno watched her through half closed eyes, her eyes occasionally shutting and then jerking open again. Ichigo placed a hand on Ikuno’s chest, and one underneath her on her back. She gently lifted her top half of her body and helped her sit upwards. Ikuno barely moved upwards before she screamed out in pain, her body tensing up, and flopped down back onto the bed. She lay on her back, her body shaking with sobs, tears running down and being absorbed into the pillowcase. Ichigo trembled and lifted the glass to Ikuno’s lips, trickling the fluid into her mouth. Her dry tongue emerged from her mouth, licking at it. Ichigo gently set the water back down onto the table and leant down to kiss Ikuno on the face. 

“Kiss?” Ikuno’s eyebrows raised slightly. She sniffed and gulped. Ichigo blushed and cried out in joy. 

“I don’t care! I’m just so happy you're okay!” Ikuno raised a shaking hand and caressed Ichigo’s face. 

“Mm...mmm…” Ikuno drifted back into semi-unconsciousness, her eyes becoming unfocused. Ichigo staggered to her feet and backed out of the room. She leant on the doorframe and took a deep breath.

 

**_“NANA!!”_ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yay shes alive!


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sick so I can't get out of bed 
> 
>  
> 
> Only one thing I can do 
> 
>  
> 
> I've been researching into PTSD and such so I'm hoping eventually this personality shift will make sense 
> 
> Essentially: Ikuno is traumatised which causes a lot of problems from here on out

Against all the medical odds, Ikuno was alive. She had woken up only briefly before slipping back into a deep sleep, but it was miles better than her comatose like state she had been in thus far. Nana had immediately set to work, concocting a way to catch whoever had done this to her. 

They couldn’t be allowed to get away with this. 

 

“You may go in, one at a time.” Nana paused. “Do not say anything to her. It might stress her out. We are just testing her memory function.” The children nodded, and Miku slipped into the dark room. Of course, Nana did feel bad about lying to the children, but that was required. 

To catch a dishonest person, sometimes you have to  _ be  _ a dishonest person. 

The children came in and out, and all the while, Ikuno regarded them civilly, nodding, a weak smile on her face. 

“Mitsuru, your turn.” The boy nodded and walked into the room. Ichigo, the only other member left, peeked in through the doorway, her heart racing. Ikuno met his eyes. Her face dropped. Then, she pushed herself to sit up straight, a large smile on her face. 

  
  


“Mitsuru!” She cried happily. “You came!” He nodded curtly. “I missed you so much! I...I thought I’d never see you again!” He raised one eyebrow. Nana’s stomach dropped. Mitsuru had been her prime suspect. But Ikuno’s reaction was so raw...so real...she couldn’t have been putting it on. The girl held out her hand, and he took it hesitantly. “Don’t worry, soon they’ll let me go and we can go back to piloting just like we used to do!” He blinked once in surprise. 

“Right...like we used to…” 

“Y-You aren’t mad at me, are you?” The girl asked worriedly. “I know how much piloting means to you-“

“No! No.” He kissed her hand. Ichigo felt a pang of disgust and jealousy. “What’s important to me is that you feel better soon.” She blushed slightly. Ichigo felt ill. Ikuno had never blushed for Mitsuru before. 

Something was wrong with her. 

 

Terribly wrong. 

 

“Ichigo, you can go in now.” Nana prodded her gently. Ichigo stumbled in, her hands slipping over each other. Ikuno caught her eye, still smiling. Ichigo smiled back.    
  


And then Ikuno’s face dropped. 

 

“YOU!” She shrieked, her face paling. Ichigo froze. 

“Wh-“

“KEEP AWAY FROM ME!” Ikuno screamed, her face as white as a sheet. Ichigo backed away, tears forming in her eyes. 

“Ikuno-“

“NO! THIS IS BECAUSE OF YOU! THIS IS BECAUSE OF YOU! THIS IS-“ Nana rushed in over the girls screams, instructing Ichigo to leave. Staggering out the door, she watched Nana inject Ikuno with a clear liquid, her body shuddering, then going limp. Ichigo was in shock. The rest of the squad were staring at her, their mouths agape. Panting, Nana turned to her slowly, smoothing back her hair, her face dark. 

“Ichigo. I think you and I…” She paused to catch her breath. “Need to have a talk.”

* * *

 

“I DIDN’T, NANA, I SWEAR-“ Nana held up her hand. Ichigo felt silent, her body shaking. 

“I can’t change her reaction to you.” Nana said slowly, sitting down. Ichigo felt herself start to cry. 

“I didn’t touch her.” She whispered. “I...I love Ikuno. I love her so much. I would never hurt her. I...I wouldn’t…I  _ didn’t _ -“

“Then who did?” The woman asked slowly. Ichigo hung her head. 

“I-I don’t know, Nana.” Nana sighed, rubbing under her eyes with two fingers. 

“Ichigo. I have to act. You were the only person who triggered such an onset of behaviour.” Ichigo stared into her lap, tears falling from her cheeks. 

“Is it what’s best for Ikuno?” Nana paused, and nodded, her grip on her pen tightening. 

“Yes.” 

“Then do it. Do whatever you must do to me. Just,” She sniffed. “Do what’s best for her. Please.” Nana looked away. 

“Thank you for understanding.”

* * *

“And...this is our house...we live here…” Ikuno smirked and pulled her hand out of Zorome’s grasp. 

“I haven’t lost my memories!” She cried gently. He blushed slightly and rubbed the back of his head. 

“Oh..heh...yeah…” Ikuno cried out as her legs gave way without the support of the boy. Futoshi caught her, and held her up, his arm around her waist. Ikuno gripped her wooden crutch tightly. 

“Th-thank you, Futoshi.” He smiled. 

“No problem.” He helped her into the living room. where she sat onto the sofa, panting with the effort of movement. 

“Where’s Mitsuru?” She asked after a time. Futoshi shrugged. 

“He could be anywhere. I know he likes going for long walks, so maybe he’s outside.” Ikuno cocked her head. 

“He does?” Futoshi shrugged again. 

“As of late, yeah.” Ikuno nodded, processing this information. The two looked up as Ichigo entered the room, followed by Goro. At the sight of the girl, Ikuno tensed up, her knuckles whitening, her eyes wide with pure fear. Ichigo bit back her tears and sat down opposite her, the girl’s panicked breathing filling her ears. 

“I won’t hurt you.” Ichigo said gently, looking into Ikuno’s eyes. Ikuno squealed and tried to edge backwards in panic, her injured leg falling from the footstool. She curled up on the sofa, covering her head with her arms. 

“P-please...keep away from me…I don’t want to get hurt again…” 

“I wouldn’t hurt you, Kuno!” Ichigo cried angrily, rising to her feet. Goro pulled on her sleeve gently. 

“Ichigo...Ichigo no…” She scowled and smacked his hand away. 

“No! This is ridiculous!” She headed towards Ikuno, who screamed and curled up tighter. She held onto Ikuno’s wrists and stared at her in the face. Ikuno was crying with fear, her face white, her lip trembling. “Are you that afraid of me?” She asked in a low voice. Ikuno nodded sharply. “Do you think...do you really think...you’d get hurt because of me?” Ikuno nodded again, her dull eyes lacking their usual sharp green. “What am I to you?” Ichigo asked, dreading the answer. 

“A...a...our leader…” Ikuno whispered. Ichigo felt her stomach sink. 

“A leader. And nothing more?” Ikuno shook her head, her hands trembling. 

“Don’t hurt me…” Ichigo released Ikuno’s wrists. She staggered backwards. It was over. She had just got closer to Ikuno, and it was over. Whatever had happened to her, had messed up her memories and her perception of people...to the point where she was intensely afraid of Ichigo. 

But Ichigo hadn’t touched her. 

  
  
  


Ichigo lay in bed, listening to the sound of Ikuno’s breathing. It had taken some convincing for the girl to sleep in the same room as the person she feared the most, but she had eventually accepted her fate. Ichigo felt tears run down her face. Who could have done this to her? Who could have taken such a sweet, kind girl, and twisted her in such a way? She glanced at Ikuno out of the corner of her eye. The book lay untouched on the floor, just under her bed. The cat, which Ikuno had been so happy to receive, was now discarded to the side, it’s tail barely visible underneath the girl’s bed. Ichigo sniffed, and rolled over to face the wall. She hugged Augustus close to her chest. The final reminder of the most amazing days they had spent together, making snowcats, and having snowball fights. 

It all seemed like a distant dream now. 

Ichigo began to cry, her body shaking, her sobs echoing around the room.    
  


A hand on her shoulder made her gasp and swallow her sobs. She rolled over, to find herself staring into Ikuno’s dull green eyes. 

“Wh-what do you want?” She snapped, wiping her eyes. 

“Are you okay?” 

“L-like you care.” Ichigo rolled over again. J-just go a-away.” 

“But you’re crying-“

“Yeah? I-I didn’t notice.” Ichigo snapped again, her frustration swamping her sadness. “Maybe it's be-because the per-per-person I loved the muh-most in this whole world doesn’t e-even want to look at me anymore!” Ikuno raised her eyebrows. 

“Me?” Ichigo narrowed her eyes. 

“Muh-maybe you do have amn-“ She hiccuped. “Amnesia.” Ikuno shook her head. “Why are yuh-you so afraid of me?” Ichigo asked sadly, sniffing and wiping her eyes with the tail of the stuffed cat. “I never tou-touched you.” Ikuno sighed. 

“I-I’m not afraid  _ of  _ you.” Ichigo rolled over sharply. 

“Y-you’re not?” Ikuno shook her head. “Then what??” 

“I’m afraid  _ for  _ you. And for me.” Ikuno sighed, looking away. “Something doesn’t feel right when I see you. I feel like…I feel like I shouldn’t be even talking to you. I get so scared of what might happen to me if I do...and I don't know why.” 

“Then why now?” Ichigo asked, sitting up. Ikuno shrugged, and spoke the one answer that would keep Ichigo awake for days.

 

“Because they can’t see me when we’re alone. And if they can’t see me, they can’t hurt me.”

* * *

 

“Ichigo...I really don’t think-“

“Nana, I promise you! That’s what she said! Someone is going to hurt her!” Ichigo cried desperately.”Please help me keep her safe! I can’t watch her be like she was...I..I can’t do it!” Nana sighed. 

“What do you want me to do?” Ichigo’s head snapped up. 

“Watch her. Keep her under your watch. As close as you can.” Nana paused, mulling over the girl’s suggestion in her mind. 

“I’ll see what I can do. But this doesn’t clear you. You understand that, right?” Ichigo nodded, her gaze steely. 

“As long as Ikuno is safe.”

* * *

 

“Hey Kuno.” Ichigo’s head snapped up. Someone else was using her nickname for Ikuno? Her stomach fell as she saw the purple haired girl encased in the boy’s arms. She giggled and held his face in her hands. 

“Hey Mitsuru.” 

“You two seem very lovey dovey.” Hiro commented passively, Zero Two on his lap. Ikuno laughed, covering her face with her hands. Mitsuru pulled her closer, and kissed her on the cheek. Ichigo clenched her fists. 

“Yeah, I guess this close call taught us a lesson.” Ikuno nodded in agreement. 

“I never really noticed how much I needed him.” 

“Well, I’m happy for you both.” Hiro said, smiling warmly. “Very happy.” They nodded in reply, Mitsuru pulling her close.

 

**_SLAM._ **

 

The table turned to face Ichigo. Her cereal was splattered everywhere, her fist in the bowl. Her face was set, her eyes glinting with rage.

“I-Ichigo?” Goro asked uncertainly.She glared at the two partners, entwined in each other’s arms. 

“What’s  _ wrong _ with you, Ikuno?!” She snapped. Ikuno blinked. “What is  _ WRONG WITH YOU _ ?!”  

“W-wrong with me?” Ichigo slammed to her feet and grabbed Ikuno by the front of her uniform. Goro sprang up and grabbed her arms pulling her back. Ikuno shrieked and covered her face with her hands. Ichigo shook her violently, her eyes brimming with tears. 

“Ichigo!” 

“Ichigo!!” 

“GET OFF OF ME!” Ikuno screamed, her eyes wide and tears streaming down her face. Goro pulled Ichigo off of the girl, pinning her arms behind her back. Mitsuru pulled Ikuno into his arms. She buried her head in his chest, hyperventilating. 

“The Ikuno I know would  _ never  _ act like this! The Ikuno I know wouldn’t even  _ consider  _ getting close to Mitsuru, and...and  _ hugging him... _ and  _ kissing  _ him!!” Ichigo shrieked, her hands shaking. “SNAP OUT OF IT!” Ikuno wailed and hugged Mitsuru to her tighter. 

“Make her go away! Make her go away! I’m scared!” Mitsuru scowled and pushed Ichigo, hard, in the chest, sending her reeling backwards. Goro caught her, his glasses slipping down his face. 

“Mitsuru!” 

“She said go away.” The boy said flatly, his eyes narrowed. Ichigo looked up at him in fear, and watched as he caressed Ikuno again, kissing the top of her head.

 

And suddenly, Ikuno’s answer made perfect sense to her. 


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ichigo's code theme came on shuffle as I was writing the last bit and I made myself cry how about that
> 
> !trigger warning for self harm and I guess eating disorders as well!

“Ikuno?” Ikuno looked up from the book she had rested on her lap. 

“Hmm??” Her face dropped as Ichigo looked back at her. “L-look...015...I-I don’t want any trouble-“

“015?” Ikuno nodded. 

“Y-your code.” Ichigo felt her stomach twist. Ikuno’s behaviour had been getting rapidly worse since she had been discharged. Nana and Hachi had pinpointed the cause to be trauma to her head, which had scrambled her memories and a few cognitive functions. First, her fear of Ichigo. Then, her closeness to Mitsuru. And that was just the start of it. She was also eating noticeably less, her form becoming depleted and skeletal. Every time Futoshi or Kokoro forced her to eat, she was bent over the toilet minutes after, retching it back up. Now the girl was becoming weak and fatigued as a result of this, her body almost always on the edge of exhaustion. Her memories were also starting to become hazy; her perception of her position in the team warped. She saw Ichigo as a supreme leader...someone with authority and power. She saw herself as no more than an insignificant parasite. 

She didn’t even refer to Ichigo by her name anymore. 

 

It didn’t take a genius to figure out that this was the result of Ikuno’s mind failing her. She was dying. 

 

Ikuno was dying in front of Ichigo’s eyes. 

 

And there was nothing she could do. 

 

“What are you reading?” Ichigo asked gently, anxious to keep Ikuno in this subdued state. Ikuno regarded the girl warily. 

“Reading? I don’t read.” Ichigo felt her heart pull in her chest. “I...mean, I  _ can _ ...but not for fun.” Ichigo bit her lip. Ikuno was also experiencing a severe change in her personality. She was more outgoing when she was around Mitsuru, her smile and laugh were heard and seen more often, and she was hardly ever seen reading anymore. Whenever she was prompted to indulge in the hobby that had once been her solace, she shrugged it off, preferring to either tidy the room, or sit with a pen in her hand, scrawling into the red notebook Mitsuru had requested for her. 

Ikuno clapped the notebook shut. “I was just doodling a little before supper. I find it’s the best way to get out those feelings I can’t quite express.” Ichigo nodded knowingly. 

“Can I see?” Ikuno gripped the book protectively. 

“No!” She paused, her face paling. “I-I’m sorry, 015! You’re my leader...that was an order! I-I-

“It’s okay, Ikuno.” Ichigo said quietly. “Don’t do anything you don’t want to do.” Ikuno bowed her head. 

“Forgive my rudeness.” The girl stood up, fetching her wooden crutch that was resting against the sofa. She limped out of the room, leaving Ichigo alone, her lip trembling. 

 

Ikuno sat on the edge of her bed. She stared down at her hands. She had been rude to Ichigo! The leader of the squad! The one in charge! She sighed, clutching her head in her hands. Hesitating, she rolled down the sleeve of her left arm. Against her pale skin, several red lines stared back at her. She swallowed hard. She had only done it for the first time the previous week, but it had felt so good...so...deserving...that she was compelled to try again. She reached into her pillowcase and pulled out the knife she had swiped from dinner the previous day. Turning the blade over in her hand, she smiled. 

Since she had woken up in the hospital, nothing had felt right. She thought she loved Mitsuru, but part of her questioned this. Whenever he kissed her, she felt uneasy in her stomach. Whenever he caressed her body, she found herself gritting her teeth, her insides filled with fear. But surely...that was how it was supposed to be? 

How it had always been? 

She remembered very little of her life before she was admitted. Nana and Hachi had told her that she may never regain those memories again, but she had to trust the people around her to help rebuild her life and her place in the squad. And she had done that, with a little difficulty. 

The hardest part had been adjusting to Ichigo. 

From what she had been told, the two were very close. 

So why was she terrified of speaking to her, as if some higher power was watching her, judging her every move? 

She ran the blade lightly over her skin. The coldness of the metal stung her slightly. She exhaled and smiled. This made her heart race, her stomach twist. It filled her with adrenaline. 

She didn't even know who she was anymore. Every day she woke up and looked in the mirror, but she felt the eyes that stared back at her weren't her own. She struggled every day to continue with this life she was supposed to live, but at every turn, darkness clawed at her. Depression filled her veins. She got by some days on the knowledge that at the end she could lay down and sleep, escaping from this world of confusion and unrest. 

She felt like an anomaly, an out of place, jagged piece in this puzzle that was their lives. 

She dug the tip of the knife into her skin, and smiled.

After all, the pain she was about to experience was well deserved. 

 

Taking a deep breath, she raised the knife again, and quickly drew its blade across her skin, leaving a long red cut that oozed blood slowly. 

  
  


The squad ate their meal like usual, and decided that today would be an ideal day to sit and chat. ‘To adjust’, as Zorome had described it. It was these days that Futoshi loved the most. The squad would gather in front of a fire, and chat until the early hours of the morning, where they all drifted off to sleep slowly, one by one, the  sun’s pink rays tickling the dark room. 

He now sat on a few cushions, Kokoro in his arms. She giggled as he tightened his grip around her, and kissed her cheek softly. Turning his head towards her, she kissed him lightly on the lips. Futoshi burned a deep red, his eyes watering, and Kokoro laughed again, patting his cheek gently. Zorome laughed, seated closest to the fire, holding out several marshmallows speared on a stick. They slowly browned, the sugar snapping. Miku was next to him, glaring with disapproval at the boy’s antics, her facade dropping as he offered her a caramelised treat. 

Hiro and Zero Two had gone to the lake, as the girl had demanded she go for a late night swim. Hiro had complained audibly; the weather still had not quite adjusted to the point of being pleasant, but he had complied nonetheless. Goro was slouched on one of the sofas, Ichigo in his arms. She lay against his chest, her eyes shut, her breathing slow. He slowly stroked her hair, his own eyes drifting shut. On the other sofa, Mitsuru was sitting with Ikuno, his arms over her chest. She was also sleeping against him, her injured leg elevated, the red book clasped in her hand. Mitsuru lowered his head and kissed her neck gently. Ikuno shifted in her sleep, and moaned softly. 

“You two look comfy.” Goro remarked. Mitsuru blushed slightly. 

“You know...It’s okay.” 

“How about it, huh? Ikuno.” Mitsuru raised one eyebrow. 

“What’s that supposed to mean?” 

“You know, she is quite…” Goro raised his eyebrows, “Pretty.” Mitsuru blushed a little harder. 

“I guess.” He mumbled. Tucking her light purple hair behind her ear, he smiled. “Yeah.” He kissed her on her forehead. “She is.” 

“Tell us, Mitsuru!” Futoshi cried suddenly. Kokoro gasped and clapped her hands over his mouth. 

“Futoshi!” He laughed, pulling her hands away. 

“It’s okay!” Turning to the boy again, he nodded encouragingly. “Come on...tell us!” Mitsuru scowled.

“Tell you what?” 

“You know, all about you and Ikuno!” Zorome piped up. “Tell us all the secrets!” He scrambled onto his knees, his eyes alight with wonder. “Nobody goes from sworn enemies to...this!” He pointed to Ikuno’s hand, which was gripping his, even in her sleep. “It’s amazing!” 

“And so cute!” Kokoro said softly, her cheeks tinged pink. “Mitsuru, I’m so glad you could find someone who made you happy.” 

Miku crossed her arms grumpily. “Yeah…” Zorome turned to her, and wiggled his eyebrows. “What?!” 

“What’s the matter, Miku?” He teased, leaning towards her. She scrambled back, her hand out.

“Don’t you dare!” 

“Whaaat...afraid I might-” The boy lunged forward and pecked her on the cheek. “ _ Kiss ya _ ?” She squealed and wiped her face frantically. 

“That’s  _ GROSS _ !!” 

“No…” Futoshi said quietly, his arms around Kokoro. “That’s adorable.” 

Mitsuru shrugged. “I guess we...when she…” He paused. “Was admitted.” Wiping his nose with the back of his hand, he continued, “I realised...we realised...we needed each other. Without her, I’m nothing. As is she without me. If I’m not her partner...she’s nothing.” He sighed. “That’s why I have to be with her. I have to be there for her. I need to give her life meaning. As I need her to give mine meaning. She needs to be with me..." He stroked her cheek gently. "Forever." 

* * *

 

_ Ichigo opened her eyes. She was in a white room, with checkered floors. The white of the walls burned her eyes. Standing up, she dusted herself down, and looked around.  _

_ “H-hello?” Her voice echoed off the walls, and bounced back to her. She was alone.  _

**_Thud._ **

_ She tensed up as something heavy landed on the floor behind her. Turning slowly, she clapped her hands to her mouth as she saw the red blood spattered on the tiles. She felt her eyes fill with tears of fear.  _

_ “Ichigo?” Ichigo whipped round. _

_ “Naomi??” Naomi hung her head.  _

_ “So you’re here too.” Ichigo shook her head in confusion.  _

_ “H-here? Where is ‘here’...I...I don’t understand-”  _

_ “Where all the defective children go.” The blue haired girl began to shake.  _

_ “D-defective…” She turned to the body that lay on the floor behind her. “Wh-” _

_ “Who is that? Nobody knows.” The pale girl floated forward and put her hand on Ichigo’s shoulder. “Another useless child. They all end up here, you know. But they all reveal such secrets.”  Ichigo shook her head, perplexed by the vague and jumbled direction of the girl’s words. _

_ “And me?” She raised her eyebrows. “Why am I here?”  _

_ “Why  _ are  _ you here...why indeed…”  _

_ “Naomi, please!” Ichigo cried, her tears spilling over her cheeks. “Tell me!” Naomi began to walk away, her body fading into the light. “PLEASE!” The girl stopped and turned sadly.  _

_ “It’s not why you’re here. It’s who you’re here for.” Ichigo gasped.  _

_ “Ikuno…”  _

_ “ICHIGO!” Ichigo froze. She’d recognize her friend’s voice anywhere. Panting, she spun around, to face a long black corridor.  _

_ “I-IKUNO??” _

_ “ICHIGO!! HELP ME!!” Ikuno was scared. No, she was more than scared. She was petrified. She started to run, her feet hitting the floor and echoing down the corridor. Her heart was beating in her head. She felt sweat run down her face. She wasn’t going to lose Ikuno again...she wasn’t...she wasn’t… _

_ Approaching the nearest room, she pressed her hands onto the glass panel, and felt all the blood drain from her face.  _

_ Ikuno was lying on her side, breathing heavily. Her glasses were askew, and her eyes were closed. Ichigo clapped her hands over her mouth. She watched the Adult raise a large needle over her small body, filled with a yellow liquid. She barely had time to register what was happening, before the needle was slammed into the girl’s arm, her screams making Ichigo’s blood run cold.  _

_ “NO!” Ichigo screamed, banging onto the glass. Ikuno’s eyes opened. She reached out for Ichigo, her small hand outstretched. “NO!!”  _

_ “Ichigo....” Ikuno whispered. “Please...stop him..” Ichigo beat onto the glass, her mouth filling with the salty sensation of her tears.  _

_ “IKUNO! STOP WHO??”  _

_ “STOP HIM!” Ikuno shrieked. Ichigo opened her eyes. Ikuno was cowering on the floor, covering her head with her hands. A figure stood over her, holding a metal pole. Ikuno was beaten and bleeding, her body shaking.  _

_ “KUNO!! IKUNO!! NO!!” Ichigo beat the glass with her fists, her hands shaking, unable to break through and protect her friend. The figure turned to her, and raised its head into the light. Ichigo paled. _

_ Mitsuru raised his finger to his lips.  _

_ The pole was brought down onto Ikuno with a sickening crack. _

* * *

 

Ichigo sat up, panting. She gulped and massaged her chest, waiting for her breathing to return to normal. Looking around, the rest of the squad were asleep, the fire dwindling. She glanced at Ikuno and Mitsuru. They were wrapped in each other’s arms, sleeping softly. Ikuno’s hand weakly gripped her red notebook, the other placed on Mitsuru’s chest. He had encircled her body with one arm, the other encased her cheek, holding her close to him. Ichigo sighed, her pulse decreasing. Maybe she was being too suspicious and presumptuous. Maybe this was good for Ikuno. To be with someone who loved her. 

Mitsuru...he did love her...right…? 

Ichigo saw the way his fingers were digging into Ikuno’s waist. He was holding her tight. Very tight. 

**_Thud._ **

Ichigo clapped her hands over her mouth to stifle her screams. The thud had sounded much like the falling body in her nightmare. Glancing around in alarm, she relaxed as she saw that Ikuno’s notebook had fallen to the floor, it’s pages bent against the wooden floorboards. 

Ichigo froze. 

The red notebook...the blood…

Naomi’s voice rang back to her. 

_ “They reveal such secrets…” _

She slowly edged over to the book and picked it up. She froze as Goro shuffled in his sleep, snoring slightly. She paused. Was she about to enter Ikuno’s private thoughts? The invasion of her friend’s privacy was the last thing she wanted to be guilty of. 

Ikuno stirred in her sleep, Mitsuru’s grip on her tightening. Her face twisting with disgust, Ichigo shook her head, flicking it open. Instantly, she felt her heart drop out of her chest. 

It was her. 

 

She inspected the page carefully. It was definitely a drawing of her, her hairclip defined in the blue mass of her hair. And next to  her...Ikuno…

They were sitting together on the beach, under a towel, like they had done all those weeks ago. 

Underneath, several sentences of writing.

_ ‘Today, I had a dream. I was with Ichigo. We were on the beach, It felt so real, I could almost smell the salt. I could almost feel the breeze. I need to know why I can dream about her, but not bring myself to speak to her. I feel so scared. I hope one day, this goes away, and we might be able to do this for real.”  _

Ichigo felt tears spring into her eyes. She flicked forward a few pages. There was another drawing, of Ikuno, sitting alone. She could see the lake, and the green blanket wrapped around her shoulders. 

_ ‘I had another dream. I was sitting outside. There was a shadow figure there too. He was horrible to me. He taunted me. He made me feel small. Then he hit me. It hurt. I remember the pain. It felt real. I don’t like this shadow figure. He is in all my dreams. And he keeps getting closer.”   _

Upon closer inspection of the image, Ichigo could make out a tall figure, messily scribbled in by the dark graphite of the pencil. She swallowed and flicked forward. 

Her tears spilled over. 

Ikuno, pinned to the floor by the shadow figure, sloppily drawn tears running down her friend’s face. 

_ ‘This was the worst nightmare yet. Please...make it stop...It hurts...Inside of me it hurts...I can feel it...He’s on top of me...inside me...there’s so much pain…please...kill me…”  _

Ichigo flipped the pages over. 

**_KILL ME_ **

She blinked. That was all that was on the page, the graphite splintering and smudging on the pale paper. She flicked over again. 

**_KILL ME. PLEASE._ **

Again. 

**_PLEASE SOMEONE MAKE IT STOP._ **

And again-

**_HE WON’T STOP HE WON’T STOP KILL ME KILL ME PLEASE KILL ME HE WON’T LET ME GO…_ **

Ichigo bit her lip. Her heart ached, her head felt light. She flicked over to the next page, the one prior to the one Ikuno had been drawing on during their encounter earlier that day. 

Her heart stopped. 

It was Augustus. 

The cat’s smile stared at her from the page. Ichigo steeled herself, and looked for the writing underneath. 

_ ‘I saw this cat in my dreams. He was beautiful, and so familiar. I felt safe with him. For the first time in weeks, I feel like I can be safe in my dreams, as long as he’s with me.’  _

Biting back her sobs, she flicked to the last page. Her stomach dropped. She felt nausea rise up in her throat. 

Ikuno was standing, an unnaturally large grin on her graphite face, a knife in her hand. Her arm was riddled with red lines, and there was red tears falling from her face. 

One word was written underneath, in a pale diluted red, which was smeared onto the paper. 

**_SUFFER._ **

Ichigo dropped the book in alarm. The red had bled through the paper. 

 

It wasn't ink. 

 

Ikuno stirred in her sleep again, her eyes fluttering open. Ichigo stared at her, mid retreat. Ikuno stared back, her eyes wide. Her mouth opened to scream. Ichigo held her hand to her mouth in desperation, pleading with her eyes for the girl to remain silent. Ikuno slowly shut her mouth. She glanced down at her notebook. Reaching down, her sleeve rode up her arm, exposing the first few raw cuts on her skin. Panicking, she quickly pulled it down, covering her injuries. Ichigo breathed a sigh of relief, her body relaxing. 

“015.” 

“I-Ikuno.” 

“Are you okay?” Ichigo nodded, wiping her forehead. “Can’t sleep?” Ichigo nodded again. Ikuno prised herself out of Mitsuru’s grip, standing up and handing her right hand out to the girl. “Here.” Ichigo took her hand, marvelling at how thin and fragile it had become. Ikuno pulled her to her feet, and smiled shyly. Ichigo’s breath caught in her throat. For a fleeting moment...she saw the old Ikuno...the girl who blushed whenever she entered the room...the girl who made her tea and read to her…

Then Ikuno’s face fell. 

“D-do you want to go outside?” Ichigo asked nervously. “Nana said there’s supposed to be a marvel in the sky today.” Ikuno looked out the window at the large moon, her dull green eyes reflecting its light. 

“Sure.” 

  
  
  


The two girls stepped outside, the cool air brushing against their skin, and blowing their hair gently. Ichigo stepped onto the grass first, shivering as the cool dirt made contact with her bare feet. It felt gritty, but cool and soft. She paused, wiggling her toes. Ikuno hobbled down after her, her wooden crutch sinking into the soft ground. 

“I-it’s cold!” Ikuno cried, her face falling. Ichigo felt her chest tighten. She was no longer in the woods, but at a sunlit beach, the girl edging into the cool ocean water. She turned to Ikuno, and smiled sadly. 

“Yeah, a little. Don’t be so picky.” She gently pulled Ikuno towards her, the moon illuminating her light purple hair. Together they walked across the grass, to the clearing that lay next to the lake. Ichigo sat down onto the cold grass, her companion following her lead. They sat in silence for a long time, Ichigo picking at the blades of grass under her, Ikuno staring at the surface of the lake. 

“Why did you bring me here, 015?” Ikuno asked nervously, her gaze not shifting from the body of water. Ichigo sighed deeply. 

“I miss you, Ikuno.” 

“Miss me? I’m here-“

“That’s not what I mean.” Ichigo snapped. “I know the real you is in there somewhere. Not this..” She wiped her eyes. “Reclusive impersonator.” Ikuno looked around to face Ichigo. Ichigo gasped. The lake behind her sparkled in the moonlight, as did her eyes. Her loose hair was blowing gently in the breeze, and her cheeks were tinged pink. 

“What’s the matter?” Ikuno asked gently. Ichigo sniffed and hung her head. 

“Y-you’re so beautiful.” She sobbed. “I...I love you…so much. I can’t help it.” Unable to contain herself anymore, she hunched forward, sobbing hard into her hands. Ikuno hesitated, then reached out, her hand hovering over Ichigo’s back uncertainly. “You said...you were afraid of losing me…” Ichigo coughed. “B-but I lost you! And now...I’ll never have you back! I-I lost you!! I...I lost you forever!!” Ichigo dissolved into sobs, her back heaving. Ikuno gritted her teeth, and placed her hand onto Ichigo’s back. The girl sat up sharply. “I-ikuno?” 

“I’m here.” She smiled. “I might not be like I was before. But I’m here. Here with you. I promise, I won’t go away. Not as long as you need me.” Ichigo’s lip trembled, and she threw herself onto Ikuno, pulling her tightly into a hug.  “015!”

“Oh...oh Kuno…I miss you! I miss how we used to stay up late and talk...I miss how you used to read to me…I miss…” Ichigo pulled back, gazing sadly into Ikuno’s eyes. “I miss this...even though we only did it once.” She leaned in, and kissed Ikuno on the lips. Ikuno’s eyes widened. She felt Ichigo’s soft lips on hers. Warm, and pleasant. It felt natural. Familiar. Ichigo slowly pulled back, her eyes swimming with fresh tears. “B-but you probably don’t like that, right? You probably think there’s something wrong with me.” Ikuno shook her head. 

“Not at all.” Ichigo sighed. 

“Did you feel anything?” 

“No.” Ikuno lied. “Was I supposed to?” Ichigo looked away, her heart breaking. 

“No.” She whispered. Ikuno shrugged indifferently. Ichigo was broken inside. That was it. Her last attempt at trying to rejog Ikuno’s memories...gone. There was nothing else she could do. Ikuno was gone forever. 

 

She had lost. 


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so pissed off its 2am and the chapter deleted itself so I rewrote it

Ikuno held out her arms.

“Look, we aren’t partners, so our kiss wouldn’t have worked, but I can at least offer you physical comfort, right?” Ichigo shrugged, lowering herself into the girl’s embrace. Ikuno shut her eyes and sighed, feeling Ichigo’s arms around her, breathing in the familiar scent of the girl’s strawberry shampoo.  


**_SNAP_ **

Ikuno screamed and reeled backwards, her eyes wide. Ichigo stared at her, her hands out in alarm.

“Ikuno?!” Ikuno clutched her head and cried out in pain. She had felt a snapping in her head upon inhaling the strawberry scent, and now her entire mind burned with the feeling of overwhelming pain. “Kuno!”

**_SNAP_ **

Ikuno screamed again, pulling at her hair. She curled up into a fetal position and sobbed, her body shaking. 

“Ikuno!” 

**_SNAP_ **

Mitsuru, glaring at her from her doorway. 

**_SNAP_ **

Mitsuru, advancing on her with the pole.

**_SNAP_ **

The pole swinging towards her head.

**_SNAP_ **

Black.

**_SNAP_ **

Ichigo, hugging her close, her lips on the girl’s, a stuffed cat held between them.

**_SNAP_ **

Ikuno opened her eyes. She was lying, face up on the grass. The smell of nature filled her nostrils. Turning her head slowly, she gasped for air, the cold sensation filling her throat. Ichigo was bent over her, her face twisted in alarm.

“I-Ichigo?”

“Ikuno!” Ikuno coughed and sat up slowly, massaging her chest.

“Wh-what happened?” Ichigo shook her head.

“Y-you just started screaming...a-and then you were on the floor, and I couldn’t wake you up!” Ichigo wiped her eyes. “I thought you died!” Ikuno rubbed her eyes.

“It felt like it.” She coughed again. “How long was I out?” Ichigo shrugged.

“A couple of min-” She froze. “What did you just call me?” Ikuno blinked cluelessly.

“Ichigo. Isn’t that your name?” Ichigo’s mouth dropped open. “What?”

“I-Ikuno?” Ikuno shuffled nervously.

“What??” She edged away from Ichigo, her heart speeding up. “You’re acting weird!-”

“Do you remember who I am?” Ikuno pulled a face of disapproval and disgust.

“Of course? What do you think I am?” She shook her head sadly and rolled her eyes. “I better get back. Mitsuru will lose his mind if he wakes up and I’m gone.” Ichigo hung her head.

“Right.” Ichigo watched the girl push herself to her feet, and limp away, the shooting stars falling silently above her head. She didn’t know what had just happened, but she was sure that whatever it was, had jogged something in Ikuno’s memory, even if the girl was unaware of it.

 

And it was at that moment, she decided that she was going to do whatever it took to get her friend back.  


 

“Gran what?” Miku asked, cocking her head.

“Gran Crevasse.” Nana repeated firmly. “We need you to break into it. All Plantations are a part of this mission. It’s what you’ve been leading up to your whole lives. It’s what defines you as Parasites.” Zorome fist pumped the air excitedly.

“Papa requested this?” Nana nodded. “All right!!”

“This sounds dangerous.” Kokoro squeaked, her hands shaking slightly. Futoshi held them firmly in his own.

“I’ll protect you, Kokoro! As long as we’re in the Genista together, I’ll protect you!” She smiled shyly, blushing.

“Sure, sure.” Zero Two snapped irritably. “It’s not like this can be done anyway.” The children turned to face her, their faces dropping.

“What do you mean?” Ichigo asked sharply. The pink haired girl shrugged and flicked her hair behind her shoulders.

“People have been trying for YEARS to get inside that.” She pointed at the screen. “It cannot be done. I’ve seen countless Parasites die trying.” Ichigo glanced at Ikuno, The girl was staring at the screen with a strange expression on her face. “But, sure, feel free to try.”

“Wh...Die?!” The leader cried in alarm. “B-b…” She paused, only one thought preoccupying her mind. “Chlorophytum better take it easy on this mission then...It’s barely back on the field, and-“ Ikuno scoffed. All eyes turned to her. She shrugged, her attitude almost perfectly mirroring that of her partner.

“Why are you so stressed? Dying is part of life. Who are we to live without expecting death?”

“Ikuno…” Nana began, her voice stern. Ikuno raised one eyebrow and continued.

“Maybe the promise of death is beckoning to some people.”

“Ikuno.”

“Maybe I _want_  to go out there, knowing I could die, because I want it!!!-“

“IKUNO!” Nana snapped angrily.

“STOP TALKING LIKE YOU KNOW WHAT’S BEST FOR ME!” Ikuno yelled at the small girl, her cheeks turning a dark pink. Mitsuru placed a hand on her shoulder, calming her rage. He pulled her close, encasing her body in his arms, and hushing her soothingly. Nana rubbed her temples with her fingers and sighed.

“That’s enough. You are all dismissed until further notice.” The squad stood up and began to file out in silence. “Ikuno?” The purple haired girl stopped. Nana beckoned with her finger for her to approach. Mitsuru gently pushed her forward, the door shutting behind him. Ikuno approached the woman, her hands slipping over each other nervously.

“Nana I’m sorry-”

“I need you to come with me.” Ikuno nodded, hanging her head in shame.  


 

“Mitsuru?” The olive haired boy stopped. Ichigo beckoned with her finger for him to approach. He sighed and rolled his eyes, walking up to her. “C-can I talk to you alone for a moment?” He shrugged 

“Sure.”

The two headed outside into the woods. The weather was starting to warm up, and the faint birdsong was floating down towards them from the trees. Ichigo inhaled slowly, taking in the slight humidity, and the warm sunlight fighting through the leaves.

“So…” Mitsuru asked slowly, raising one eyebrow. “What is it?” Ichigo sighed deeply, wringing her hands.

“Are you…” She paused. “Did you…” She paused again, unable for formulate her question properly. “On the day at the beach...After I left...What happened to Ikuno?” Mitsuru raised his eyebrows together, a pang of anxiety shooting through his stomach.

“Why do you think I would know?”

“Because I saw you go towards those rock pools. Futoshi said Ikuno ran off there too. She would have seen you. So...what happened to her?” Mitsuru scowled.

“I wouldn’t know that!” He snapped. “I’m not some babysitter for some pathetic-” He stopped, pursing his lips.

“So, Ikuno’s pathetic???” Ichigo snapped, her cheeks darkening. “I knew it! I _knew_ something was wrong! Ikuno would _never_ be so close with you unless something was bothering her!” She jabbed Mitsuru in his chest. He caught ahold of her wrist.

“Watch yourself.” He said darkly. “Don’t get involved where you don’t belong.”

“Get off!” Ichigo pulled against him and scowled. “I’m onto you, you know. I can’t tell Nana without proof, but I know you’re doing something to her.” Mitsuru smirked, his eyes glinting.

“And what would that be?” He asked silkily, leaning towards the girl. Ichigo squirmed uncomfortably. Mitsuru was trying to get into her head. Like he had undoubtedly done to Ikuno.

And now she was dying.

She had to protect her friend.

 

“You’re afraid that I might be giving Ikuno what she deserves?” He continued, shrugging. “You’re afraid that this might be what _needs_ to happen-"

"Nobody _needs_ to suffer!!” Ichigo snapped. “You only deserve to be treated like you treat other people!” Mitsuru stepped back in surprise.

“So...on that note...You deserve to be ignored and shunned?” Ichigo looked up sharply, her blue hair swinging around her face.

“What do you mean?”

“Nothing.” Mitsuru put his hands behind his head and began to saunter back to the house. “We’re done here.”

“NO!” Ichigo shouted, her voice ricocheting off the trees and bushes. “COME BACK!” Mitsuru held up his hand, continuing to walk away. The girl was shaking. Mitsuru had all but confessed. She had to protect Ikuno...she had to keep her away from Mitsuru…

Her breath caught in her throat.

The mission to Gran Crevasse…

Ikuno was as good as dead if she piloted with him. Ichigo clenched her fists.

 

She had to do what was right.

  
  


Lying awake in her bed, the leader found herself at a loss of what actually she had to do that _was_ the right thing. She knew that Ikuno and Mitsuru piloting together would be a suicide mission for the girl; as it was she could barely make it up the stairs without finding herself short of breath. But to send the squad out for such a dangerous mission without the aid of the second most all-round FRANXX behind Strelitzia…

Would she risk Ikuno’s life, or all their lives?

She rolled onto her back, facing the white painted ceiling. Drawing her legs up, she sighed and covered her face with her arm. Was this what being a leader was truly like? Making life or death decisions? She’d never had to do that before. Nana always delegated to her. The last time this sort of situation had arisen, Hiro and Zero Two had almost died. As had they, on their first mission where they had not had the assistance of Strelitzia or Chlorophytum. Pushing down the nausea in her stomach, she covered her face with her hands, and rubbed her eyes wearily. Was this what being a leader was truly like?

A small moaning in the bed next to hers caused Ichigo to freeze. She held her breath as Ikuno stirred in her sleep, the moaning growing and becoming louder and more panicked. Her bedsheets started to rise and fall as her limbs began flailing. Ichigo gripped the cat tighter as the sound of her screams filled the air.

“NO! NO! GET OFF ME! NO! PLEASE!!! DON’T HURT ME! DO-DON’T! NO! **NO!** ” Ichigo sat bolt upright and leaped out of her bed, grabbing onto Ikuno’s shoulders.

“IKUNO!!” Ikuno continued to scream, her eyes squeezed shut, her white teeth bared. “KUNO!” Ichigo shook the girl violently by the shoulders. Ikuno raised her arms in self defence, still trapped in her own nightmare.

“MITSURU!!!” She screamed at the top of her lungs her body shaking in fear. “DON’T HURT ME ANYMORE! PLEASE!” Ichigo froze. Ikuno’s head snapped onto her chest, and her body went limp. The two girls sat in silence, the atmosphere tense. After a moment, Ikuno stirred, raising her head weakly. She glanced around in surprise, her face paling. “I...Ichigo?” Ichigo continued to stare at the girl, her expression blank. “Ichi?” Ichigo blinked suddenly, and started, wiping her eyes.

“O-oh..Ikuno..” She held the girl’s hands in both of her own. “Are you okay?” Ikuno sniffed in response. “Kuno?” Ikuno sniffed again, staring into space. “Listen...listen, Ikuno…” Ichigo held the girl’s face in her hands gently. “I really...really need to talk to you."

 

 

“Mind telling me what this is about?” Ikuno asked slowly. Ichigo sighed and opened the small fridge that was situated in the kitchen. Pulling out a carton of milk, she seperated the opening, and placed it on the table in front of her friend. 

“It might get a little personal.” She reached into the cupboard and pulled out a glass, setting it down next to the carton. Ikuno shrugged awkwardly, sniffing and wiping her few remaining tears from her eyes.

“I guess I don’t have a choice.” The girl watched the white liquid pour into the glass from the carton, swirling and filling it up. Ichigo pushed the glass towards her.

“Here.” Ikuno took it in her hands, sniffing and swallowing hard. “Drink this.” 

“Thanks.” Ikuno raised it to her lips slowly, sipping at the cold liquid. “So…” Ichigo cleared her throat and sniffed. Shuffling awkwardly, she took a seat opposite her friend, and took a deep  breath.

“What is your relationship with Mitsuru?” Ikuno choked slightly on her drink in surprise. Setting it down on the table, she wiped her mouth with the back of her hand, regaining her composure.

“He’s my partner.” Ichigo raised her eyebrows.

“But you...you kissed?” Ikuno shook her head. Ichigo  was in shock. She was sure she’d seen them kissing before. But then-  

“We have kissed...just...not like we did.” Ikuno’s cheeks coloured slightly, gesturing to the girl. “Our kiss…” Ichigo blushed furiously.

“Forget that, It wasn’t my place.” Ikuno shrugged dismissively.

“The fault was mine.” She sipped at her drink again, the pale light from the moon streaming in through the window. “So,” She began again after a moment of silence. “Mitsuru is my partner.” She glanced at Ichigo over the rim of her cup. “Anything else?” Ichigo bit her lip. The thought of the impending Gran Crevasse battle flooded her brain. She had to bite the bullet. Ikuno’s life was at stake.

“Has he hurt you?” Ikuno slammed the cup down onto the table, her face pale. The milk sloshed over the side, creating a pool on the wooden surface of the table.

“Why would you think that?” Ikuno asked in a low voice. Ichigo placed her hand on top of her friend’s, the cold sensation burning her skin.

“Ikuno…” Ikuno looked up sharply, gasping, tears forming in her eyes. “Has Mitsuru hurt you?”

“I...I…”

“Please...tell me. I can go to Nana...I can get this all sorted out for you...I can make it go away…” Ikuno bit her lip. She bowed her head, tears dripping into her lap. “Has he hurt you?”

 

Ichigo felt her heart rip into pieces as Ikuno nodded.

  


Futoshi yawned, and reached over his bunk. Zorome was beneath him, snoring loudly, his arm clutching his football. Mitsuru was sleeping silently, his back facing the two boys. Flipping onto his back, he tossed and turned for a longer time, before reaching the ultimate conclusion that attempting to sleep was useless. Sighing, he climbed down off his bunk and massaged his stomach. It growled in response. Smiling to himself, he tiptoed to the door and slipped out, his mind already formulating what sort of midnight snack he would be able to pull together.

 

“Ikuno, I can’t go unless you tell me what it is he did to you.” Ikuno shook her head violently, her tears rolling down her face. “Please…”

“No!” The girl squeaked. “I’ve told you enough as it is!” Ichigo sighed in frustration.

 “You won’t be in trouble...you just-” The two girls looked up as the door opened, and Futoshi entered. He froze and felt a blush creep up on his neck at the sight of the two girls alone together.

“Oh...uh...Ichigo...Ikuno!” He backed up instantly, indicating his intention to leave. “I can...uh..”

“No, no Futoshi.” Ikuno sniffed wiping her eyes and taking a deep breath. “You can come in. I was just leaving.” She staggered to her feet, pushing her chair in. Instantly, Ichigo was on her feet as well, her hand firmly gripping Ikuno’s skinny wrist. Ikuno winced and bit her lip as she felt her cuts open anew.

“You aren’t going anywhere.” She snapped. “Sit.” Ikuno begrudgingly obliged, her body trembling. She pulled her wrist out of Ichigo’s grip, and massaged it gently, attempting to reduce the stinging shooting through her body.  

“I don’t know what else you want from me.”

“I know you don’t remember much from before you were...in that coma…” Ichigo bit her lip. “But it’s important you tell me.” Futoshi sat next to Ikuno, putting his arm around her.

“What’s wrong?” Ikuno sighed, tears spilling over. Great. Now _Futoshi_ was involved. Why wouldn’t Ichigo just tell the _entire house_???

“I-It’s nothing.” Ichigo crossed her arms. She wouldn’t let Ikuno suffer like this anymore. Enough was enough.

“Futoshi…I think Mitsuru has been abusing Ikuno.” Futoshi’s face paled. He shook his head in denial. There was no way that Mitsuru would do something like that to Ikuno...sweet, kind Ikuno...who helped him when he felt bad, and taught him about different recipes she had read in old books. He looked at the girl in alarm.

“No…”

“It’s not ‘abuse’.” Ikuno snapped defensively. “Abuse is when the victim doesn’t deserve their treatment.”

“B-but you don’t!” Futoshi cried.

“I do!!” Ikuno snapped back. “He’s only doing what’s best for me! To protect me! You know what that’s like?” Futoshi hung his head and nodded.

“I do. But, Ikuno…” The girl raised one eyebrow. “You know...I love Kokoro. And as a result...I’d never hurt her.” Ikuno shrugged.

“And?” Futoshi took a deep breath, picking his words carefully.

“If you really love someone...you’d never hurt them, because seeing them in pain, is like being in pain yourself.” Ikuno’s eyes widened slightly. “S-so, if Mitsuru is hurting you, then-“

“Whoever said that was happening?” Ikuno snapped. Ichigo opened her mouth for a rebuttal, but Ikuno shook her head. “I mean the hurting business. Mitsuru does what he does because he loves me, and he wants me to be safe. He knows if I go out there like I am, they’ll take me away! And I’m grateful... _every day_...I am grateful, that he does that for me. And the last thing I need is two white knights thinking they know what’s best for me, or telling me that what my partner is doing to me is wrong!” She stood up sharply and limped out of the room, panting with the effort of such a strenuous movement. Ichigo and Futoshi sat in silence, staring after her. Ikuno had confessed that Mitsuru hurt her, but she didn’t seem to be bothered by this. If anything, she welcomed it. She welcomed his abuse with open arms...saying she deserved it.

 

And that wasn’t right.

 

Ikuno sighed and replaced the knife inside her pillowcase. She lay on her bed, panting, allowing the stinging sensation to overtake her arms. It distracted her from the ailments of her social relationships, so right now, it was a good a remedy as anything else she might get.

Her heart was pounding. She had almost confessed everything to Ichigo. After the incident by the lake, she would occasionally get these ‘snaps’, where she would remember a snapshot of something that happened in the past, giving her more clues as to who she shouldn’t trust.

Almost all of the snaps were about either Ichigo, or Mitsuru.

She angrily grabbed her pillow from underneath her and threw it at the floor. It bounced off the hard wooden floorboards, and slid under Ikuno's bed and out of sight. She rolled her eyes. Typical. 

Reaching under her bed, she winced as her fingertips encountered dust bunnies, and clusters of dust. She continued to explore the dark crevice, feeling for the soft cotton of the pillowcase. She froze as her fingers encountered something furry. Squealing, she withdrew them instantly. Was it a rat?? How did it get in??? 

Balancing herself carefully, she lowered her head down to look underneath her bed. The glassy eyes of a stuffed animal stared back at her. Sighing in relief, she pulled the animal out by its tail. It was probably one of Ichigo's she had misplaced. The girl often slept with a few stuffed animals by her side. Dusting it down, Ikuno frowned. It didn't look like one she had seen Ichigo with before. It was brown, its fur speckled with dust, and even from that distance, Ikuno could tell that it smelled faintly of strawberries. Hesitating, she held it to her chest and hugged it, like she had seen Ichigo do in her sleep. 

_**SNAP** _

_(Not again...)_

 

_“I have something for you.” Ikuno raised her eyebrows. Ichigo was holding a box, much like the ones they received from Papa, but much larger. Ikuno pushed herself up into a sitting position, leaning against the headboard._

_“For me?” Ichigo nodded._

_“Here.” She held it out. Ikuno gingerly took it._

_“Ichigo...you know I don’t deser-“_

_“Would’ya just open it??” Ichigo begged, her eyes sparkling. Ikuno sighed and tore the wrapping off the box. She carefully pulled off the lid, and glanced inside. She gasped. The lid fell to the bedsheets._

_“Ichigo…"_

 

**_SNAP_ **

_(Please...no more...)_

_Does it have to be a man?” Ichigo shrugged._

_“I guess not. Why, what did you want?” Ikuno paused._

_“A...uh…a snowcat?” She suggested weakly. Ichigo nodded enthusiastically, her eyes lighting up._

_“We can make Augustus!” She grabbed a handful of snow. “This will be the best snowcat ever!!”_

 

Ikuno opened her eyes. She was on the floor, her body bathed in sweat, her head pounding. A way away from her, on the wooden floorboards, the cat was staring at her, its glassy eyes reflecting her own pained expression. She turned her head. Under her bed, next to her pillow, was a book. Ikuno steeled herself, before reaching towards it and retrieving it. Wiping the cover from dust, she flicked it open. She frowned as she realised all the words were in English. She could read English good enough, but why would she own a book in it? Flicking to the dogeared page near the end, Ikuno sat up, and began to read, her curiosity taking her over. 

As she read, she felt her stomach sink further and further down, her eyes filling with tears, her heart breaking in her chest. 

She knew now. She could try her best to recover what she had lost, and she could try her best to regain control of her life...but it would all be for nothing. For now she knew...as the last sentences of the book that had once filled her with hope and joy stared out at her...

There was no such thing as a happy ending.


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh boy 3am! 
> 
> !trigger warning again! 
> 
> the plot thickens (tm)
> 
> A very very short one before the final part of the story comes together 
> 
> I'm glad you enjoyed it if you read to this far!

“Ikuno?” Ichigo knocked on the bedroom door carefully. The knocks echoed around the corridor, causing the girl to break out in a cold sweat. The last thing she wanted was to awaken the charismatic Miku, and the pensive Kokoro. She could do without those two being involved in this situation...it was delicate enough as things stood. What she needed now, the most important and vital thing she needed, was to get Ikuno to Nana as soon as possible. She needed to get her to where she would be safe, so they could start to heal her and help her recover. Futoshi was downstairs, ready and waiting, having made the call to Nana to come and retrieve Ikuno from the house. They needed to get Mitsuru away from her. Frowning at her friend’s lack of cooperation, she knocked on the door harder. “Ikuno!” Jiggling the handle, she sighed. Ikuno had locked it from the inside. “Open the door!” 

Silence. 

“Ikuno! I know you’re in there! Look, we don’t have to do anything rash...we can take it slowly; as slow as you want! Just please...let me in!” 

Silence. 

Her panic rising, Ichigo hammered on the door, her fist hitting the wood with loud thuds. “IKUNO! KUNO???” The door slightly further down the corridor opened, and Miku emerged into the corridor, rubbing her eyes sleepily. 

“Ichigo…” 

“What’s going on?” Kokoro’s anxious voice cut through the corridor, and she appeared after her roomate, her blonde hair slightly dishevelled. “Is everything okay?” Ichigo bit back her tears of panic, shaking her head. Everything, in fact, was not okay. She had a dull feeling in the pit of her stomach, indicating something was terribly wrong. She placed her palm onto their bedroom door, sliding it down the smooth wood slowly, feeling it’s cold sensation under her burning skin.

“G-Goro…” She whispered. “I need Goro. Now…” Miku sighed irritably, desperate to retreat back to her warm bed, which was no doubt cooling down by now. 

“You go.” She snapped at Kokoro. “I’m fed up of this whole Ikuno drama.” She stalked back into her room, slamming her door shut behind her. Kokoro flinched, then sighed, turning to Ichigo apologetically. The leader was slouching slightly, her hand still against their door, her lip trembling.

“Don’t mind her. She’s just sensitive. She’s scared that something will happen to Ikuno. And she’s scared about the upcoming mission. We all are. Don’t worry.” The girl put her hand on Ichigo’s shoulder as she passed her. “Just keep asking Ikuno to open the door. She can’t stay inside there forever.” She sprinted off down the hallway, her bare feet thudding on the carpet, her hair splaying out behind her. Ichigo sighed. Kokoro was right. Ikuno couldn’t stay in there forever. She had to give. Clenching her hand into a fist, she rapped on the door again. 

“Kuno...I get you’re scared. I get you’re worried. But don’t worry. We can get through this together, okay? I promise you. I’ll be here for you. Forever. I promised you that.” She ran her hand down the door again. “I love you.” She whispered, pressing her forehead against the door. “I love you more than anything else in this world. You  _ are  _ my world. I...I can’t lose you to this.” She felt tears run down to the tip of her nose, dripping onto the carpet. “Please…Please...you are my Darling. I know that now. Darling…” She sniffed. “Open the door...please…” 

“Wow.” Ichigo’s head snapped up. Miku was standing in her doorway, her eyes swimming with tears. “So...it’s like that?” Ichigo swallowed hard and nodded. Miku smiled softly and walked up to her leader. 

“I-I know it’s wrong!” Ichigo sobbed. “I know we-we’re defective! But-“

“You aren’t defective.” Miku interrupted, pulling Ichigo into a warm hug. “I know what I said. I was wrong. You two are as efficient as any two Pistils.” Ichigo gulped and nodded, her body shaking. “You two deserve to be happy. And if that means you find happiness in each other, then so be it.” Ichigo sniffed, burying her head into Miku’s shoulder. The girl stroked her back carefully, supporting her body through every soul shaking sob. “Don’t cry, Ichigo. You have nothing to be sad or sorry for.” Miku held her out and wiped the girl’s tear’s gently. Ichigo gulped and nodded, taking several deep breaths in order to calm herself. “Does Ikuno make you happy?” Ichigo nodded, blushing furiously. Miku smiled. “She’s your Darling?” 

“She’s to me wh-what Hiro is to Ze-ze-zero Two…I-Miku?!” 

Miku was rapping hard on the door, her face set, her hair bouncing around her shoulders. 

“Ikuno?! Open the door! Now! Don’t make me break it down!!

“Miku..”

“Let’s get your Darling.” Miku said, smiling in the mischievous way that only she could pull off. Ichigo smiled, wiping her tears. She joined Miku, hitting against the solid wood of the door. Ikuno’s lack of response was scaring her a great deal admittedly, but she had to remain strong in the hope that it was the girl’s newfound attitude that was holding her back. The thudding of feet against the carpet faded back in, and Kokoro appeared, followed by Hiro and Zero Two. 

“S-sorry!” The girl gasped, panting. “They wanted….to come…” Ichigo nodded. 

“That’s okay.” 

“What’s going on?” Goro asked in alarm, ruffling his hair. Ichigo indicated to the door. 

“Goro...please...help me break into this room.” Goro stared at his partner in shock. “I mean it.” She said, her voice firm. “Ikuno isn’t opening the door, or responding at all, and I’m scared for her. Very, very scared for her. Please.” Sighing, the tall boy massaged his temples. 

“Fine. Fine. But, if I do this for you, I’m not taking the fall, and Hachi’s wrath, for destroying the walls.” Ichigo nodded earnestly. Goro turned to his two companions. “Shall we?”    
  


Hiro and Goro grunted as they threw their weights against the wooden door. They richoched off, the door shaking on its hinges. Ichigo watched them nervously, wringing her hands over one another. Ikuno wasn’t even responding to this. Something was wrong. And they had to get inside. Fast. 

Zero Two yawned and pushed the boys aside. They grumbled, rubbing their shoulders. The girl cracked her knuckles, causing Kokoro to wince. She inhaled sharply once, before raising one leg and kicking the door squarely in the middle. It jumped backwards slightly, having been broken off its hinges, and fell with a loud thud onto the floor of the bedroom. The children immediately started congratulating the girl, clapping and complimenting her sheer strength.

Ichigo did not do that. 

 

She was staring, her face pale, at what lay inside the room, shrouded by darkness. 

 

Stepping over the door carefully, she fell to her knees, her entire body feeling like nothing more than liquid, wobbly jelly, that was about to melt and trickle away. 

 

Ikuno was lying on her side, a brown stuffed cat in one of her arms. Her other hand gripped a knife, and blood was pooling on the floor from long, deep slices on both of her wrists.

* * *

 

“ **_NO!!!!!!!!_ ** ” Ichigo screamed at the top of her lungs. The children froze and turned, their attitudes changing as they saw what was before them. Kokoro wailed and buried her head in Miku’s chest. Miku bit her lip and looked away, her eyes filling with tears. Hiro gripped Zero Two tightly, the both of them pale and frozen. Goro felt his heart stop. 

“No…” He ran forward and inspected Ikuno’s body. The cuts were very, very deep, and jagged, as if she had struck over and over again. There was so much blood coming out of the small girl that Goro feared she may already be dead, and they were, in fact, too late to save her life. Ichigo was hunched forward, her hands covered with her friend’s blood. She was holding Ikuno’s face in her hands, stroking her cheeks with her thumbs. Ikuno’s eyes were closed, and her mouth was slightly open, although she didn't react to Ichigo’s touch. 

“Kuno...Kuno…no...no...Ikuno…Ikuno don’t leave me...don’t leave me like this...Ikuno...stay with me...please...Kuno...I can’t lose you…don’t you dare leave me…” Ichigo was murmuring softly, her body trembling. Goro reached over to the pillow that rested on the edge of the girl’s bed, and quickly stripped it. He lifted up Ikuno’s arm and tied the pillowcase around it, just below the wound, in an effort to tourniquet. “G-Goro..” The boy glanced down at his partner. She was staring back up at him, her large eyes full of tears. “I-Is Ikuno...dead…?” Goro inhaled and sighed. He pressed two fingers to Ikuno’s neck, expecting to feel an absence of the throbbing of a pulse. 

_ Ba-dum. _

He froze. 

_ Ba...dum. _

There it was again. 

Ikuno’s heart was still beating. 

“Not yet.” He got up to grab Ichigo’s pillow, and strip it also. Ikuno groaned softly. Ichigo looked down sharply, her tears dripping onto her friend’s face. 

“Ikuno…” 

“Ich…” 

“Don’t speak! Don’t try to speak! Shh...It’s okay! We’re going to get Nana...she’s coming…” 

“Ichig..” Ikuno’s eyes opened slightly, and she winced in pain. “...go…” Ichigo sobbed and held her friend close, their cheeks touching. “Let me...let me go…” 

“No!” 

“Please…I want…”

“You don’t know what you want!” Ichigo cried in desperation, kissing her friend’s cheek. “You don’t!” Ikuno smiled soflty, her mouth turning up at the corners. “Stop it!” 

“Ichi...go…” 

“Stop!!” Ichigo cried again, unable to look at her friend anymore. Goro crouched down next to them, wrapping Ikuno’s other arm up in the pillowcase. 

“I…” Ikuno exhaled slowly. “I…” Her eyes slowly started to shut. Goro looked up in alarm, his fingers on her neck.

“Her pulse is slowing…”  Ichigo shook her head in disbelief. She held Ikuno up to her chest, her head buried in the crook of Ikuno’s neck. 

“No…Ikuno...please...” 

“I love you...My Darling.” Ichigo’s eyes widened. The words. She’d heard them. She’d definitely heard them. She gasped and held Ikuno at arm’s length. The girl’s face was grey, and her eyes were shut. Ichigo felt her lip trembling. Her vision blurred with tears. She held the girl close to her chest, and sobbed into her hair, her body shaking. The sounds around her blurred into muffled white noise. She felt arms on her shoulders, pulling Ikuno away from her. She tightened her grip. Hands, pulling at her. Ikuno, being pulled from her. Alone. Cold. Ikuno was gone. She felt nauseous. The world faded to black. 

Just one sound made it to her ears. 

Ikuno’s soft whisper. 

 

_ I love you...My Darling. _

  
  


* * *

Nana tapped the table under her hands impatiently. Hachi glanced at the offending appendage, his frown deepening. She blushed, and stopped her act, instead choosing to wring her hands nervously. The man in front of them straightened up, adjusting his coat. After a moment, he paused, and cleared his throat. 

“Well???” Nana snapped angrily, her green eyes glinting with rage. 

“She will live.” The doctor waved his hand dismissively. “Don’t worry.” 

“That’s not what I mean!” She retorted. “This is what I told you would happen! Memory alteration-” 

“Usually works.” Dr Franxx sighed, stroking his metallic chin. “Although, it appears not to, when dealing with...trauma.” Nana bit her lip. “Interesting.” 

“You need to stop treating these children like  _ objects _ !” She cried. “They’re living, breathing humans! Like you and me!” The doctor laughed, the metallic sound boring into Nana’s ears. 

“Human…” He turned to look at Ikuno, who was lying on a bed, surrounded by Adults, screens, and drips. “What makes us human? Our actions? Our biology?” He slowly stroked the girl’s face. 

“Get off of her!” Nana started forward. Hachi held her back, his hand firmly gripping her forearm. “Don’t you think she’s suffered enough?! These children...they’re  _ children! _ They shouldn’t be humiliated and abused like this!” Her gaze shifted to Ikuno’s hair, which was now a light purple, speckled with grey streaks. “Look at her! She can’t take this...I...can’t take this.” She shook herself free of Hachi’s grasp and walked up to the girl, slowly stroking her hair. “I can’t. It was bad enough that you stopped me telling Ichigo about...the memory alteration...and...Mitsuru’s treatment of her...and…and...” She stopped, looking away. 

“The rape?” Dr Franxx suggested, raising his eyebrows. Nana nodded, inhaling sharply. 

“Not just once. But twice.” She whispered. “The poor child…” 

“Granted, all this has ended up into a heap that is nothing short of a chaotic mess. But, if you give her to me, this may end.” 

“Give her to you?!” Nana asked sharply. “Wh-” She was cut off as Hachi placed his hand on her shoulder. 

“What would you do with her?” The doctor sighed. 

“Does it matter?” Hachi narrowed his eyes. “You see, this goes deeper into investigating Parasite trauma. We must look at the main focus of this. 196’s...preferences of partner. Completely unprecedented in this scheme I have developed. Supposedly foolproof.” 

“And 326? Surely some form of discipline-” 

“Is not necessary. On the contrary, I should thank the boy. It’s because of his actions that this anomaly in the Parasite program has been identified.” Nana clenched her fists. 

“So what do we tell Ichigo?” Hachi asked flatly. The doctor shrugged. 

“Whatever would cause the least distress.”    
  
  


 

 

Ichigo stirred sleepily. She rubbed her eyes. Above her, a mass of red and green. She had been sleeping in the briefing room all night, refusing to leave, until some news of her friend had been transferred to her. Nana had promised that she would deliver any updates as soon as they happened, so she was awaiting the moment that the woman would come, and break her unyielding anxieties.

“Ichigo?” Ichigo blinked. Nana’s face swam into focus. The woman felt her stomach twist at the sight of the girl, lying on a bench, covered by a green blanket, clutching the bloodstained brown cat. She sat up straight, her body suddenly alert. 

“Nana!” The woman’s eyes were red from crying, and her nose was tinged red. “N-Nana??” She put her hand on top of the woman’s, her hands cold and hard. “Wh...where’s Ikuno?” Nana looked at her apologetically. “Nana??” She stood up, her voice rising. “Where is she??” 

Nana sighed deeply, her lips parting to speak the lie they had formulated. She felt her heart break as the small Parasite’s face crumpled, falling to her knees, the room filling with her pained screams, unable to speak a word of comfort.

 

For the small girl had now been told the news she had feared the most.

 

Ikuno, her friend, her roommate, the one who had kissed her, and read her stories, and made snowcats with her...her Darling…

 

 

Was dead. 


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Merry Christmas! 
> 
> Celebrating the season with a special event...

Hiro leaned against the whitewashed walls of the bird’s nest and sighed deeply. All around him, the air was filled with sounds of chattering and low talking. It smelled of disinfectant, however there was an underlying sweetness of freshly baked pies which he could not place. It made him feel calm, subdued...even if there was nothing else that would do that for him. Their lives since the Gran Crevasse mission had been completely turned upside down. Their home had been destroyed, and they now spent their days trapped inside the Bird’s Nest, with no freedom, no outdoors, and, most importantly, no Mistilteinn. They had not heard from Nana or Hachi since the mission either, adding to their panic.

He glanced to the side, where Ichigo was napping silently in Goro’s arms. Her sleeves were rolled up to her elbows, exposing the white scars that ran down both her arms, the white lines dotted with fresh red ones. He sighed. Since Ikuno’s death...Ichigo had become reclusive and depressed beyond consolation. She barely showed any liveliness, and more than once she had been found in the bathrooms, her arms lacerated with cuts, blood oozing from her pale skin. What worried Hiro most of all about the whole situation, was Ichigo’s overall state of mind since the news was broken to them. The squad had barely managed to get their wits together before Goro had walked in on the girl frantically trying to slit her own wrists with a blunt knife. She had been subdued, but she still remained guilt ridden and self deprecating. Nothing they had done had helped. They tried giving her a break from piloting. Prior to the Mission at Gran Crevasse, the children had been sent to grief meetings with Nana, where she tried her best to help the children cope with these feelings. They tried taking her to the beach. That in itself had been a disaster; the girl had collapsed, sobbing, onto the sand, clawing at it and screaming her friend’s name until they had returned back to the Plantation. Their own challenge of being self reliant had been trivial compared to keeping their leader alive. Their ability to cook and find their own water and the like had become second nature once they had figured out appropriate ways to distil and safely prepare it, although, admittedly, it had been hard without the booksmarts of the purple haired pistil. Futoshi had tried his best to fill in in terms of knowledge, but all he possessed had been passed down to him from the girl. 

It had been...hard…without the purple haired pistil. 

Nine Alpha had come and retrieved them sure enough, bringing them to the Bird’s Nest without a fight, or conflict. Ichigo had complied immediately, leaving the room she shared with Miku and Kokoro without a fuss. Hiro sighed again and rubbed his forehead at the memory. She had seemed so defeated, so beaten down. 

It had torn him apart. 

 

“You okay?” Hiro opened his eyes. Goro was smiling at him, his eyes still filled with sadness. The boy ruffled his hair and nodded.

“Yeah.” He stretched his arms out, and exhaled with the effort of it. “You?” Goro shrugged. 

“So-so.” He shuffled Ichigo slightly off of him, laying her down to sleep on the floor. “Papa says we have a final mission any day now.” Hiro nodded knowingly. Granted, Papa had announced there was another “final mission” that had to be completed, but the Parasites lacked any further knowledge than this. All they could do was wait and hope. Despite all that happened, they still remained loyal to Papa, hoping against hope that he knew what to do about the current predicament. Countless Parasites had been killed in the battle for the Gran Crevasse; their numbers now dwindled dramatically. Hiro was beginning to question this unfathomable devotion to the leader they knew so little about, but he withheld his suspicions and doubts, that topic of conversation reserved only for his partner. 

Goro sighed and stretched also. He took another wary glance at his partner, the brown stuffed cat encased tightly in her arms alongside a black one. She had refused to give up the cat, even upon their departure of Mistilteinn, and she spent her nights clutching the animal, sobbing into its soft brown fur. He stroked the girl’s hair softly. “Do you miss her?” Hiro asked suddenly. Goro bit his lip and nodded, pushing back tears. 

“Every day. I just wish…” He trailed off. “I wish we had been able to open the door sooner.” Hiro hung his head. If anything was to fill the two Stamens with guilt, it was the hesitation to open the door that had been between them and the dying Pistil. If they hadn’t hesitated, they could have bought Ikuno five...maybe ten extra minutes…

It would have been enough. 

 

Goro wiped his eyes. “There’s nothing more we can do. We have to just get on with things as they stand.” Hiro nodded in agreement, pulling up his socks. 

“They’re supposed to be sending us a replacement for-“ He stopped himself, shaking his head in silent self reprimanding. “They’re supposed to be assigning Mitsuru a new partner today.” Goro’s eyebrows raised in surprise. 

“Today?” Hiro nodded. “They still want the Chlorophytum-“

“It won’t be the Chlorophytum, for sure.” Hiro interrupted sharply. “Our FRANXX are for us and us only.” Goro pushed his glasses up his nose and sighed wistfully. 

“I guess we really were special.” The boy thought back to all their preferential treatment they had received in their short lives. It all made sense now, and being around other Parasites really made it shine through. Their emotions and general appearance differed greatly. The squad’s social skills were far beyond that of those they met. Goro sighed again, thinking of what Ikuno would have made of the situation; her social skills and personality were the most like those around them. 

“What’s so funny?” Hiro asked suddenly. Goro paused, only to be aware of his mouth turned up at the corners in a soft smile. 

“Nothing...I was just thinking about the time that we all went to the beach together. The second time. It was so lovely. I didn’t feel the stress of being a Parasite at all.” Hiro smiled too. 

“I understand.” 

“Man, I’d give anything to live like that all the time,” Goro enthused, “It’d be the best life we could live.” 

“I agree. Although,” Hiro glanced at Ichigo, who stirred in her sleep, hugging the brown cat tighter. “It’s just out of reach, right?” Goro deflated slightly as reality hit. 

“Yeah.” He stroked Ichigo’s hair. “Yeah.”

* * *

 

Ichigo wrinkled her nose as her breakfast was placed on a tray in front of her. Goro nudged her in the arm encouragingly, but she ignored him, stalking towards their table. She placed her tray onto the surface, causing her squadmates to glance up in alarm. They had to be careful what they said around her; the slightest mention of something associated with Ikuno would set her off into a fit of inconsolable tears. She sat down and stared blankly at her oatmeal. Unsure of what to do, the squad hesitantly resumed their own breakfasts, chewing carefully. Zorome, eager as ever, was the first to break the silence. 

“So, uh, Mitsuru!” He pointed at the sullen boy with his spoon. “Today’s the day, huh?” Mitsuru raised his eyebrows condescendingly, his chewing slowing down. Oblivious to this, Zorome continued, eagerly waving his spoon in the air. “A new partner! A new FRANXX! What’s she like?” Mitsuru shrugged. 

“Quiet. She’s very quiet. But, I guess we have to make it work.” Ichigo tightened her grip on her spoon in anger. How dare they talk about Ikuno’s replacement so openly? The girl had barely been….gone...for 4 months.  _ 4 months _ . And yet they were acting like this. She glared at Zorome, who was chewing on his oatmeal, his eyes alight with excitement. 

“I guess that means Hiro has to name her too!” 

“She has a name.” Mitsuru snapped shortly. “Her code is 071. I guess they could make something of that.” 

“A double digit code?” Goro asked in surprise, sitting down opposite Ichigo. “That’s interesting.” He began to eat too, oblivious to the stony look his partner was flashing at him. Mitsuru shrugged. 

“I guess you could say it’s an upgrade of sorts. I mean-” Ichigo slammed to her feet, her eyes glowing with rage. 

“How dare you.” She said quietly. “How  _ dare  _ you. Ikuno suffered for  _ months  _ because of you. She...she suffered...in silence...for so long...because of  _ you. _ You hated her for who she was...you made her hate herself…” 

“Ichigo...that’s enough.” Goro stood up too and grabbed her wrist gently, but with a degree of firmness. She glared at him.  

“And now I hate myself...for doing nothing...for standing by...and letting it happen...I watched her deteriorate in front of my eyes...I held her close to me as she died...I watched her fade away…” She sniffed, tears rolling down her cheeks. “Because of  _ you _ …” She pulled her wrist out of Goro’s grip, and ran towards the bathroom, her sobs echoing around the dining hall. The eyes of the other Parasites followed her, watching her every move. Goro sighed, rubbing his temples. No doubt, she had run to the bathroom to inflict more injuries onto her already scarred arms. It was like this whenever she got too worked up about Ikuno. Nobody knew why. It was no secret the girls has been close, but Goro now found himself questioning just how close they had been. Ichigo mourned for Ikuno not just as a friend...but almost...as a lover. But that wasn’t possible...was it? To the extent of his knowledge, the girls had always been close friends. 

But maybe his knowledge was wrong. 

Kokoro got to her feet, her face flushed. “I better go after her...I’ll stop by the medical tent on the way...in case…” Goro nodded knowingly. 

“Okay.”    
  


Pushing open the door carefully, Kokoro sighed as the sobbing resumed around her. She headed towards the only locked stall and knocked on the door, her arms full of dressings and antiseptic wipes. 

“Ichigo?”

“G-Go away!” 

“Ichi...please...open the door.” Kokoro gazed down at her own scuffed brown shoes. “You and I both know what you’re doing isn’t worth it. We hate to see you in pain.” She heard her small squadmate scoff, her voice still quivering. 

“We?” 

“Me. Goro. Hiro. We love you Ichigo. We do. We’d do anything for you. Please...let us help you…” The girl leaped back as the door to the stall slammed open, and she found herself face to face with her leader. In her right hand, she gripped a knife from the cafeteria. Her left arm was scratched and cut, already oozing deep red beads of blood. Kokoro reached for it instantly, but Ichigo pulled back, holding it to her own throat. “Ichigo!!! No!!!” 

“What’s to stop me?” The blue haired girl laughed softly, in a slightly sadistic way. “Who’s to say? Ikuno did this, you know. One quick slice. She was dead without a second thought. All her problems went away. Poof. Gone.” Ichigo sighed and smiled, pressing into her throat slightly. “I can make all my problems go away, Kokoro. I can make it stop. I think about it every day. I could die. I could be with her. I could hold her again. We could sit and read together like we used to until the sun came up, without a care in the world.” Tears began to stream down her face. “I’d give anything to be in her arms again. I’d give anything to just…” Her hand trembled, the knife shaking precariously near her throat. “...to just...touch her...feel her warmth...her pulse...to smell her...I miss her smell...I...I want to kiss her...just one more time...before she…” The knife clattered to the tiles. Kokoro swooped down and snatched it from the girl’s reach, throwing it to the side. “...before she…” Ichigo fell to her knees, and hunched over, sobbing. Kokoro knelt down in front of her and took the girl’s hands in both of hers. 

“I miss her too.” She smiled softly. “I see her in everything we do. Our laughs, our sadness…” Ichigo sniffed and nodded. “But that means she’s not really gone. She’s always with us, in us. We keep her memory alive, and we keep a part of her alive.” Ichigo smirked, her eyes reddened. 

“Th-that’s the b-biggest load of rubbish I-I’ve ever heard.” Kokoro laughed gently. 

“It’s what Nana said to me in our meeting. I guess they aren’t used to this either.” Ichigo sighed, swallowing hard. “You want something for that?” Kokoro gestured to her cut and bleeding arms. Ichigo nodded sheepishly. Ripping the dressing, the blonde girl began to dress the girl’s wounds, her face twisted in concentration. 

“Actually, there is something I want to do.” Ichigo said slowly. Kokoro nodded, not looking up from carefully wiping every cut clean of dried blood. “You know, after the Gran Crevasse mission, a lot of Parasites died?” Kokoro nodded again.  “Well-ow!” 

“Sorry!” 

“W-well...I want to make Ikuno a gravestone. Like how every other Parasite who died got one, she deserves one. She went down fighting, just like they did.” Kokoro secured her dressings in place and cocked her head. 

“Only Papa issues those.” Ichigo nodded. 

“Then I go and ask.” 

“If he says no?” 

“I’ll make one myself. I’m not allowing her to fade away into the background like this.” Kokoro looked away, unable to tell her friend the truth. 

“Sure...give it a go.” She forced a smile. Ichigo nodded, springing to her feet. 

“Thanks Kokoro! You’re the best!” She ran from the bathroom, leaving the blonde Pistil alone on the floor.

* * *

 

Sighing happily, Ichigo looked down at her shoes. The brown leather stared back up at her, scratched and scuffed. Papa was due to speak with her any moment, and she was determined to make every second count. 

She was determined to preserve whatever she could of her Darling. 

Goro watched her from a distance, his stomach twisted with worry. Ichigo was bound to be disappointed by the meeting she was about to hold. Nobody had the guts to tell the already unstable girl that Ikuno was pretty much completely erased from APE’s files. Upon their arrival at the Bird’s Nest, they had gone to the communications room, and looked up the Parasite directories. Naomi had been in their system, marked, to Hiro’s worry, simply as a ‘pruning target’. The true panic had come upon the failure of the machine to locate Ikuno in APE’s records. It was almost as if her death had wiped her completely from the parasite program. Nobody knew of her, none of the Adults even spoke to them, and the continuous absence of Nana and Hachi meant that they couldn’t even enquire. 

It was like Ikuno never even existed.    
  


It was some time later before the girl finally emerged from the room, her face tearstreaked and pale. His stomach sinking, Goro ran to her instantly, taking her hands in his. They walked back to the cubby that the squad shared as their living quarters in silence. After several long minutes, Ichigo looked up at Goro, her eyes wide, her tears reflecting the orange light of the setting sun, which flooded the building through the domed glass ceiling. 

“Why?” She whispered, her voice quivering and cracking. “Why Ikuno? What did she do that was so wrong?” Goro sighed and cupped her head in his hand, holding her close to his chest. 

“Some people...they’re afraid of change. They’re afraid of things that are different.” Ichigo sniffed, her tears bleeding into the fabric of his uniform. “And…” He paused, finding the right words. “And when people are afraid, they do things which are beyond their morals as humans.” Ichigo thought back to what Kokoro had said, almost a lifetime ago. 

_ Mitsuru was scared of Ikuno. _

_ “People are afraid of change…”  _

_ Ikuno, beaten and bleeding, on the hospital bed.  _

_ “Beyond their morals…” _

_ Ikuno, throwing up every meal she ate, slicing her skin open out of anger and shame.  _

Ichigo shook her head, forcing the familiar image of Ikuno’s bleeding wrists out of her mind. 

“What Papa said about Ikuno…” She swallowed hard. “It was unforgivable. I-I...I never thought someone who loved us could be so cruel…” Goro raised his eyebrows. 

“What did he say?” 

“Th-that she was an embarrassment to APE...and to him...and he was gl-gl-glad she died…” Ichigo sobbed and coughed. “So she would be out of the way…” She stopped, her sobs shaking her whole body. “H-how can someone b-be glad…” She whispered. “How can y-you say...you’re  _ glad _ she k-killed herself…” Goro shook his head, the air filled with a stunned silence. How could this have happened? Papa, their leader, their creator. He was supposed to be all loving… 

Maybe Papa wasn’t so great.

* * *

 

Werner Frank could describe himself with one word: corrupted. He used to be a man of true science, working day and night to overcome the taboo subject of cloning.  

He was going to change the world. 

But now even as the old man, who was easily nearing 120 years old, stared down at his computer screens, he found himself questioning the very motive behind the dedication he had put into the Parasite program. All this was for one reason only.

 

Her. 

Her white silky hair, her sapphire blue skin, her piercing eyes… 

He had never seen a more beautiful creature in his whole extended life. 

Glancing down at the seven beds that were laid out, he sighed and ruffled the coarse brown hair on his head. Maintaining the Nines was the hardest part of this job. Their bodies, so delicate, that they needed a constant upkeep before they began to wither and destroy themselves from the inside out. But, he realised, the image of the klaxosaur princess flashing through his mind, they were all like her. Iota especially...his pride and joy. The crown jewel of his life’s work. Not quite klaxosaur, not quite human. A speaker for both parties. Proof that cloning can succeed. The man laughed to himself at the mere thought of the reactions that those who doubted him would express, if they had been alive to see her. 

But now things were changing. 

He picked up the vial that lay on the side of the workbench. The blue liquid swirled around inside, winking and glinting at him. 

Klaxosaur blood. Fresh. 

Sighing, he walked to the furthest bed, and gently lay the vial down on the tray beside it. He knew what he was doing would be considered inhumane, but he was past that. _ Way _ past that. He had to go deeper, to keep furthering the Parasite program, to keep enhancing it. 016 had survived...and his yellow blood cell count was normal for a Stamen of his age. 

So, to try it on a Parasite who had a high count...enough to counter the effects the foreign contaminant would have on a human's body...

 

Would it be worth risking their life? 

 

He shook his head, his determination returning.

 

It would be worth it to see her again. 

 

A sharp knock on the door pulled the man out of his daydream. He turned, adjusting his lab coat, and leaning on his stick. 

“Enter.” The door slid open, and the familiar crops of multicoloured hair filed into the room. Each bed was soon full up, housing a young person, their white uniforms blending in with the bed linen. “Alpha.” Franxx smiled down at the young boy on the first bed. “How are you doing?” 

“Eeh.” The boy shrugged. “The number of Parasites in this building disgusts me. As do the number of filthy klaxosaurs we are yet to take down.” 

“But you cannot take them down unless you are properly maintained.” The doctor reprimanded. Alpha sighed and rolled up his sleeve for the Adult to begin their work. 

“He’s right!” The green haired girl piped up. “Klaxosaurs are everywhere! Their numbers grow day by day! I can’t wait to be out there, giving those disgusting monsters what they deserve- OW!!!” She squealed as a needle was inserted into her arm. 

“Careful, Delta.” Franxx mused. “You can go out there soon enough.” He stroked his chin, glancing at the two empty beds. “Where are Iota and Sigma?” Alpha scoffed.

“Stop calling her that. She’s not one of us.” The doctor shrugged, glancing at the vial of klaxosaur blood that lay on the tray. 

“Don’t be so sure. I am to try my most extreme experiment yet on her. Succeed, and she will be one of you.” 

“And if it fails?” Franxx shrugged. 

“I have done what I need to with her.” Alpha smirked. 

“You’re despicable.” 

“As are you, my boy.” The doctor ruffled the boy’s silky yellow hair, and turned to the door. “I will go and find Iota. She needs this as much as you do.”

* * *

Hiro sighed, wrapped in Zero Two’s arms. He breathed her in, inhaling her scent, feeling her arms around him. He knew, she was the girl from his past, red skinned, but just as scared and alone as she had been when they had met all those months ago. He was reunited with her, his Darling. She smiled and nuzzled her head into the crook of his neck. Turning his head, he gently kissed the side of her head. She giggled, turning her own head to peck him lightly on the lips. Across the room, Ichigo welled up and reached for her table, where she kept her knife. Goro gently pulled her into his arms, began to rock back and forth with her gently, soothing her. 

“Darling.” 

“Hmm?” 

Zero Two paused, finding the right words. “If I...was to leave you, like Ikuno did, would you-“

“Shh! Don’t talk about that. I don't want to think about losing you again. You’re here with me.  And I’ll always keep you safe. I promise.” He kissed her again. “It took me eight years to find you again, Zero Two. I’m not letting you leave me alone again so easily.” The girl smiled, pressing her forehead against his. 

“Okay.” 

“Iota.” The two broke apart and stared up at the man who was glaring down at them. “You’re needed for maintenance, now.” She sighed irritably, and rose to her feet. 

“Boring. I don’t like them touching me.” She scoffed. Hiro rose too and held onto her hand gently. 

“Don’t worry. You go, and I’ll be right here when you get back.” Zero Two’s face softened. 

“Okay.” She pecked him on the lips again. 

“IOTA!” Dr Franxx snapped, banging his stick impatiently. She laughed and kissed Hiro one more time before skipping to him, and letting him lead her away, blowing Hiro a kiss over her shoulder.    
  


 

“We still need to find Sigma before we go back.” Zero Two cocked her head. 

“Sigma? Playing around with clones again?” Franxx smirked. 

“On the contrary, Sigma is the second most successful creation of mine, behind you. Once thought to be faulty, she now figureheads the development in a new form of Parasite.” Zero Two listened in quiet fear. She didn’t approve of the way the doctor treated children; she’d experienced that firsthand. She scoffed angrily. 

“So what, you picked up a poor Parasite who couldn’t pilot, and you twisted her into your own creation?” Franxx paused, his human eye wide. 

“Of course not!” Zero Two sighed in relief. “She could pilot fine.” The girl scowled. 

“You’re despicable.” He shrugged.

“Some might call it, innovative.” 

The two reached the quarters where the Nines were housed. Rapping on the door, the doctor sighed and banged his stick impatiently.

“Sigma! Come out!” Zero Two crossed her arms. If this...Sigma...was really an ex parasite, she would be terrified. Putting a hand on his shoulder, she scanned her hand to open the door. 

“I’ll get her.” He nodded, raising his human eyebrow. Zero Two headed into the quarters, her heart beating in her chest. “S-Sigma?” She called nervously. “Are you in here?” 

“O-One moment!” Zero Two froze.

 

_ That voice… _

“I’ll be right there!” 

 

_ That voice _ …

“Sorry!” The tall girl cried, appearing from around the corner. She swept back her loose grey-purple hair into a messy ponytail, and placed her large square glasses on her face. Zero Two felt sick. She swayed on her feet. “Are you okay?” 

 

_ No… _

“Do you want to sit down?"

 

_ This can’t be… _

“Careful!”

 

_ Franxx would never...he would never...I know he’s an evil man but he would never do this… _

 

_...Would he?... _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...the return of our favourite pistil!


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> !trigger warning for sexual abuse again! 
> 
> The uprising begins

“I trust you two are well acquainted.” The doctor smirked, hobbling down the corridor towards the maintenance room. Zero Two glanced at Ikuno. She was skinny, very skinny, her wrists bony and delicate. She had dark circles under her eyes, and her freckles had faded slightly. She donned the white uniform of the Nines, her grey hair complimenting the colour. She felt nauseous. How could Ikuno be alive? After all of this...she was here? With Franxx? Why had they lied? 

 

Her head swirled with questions.

 

“Ikuno...why didn’t you tell us you were alive?” Zero Two asked nervously. Ikuno turned and blinked blankly. 

“Ikuno?” Zero Two felt her stomach drop. “My name is Nine Sigma.” 

“Ikuno...” The girl smiled apologetically.

“Sorry, you must have me mistaken for someone else.” She swept her hair from her face. “It’s an honour to meet you though, Nine Iota. I’ve heard so much about you. I never thought I’d actually be meeting you face to face.” 

Zero Two shook her head in disbelief, her heart breaking. What would Ichigo say? What would Ichigo  _ do?? _ The girl she had fallen head over heels for was in front of her very eyes. She was as real as the day, her skin soft and warm...yet...she was gone..distant...cold as ice.

“Ikuno...please…tell me you remember me...tell me you remember Ichigo!” In front of the two girls, hidden by a crop of wiry hair, the doctor smirked, his robotic eye twinkling. The girl shook her head. “Ikuno! This isn’t funny!” Zero Two grabbed her by the shoulders, shaking her violently. “Ikuno!!!” 

“I-I don’t know what you’re talking about! I’m not Ikuno!!” Ikuno cried in alarm, her eyes wide. A hand on Zero Two’s shoulder pulled her away from the trembling girl, and sat her down on a nearby bed. Ikuno sat on the bed next door, her thin frame shaking. Franxx held up a needle, filled with a swirling blue liquid. Zero Two glared at him. 

“What’s that.” 

“Just a little Franxx Formula. I want to see how this…” He rolled up Ikuno’s sleeve, “Affects her.” Zero Two felt her face pale. She bared her sharp teeth. 

_ No… _

“Get away from her.” Ikuno raised one eyebrow. “GET AWAY!” The other Nines sat up, eager to see the event unfold. Ikuno glanced up at the doctor. 

_ Don’t touch her...I swear to god...don’t lay a single finger on her... _

“Y-you won’t hurt me anymore, right?” She asked quietly. “You promised…” Zero Two stared at the scars and wounds that ran up her exposed arm. 

_ Franxx...what did you do to her… _

“Of course not, my dear.” He stroked her face. Zero Two growled. “It won’t hurt. This is just to enhance your performance. You want to pilot alongside Pistils, don’t you?” Ikuno nodded warily. Alpha scoffed. Zero Two glared at him. He shrugged. Turning back to Ikuno, she inspected the liquid inside the needle, trying to place where she had seen it before. It was familiar, and filled her with dread. An Adult swabbed the girl’s arm, preparing it for the needle. Ikuno trembled slightly, but bit her lip and steadied herself. Franxx raised the needle, and brought it down into the girl’s arm. 

“NO!” Zero Two cried, her hand out in protest. The room went silent. The liquid inside the needle gradually decreased. After what seemed like an eternity, Alpha gasped. 

“Franxx...you actually did it…”

Zero Two paled, clutching her chest, feeling time still around her. She knew...she had realised too late...what had just irreversibly been injected into Ikuno’s bloodstream…

 

Franxx withdrew the needle and stepped back, his gaze not leaving the girl. Ikuno stared at him in confusion. 

“Wh-what?”

“Ikuno…” Zero Two inspected her face carefully.

“Iota? Wh…” She faded off, her eyes slipping out of focus. 

“No!” The pink haired girl cried, watching her friend collapse onto the bed, gasping for air. Franxx sighed and shook his head. “You...YOU!” She screamed at him, but Adults held her back. Struggling against their restraints, she reached for Ikuno, the girl once again just out of her reach.She shuddered, and went limp, her arms hanging weakly off the bed. “NO!” 

“Code:196. Time of death…” The doctor craned his neck to look at the clock. Zero Two sniffed and hung her head. She had just got Ikuno back...she had just found Ichigo’s Darling…

“Death?” Zero Two’s head snapped up. Ikuno was sitting up, rubbing her eyes. “Who died?” Franxx clapped his hands together, his face twisted into a malicious grin. 

“Subarashii…” 

“No way…” Delta gasped, her face twisted with disgust. 

“Ikuno…” Ikuno opened her eyes to stare at Zero Two, and the klaxosaur girl felt her world crash. 

Ikuno’s usual comforting, green eyes were now tinged a cold cyan, mirroring that of the girl’s own eyes. 

 

 

“Hey Zero Two!” Hiro waved at her happily. His face fell as he saw his partner’s sluggish gait, and bowed head. Even from the other side of the walkway, he could see her eyes were glinting with tears, slowly falling down her face. “H-hey, guys…” He shook Goro’s shoulder gently. Goro looked up from nursing Ichigo and got to his feet in surprise. 

“Zero Two? Are you okay?” The klaxosaur girl wiped her eyes and looked down solemnly at the sleeping Ichigo. Where would she even begin? Ikuno was no longer human, that was for sure. Franxx had made sure of that. Her eyes had changed...

Her hair, a dark grey mixed with purple. 

Her body, scarred and bruised. 

Nothing more than Franxx’s helpless new toy. 

As she had once been. 

 

 

“Zero Two!” Hiro held onto her protectively. The girl blinked, before realising that her eyes were once again leaking tears. She shakily sat down on the floor, and buried her head in her hands. “Z-Zero Two…What did they do to you?” Goro knelt down on her other side and handed her a glass of water. Since their mission to Gran Crevasse, Zero Two had changed. She had become one of them, a Parasite, rather than a monster. She cried with them, laughed with them, shared their pain. They had learned to love each other like siblings...like a family. Rubbing slow circles on her back, he held the glass to her lips. She sipped at the water slowly, before gulping and wiping her eyes again.

“Take your time.” Goro soothed gently. Zero Two bit her lip.

“I…” 

“Hey…” She looked up at Hiro sharply. “Did he hurt you?” She shrugged. How could she answer that? Physically? No. Emotionally... 

“Did he touch you?” Zero Two shrugged. Hiro held her firmly by the arms. “Did he touch you?” Zero Two sighed and looked away. 

“Just...leave it alone. Please, Darling. It’s not important.” 

“It is to me. Please…”

“No...he-he didn’t touch me. I’m okay.” She swallowed hard. “Darling…” 

“Yes?” 

“I…” She glanced at Ichigo, who stirred in her sleep, the bandages on her arms pulling at the pink haired girl’s heart. She sighed deeply, and shook her head. “It’s nothing. The tests make me think about...back then.” She concluded glumly. She had decided in that split second, that it was better to wait, than to tell her squad what she had just witnessed. She had to get more information. 

And she knew exactly who to ask. 

  
  
  


Ikuno lay on her back, her head turned to face the white panels of the wall. The light of the moon was streaming in, casting a long dark shadow on the wall next to her. She squeezed her eyes shut and sighed as she felt a pressure on her breast, accompanied by a tingling between her legs. She bit her lip, and stole a quick glance at the green haired girl who was straddling her. 

“Sigma, I’ll tell you this.” Delta whispered, leaning down and kissing Ikuno gently on the neck. “You’re probably the most disgusting creature I’ve ever met.” Ikuno nodded. She knew this. Since her enrolment with the Nines, Delta had often taken liberties with her, touching her and using her to fulfil her own curiosities. 

After all, she had never had a human at her disposal like this before. 

Delta leaned down and gently kissed Ikuno’s cheek, her green hair tickling her skin. 

“You’re disgusting...yet so beautiful. I’ve never felt like this around anyone else. I want to learn all about you...about how you make me feel…” 

Ikuno pushed weakly against her shoulders. Delta smirked. “..I want to explore every part of you…” 

Ikuno whimpered and pushed against the girl’s shoulders, her body tense with fear. Delta smirked and stroked Ikuno’s face softly. 

“Are you crying?” Ikuno shook her head, her tears warm and damp, streaming down her cheeks. “Don’t cry, come on.” Ikuno sniffed. “Shhh…” Delta leaned down and kissed the girl softly on her lips. “Don’t be scared.” She whispered. “I won’t hurt you…” She began to stroke Ikuno’s stomach, just below her scar. “I just want to-"

A sharp knocking on the door made the girl sit up sharply, clapping her hand over Ikuno’s mouth. 

 

“Delta?? Delta! I need to talk to you! Where’s Alpha??” Delta glared down at Ikuno, who was staring back up at her, her large teal eyes filled with fear. 

“Not a word.” She snapped quietly, climbing off the girl. Ikuno sat up quickly, covering her body with the bedsheets. Opening the door a fraction, Delta narrowed her eyes coldly.

“Iota.” 

“Delta.” Zero Two frowned. “Can I...come in?” Delta scowled back. 

“Absolutely not.” She began to shut the door. Zero Two’s hand shot out, forcing it to stay open. 

“Please! It’s about Ik-...It’s about Sigma.” Delta froze. 

“What about her?” 

“I-I just need to know more about her, and-“ 

“Franxx has told you enough.” 

“B-but-“

“Go away. Can’t you see I’m busy?” The green haired girl snapped angrily, pulling her pyjama top up over her shoulder. Zero Two craned her neck to look past her into the girl’s room. 

“At this hour?” Delta scowled and slammed the door loudly in the girl’s face. Zero Two reeled backwards, rubbing her forehead. Stunned, she stood in silence for a minute or two, attempting to drive out the ringing in her ears. After a moment, she narrowed her eyes, and started forward, turning the doorknob and bursting into the girl’s room. That girl wouldn’t push her around. Delta's snobbish attitude was not going to get between her and Ikuno. She was going to get answers. 

She froze, the door wide open, exposing the people in the room.

 

Delta, on top of Ikuno. 

Ikuno, blushing a dark pink, her clothes scattered and strewn on the floor. 

Delta, pinning Ikuno’s arms above her head with one hand, the other covering her mouth. 

Ikuno, her eyes filled with tears, her hands gripped in tight fists. A single tear slid down her cheek, ripping Zero Two’s heart into pieces. 

Before anyone could say anything, Delta was on the floor, bleeding from her lip, and Zero Two was on top of her, shaking her violently and growling, her cyan eyes filled with rage. 

 

“You listen here, you MONSTER!!” The girl screamed, her fangs bared.”You ever so much as touch her again, and I’ll rip you to pieces!!! Am I clear???” Delta gasped in pain as Zero Two brought her hand forward, scratching her across the face. “AM I CLEAR????” The girl nodded frantically, blood trickling down her cheek. “Right.” She slammed the girl backwards. “GET OUT!!” The girl got to her feet, watching the green haired pilot scamper away out of the room, shutting the door behind her. Zero Two sighed and turned to Ikuno. She was curled up, covering her head with her arms and whimpering softly. The klaxosaur girl felt her heart sink. Ikuno didn’t survive everything she had been through to be treated like Delta’s plaything. She knew the Nines were monsters; apathetic, cold hearted, and manipulative...but to treat Ikuno like this because she was different to them…to use her body forcefully as an excuse to fulfil their own curiosities regarding humans...

It was unforgivable. 

And Ikuno didn’t deserve any of it. 

She sat on the edge of the girl’s bunk and reached down for her discarded pyjama top. It was ripped at the collar down the front, as if it had been forcefully pulled away from her body. Zero Two felt tears prick at her eyes. 

Enough was enough. 

She was going to rescue her friend. 

 

Ikuno’s eyes snapped open as she felt a hand on her waist. She curled up tighter, squeezing her eyes shut. Maybe, if she ignored it enough, it would go away. That’s how it had been before. Delta would eventually give up on whatever advances she was trying to make if Ikuno just acted apathetic towards it. She sniffed, feeling tears run from the inside corners of her eyes down her nose, and into her mouth, where her lips were twisted into a grimace. The hand slowly stroked her skin. 

“Ikuno.” The girl gasped. It wasn’t the sharp, menacing tone of her squadmate, but the soothing muse of her newest friend. She felt Iota’s hands slowly prise her own arms from her head, and she crossed them over her chest instinctively. 

“D-don’t look at me...p-please…” She sniffled, burying her head into her shoulder. She heard the tall girl sigh, and the softness of a blanket tickled and encased her entire body. Her eyes opened and she gasped. 

“It’s okay. I won’t hurt you.” Zero Two smiled softly at the girl. “It’s all over now. I taught that girl a lesson. I never liked her, honestly, between you and me.” She wrinkled her nose. “Too snobbish.” Ikuno sniffed and gulped, smiling shyly at the girl’s exhibition of distaste for the green haired pilot. 

“Sh-she’s very strong.” Ikuno admitted quietly, pulling the blanket over her body and tucking it under her chin. Zero Two shrugged indifferently. 

“Doesn’t matter. I could beat all of them in a fight. Five against one, let’s go!” She playfully jabbed the air. Ikuno let out a shy laugh, her teal eyes glinting like they used to do so long ago. Pulling the girl into a sitting up position, Zero Two rewrapped the blanket around her body and tucked her silver grey hair behind her ear. “Why was she doing that to you?”

“I...she...she said I make her feel strange. A-and…” Ikuno blushed slightly. “She wanted to explore-

“I mean, why are you letting her?” Zero Two dodged the conversation topic, unable to hear any more of the Nine’s sadistic comments. 

“I don’t know any better.” Ikuno admitted quietly. “I tried reporting it when it first happened but Dr Franxx laughed it off.” Pushing down the burning anger towards her creator, Zero Two slowly put her arm around Ikuno. 

“What happened the first time?” Ikuno squirmed awkwardly. “You can tell me, Ikuno. I’ll see to it that that horrible girl gets what she deserves for this. I won’t let it go unnoticed.” Ikuno shrugged. 

“Why are you doing this for me?” She paused. “My name is Sigma.”

“Because I care about you, Ik-Sigma. An awful lot. And I know a lot of others who do too. None of us want to see you hurt. Please,” She took the girl’s hands in her own. “Tell me.” Ikuno shrugged again. 

“I-It wasn’t as bad a-as this. I was changing into my uniform a-and she came up be-behind me and pulled me to her.” Zero Two shut her eyes slowly. 

“And then?"

“S-she just...she put her hands places- I don’t know!” Ikuno cried, bursting into tears again. “I-I-It’s not impuh-important!! Puh-please! Leave i-it alone!” Zero Two pulled the girl into a hug, burying her head in the crook of the girl’s neck. She took a deep breath, and spoke as steadily as she could muster. 

“This won’t happen again. Ever. I promise you, Sigma.” The girl wailed and pulled Zero Two into a tight hug also, her body shaking. Slowly stroking her heaving back, Zero Two sighed. “It’s okay. You’re safe now. You’re safe...And I’m going to take care of you.”   
  
  


Hiro tapped the table impatiently. Zero Two still wasn’t back. The last thing she had said was she was going to ask Nine Alpha a ‘quick question’ and be back before nightfall. He glanced out the window at the moon, high in the sky. 

“Worried?” Goro asked gently, breaking the silence. Hiro shrugged. Goro smiled and sat down next to his friend, cupping a mug of warm water. Since their move, warm milk, their favourite hot drink, had been scarce. They had managed to get by using tea and hot water, but the lack of taste was not favourable among any of the Parasites. “Don’t be. She can take care of herself, remember?” Hiro sighed, and smoothed back his dark hair. The slight blue tinge of the developing horns shone through his pale skin, and Goro looked away, biting his lip. 

“I just worry. After...Ikuno…” He smiled weakly. “Call me weak, but I don’t want to be left alone. I want to look after her forever. I couldn’t live with myself if anything happened to her.” Goro nodded knowingly. 

“I understand.” He looked down into his mug. “I feel the same every day. Ichigo keeps getting worse and worse. The Adults won’t help her. Nana and Hachi are probably dead. Nobody else will help her.” His shoulders shook. He took off his glasses and pressed two fingers to the bridge of his nose. “I know one of these days, I’ll wake up.” He sniffed. “I’ll wake up, and she won’t. And no matter how hard I try...I won’t be able to wake her.” Tears spilled out of his eyes and he sobbed at the thought of the only light in his dull life being extinguished. “I know it will happen. I can’t do anything. One day…”

“Hey, it’s okay.” Hiro put a hand on his shoulder gently. “I’m not giving up on her. None of us will. We’ll help her get through this. I promise. You’ll never wake up alone.”  Goro swallowed hard and smiled, his nose tinged red. 

“Thank you, Hiro.” The two boys looked up as the door creaked, and a flash of pink hair flicked into view.

“Zero Two! There you are! We’ve been worried sick about you!” Goro cried as the pink haired girl staggered backwards into the room. “Do you have any idea what time it is???!” Zero Two turned to face the two Stamens in the room, a figure in her arms, wrapped in a blanket. Goro paled, dropping his mug. It fell with a smash onto the floor, shards scattering, accompanied by the warm water inside. 

“Zero Two…” 

“Get me a chair, quick,” The girl heaved, her legs shaking slightly. Scrambling to their feet, the Hiro pulled a chair out from the table, and Goro took the thin girl into his own arms. Her hair was a silvery grey, tinged with purple, but the rest of her body, including her face, were covered by the dark brown blanket.  Where had Zero Two found her? It was no secret that the parasites that had survived the Gran Crevasse mission were slowly dying, their hair a bright white. By the looks of things, this poor Pistil was headed the same way. No matter what they had tried, the Parasites still died, their bodies frail and depleted. It was as if piloting was slowly killing them from the inside out. And there was nothing they could do. 

Setting her down onto the chair, Goro slowly adjusted the blanket around the girl, pulling it downwards and around her body.

“Where did you find her?” Hiro asked nervously. Zero Two blushed.  

“In the Nine’s quarters. Delta was…” She shook her head.  “Using her for something.” Hiro shook his head, his face twisted with disgust. 

“They’re despicable. That poor girl. Their treatment of humans...makes me sick. How is she doing Goro?” 

Goro remained silent. 

“Goro?” Hiro started towards his friend, Zero Two jumping forward in panic.

“Darling, wait! There’s something you need to-“ Hiro fell to his knees. The two boys were staring, their faces drained of colour, at the girl on the chair, the blanket now exposing her face, and her identity.   
  
  


“How...how is this possible?” Hiro whispered hoarsely. He glanced at Ikuno, who was lying in Goro’s arms, sleeping softly. Goro tucked her grey hair behind her ear and shook his head, not saying a word. “You said Delta was…” Zero Two nodded gravely. 

“I accidentally walked in on them, but I fought her off.” She hung her head. “Apparently this has been going on for a long time.” Goro shook his head again angrily. 

“That...that…” 

“I know.” Zero Two put her hand on Ikuno’s hair gently. She smiled. “I can’t believe she’s here with us.” Goro smiled gently. 

“It almost doesn’t feel real.” He hugged her close to him. “Ichigo will be so happy…” 

“No! No.” Zero Two bit her lip. “Ichigo can’t know. Not yet anyway.” Goro’s face fell. 

“Why not?” Ikuno stirred, her face twisting in discomfort. Her teal eyes fluttered open, and Goro felt his heart sink. 

“No…” Hiro breathed, his hands dritfing to his mouth. 

“Oh...Ikuno…” Goro said in a low voice, “What have they done to you…?” 

“Wh-who are you??” The girl cried in alarm, her eyes widening. “What’s going on?! Iota!” She reached for Zero Two. “What’s happening???” Her eyes filled with tears of fear. “Help!” Zero Two looked away, biting her lip to stifle her tears. She reached out back and took the girl’s cold thin hand in her own. 

“Its okay, Sigma. You’re safe.” 

“S-Sigma?” Goro whispered, his mouth drooping at the corners. With every passing second, his stomach sank further and further towards his feet. This couldn’t be real. Ikuno...their Ikuno...she was alive...after all these months...but yet…

She was dead. 

Ikuno leaped up, falling into Zero Two’s arms. The girl hugged her back, stroking her hair gently. Goro remained stoic, his face stony. Hiro was watching her warily, his eyes filled with sadness. 

“I’m sorry.” Zero Two said apologetically to them. “Earlier...Franxx injected her with klaxosaur blood. I didn’t want to say anything...I...I hoped it wasn’t true. This is my fault-”

“No. No...this is not your fault.” Hiro snapped. He watched Ikuno sink to the floor, exhaustion overwhelming her body. “This is not your fault.” His eyes narrowed. “Papa did this to her. He took her from us.” He watched Goro stand and scoop her up in his arms. “He erased her memories.” He held Zero Two in his arms. “He…” He took a sharp breath. “He took her humanity. This is not your fault. I promise you this.” Zero Two nodded silently. They turned to Goro. “We better take her to bed. I’m not allowing the Nines to take her back.” Goro nodded. 

“My bed?” Hiro shook his head. 

“Ichigo’s bed.” Goro’s eyes widened. 

“Hiro...no...If Ichigo sees Ikuno like this…it will destroy her.” Pausing, Hiro shrugged. 

“Fair enough. Take her to yours. I need to talk to Zero Two...alone. Please.” He watched his friend retreat in silence, before bowing his head. 

 

“Darling?” The girl asked him anxiously, her eyes filled with concern. The room was silent, the moon lighting Hiro’s profile.

“I’m done.” He snapped. Her face paled. 

“Darling…”

“I’m done with this. I’m done with Papa. I’m done with APE.” He shook his head. “I’m done. I won’t be their object any more. This is too much. If Papa really loved us...would he have done this? I know what you’re going to say!” He snapped as the girl opened her mouth to answer. “He doesn’t love us! He never did!” Walking up to the window slowly, he looked out at the dark plains of land, his eyes narrowed, his situation clear as day. There was only one way out of this. 

“Wh-what do you want to do?” Zero Two asked anxiously. Since Ikuno’s initial disappearance, Hiro’s trust in Papa had wavered. She could tell. The small conversations they had within Strelitzia was enough to convince her that her partner was having serious second thoughts about his loyalty to their leader. Hiro sighed, a slight blue glow eminating from underneath his fringe, his face twisted with determination. 

“We’re going to talk to Papa. And we’re going to get our freedom.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> next chapter ichigo meets ikuno again so it might take a while for me to get the emotion right 
> 
> this chapter was hard i didn't know what to say


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> !suicide attempt warning!
> 
> im feeling so bad right now hahah someone i hoped would never come back into my life has done that so im sorry that the suicide goes into details

Ichigo opened her eyes and yawned. It was a bright warm day, and the window was open, allowing shreds of humidity to enter the bedroom. Sitting up, she stretched out her arms and sighed sadly. 

“Good morning.” She turned to face the empty bed that lay next to her. It stared back at her, its untouched bedsheets immaculate. “How are you today?” She asked the bed slowly. “I hope you slept well.” She slowly swung her feet over the edge of the bed and walked over to the neighbouring one, leaning down and kissing the pillow gently. “Have a good day, Darling.” She whispered. 

Ichigo knew it was foolish, a child’s dream, but part of her wanted to believe that Ikuno was still around, watching her from somewhere, seeing her pain. So she spoke to her. Wherever Ikuno was, she might get very lonely without the company of her own conversations. Stroking the pillowcase gently, she sighed and ran her fingers through her hair in a sloppy effort to untangle it. Another day, another struggle. 

Picking up the brown cat, she walked out of her room and down the short corridor that led to their communal area. She could hear frantic chattering, and rolled her eyes in response. It was too early for her squadmates to be worried about trivial things, such as water and food supplies. 

They were all going to die anyway. 

 

It was only a matter of time. 

 

Stopping, she leaned against the wall and strained to listen in on their conversation. 

“...Can’t do that!!!” Miku snapped angrily. “This is mad!” 

“Do we have a choice?” Goro. His voice low and sombre. 

“W-we could take her to the Nines! None of this ever happened!” Futoshi. Anxious. 

A loud slam echoed through the room, as if someone had slammed a fist onto the table. 

“She is  _ NOT _ going back there.” Hiro. His voice angry and sharp. Ichigo flinched. She had never heard this side of her childhood friend before. It scared her a little. Something was wrong. Very wrong. 

“Look.” Mitsuru. “We have to do  _ something _ . Ichigo can’t see this.” Ichigo gripped the cat tightly, butterflies flooding her stomach. 

“Mitsuru is right.” Kokoro piped up. “It would destroy her inside. The last thing I want is to see her hurt herself again...and if that means we have to send her away-“ Ichigo backed away, her heart racing, unable to hear any more. The cat dropped to the floor. They were going to send her away?? Was it because she was defective??? Why hadn’t they told her??? She turned on her heel and ran back to her room, her nightgown flapping behind her, tears blurring her vision. Her heart was breaking. Her squad didn’t want her around anymore. 

Nobody wanted her. 

 

Nobody loved her. 

  
  


“We aren’t sending Ikuno away!” Zero Two snapped, glancing at the girl who was seated by the large window. Her hand was splayed out against the glass, and she was breathing slowly, her eyes shut. “She may be different now, but the same girl we love is still inside! We can rejog her memories with time. If we give her back to the Nines, or Papa, they’ll continue to abuse and torture her. And she doesn’t deserve that.” 

“I agree.” Futoshi nodded. Mitsuru looked away, his face burning, however this went unnoticed by the rest of the group, who stood up sharply as a knock on the door cut through their conversation. 

“Squad 13!” Alpha’s voice. Zero Two paled. 

“Protect Ikuno.” She whispered urgently. Goro got to his feet and ran to the girl, helping her stand, and then standing in front of her protectively. The door was flung open, and the Nines entered, smug as ever. 

“I believe you have something of ours.” The boy mused, his eyes glinting. Futoshi scowled and joined Goro, blocking the boy’s path to the girl. 

“Back off!” He snapped. Alpha smirked. 

“Sigma.” Ikuno wailed and Goro felt her thin hands grip onto the back of his shirt. “Come on back to us. The doctor is looking for you.” 

“N-no!” Kokoro cried, rising to her feet.  “You can’t take her!” Delta raised her eyebrows and approached the girl, her cheek wrapped in dressings. 

“Is that so?” She purred, putting her face close to the blonde girl’s. Kokoro squirmed nervously as Delta caressed her cheek. 

“Get away from her!” Mitsuru growled angrily, starting forward. Delta laughed coldly and pecked Kokoro on the lips before stalking back to her squad. Kokoro wiped her lips with the back of her hand, and let out a small sob. Miku ran to her and encased her in her arms, stroking her back gently, and scowling at the green haired girl. 

“As entertaining as this is,” Alpha sighed. “We will need our runt back.” Goro felt Ikuno’s body, pressed against his own, shaking with sobs. “Franxx isn’t finished with you.” Goro narrowed his eyes. Ikuno was terrified. 

And he wasn’t going to give her up.

 

“We can do this the hard way.” Alpha shrugged, inspecting his nails. “But I’m not sure if you want that.” Zero Two bared her teeth. 

“Get out.” Alpha sighed wearily, raising his hand. 

“The hard way it is then.” He grinned, snapping his fingers. 

  
  


Ichigo’s eyes snapped open, and her head rose from her pillow. She could hear shouting and crashing coming from down the corridor. Shakily getting to her feet, she edged down the corridor. There was a person lying at the end of it, their body still and lifeless. Around her, the air was filled with screams and shrieks. Her stomach dropped, and she ran to the figure, kneeling down next to them. 

“Kokoro! Kokoro!!” The blonde girl was bleeding from her temple, and her eyes were shut, a trickle of blood running down from the corner of her mouth. Ichigo looked up around her. The Nines were engaged in a fight with Goro, Hiro, Futoshi and Zero Two. Miku was lying unconscious on the floor by the window, a splatter of blood across the glass. Zorome was by her side, his face pale. Mitsuru was in the other corner of the room, standing protectively in front of something on the floor behind him. Alpha was approaching him, his eyes narrowed. Ichigo paled as she saw the blonde boy clench his fists. Hiro cried out in pain as Delta hit him across the face. Futoshi and Goro tackled Epsilon to the floor. Zero Two was grappling with Beta and Gamma, her face bleeding. Alpha drew back his fist. Mitsuru flinched. Finding her feet, Ichigo ran at the boy, grabbing onto his arm, and interrupting his blow. 

“No!”

“Ichigo!!!” Goro cried from the floor, his glasses cracked. Ichigo held onto Alpha’s arm tightly, as he tried to shake her off. “Ichigo!!! No!!!” Alpha growled and slammed the blue haired girl to the floor. Ichigo screamed, white spots appearing in her vision. She felt blood in her mouth. Something warm was running down her face. Above her, she saw Alpha draw back his fist again, aiming for her head. She could hear Goro shouting her name, but she shut her eyes, waiting for the blow. 

“ **_NO!!!!!_ ** ” Ichigo’s eyes snapped open. 

 

_ That voice… _

 

“ **_GET AWAY FROM HER!!_ ** ” 

 

_ That voice…  _

 

Alpha was thrown from her as something slammed into him, sending him reeling across the floor. Ichigo gasped in surprise as the weight on her chest was lifted, and she sat up sharply, turning to see the blonde boy and a grey haired girl fighting furiously on the floor. Mitsuru ran to Ichigo, helping her to her feet. She watched as he pummelled her face, something flying off and landing at Ichigo’s feet. She looked down, and felt her heart stop. 

A pair of thick rimmed, square glasses.

 

She looked up again and watched as Alpha straddled the girl, his hands wrapped around her throat. She was gasping for air, her mouth opening and closing desperately. 

“You’re coming with us...196.” Alpha sneered. “And you’re never going to see your squad again!! Ever!!” Ichigo swayed on her feet. She watched the girl reach up weakly, the sleeve of her top riding down towards her elbow.   
  


The scars on her wrist stuck out to Ichigo, the skin white and tender.   
  


It was her. 

 

Her Darling. 

 

She was alive. 

 

And Alpha was about to take her away again.

  
  


“ **_IKUNO!!!!_ ** ” Ichigo screamed, running at Alpha. She knocked him off his feet, and off of the girl. Ikuno gasped for air, her face pale, her eyes shut. With a shuddering gasp, she went still, her chest rising and falling slowly. “Ikuno!!!” She held the girl’s face in her hands. “No….” She murmured, glancing at the girl’s grey hair, that faded slowly into purple. “No…Darling…no…” She felt her lip tremble. Ikuno’s eyes slowly opened, and Ichigo inhaled sharply. 

“Wh…” 

“Ikuno!!” Ichigo cried, holding the girl close to her, and kissing her on the cheek. “Oh...oh Ikuno!!! I love you so much!!! I do!!!” She cried happily, inhaling the girl’s scent, feeling her warmth. “I love you too!!! I-I love you!!!” She cried through her tears. 

It was like a dream…

A dream come true…

Ikuno was in her arms… 

 

A heavy thud on the back of her head. 

 

Ikuno was gone. 

 

Ichigo was on her back, gasping for air. 

 

Goro shouting her name. 

 

Ikuno’s panicked screams bored into her ears. 

 

There was a sharp pain in her chest. 

 

The door slamming. 

 

Silence. 

 

Black.

* * *

 

“NO!!” Ikuno screamed, pulling against Beta and Gamma’s grip. They were dragging her down the corridor by her arms, paying no attention to her body, her bare feet getting cut and bruised on the metal floor of the Bird’s Nest. “LET ME GO!!! LET GO!!! NO!!” 

“Oh, shut it!” Alpha snapped, wheeling round and hitting Ikuno in the jaw. She whimpered, her head snapping sideways, pain shooting through her skull. She hung her head, blood dripping down onto the silver floors. “Irritating creature.” He spat down at her.

Ikuno grunted as she was thrown into her room, the single window letting the light shine in weakly, creating a square of light on the floor. Alpha shut the door behind him, and approached her slowly. Squatting down next to the sobbing girl, he rolled her onto her back. She looked at him sadly, all the fight gone from her body. His tongue gently probed the cuts on his lips she had inflicted. He smiled softly. 

“You know what you did.” She nodded slowly. “You know what you did was bad?” She nodded again, sniffing. “Why do you run away, Ikuno?” He caressed her face. “You have use here with us. Nobody in that squad needs you.” 

“B-but that blue haired girl-“ She squealed as Alpha hit her in the face, hard. Gasping, she grabbed her cheek and breathed rapidly. 

“You’re not one of them. Why did you run? Are you not happy here?” She sniffed, rubbing her face. 

“I-I don’t like Delta touching me.” She mumbled. “I-it doesn’t feel nice. I don’t want her to do it…” 

“But that’s what you like?” Alpha sneered. “Pistils? Right?” Ikuno shrugged. If this was what she was going to get for wanting to pilot with a Pistil…

Then maybe she wouldn’t want that anymore. 

Alpha slowly ran his palm over her stomach. 

“I’m going to have to teach you a lesson for running away.” He said softly. Ikuno sighed and shut her eyes, her stomach dropping. “You know that, right?” She nodded. “You belong here. You stay here, and you don’t leave. That is your rule.” He slowly walked over to the door, where a broomstick was leaning against the small stack of shelves. Ikuno sighed.  It had been a few good weeks without the blonde boy disciplining her in this way. She shut her eyes and bit her lip, stifling her screams as the wooden stick was brought down onto her body.

* * *

“IKUNO!!!”

Ichigo sat up sharply, panting. Her eyes were wide, and her face was pale. Goro hung his head. She winced and clutched her chest. 

“I-Ikuno??? IKUNO!!” Ichigo swept her hair back, and slowly looked around at her squad. Kokoro was lying on the sofa, Futoshi slowly dabbing at her forehead with a damp cloth. The girl’s face was bruised, and her blue eyes were filled with pain. Futoshi had several cuts on his own face. Miku was sniffling, Zorome dressing her head with a white bandage. Mitsuru and Zero Two were applying bandages to their wounds, Mitsuru sporting a raging black eye. Goro’s cheek was slightly swollen, but Hiro, remarkably, was unscathed. They were both kneeling in front of her, their faces etched with sadness. “Kuno??” 

“I’m sorry, Ichigo…” Goro said quietly. “They took her. We tried. We tried to keep her here with us...they were too strong.” 

“I should have done more.” Hiro growled to himself. “I should have-“ 

“We all _ ‘should have’  _ done a lot of things.” Mitsuru said in a low voice. 

“Ikuno!!! She’s alive!!!” Ichigo cried, a lump forming in her throat. Goro shook his head. 

“That’s not her, Ichigo. It’s...it’s not Ikuno. She’s different-“

“No! It’s her! I know it, Goro! I looked into her eyes! I know it-“

“Ichigo, listen to yourself!!” Hiro snapped angrily. “You looked into her  _ eyes _ ??? And not at anything else???” Goro sighed. 

“Hiro-“

“Not at the fact her body is depleting?? Not at the fact her eyes are half klaxosaur?? Not the fact her hair is grey?? We’ve been around enough Parasites to know what happens when your hair reaches that stage-“

“Stop!!! STOP IT!!” Ichigo screamed, clamping her hands over her ears. “SHUT UP!!!!” Hiro scowled and pulled her hands away by her forearms. 

“Ikuno is gone, Ichigo!! She doesn’t even go by Ikuno anymore! She, and everyone else calls her…” He glanced at Zero Two. 

“Nine Sigma.” The girl said quietly, hugging her elbows. 

Hiro nodded. “EXACTLY!! She’s one of  _ THEM _ . We can’t trust her!!! So wake up, and stop being so STUPID!!!!” Ichigo scowled, and pulled her arms out of his grasp, some of her freshest cuts opening anew. They sat in silence for a moment, before a loud crack echoed through the room, as Ichigo’s palm came into contact with Hiro’s cheek. The room held its breath. Goro flinched backwards. Kokoro sat up, her hands over her mouth. Mitsuru’s good eye widened. 

“I hate you.” Ichigo said in a low voice. “I...I hate you, Hiro.” Hiro rubbed his cheek, his face softening. “I HATE YOU!!!” She screamed, climbing to her feet and stumbling backwards towards the door. 

He reached out for her slowly. “Ichigo...I didn’t mean it-“ 

“GET AWAY FROM ME!!!” She screamed, her voice cracking, her eyes filled with large tears. “YOU DON’T KNOW HOW I FEEL!! YOU DON’T KNOW HOW HARD I’VE HAD TO TRY TO NOT FOLLOW IN IKUNO’S FOOTSTEPS!!!” She wiped her eyes furiously. “SO SHUT UP!!! YOU DON’T KNOW ME!!!” She sniffed. “AND GUESS WHAT?? YOU WON’T NEED TO DEAL WITH  _ ‘STUPID’  _ ME EVER AGAIN!!! JUST LIKE YOU WANT!!” She turned and ran out of the room, her footsteps dying away, the door slowly shutting in her wake. 

 

Ichigo leaned against the wall, sobbing. It wasn’t fair...how come they didn’t see Ikuno like she did? The girl she loved was still there...she could see it in her eyes. She sniffed, wiping her eyes. If Hiro thought she was that stupid, then she would show him how stupid she would be.

She had just about had enough of living. 

* * *

Bright lights. 

 

_ (Where am I??) _

 

Adults shouting. 

 

_ (What’s going on?) _

 

Pain...everywhere…

 

_ (I want my Darling…) _

 

Vision blurred with (blood??) tears.

 

_ (Please...I need her…) _

 

Gasping for air. 

 

_ (Where’s my Darling??)  _

 

Heavy eyelids. 

 

_ (Where is she??) _

 

Black. 

 

_ (...I need her…) _

* * *

 

Ichigo opened her eyes slowly. The first thing she registered, of course, was that she  _ could  _ open her eyes. She scoffed to herself. She had failed. Of course she had failed. She couldn’t even kill herself right. Sighing sadly, she stared up at the ceiling. The beds in the infirmary were very different to those at the Plantation infirmary. Here, they were pushed for space, so the beds were pushed close together, two to a room at least. She craned her neck. The bed next to her was curtained off, obscuring the Parasite inside.  She sighed again. At least she’d have a roommate after all these months. Covering her face with her bandaged arm, she shut her eyes, and waited for the imminent scolding from her squad. 

 

“ICHIGO!!”

“Ichi!!”

“Ichigo!!!!”

“What were you  _ THINKING _ ???” 

“Oh…oh….Ichigo…” 

The squad were a whirlwind of emotions. To say the least. She sat, propped up by pillows, her eyes narrowed, as the friends she had grown up with fell apart around her. 

“H-how did you do it??” Goro asked shakily. His eyes and nose were tinged red, as if he’d been crying for a long period of time, and his face was pale and thin. Ichigo shrugged. She mimed dragging something across her wrists. Goro gagged and buried his head in his hands. Ichigo paused, and then held her fist above her head, and tilted her neck slightly. Zero Two frowned. 

“What’s that?” Ichigo shrugged. 

“I got some of that rope that’s always lying around, and I tied one end to the railing, and the other, I just…” She mimed putting a necklace on. “And then I jumped.” Kokoro burst into tears. Futoshi shook his head, one arm around her. 

“But then...It would go tense! You’d be hanging by just your neck! You’d suffocate!!” Ichigo shrugged, the dark red bruises on her neck just visible. 

“Maybe.” He hung his head. “It’s fine, though. I jumped and the rope broke, although by then I was already out.” Her lip trembled. “I’m so stupid, I can’t even kill myself right…” She sobbed into her hands, her back heaving. “I’m so stupid…a-and useless…” Goro was by her side in an instant, hugging her close to him, feeling her shaking body within his arms. “I-I miss Ikuno...so much...I love her more than anything…” She sniffed. “A-a life without her...was h-hard enough...but...a life w-with her...where she doesn’t kn-kn-know me…” She coughed. “I just can’t do it!” Goro sighed. He understood now why Zero Two had been hesitant to reveal the situation to the girl. 

A hand on top of her own made Ichigo gasp and look up sharply. Hiro was smiling at her shyly, his face twisted with remorse. 

“Look, Ichi, I-“

“I’M SORRY HIRO!!” She squealed, throwing herself onto him and hugging him tightly. “I DON’T HATE YOU!!! I DON’T!!!” Hiro stroked her back softly. 

“I don’t think you’re stupid.” He kissed her cheek gently. “I don’t. Right now, I’m just happy you’re alive. It’s all I want. Keep living. For me, Ichigo.” Ichigo sniffed and nodded, burying her head into the boy’s neck. 

“I promise.”

* * *

It was night time. Ichigo sighed and rolled onto her side. She had missed her cats, so Goro had bought them both with him on their next visit. She hugged them close to her, feeling their soft fur tickling her. Since the squad’s first visit, she had been filled in on what had happened to her. She had slit both her wrists, before jumping from the first floor balcony. The rope  _ had  _ snapped, but not before she had passed out. She had fallen to the floor, where a group of terrified Parasites had got Adults to quickly cut her free, before whisking her away to the infirmary. She had spent two  days unconscious, before finally waking up. The squad had been a mess. Nobody had told them anything about her situation, or where she was, so they had spent two, guilt filled days, worrying themselves sick about her.  
  


> _ Goro sat with his head in his hands. That morning marked the second day of Ichigo’s disappearance. Nobody had heard from her, nobody could contact her.  _
> 
> _ It was like she had just disappeared.  _
> 
> _ The door creaked open, and Hiro stood up sharply, wiping his eyes.  _
> 
> _ “Ichigo??” His face dropped as an Adult walked in, their masked face emotionless and cold.  _
> 
> _ “Do you recognize this Pistil?” They held out a screen, where Ichigo’s smiling face shone out at them. Goro felt his stomach drop.  _
> 
> _ “Oh no…” His lip trembled.  _
> 
> _ “Y-yes.” Futoshi said shakily. “Code 015.” The Adult nodded.  _
> 
> _ “I’m sorry. There has been an accident.”  _
> 
> _ “Accident…” Miku murmured.  _
> 
> _ “Code:015...Is in the infirmary.” Goro started to sob, his back jerking. “She has been unconscious for two days, but she is awake now.”  _
> 
> _ “What happened!?” Cried Hiro, his eyes slowly leaking tears. The Adult sighed.  _
> 
> _ “Self inflicted injuries, and the intention to end her own life.” Goro moaned softly in despair. Hiro hung his head. Kokoro began to cry. “She fell from the first floor balcony. We think she may have jumped intentionally. The fall fractured several components of her body, and she was bleeding profusely from her wrists. We have managed to rectify all of this, and you are free to see her.”  _  
>    
>    
> 
> 
> _ “Ichigo…” Goro slowly sniffed, holding her hand in his own. The blue haired girl was sleeping softly, her bandaged chest rising and falling. There was a ring of bruises around her neck, and her arms were heavily bandaged up. Her face was pale white, with dark circles underneath her eyes.  _
> 
> _ After a moment, her eyes fluttered open, and she sighed sadly. _
> 
> _ “I failed, huh?”  _

  
  


Ichigo craned her neck to look at the bed next to her. According to the Adults, the other Parasite in her room had been heavily beaten up, and needed time to rest and recover, much like she did. It meant that they were suited to be roommates. The bed was still shrouded in curtains, and to the best of Ichigo’s knowledge, she had never seen the child in that bed. Sitting up, she padded softly to the window, her body casting a long shadow across the floor. Staring out at the moon, she rested her head on her hands, before wincing, as her wrists were still tender. Sighing deeply, she leaned on her arms, and looked at the passing clouds, drifting lazily across the sky. 

“You dropped this.” She whirled around. A thin arm was protruding from the curtained bed, the brown cat held in their thin hand. Ichigo limped back over and took it shyly. The arm retracted into the curtains again. 

“Hey.” Ichigo sat on her bed softly. “It’s okay. I won’t hurt you.” 

“Why are you in here?” The voice asked. It was hoarse and cracked, as if the person had a very sore throat. Ichigo blushed.  

“I-I was stupid. I did something stupid."

“And they sent you here?” Ichigo shrugged. 

“It was that or die.” 

“Die?” 

“I tried to…” She bit her lip. “End my own life.” The room went deadly silent. 

“W-why??” The person, who Ichigo had deduced to be a Pistil, was crying. “Why would you…”

“Because I was foolish.” Ichigo carefully picked at the fur of the brown cat. “I loved someone…maybe too much. My feelings for her were so strong, that a life without her, to me, seemed not worth living.” Silence again. “Why are  _ you _ in here?”

“I-I let people use me. I let people touch my body and use it for whatever they liked. Someone saved me from that.” They sniffed. “But I was taken back. They hurt me to teach me a lesson but...they went too far.” Ichigo clutched the cat tightly. 

“T-too far?” 

“Their hitting turned into kicking which turned into beating.” The voice wobbled, on the edge of tears. “They never liked me...and they let out all their anger and hate onto me.” She sniffed again. “I almost died.” 

“That’s horrible…” Ichigo sniffled, drawing her knees up to her chest. “Who would do that…” 

“I doubt you’d know them.” She paused. “What’s your code?” 

“I don’t go by that. Most children have names. Don’t you have a name?” 

“Maybe once. People call me something that I guess is my name, but Papa tells me I’m called something else.” 

“Don’t listen to Papa!” Ichigo cried, huffing and crossing her arms. “He doesn’t care about us! If he did, we both wouldn’t be here!” Silence, while the Pistil mulled this idea over in her mind.

“That may be true.” Ichigo nodded. “Okay.” She took a deep breath. “I guess then, if we’re ignoring Papa...you can call me Ikuno.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> they're finally alone together uwu what will happen next ???


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i had some trouble with this chapter too 
> 
> im so sorry if its decreasing in quality
> 
> im trying 
> 
> i really am
> 
> its just been really hard for me lately and writing is all i can do to feel better

Ichigo slowly walked to the bed. She gripped the green curtain in her hand, and yanked it away. The girl squealed and covered her face with her hands. Ichigo knelt down, and pulled her hands away, her heart breaking. Ikuno’s beautiful face was bruised and battered. She had a fading black eye, and her lip was split. Her nose was bandaged, as if it had been broken, and she had heavy dressings wrapped around her head.  Ichigo trembled. 

“Oh...Ikuno…” 

“I’m sorry...I wanted the curtains so nobody would be able to see me like this…”

Ichigo slowly cupped her face, stroking her cheek softly with her thumb. “Who did this to you…?” Ikuno blushed slightly, her teal eyes filling with tears and shame. 

“...the..th-...Alpha…” She whispered. Her eyes slowly shut, allowing Ichigo to stroke her skin, savouring the kindness of her touch. “...aah…” 

“ALPHA!” Ichigo cried, enraged. “I’ll kill him, I’ll-“ 

“No!” She looked away. “No. Please. It’ll just make things worse.” Her hand softly touched Ichigo’s and held it to her face. “Please...don’t stop.” Ichigo sighed and resumed the carressing of her friend’s face. “Thank you.” She whispered. Ichigo felt her lip tremble. 

“Why?” 

“Nobody has touched me like this in a long time.” Ikuno slowly buried her cheek into Ichigo’s palm. “I feel...it feels nice. I feel safe with you.” She paused. “You wouldn’t hurt me, would you?” Ichigo shook her head in protest. 

“No. No. I’d never hurt you, Kuno. Please believe me.” Ikuno nodded slowly. 

“It’s just that...everyone else in my life has hurt me. Alpha...Delta...Dr Franxx...the Adults…” Her tears slipped between Ichigo’s hand and her cheek, warm and damp. “I just don’t want to be hurt anymore…” Ichigo knelt down in front of her and gently brushed her grey hair out of her face. Tears slipped out of her own eyes, and ran down her face. She looked very carefully at what Ikuno had become. The quiet, reserved girl, who spoke so softly, and was filled with kindness, was now hunched and thin. Her eyes had long lost that spark of intellect she had once sported. Her mouth drooped at the corners. There were large dark circles under her eyes, which were filled with sadness. Her eyes had seen too much in her short life, and it showed. Before Ichigo could stop herself, she had thrown her arms around the girl, and was sobbing into her shoulder. “I-What are you doing?!” 

“Oh...Ikuno…” Ichigo murmured. “...Please...let me just...hold you. For a minute...please…I promise I won’t hurt you…” She inhaled Ikuno’s scent, felt her breathing against her own body, her hair ticking her cheek. “Please…I lost you-”

“You...you said you loved me.” Ikuno murmured, her eyes widening in realisation. “It was you...in the room...I saved you…” 

“Why did you do it?” Ichigo breathed, kissing the crook of Ikuno’s neck softly. Ikuno gasped and tilted her head back instinctively, her hands grasping the back of Ichigo’s gown. 

“Because...I...I…” Ichigo kissed her again, unable to let her go. Ikuno gasped sharply. “I feel like I’ve seen you before...somewhere...and you were kind to me…” She ran her hands down Ichigo’s back. “I can’t let Alpha hurt someone who is so kind…” She held Ichigo’s face in her hands. “I won’t let him hurt anyone who is so kind.” She said firmly. Ichigo sniffed. 

“So you went with him…” She murmured, hanging her head. “You went with him...to save me?” Ikuno nodded slowly. “Even though you knew...he would hurt you?” Ikuno nodded again. Ichigo inhaled deeply, stifling her sobs, her back heaving. Ikuno... _ her  _ Ikuno...the beautiful...sweet girl that she had fallen in love with, was still in there somewhere, putting Ichigo’s own needs first.

 

Even after everything that had happened to her. 

  
  


“I don’t deserve you.” She said quietly, voicing, for the first time, her unspoken doubt. Ikuno cocked her head. 

“You don’t deserve  _ me _ ?” Ichigo nodded, her hand once again encasing Ikuno’s cheek.

“Look at you. Look at everything you’ve done, and been through. Look at how strong you stand, even when people are always knocking you down.” Her thumb traced Ikuno’s black eye gently. “Look at all the pain you took for me.” She sniffed. “I don’t deserve someone who would do that for me.” Ikuno hand onto Ichigo’s hand firmly. 

“No.” She kissed it softly. “Listen. I did these things because I  _ wanted _ to. And I don’t know why I feel so comfortable around you, but I feel like we can be more than associates.” Ichigo nodded, pushing back her tears. 

“We are.” Ikuno cocked her head again. 

“W-we are? But-” Ichigo pushed her lips onto Ikuno’s. She felt her body relax. Ikuno’s lips were soft and warm underneath her own, just as she’d remembered them to be. She’d missed their kisses...the butterflies that rose up in her stomach...the jerking sensation behind her bellybutton… 

 

Ikuno pulled away, her eye wide with shock and horror. 

 

“You..you….” 

“Just try and remember, Ikuno. Try and remember me...us...everything we stood for. We stood for freedom of choice, and love, and happiness. And Papa didn’t want that. He took you from us to teach us a lesson.” She tucked Ikuno’s hair behind her ear. “I don’t know what else to call it, but it has to be fate that we’re here. Together. Alone.” Ikuno shook her head in disbelief. 

“You’re saying…” 

“You aren’t a Nine, Ikuno. You’re Code:196. You’re a reader, an artist, a leader, a swimmer, a teacher...a...a friend….” Ichigo felt her eyes fill with tears again. “A-and...you’re my Darling. And I love you, more than anything else in this world.”

* * *

 

“Here, I want you to have this.” Ikuno looked up sharply. Ichigo was holding out a brown cat, its fur slightly matted. She reached out hesitantly and took it. 

“Th-thanks?” 

“I’m really sorry about the kiss.” A blush crept up on Ichigo’s neck. “I-“ 

“It’s fine.” Ikuno softly touched her lips, her fingertips skimming the bloodied cut on the bottom one. “It...it’s fine. I don’t mind. Honestly.” She smiled slightly, hidden by the dark of the room. The kiss had felt...amazing. Natural, welcome, warm. She had never experienced anything like it before.

 

_ Had she? _

 

Absentmindedly stroking the cat, she watched Ichigo get into her bed and cover her body with her duvet, scooping the black cat into her arms. Her head was spinning. Her entire life felt like it had been turned upside down. Everything she knew...everything she  _ thought _ she knew...was it a lie? What was true? She was a Nine… She was...she was a Nine. Nine Sigma. That’s who she was. Half Klaxosaur, half human. An elite pilot, trained since birth to be the best.

__

_ So why was she not the best? _

 

The other Nines were better than her, it was true. She was often told not to push herself during exercises, while they continued for three, four times as long as her. They were much stronger than her, and their general physiques were much more muscular and trimmed. Their maintenance was much more vigorous, and took much more time. 

 

She shuddered, and held the cat closer to her. 

 

And her body was different to theirs. Gently, she rested one hand on her breast. Delta wasn’t like her. At all. She felt her stomach clench as the thought of the first time the girl had assaulted her flooded her mind. Squeezing her eyes shut, she pushed her legs together, and bit her lip. 

> _ “Sigma…”  _
> 
> _ “N-no…Please…What are you doin-” Delta smirked and covered Ikuno’s mouth with her hand. “Ughgn!” With her other hand, she pinned Ikuno’s hands behind her back. Frozen with fear, Ikuno straightened up, her parasite uniform falling to her knees. Delta smiled and gently kissed the bottom of Ikuno’s neck. Ikuno’s legs trembled.  _
> 
> _ “Don’t say a word.” The girl whispered, gently biting Ikuno’s neck. She removed her hand from Ikuno’s mouth, and stroked her stomach softly. Gasping, Ikuno’s breathing sped up, her body heating up.  _
> 
> _ “Stop...please…” Delta quickly grabbed Ikuno between her legs. “No...no...please…Stop…I’m begging you…” Ikuno bit her lip as Delta began to touch her, her legs bending and trembling.  _
> 
> _ “You’re beautiful, Sigma. Your body...every part of your body...it’s beautiful. I want to see it all. I want to know what makes you different. I want to make you feel...new things.” Ikuno gasped as she felt a burning sensation form in the pit of her stomach. Delta smirked. “So let me…do this for you…” Ikuno rolled her head back, tears of shame streaming down her face.  _
> 
>   
>    
> 

Ichigo opened her eyes. It was early morning, the air tinged with that light pink glow from the rising sun. In the bed behind her, she could hear a soft sobbing, tinged with sniffling. Rolling over, she rubbed her eyes. Ikuno was sitting on the floor, the cat in her arms.

 

Her body shaking.

 

Her face tearstreaked. 

 

Her gown ripped down the front.

 

Her arms covered from wrist to forearm in cuts and bite marks.

  
  
  


“Thank you for taking care of Sigma.” Alpha put a hand on her shoulder. Ikuno flinched, but remained staring at the floor, her white bandaged arms hanging limply by her sides, her left hand gripping the tail of the brown cat. Her eyes slowly leaked tears, dripping onto the metal floor with a faint clinking sound. The tall woman with short cut hair smiled. 

“It’s no problem, Alpha.” She turned to Ichigo, who was staring at Ikuno, her face etched with desperation. 

“Ikuno...please don’t go…” Ikuno looked away. Her face had healed considerably; only a few strips of dressing covered the bridge of her nose, and her black eye was now a faded greenish yellow. “Please…” Alpha put his arm around her. Ikuno sniffed, shutting her eyes. Alpha narrowed his eyes.

“I’ll take care of 015 from here.” The New Nana sighed, patting Ikuno on the face. Ikuno whimpered quietly and turned her head away more, tears rolling past her faded freckles, tearing Ichigo’s heart in two. 

“Please...don’t touch her…” Ichigo put her hand out in desperation. The New Nana raised her eyebrows. “Please...she doesn’t like it when people touch her…” The New Nana shrugged.

“Very well.” Alpha pulled her away. 

“Come on.” 

“Ikuno!” Ichigo jumped up from the bed, but the New Nana held her back. “No! Ikuno! Wait! WAIT!” The girl’s purple tinted hair vanished behind the doorway, Alpha scowling at Ichigo as he followed her. Ichigo felt a hand on her chest, and her eyes widened. The New Nana removed the stethoscope from her back, and removed her hand.

“Do you want to go back to your squad?” Ichigo shrugged. “You know, you can. You’re strong enough to pilot again, and you’re more than capable of moving around by yourself now.” Ichigo glanced down at her arms. Her wrists were bandaged up. Her arms were ugly. Like she deserved. She was capable of moving around, but was she capable of living her life? She hung her head, her blue hair obscuring her vision. 

 

“I guess.”

* * *

Ikuno opened her eyes slowly. It was the fifth day of her newfound freedom from the hospital. Since her discharge, the Nines treatment of her had worsened fivefold. Alpha hit her, Epsilon kicked her, Delta touched her almost every night. She shuddered as she recalled the previous night, her body pinned to the bed, sweaty and trembling, panting with exhilaration and relief. Holding the cat to her chest, she sniffed and buried her head into the coarse brown fur. She kissed it gently, pretending in her mind that the fur were the soft warm lips of Ichigo. When she had been kissed, it was different to when Delta kissed her. She felt like she wanted to kiss her back, not push her off. She  _ wanted _ Ichigo to touch her. She  _ wanted _ to touch  _ her _ . Her skin burned when she thought about it. Her heart rate picked up, and she touched her lips with her fingertips. Is this what love felt like? Was she...in love??? With a Pistil??? Was that even possible??? 

A loud banging on her door jerked her out of her daydream. 

“SIGMA! GET UP!” Beta snapped, before stalking away. Ikuno sighed and sat up, rubbing her eyes, and ruffling her hair. She paused as a few strands came away in her hand. The dull, purplish tinted grey was now a silvery white. Pushing down her panic, she swung her legs over the edge of the bed, and headed to the small mirror that hung on her wall. Sure enough, she felt her heart plummet as a crop of silver hair stared back at her. The purple was almost completely gone. She looked at the limp strands, that fell almost to her mid back. Her stomach twisted. She couldn’t even look at herself. Turning to the rusty scissors she had kept on the side of her bedside table, she sighed, gripping her hair in a fist. Alpha would be angry if she made any independent decisions, she knew this. But she couldn’t look at herself anymore. It just couldn’t continue.

  
  


Ichigo prodded her breakfast moodily. She massaged her neck, where the bruises were fading. The New Nana had allowed her to eat solid food, but not too hot, or too cold. Blowing on her oatmeal, she slowly chewed on it, the unpleasant texture making her gag. 

“Hey, Ichigo.” Ichigo’s eyes raised to Goro, who sat opposite her, smiling softly. Ichigo shrugged and continued to eat, lowering her gaze. Goro sighed. He held out his carton of orange juice. “Here, Ichi.” Ichigo’s eyes widened. 

“B-but that’s your allowance for this week-” 

“It doesn’t matter. I’ll get some next week. Here.” She took it shyly, blushing. Spearing the carton with the straw, she slowly sipped at the lukewarm juice. “So…” Goro fiddled nervously with his shorts. “How are you doing?” Ichigo shrugged, her mouth full of the sweet liquid. She swallowed it and gasped for air. 

“Okay.” 

"When will you talk about what happened in the hospital? I’ve known you since you were small, Ichi. I know something is bothering you.” Ichigo looked away. She had to come clean. The guilt was eating away at her like a disease inside, destroying her self esteem and sucking every ounce of happiness from her body.

“The Parasite in the other bed…” Goro nodded encouragingly. “It was Ikuno.” He gasped.

“What? Was she okay?!” Ichigo shook her head, her eyes filling with tears. 

“A-Alpha hurt her...badly...she was all bleeding...a-and beat up…” Goro buried his head in his hands. 

“Because we tried to protect her.” Ichigo nodded, gulping. 

“A-and...so...we talked…” Ichigo wiped her eyes. “She’s changed...so much...and people treat her so badly…” Sniffing, she rubbed her eye. “I-it wasn’t fair! It hurt me so much to see her like that...that I...th-that I…” 

“You what?” 

“I-I couldn’t help it! I just lo-loved her so much!” Ichigo wailed, bursting into tears. “I’m sorry!” 

“Oh..Ichigo…” Goro shook his head, putting the pieces together. “How did she take it?” Ichigo sobbed and buried her head in her arms. 

“I-I woke u-up...an-and...she had...she had hurt he-herself...so much...it looked l-like she had attacked her-herself…And that’s my fault….” 

“No. No Ichigo.” Goro held onto her hands. “Did she push you off?” Ichigo shook her head. “Did she hit you?” Ichigo shook her head, her lip trembling. “Then you don’t know it was because of you.” The two Parasites looked up as a collective hush dropped onto the cafeteria. The Nines were stalking towards the food table, their heeled shoes clacking on the floor. First came Alpha, then Beta and Gamma...Delta… 

 

Ichigo counted them mentally.

 

Epsilon...then Zeta, Eta, and Theta. 

 

Then 

  
  


Nobody. 

  
  


Ichigo felt her stomach drop. 

  
  


“Where is she?” She asked in alarm, craning her neck. “Why isn’t she with them?!” Goro stood up, frowning, and inspected the children lining up for their food ration. 

“I don’t see her.” Ichigo slammed to her feet and ran to Alpha, her blood boiling. “Ichigo! Wait!” She ignored him, her heartbeat in her head. If he had touched her...if he had hurt her...

“Ah...015.” Alpha turned, his face unamused, and smirked. “Nice to see you out and about.”

“Where is she…” Ichigo growled, gritting her teeth. “Where is she?!” Alpha shrugged.

“Don’t ask me.” He began to walk towards his designated table, the other Nines following suit. Ichigo watched him, her eyes narrowed.

“Don’t worry.” Delta giggled coldly as she passed the girl. “She’s probably all tired out from last night.” Ichigo’s face paled. Her eyes widened, and she felt her stomach plummet. She snapped round and grabbed the girl by the forearm. 

“What?” Delta giggled again, her malice evident. Ichigo scowled. “What. Did you do. To her?” 

“Nothing she didn’t want!” Ichigo felt her anger rise up. She felt heat rise up on the back of her neck. “In fact, I’m sure she liked it!” Delta shrieked with laughter. Ichigo clenched her fists, and considered, for a second, smacking the smug look off of the abusive girl’s face. 

Her fists relaxed. 

She released the girl, and turned to run towards the Nines Quarters, her heart pounding. Delta relaxed and sneered after her, her heart rate returning to normal. 

 

 

Ikuno hit the floor, crying out in pain. This was typical. All she wanted to do was get some breakfast. She had started to head to the cafeteria, but something small had sped round the corner in front of her, knocking her off her feet with sheer speed. She rolled onto her side and massaged the back of her head where it had hit the floor, and opened her eyes to see what she had collided with. 

“Ichigo!” She rubbed her head to subdue the pain that had shot through it, and helped the girl to her knees. “Are you okay?!”

“IKUNOOOO!!” Ichigo wailed, pulling the girl into a tight hug instantly. Ikuno hesitated, then hugged Ichigo back, feeling her body in her arms.

“Hey, I’m here. Don’t worry. Don’t worry…”

“She did it again!” Ichigo cried in despair, burying her head into Ikuno’s neck. “Didn’t she!!” Ikuno shook her head dismissively.

“It’s okay…” 

“No! It’s not!” Ichigo cried, inspecting Ikuno’s body for any injuries. “Why didn’t you stop her!?” Ikuno hung her head. “Ikuno??”

“Because that’s my role.” Ichigo froze. She drew back, her wide eyes filled with tears.

“Wh-what??”

“That’s my role. I thought about what you said. I was a lot of things. I must have been. But…” She shook her head, her white shoulder length hair flowing around her face. “I’m not that anymore. It doesn’t matter who I was. What matters is who I am now. And now,” She wiped Ichigo’s tears gently. “That means I’m Nine Sigma.” She smiled reassuringly. “I’m not quite klaxosaur, I’m not quite human. I’m a pilot. I’m not elite, but I’m as good as I can be.” She kissed Ichigo’s forehead. “I’m not sure how much of what you told me is true...but I know how I feel about you. It doesn’t matter what happened in our past. I think you’re the kindest, most beautiful girl I’ve ever met.” She paused. “And it’s because of that, that I’ll endure everything they do to me. They can do whatever they want to me.”

“Ikun-”

“Whatever they want.” Ikuno repeated firmly. Ichigo shook her head.

“No…”

“Yes. And I’ll take it, because I know, as long as I’m here, with the Nines, it’ll stop them from hurting you. I never want to see you get hurt by them again. It took me a while to figure it out, but I think I understand what my role is. And that’s to protect you, and look after you.” She tilted Ichigo’s head up and stared into her eyes. “Do you understand?” Ichigo’s bottom lip trembled.

“Ikuno...please, no…” She pleaded in a quiet whisper. The girl smiled, her teal eyes tinged with sadness.

“And do you know why I know this?” Ichigo shook her head. Ikuno leaned in and kissed her softly but briefly on the lips.

  
  
  


“Because I love you, Ichigo.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> maybe i should stop the story here idk


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Before i upload this, i just want to thank you for reading this story. It means a lot to me. A lot of the things that Ichigo and Ikuno have experienced throughout the story, i have myself, and it was always my intention to handle these with respect and not to over glamorise them, as i have seen a lot of other pieces of writing do. 
> 
> To those who comment, and keep supporting me through it, i thank you too. It means more than i can express to know that people care more than just the words on the page and acknowledge that there are people writing behind the words. i'm not very good at communicating, and i get very flustered when people give emotional support, hence why i have not replied to your comments, but i want you to know i appreciate it more than my words can probably say. 
> 
> until next time - DS

“I know, you will all do well in this mission.” Papa said firmly, addressing the hundreds of children in front of him. “You will be doing a great service to APE.”

lchigo averted her gaze from the speaker and glanced at the Nines. They stood, facing the crowd, their faces smug. Ikuno stood on the end of the line, her lip trembling. She had a large cut across her right cheek, and her face was blushing hard at the prospect of standing in front of so many people. Her eyes looked tired, and she had large dark circles underneath them. Ichigo felt herself well up. Since Ikuno’s confession, she had never complained. Every time Ichigo saw her with a new injury, she either shrugged it off, or ran away to avoid conversation. The Nines were hurting her...because they knew she wouldn’t fight back. The girl glanced up, making short eye contact with her. Ichigo smiled softly. Ikuno blushed harder and looked away. Her stomach sinking, Ichigo resumed her focus on Papa’s speech.

“...Good luck, to all of you.” 

Goro nudged her in the arm. 

“What do you think of all this? A little over the top?” Ichigo shrugged, glancing as Alpha pushed Ikuno roughly to the door. The Nines exited after her, and the Parasites began to file out.  

“A little.” 

 

 

“Iota!” Zero Two scowled and turned to face the Nines. They were standing, their arms crossed, their stances poised, blocking the corridor. “Last chance.” Alpha mused. “Why do you still insist on playing human? Join  _ us _ . Just for this battle. We’re going all out.” At the back of the group, Ikuno hugged her elbows uncertainly. Alpha reached back and pulled her sharply to the front, causing her to cry out in pain. 

“No!” 

“NO!”

“Kuno!!”

“LEAVE HER ALONE!!!”

The squad leaped forward at once in defence. Alpha smirked and held Ikuno close to him. Ikuno sighed and turned her head away, all fight gone from her body.

“Let her go.” Zero Two growled, her eyes glowing with rage.

“Iota..it’s okay…Just let him...it’s okay...” Ikuno reassured her, her voice shaking, her expression defeated. Alpha smirked.

“So, what’ll it be? Are you going to join us?” Zero Two narrowed her eyes.

“Never.” Alpha shrugged.

“Very well.” He slammed Ikuno backwards into Delta’s arms. “Delta,  _ you _ can be Sigma’s partner for this.” Ichigo felt her stomach plummet. She watched as Delta cheered fakely, before nuzzling her nose into Ikuno’s neck, and kissing it softly. “I was going to suggest you two team up...but that won’t be necessary now.” Zero Two’s eyes widened with horror and rage.

“You’re despicable.” She growled. Alpha shrugged.

“Some might call it, innovative.” Ichigo bit her lip in an attempt to stop the tears from flowing, as she watched her Darling hang her head, and avoid her gaze, as Delta began to whisper to her excitedly, one hand on her cheek.

  
  


“What was that about?” The small girl with bob cut hair asked nervously. She wrung her hands over each other and waited for an answer from her fellow Pistils. 

“That girl, with the white hair...she was Mitsuru’s old partner.” Miku shrugged. The girl’s eyes widened.

“O-oh. But I thought-”

“We all did.” Kokoro said gently, braiding her hair. “They lied to us.”

“But they don’t seem to be treating her nicely…”

“Like it was any different with us?” Ichigo snapped angrily. She hugged the cat one more time, before placing it into her locker. “Mitsuru abused her. That’s what she told me before she attempted. I don’t know if it was...mentally...or, or physically….or even…” She stopped, gagging sightly at the thought of Mitsuru forcing himself onto Ikuno. “Or otherwise.” She shook her head angrily. “I can’t bear to see her suffer like this every day of her life.” Slamming the locker shut, she put her hand on the girl’s shoulder. “Nachi. Listen to me. Be careful with Mitsuru. We’re going to go out there today, and we’re going to win. And then-” She glanced at the empty locker, where Ikuno’s items would have been housed. “We’re going to get Ikuno back.”

* * *

 

The battle was hard. Harder than anyone could have predicted.  At one point, Hiro severely questioned the motive behind Papa’s willingness to set them free. Did he expect them to die? 

He worried about his friends, too. He and Zero Two had been sent into the depths, beneath the surface, on a special mission to deliver Strelitzia to the most powerful weapon. He worried about her, but he also worried about the friends he couldn’t see...Ichigo...Goro…The people who had made his dull life worthwhile. Clasping his hands together, he prayed that they would be safe. 

“Darling?” Zero Two  gently nudged his shoulder. He smiled at her weakly. 

“I’m just worried about them, Zero Two. I-“ 

“I understand.” She clasped her hands together too. “If we pray hard enough, they’ll hear us, and they’ll know that we want them to be safe. Although, I’m sure they already know this.” She smiled encouragingly. “Hey...it’s okay. We’ll see them after this, safe and sound. We’ll have cake, and have another feast!” Hiro nodded, biting his lip. 

“I pray.”

* * *

 

"That looks like all of them!” Goro cried happily as the final klaxosaur exploded into a blue sludge. All around them, the air was filled with cheering. Ichigo felt her stomach flip. It was over. They had won. They were...free…

“GUYS!!!” Miku shrieked over the radio excitedly. “WE DID IT!!!” 

“I can’t believe we’re free!!” Futoshi enthused. Zorome snorted and sniffed, as if he was suppressing an extreme emotion.

“G-grow up!” He chided. Futoshi laughed. 

“Hypocrite!!!” The squad laughed together. Ichigo sighed happily, turning to the Nine Model FRANXX group that stood about two kilometres from them. They were all standing in perfect formation...apart from one, which slouched slightly. 

“Ikuno!” Ichigo called out. The FRANXX straightened up, and turned to face the Delphinium. 

“I-Ichigo- aigh!!” Ikuno cried out in pain slightly and the FRANXX creaked and slowed. 

“Are you okay??” The FRANXX nodded. “Don’t worry, Ikuno! We’re free!! You’re free!!! As soon as we’re done here, you can come with me, and we can live our own lives!! Away from here!” The FRANXX trembled. 

“Really?” She whispered. Delphinium nodded earnestly. 

“I promise you never have to pilot again!” 

Ikuno was lost for words. This sounded like heaven. A world without piloting...a world without the Nines…a world with just her and Ichigo, forever. A single tear escaped her eye. 

“Ichigo, I-“ The ground started to rumble. Ikuno’s eyes widened in fear. “What’s going on?!” She cried in alarm. 

Delphinium wobbled and struggled to keep its balance. “What’s happening??” Ichigo shrieked. The ground beneath them cracked and split, opening up to reveal the biggest klaxosaurs they had ever seen. “Goro!” 

“I see it!” He cried in panic. 

“What’s going  **_ON_ ** ???” Zorome shrieked, his eyes wide with terror. “What is HAPPENING?” 

“WHAT’S THAT???” Kokoro shrieked in fear, the Genista pointing to the sky. Something was falling from the sky at a high speed, heading straight for them. Ichigo felt her stomach twist. There wasn’t just one...there were...hundreds…thousands…

“G-GET BACK!” She cried in panic. “GET- AIGH!” She paused, the Delphinium creaking. There was a sharp pain in her head that she couldn’t shake, boring itself into her skull. 

_ “The takeover has begun.”  _

“D-Do you guys hear that??” Mitsuru snapped nervously, massaging his own temples. 

_ “This is the beginning of the end. The klaxosaur’s numbers are dwindling. We are now in control of this war. Soon, you will all perish at the hands of VIRM.”  _

“VIRM??” Miku cried.

“War?!” Nachi cried.

“Papa!!” Zorome yelled angrily, placing a face to the voice. “Th-that’s Papa!!” 

_ “You have done well...but now...you must surrender yourselves to the cause. If you resist. You will die. This is VIRM’s will.” _

Futoshi shook his head. “This is  _ mental _ ! We need to-” He was cut off as something slammed into the Genista, sending it skidding sideways across the ground. 

“Kokoro!!!” Mitsuru yelled, the FRANXX shrieking in panic. A large half purple, half black monster was on top of the FRANXX, clawing at it. It seemed to appear humanoid...it had a torso...arms...legs…

But no head. 

Ichigo trembled in fear. Miku and Nachi screamed in horror. The Genista roared angrily and fired its cannon, sending the monster exploding into a shower of purple blood. Panting, it climbed onto its knees, and wiped its forehead. 

“Are you okay??” Mitsuru called. It nodded in affirmation. “Something tells me...we have another battle to fight.”

* * *

"What  _ are _ these?!” Ikuno asked in alarm, the FRANXX prodding a corpse with its toe. Delta scoffed. 

“Does it matter?? We take them down, same as those klaxosaurs!” Ikuno sighed, rolling her eyes slightly. “Hey!” Delta snapped angrily, leaning forward and smacking Ikuno on the back of her head. “Don’t give me that!” Ikuno yelped and bit her lip.  “You think you’re so great with your new haircut, and your new freedom, and your new friend...but guess what!!” She smirked coldly. “Ichigo doesn’t care about you!” Ikuno froze. All the blood drained from her face. The FRANXX creaked. 

“Wh-what?” 

“You heard me. She couldn’t care  _ less  _ about you! If you were in a life or death situation, there’s  _ no way _ she would get to you to save you!” Ikuno felt tears prick her eyes. “She just needs someone to lean on! She’ll latch onto whoever comes her way if it means she can tell them her problems! You’re just another shoulder to cry on!” Ikuno bowed her head, her arms shaking. She sniffed. Delta smiled, her eyes alight with malice.

 

_ “...be honest with yourself…” _

 

“No.” Ikuno said slowly. The smile fell from Delta’s face. 

“Wh-what??”

 

_ “....it’s okay...not to be okay…”  _

 

“NO!” Ikuno cried, raising her head. Her eyes glowed with a cyan tinge, her incisors sharp and bared. She turned her head to face Delta, and even in the dull light of the cockpit, the green haired girl could see the glow of horns underneath her fringe. She gasped, her face paling. “You’re WRONG!” Ikuno growled. “Ichigo loves me!! She LOVES ME! AND I LOVE HER!!” She roared defensively, sending the FRANXX forward, spearing multiple VIRM monsters at once. “AND  _ YOU. _ ” She swung the FRANXX round, batting away their attacks. “ _ ARE… _ ” She kicked them away. “ _ WRONG!!!!”  _ She lowered her head, panting hard. The glow slowly faded. Delta shook her head. 

“Wh..what  _ are  _ you??” 

“I’ve asked myself the same thing for as long as I can remember.” Ikuno said in a low voice. “But I know what I am. I’m not a Nine. I’m not one of you.” She clenched her fists. “I’m not your  _ toy _ .” She spat. She raised her head, blood running down from her nose. “I’m Code:196.” She panted, smirking, spotting the blue flashes of the Delphinium’s metal body about a kilometer away. “I’m Ikuno. And I...am in love with Code:015.” Delta was lost for words, shrinking back in fear. “And when we’re done here…” Ikuno continued. “...I’m going to kiss her.” Delta whimpered with disgust. Ikuno smiled. A genuine smile, that came from deep inside her, and sprouted into a large grin. Her heart fluttered in her chest. Her life with Ichigo was going to begin. 

  
  


And then the FRANXX was knocked sideways. 

 

Ikuno gasped, clenching her teeth. Both her arms screamed with pain. She looked up, and saw a swarm of VIRM monsters surrounding their FRANXX. Delta pulled on the controls desperately. 

“FIGHT BACK!!” Ikuno lowered her head to fight, but her eyes widened as she came to the heart stopping realisation. 

“Th-they took the arms!” She cried, sitting up in alarm. Delta glanced outside and trembled as she saw the arms of the FRANXX be crushed within the jaws of the monsters. They gripped the torso of the FRANXX, pinning it to the floor, and began to claw at it, tearing it apart.

“I DON’T WANT TO DIE!” Delta shrieked, her face white as a sheet. She leaped out of her seat, causing Ikuno to fall sideways, out of her own seat, her arms throbbing with pain. “NO!” The monsters gripped ahold of the legs of the FRANXX, ripping from them from the body. Ikuno sighed and shut her eyes, her stomach sinking. This was it. They were going to die. Around her, she could hear a deafening creaking and crashing as the metal body of the mecha were destroyed. They were surrounded. They weren’t going to escape from this. This was her fault. Her fault for standing up for herself…

 

For hoping she could have a happy ending.

 

Reaching up, she pressed the communications button, her stomach twisting into knots, her eyes swimming with tears. 

 

“H..” The radio fizzled into life, then bled away into distortion. Delphinium paused, and frowned. 

“Hello??”

“HELP!!” Delta was shrieking. “PLEASE! I DON’T WANT TO DIE!” Ichigo felt her stomach drop.

“I-Ikuno???”

“Ichigo.” Ikuno’s voice was shaking, and her voice cracked. “I’m sorry....I’m sorry...It’s over...I’m so sorry...” Delphinium trembled.

“Wh-what?? Where are you!”

“I’m sorry, Ichigo. I am. I…” The radio fizzled into distortion again. Delphinium turned sharply, to see the Nine model FRANXX about a kilometer away, its limbs ripped from its body, and the head firmly in the jaws of a VIRM monster.

“Ikuno?? Ikuno!! NO!!” Ichigo screamed, sending the Delphinium running towards the lifeless mecha. “NO!!!  **NO!!!!** ” The radio crackled. Delphinium was 500 meters away….300….150…

 

“I love you, Ichigo.” Ikuno whispered, shutting her eyes, her voice thick with tears. 

 

After all...there was no such thing as a happy ending...

 

The monster bit down, crushing the head between its jaws. Ichigo’s eyes widened, her stomach freefalling out of her body.

  
  
  


The head crashed to the floor. The spear was through the monster’s body. The blood splattered onto the floor. 

 

Ichigo was panting, her eyes glowing with rage, her teeth bared. 

 

On the other end of the radio….there was silence. 

  
  
  


* * *

 

_ “Ikuno.” Ikuno looked up sharply. Nana sighed and shook her head. “Talk to me. What’s going on?” Ikuno averted her gaze, her hands slipping over one another.  _

_ “N-Nothing.” Nana raised one eyebrow skeptically.  _

_ “Ikuno.” Ikuno shook her head. “Come on. You’ve never been one to lash out at anyone before. Especially Ichigo. What’s troubling you?”  _

_ “Nothing!” Ikuno protested. “It’s fine!” Nana sighed again.  _

_ “Ikuno. Listen to me. If something bothers you, you must tell someone. Nothing gets better if you hold it in. Nothing ever gets better that way. If you want to improve the way you live now, you have to make a stand and tell someone. Maybe not me, maybe not Mitsuru, but  _ someone _.” She gently stroked Ikuno’s light purple hair. “Please. Life is too short for you to live it unhappily. You must promise me you’ll be honest with yourself. If you feel a certain way, allow yourself to feel like that. It’s okay not to be okay, as long as you’re honest with yourself and everyone around you.” Ikuno looked away.  _

_ “I see. I must be honest with myself.” Nana nodded.  _

_ “Nobody knows how you feel better than you.” Ikuno shrugged.  _

_ “I understand.” _

* * *

Ikuno gasped, pulling herself out of the flashback. Who was that woman? How did she know her name? Why had she lashed out at Ichigo?? She winced weakly. Her body...her feelings...all she felt was pain. Pain...everywhere...everything hurt…

Her vision swam into focus.

Delta, staring at the ceiling, her eyes wide open and glassy.

Her vision blurred.

 

_ Is this it? _

 

Her vision swam into focus. 

Shouting, outside.

 

_ Am I going to die? _

 

Her vision blurred.

 

_ Please...no...I don’t want to go… _

 

Black spots appeared in her vision. 

 

_ I don’t want to go… _

 

Muffled yelling. 

 

_ I want to see her...one more time… _

 

A bright light…a blurred figure...

 

_ One more time...before I go… _

 

Black consumed her vision. 

 

_ No… _

 

The world faded into silence.

 

_ Ichigo...I’m sorry… _

* * *

“ **_IKUNOOOO!!!_ ** ” Ichigo screamed in desperation, the Delphinium pulling at the crushed head of the FRANXX. “ **_NO!!! NO!!!_ ** **_NO!!!!_ ** ” There were tears streaming down her face, thick and fast, and mucus was dribbling down to her lips. The door hatch clicked open, and the FRANXX pulled it away, before setting the head down onto the floor, and deactivating. Ichigo stumbled from the cockpit, Goro on her heels. They reached the crushed doorway of the Nine’s cockpit. Ichigo was panting, her vision blurry with tears. She wiped her nose with the back of her hand. “ **_IKUNO!!!_ ** ” She climbed into the cockpit and gagged. There was blood everywhere. On the floor, on the walls. Draped across the Stamen seat, was Delta, her eyes clouded over, staring into nothingness, her head bleeding profusely, and her body mangled far beyond repair. Ichigo shook. “No...no….NO!!” She ran to the green haired girl and checked for a pulse. 

  
  


Nothing. 

Backing away, Goro held onto her to keep her upright. 

“Don’t look, Ichigo...don’t...don’t look…” Ichigo’s gaze settled on the hand that was protruding limply from behind the Stamen seat. It lay motionless on the floor, the white material of the uniform stained with dark red. 

“G-Goro…” She weakly pointed to the protruding limb. Goro shook his head, his stomach dropping. 

“No. Don’t look Ichigo. Go...go outside.” Goro tried to steer her away, but the small girl broke free and raced to the back of the cockpit, dodging the disfigured walls. “Ichigo!” 

Ichigo fell to her knees. 

 

She tried to speak, but no words came out. 

  
  


Ikuno’s face was an ashen grey. Her eyes were half shut, half open. Her mouth was slightly open, and a trickle of blood was running onto the floor from the corner. Her hair was completely white, the tips and roots stained red with blood, a large gash on her head. Her arms were definitely broken, and so was one of her legs. The other…

Ichigo felt herself start to hyperventilate. 

 

Her other leg was crushed underneath a disfigured wall shard. Even from where Ichigo was sitting, she could see…

Her leg was destroyed from the knee down. 

 

And there was a large piece of metal protruding from her back. 

* * *

 

The day of the funerals was cloudy, and dull. Ichigo stood alone, her face stony and set. She watched each member of her squad lay a small flower on the smaller gravestones. Goro turned to her, invitingly holding out a sakura blossom. 

 

“Here.” Ichigo wrinkled her nose. Goro sighed. “I’m sorry, Ichigo. I am. Please-” Ichigo turned on her heel and ran, tears streaming down her face. She kept running, past the potato patches they were beginning to dig, past the washing that was hung out to dry, past the Parasites, who all averted their gaze as she passed them. She kept running, and didn’t stop, until she reached the cubby that they shared as their living quarters. She held Augustus tightly in her arms, hunched over on her bed. Tears dripped onto the bed linen. She gasped for air, her body shaking with sobs. Loud, pained sobs, that echoed into every room in their quarters. She lay on her side in a fetal position, gripping the cat tightly, and cried herself to sleep, feeling the absence of Ikuno’s arms around her more than ever.

 

* * *

 

 

Goro sat at the table, his hands around a mug of warm water. He stared into space, his body filled with dread. Ichigo had been in her room all day. Nobody could console her. Nobody could calm her down. She had completely blocked herself off from the world. A hand on his shoulder made him start and shake his head, resuming his awareness of the world. The girl sat down opposite him, a bread roll in her hand. 

“Hey, Goro.” 

“Hey Nachi.” The girl broke the bread in half and held the larger portion out to him. “Thanks, but I’m good.”

“You haven’t eaten all day.” She observed carefully, placing it firmly next to his hand. “You’ll be hungry.” Goro smirked softly. 

“You remind me of Futoshi.” The girl blushed slightly. 

“Is that a bad thing?” Goro shook his head. “O-oh. Good. I like Futoshi. A lot. He’s very sweet.” Goro nodded, picking up the soft roll and biting it slightly. Reminding himself of his dwindling hunger, he took a larger bite, chewing slowly. The girl giggled. “Told you.” Finishing his half of the roll, Goro took a long drink, and sighed. “Have you heard from Ichigo?” He shook his head. 

“She’s still in her room.” 

“It’s my room too.” The girl shrugged. “I know she doesn’t like me sleeping in Ikuno’s bed...but-” 

“She just finds it hard to let go of the past.” Goro reassured her. “You’re more than welcome in our squad.” The girl looked at the floor shamefully. 

“I just feel like sometimes I’m intruding. Especially now since-” She bit her lip. “I feel like you all need each other’s support more than ever.” Goro shrugged. 

“That may be. It’s true.” He wiped his eyes. “This will be hard for everyone. But the more people we have to support one another, the easier it will be.” The girl nodded hesitantly. “We’re lucky we have you, Nachi. Without you, Mitsuru would have been taken away as well.” The girl’s eyes filled with tears.  “Are you okay?” 

“I...I don’t want to pilot with him anymore.” She whispered. Goro was taken aback. He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, and leant towards the girl’s reddened face.

“What’s wrong?” 

“Wh-when we connect...I see things…” She sobbed sharply. “Things he’s done. Things he thinks. Things he regrets.” She furiously wiped her eyes. “I...I don’t like them.” Goro adjusted his seat, so that he was sitting upright. 

“What did he do?” The girl shrugged.

“I wasn’t sure...I wasn’t sure who...it was.” She began slowly. “B-but when I saw her with the Nines...I-”

“Ikuno?” The girl nodded and continued. 

“I-Ikuno. Mitsuru...he...he did horrible things to her.” Large tears slid down her cheeks. “He would..he-he would…” She coughed. “He would hit her...he...he would...he would hurt h-h-her.” She struggled to control her breathing. “He was s-so scared of her…” 

“Scared of her?” Goro felt sick. This couldn’t be true...yet-

The girl’s reaction was so genuine. 

 

She nodded, gulping hard. 

“I didn’t know i-if it was her...in the memories I-I saw… her hair was pu-purple.” Goro shook his head in disbelief. Nachi was never told about Ikuno. Only that Mitsuru had a partner, and she was no longer suited to pilot in their squad. She had to be telling the truth. “He was scared of her be-because…” 

“Because she was in love with Ichigo.” The two Parasites at the table turned sharply. Mitsuru was standing in the doorway, his head hung, his hair messy. Tears slowly dripped from his eyes, and his hands were clenched into fists. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those wondering about "Nachi", she is not my own creation. I simply gave her a code and a corresponding name to her role in the anime. 
> 
> although that hint is given, i think you still might be able to figure out who she is


	25. Chapter 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the chapter where things calm down before the final conclusion, and some things are resolved, hence why it's very short
> 
> aka the chapter where ichigo cries literally all the time whats with that

“Nothing can excuse what I’ve done.” Mitsuru confessed glumly, his head hung. “And I don’t expect forgiveness.” Goro was in shock. He shook his head in disbelief. 

“Y-you used to hit her?” Mitsuru sighed with frustration. 

“No. Much more than that.” He bit his lip. “I was so scared of her... _ for _ her...I tried to beat her into normality again.” He gagged, disgusted by his own actions. “I...I thought I could fix her…” He buried his head in his hands. “This is all my fault.” Goro felt sick. He rubbed his forehead. 

“Does Nana know?” Mitsuru nodded.

“And Hachi. And Dr Franxx. He congratulated me...he told me I had helped his research.” He sniffed. “I thought I was doing the right thing.” He began to cry, his back heaving, his cold facade broken. “B-but seeing how the Nines abused her…it tore me up...I-I…can’t believe that was me…”

Goro sighed, pushing his glasses up his face. “I…” 

“I’m so, so sorry.” Mitsuru muttered. He raised his gaze to the trembling girl at the table. “Nachi..I-” 

“Stop.” Goro was firm. “Stop for a minute.” He was pale, and his head spun with questions. “Does anyone else know?” Mitsuru shook his head. “How could you?” Mitsuru rubbed his eyes, his back heaving. 

“I’m sorry-”

“Sorry doesn’t fix what you did.” 

“I-I know-”

“You destroyed her.”

“I-”

“You abused her and destroyed her.” Mitsuru was silent. “I…I don’t want to think about what you did to her.” His face drained completely of colour. “When...when she was beaten almost to death…” Mitsuru buried his head in his arms. “Mitsuru…” 

“I’M SORRY!!” He shrieked, his body shaking. Goro gagged. 

“You’re despicable.” Mitsuru nodded. “You’re a monster.” He nodded again. “How could you…? She never hurt anybody...she was so kind and sweet....and you took that from her…” 

“I’m sorry…” The boy murmured. “I know...I know…” Goro paused, his heart racing. He was horrified beyond comparison. He was...horrified. His heart was fluttering in his chest. All this time...after all this time...it was Mitsuru....

He thought of Ikuno. Struggling to walk, bleeding and bruised, her eyes empty and soulless. He clenched his fists. Ikuno never hurt anybody. Ikuno loved everyone. She was kind and sweet to everyone...she put up with the Nine’s abuse for Ichigo’s sake...she endured Mitsuru’s abuse for Kokoro’s sake… 

She had always thought of everyone else before herself. 

 

And now he had to do the same. 

 

“We won’t tell anyone.” Mitsuru raised his head. Nachi nodded.

“Wh-what?” 

“Ikuno did what was best for everyone, even when she was suffering.” Goro got to his feet. “And now we need to do the same.” He held out his hand to Mitsuru, helping the boy to his feet. “I will never forgive you for this, and if it was up to me, I’d turn you in right now.” Mitsuru nodded. “But we can try and put this past us. Ichigo will never know. Kokoro will never know.” Mitsuru glanced up sharply. “I know...I know you like her.” He blushed. “And I will be watching you as carefully as I possibly can. Do not try anything with her, or Nachi. Or I swear, I will tell everyone.” Mitsuru nodded, hanging his head. 

“I understand.”

* * *

Ichigo sat under the sakura tree, breathing in the warm summer air. Petals slowly drifted down around her. She smiled and shut her eyes, leaning back. A pair of arms encased her body, and a chin rested on top of her head. A kiss was planted on her cheek. She opened her eyes. Ikuno’s white hair flowed next to her, the girl’s cheek against her own. Ichigo smiled. 

“Hey, Ikuno.” Ikuno giggled. 

“Hello, my Darling.” She kissed Ichigo’s cheek again. Ichigo sniffed, her eyes filled with tears. She pulled Ikuno’s arms around her further, feeling her warmth. 

“Why did you leave...Kuno?” Ichigo sniffed, tightening her grip on Ikuno’s hands. “Wh-why did you leave me?” Ikuno sighed sadly. 

“I’m sorry, Ichigo.” Ichigo sat up and turned, sitting on her knees. The beautiful face of her Darling stared back at her, just like she had remembered it. Her freckles complementing her skin perfectly...her eyes...a little too large for her face...but perfectly placed. She looked happy. She looked content. Taking Ikuno’s face in her hands, she sniffed, feeling her tears run down her face. 

“Why did you go…” 

“I tried to stay, Ichigo. More than anything...I wanted to spend these days with you. I was looking forward to it. I dreamed about you...I dreamed about it…” She slowly held Ichigo’s face in her own hands. “I’m sorry, my Darling.” She leaned in and kissed Ichigo on the lips, her warm skin reminding Ichigo of the one magical night they had spent together. “There’s no such thing as a happy ending.” Ichigo shook her head, kissing Ikuno again. 

“No! That’s not true! I promise you! We can get through this!” Ikuno smiled sadly. 

“I’m sorry.” She kissed Ichigo’s forehead. “I never got mine...but it’s not too late for you to get yours.” Ichigo shook her head. 

“Ikuno...no…” 

“Go, Ichigo...live your life with Goro...he loves you more than words can say. I’m sorry I couldn’t give you the life you deserved...but it’s not too late for you.” 

“No!” Ichigo cried, her cheeks wet with tears. “Let me stay here with you!!” Ikuno shook her head. “Please!!! I love you!! Please!!” Ikuno smiled sadly, and kissed Ichigo’s hands, and then her cheeks, and then her lips. 

“I’m sorry, Ichigo.” She leaned back against the bare tree, her eyes closing, blood running down from the corner of her mouth…

 

And a piece of metal protruding from her chest.

 

“Ikuno??? IKUNO!! NO!! IKUNO!!!!”

  
  


“ **IKUNO!!!!** ” Ichigo sat up, panting. She turned to face the other bed in the room she shared. It was occupied, the dark haired girl sitting up, rubbing her eyes groggily.

“I-Ichigo?” Nachi trembled slightly. “Are you okay?” Ichigo felt around in the dark and hugged the cat to her chest, depression flooding her body. She had felt it all. It had all been so real...their kisses...her breath tickling her cheeks...her warmth…

 

It had all been in her head.

Before the girl could say anything, Ichigo was sobbing, kissing the top of the cat’s head repeatedly. The door slid open, and Kokoro and Miku burst in, their faces etched with worry. 

“Ichi?”

“Ichigo!” Miku switched on the dim lamp that lit the small room, flooding it in a weak orange glow. The tears in her leader’s eyes glistened, and her green eyes were alight with sadness. “Oh...oh Ichigo…” 

“I-I’m sorry Miku…” The girl murmured through her tears. “I-I’m sorry Ko-Ko-Kokoro!!” She hiccuped. “I can’t do th-this anymore!!” Before she could react, the two girls were seated, one either side of her, their arms around her. Kokoro rested her head on Ichigo’s shoulder, and Miku softly stroked her hair. “Wh-”

“We miss her too.” Miku whispered. “Nobody said we found this easy.” Her own eyes filled with tears. “This is going to be hard. But we can do it.” Ichigo’s vision blurred, and she hunched over, stroking the cat softly. 

“I l-love her…” 

“I know.” Kokoro said gently. 

“I-I miss her…” 

“I know.” Miku whispered. 

“I...I want to-”

“No.” Nachi said firmly. She got out of her bed and knelt in front of the crying girls, taking Ichigo’s hands in her own. “You won’t. Your life is too short to live it unhappily. Don’t focus on what Ikuno and you _ could  _ have done. Focus on what you  _ did  _ do. Think about the happiness you shared, the laughs, the smiles.” Ichigo sniffed. “Only you have those memories. They’re special to you, and only to you. Nobody else has them. If you die, you take them with you, and they’re gone forever. Is that what you want?” Ichigo shook her head. “Right. So, no more of this talk. Stay alive for her, as well as you.” Ichigo wiped her eyes with the tail of the cat, nodding.

* * *

 

Several weeks passed. Ichigo counted it. She counted the days. Sunrise. Sunset. Sunrise. Sunset. Every day the same. Get up, tend to the plants. Count supplies. Go to sleep. Get up, tend to the plants. Tend to water supplies. Go to sleep. 

Every day the same. 

 

Life without Ikuno seemed worthless to say the least. She saw the surviving members of the Nines, clustered together, their pride destroyed. Since the Adults had left them, they lacked their maintenance, and each one of them were now sporting a greyish tinge to their skin, with heavy bags under their eyes. Ichigo knew it was bad, but part of her relished seeing them like this; a justifiable end to those who did nothing but cause pain to others. They mourned their squad sure enough, but Ichigo found herself questioning the sincerity of their sadness. 

 

After all, they weren’t human. 

 

 

It was the beginning of the fourth week that everything started to change. 

Nana and Hachi had returned, alive and unscathed. Nana required a wheelchair to move, but this was dismissed by her quickly as nothing serious. Because they were back, medical treatment in the Bird’s Nest could begin to improve. They helped the few remaining Adults to be more effective in their treatments, so sick Parasites could be given the help they needed, whereas the ones they could not save were given the send off they deserved. Ichigo watched the Children, some Stamens, some Pistils, happily run from the infirmary to meet their squads again, having been patched up and fixed. 

She knew it was impossible, but every day she longed for a tall girl with white hair to walk out, nervously clutching the hem of her dress, smiling at her from underneath large square glasses.

She saw Ikuno everywhere she went. Her empty table at meals. Her small empty room in the Nines’ quarters. The small potatoes they were growing…

They wouldn’t have had the faintest idea how to grow plants if it hadn’t been for Futoshi. He had passed on the knowledge Ikuno had given him, allowing them to make a start on their new life.

 

Ikuno had saved them again. 

  
  


She lay in her bed, facing the wall. The duvets felt heavy on her body, sticking to her skin. Sighing deeply, she hugged the black cat close to her. She remembered the day she had given Ikuno her own cat. The snow falling...the window clouded up. Her lips on Ikuno’s, the cat held between them. Her eyes widened. Ikuno had taken the brown cat with her when they had separated in the infirmary. She remembered it, clutched in her friend's pale hand. But...that must mean... 

It must still be in her room.

Sitting up sharply, Ichigo glanced round to make sure she didn’t wake up her sleeping roommate. She had to get that cat back. It was her last surviving physical reminder of the girl she loved.

 

She _had_  to. 

  
  


Padding down the corridors softly, she tucked her hair behind her ear. The last thing she wanted was to be caught wandering the corridors. Goro and Hiro worried too much about her as it was. Stepping carefully, she prised the door to the now vacated Nines quarters open. The silence was deafening. Discarded items lay strewn across the floor. The curtains had been ripped down from where they had hung, used in the infirmary instead. The moonlight was streaming in, lighting up the area of the building in a light blue hue. She tentatively headed into the corridor that led to the rooms that they shared. The quarters had been abandoned. It was heartbreaking, in a way. Everything she had once learned to fear, now seemed so trivial. So weak. She stepped over the broken glass carefully, opening the door to the first room on the left. Two small beds lay on either side of the room. That was it. Nothing else. Ichigo swallowed hard and shut the door carefully. Were the Nines that apathetic that they didn’t even own any physical items? She felt sick in her stomach. Turning slowly, she opened the first door on the right. The same. Two beds. One large window. Nothing else.

 

Reaching the end of the corridor, she felt her stomach twist as she placed her hand on the knob of the final door. It was the smallest door. The most battered looking door. Twisting, she slowly entered what could have only been her Darling’s room. 

Her eyes filled with tears. 

 

One small, rickety bed was pushed against the wall. A small, single window was placed near the top of the furthest wall. The bedsheets of the bed were strewn across the floor. The carpets were stained with blood. The sheets were stained with blood. There were blood splatters on the wall. The cat lay, its stuffing slightly protruding from its neck, in the single square of light the window cast onto the floor. Ichigo slowly walked towards the bed, sitting down onto the mattress. The tears slipped down her cheeks. She ran her hand over the mattress softly. Ikuno had slept here, cried here...been lonely here. She gagged and let out a small sob at the thought of what Delta had done to her as she lay on the mattress, completely defeated, surrendering herself to the girl. Picking up the pillow, she held it to her face, and inhaled. Even after all these weeks, she could still smell Ikuno’s vanilla shampoo...with a slight hint of lavender that Ichigo had never been able to place. She hugged it close to her, crying into the cotton, her face starting to ache. 

“IKUNO!!” She screamed into the pillow, her throat instantly hurting. “IKUNO!!! I LOVE YOU!! WHY DID YOU LEAVE ME!!!” She lay on her side, clutching the pillow in her arms. “COME BACK!!! PLEASE!  **COME BACK!!!** IT’S NOT FAIR!! IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN ME!!” She wiped her eyes with the pillowcase, her anger seeping out of her body. “I-It should have been me…” She murmured, her vision blurred with the tears that were spilling over. She should have reached the FRANXX in time. She had hesitated. Her Darling was calling for her. She had needed her…

 

So why had she hesitated? 

  
  


Picking up the cat, Ichigo sighed and wiped her nose with the back of her hand. It was slightly ripped at the neck, and one of it's back legs had been torn off. Raising it to her nose, she inhaled, and sighed happily as the faint scent of strawberries filled her nostrils. She lay back onto Ikuno’s bed hugging it tight and curling up into a fetal position, feeling her Darling’s strong presence around her for the first time since that tragic day. 

 

For the first time in over a month, Ichigo slept deeply, a faint smile on her face.

* * *

 

Several floors beneath the sleeping girl, Dr FRANXX hobbled down a long, dimly lit corridor, Nana and Hachi in his wake. He had narrowly escaped the destruction of the lab that led to Star Entity, Nine Alpha swooping in and grabbing ahold of him in the nick of time. He had survived...but he wasn’t convinced. He was noticing it every passing day. Now that VIRM had taken all the souls they had come to acquire, they had vanished, and taken their Magma solution with them.  

The only thing keeping him alive. 

“D-Doctor..” Nana coughed weakly. “Mind telling us where we’re going?” He turned, his eye glinting sadly. 

“I’m dying, Nana. I am.” He stopped at a door and began to type furiously into the number pad on the wall. “Any day now, I suspect will be my last.” He paused and coughed violently. “So, there is something you must do. A final job, that I must give to you both.” The door slid open, and Nana and Hachi gasped. 

Row upon row of children, frozen in cryo-pods. Moving her chair up to the closest one, Nana ran her hand down the glass gently, leaving slight condensation smears. 

“These children…” 

“All deemed unfit to pilot.” The Doctor concluded, with an air of pride. 

“Naomi…” Hachi muttered, staring down at the brown haired girl’s blank expression. Nana clapped her hands over her mouth. 

“I want you to be these children’s Adults. You have learned to love, and be loved in return. That’s hard to come by nowadays.” He winked at them. “I want you both to guide them. Teach them. Help them grow and learn.” He sighed and began to walk towards the back of the room. Nana and Hachi glanced at each other nervously, processing this new information. “And…” The Doctor sighed, his voice cracking with emotion. “...There’s just one more experiment I need your help with.” Nana shook her head instantly. 

“No. I won’t help you hurt these children anymore.” He turned to her, his human eye clearly filled with a single tear. 

“Who says I want to hurt them?” He said slowly. “I’m a great scientist, Nana. I have done the impossible. But, I am dying. I won’t be around for much longer. So, before I go, I want to do one good thing in my scummy, dishonest life.” He pressed a button, causing the pod nearest to him to release itself from the wall with a low hissing sound. Wiping away the condensation, he looked at the child inside. Nana and Hachi approached the pod cautiously. Hachi raised his eyebrows. Nana burst into tears. 

“Doctor…” He nodded in reply. 

“So now you understand. Will you help me, one more time?” 

Wiping the tears from her eyes, the red haired woman sniffed and nodded. 


	26. Chapter 26

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reunion chapter yay 
> 
> I'll explain each aspect of this more in the next ones i just wanted to get this out before midterms
> 
> enjoy!

Ichigo opened her eyes slowly. A hand was on her cheek,caressing it slowly. She smiled, and sniffed.

“...Kuno…”

“Ichigo.” Ichigo sat up straight, her eyes wide. Nana smiled at her comfortingly, her eyes filled with happiness. She looked tired, very tired, and her hair was dishevelled. 

“Nana?” Nana smiled again, tears escaping her eyes. “What’s wrong?”

“Come with me,dear.” She held her hand out. Sighing, Ichigo took it, clutching the cat in her other hand. She let the woman lead her out of the Nine’s Quarters and down the winding white corridors of the Bird’s Nest. 

“I-I’m not in trouble, am I?” Ichigo asked nervously. “I only sleep better when I’m in there, so I’ve only been going for about a week-” 

“Shhh.” Nana smiled down at her. “Keep going.” They reached the infirmary. Ichigo felt her stomach twist. Why were they here? Was someone in her squad ill? She couldn’t take that. The two headed inside, where Goro was seated, his head in his hands. At the sight of the two girls, he stood up and wiped his eyes. Ichigo broke free of Nana’s grip and ran to him, her heart pounding. 

“Goro!!” She buried her head in his chest. He hugged her back, rubbing slow circles on her back. “Wh-who is it??” She gasped out, tears of panic forming in her eyes. “Who??” Before he could answer, the door to the nearest room opened, and the rest of her squad joined them. Ichigo flew to each one of them in turn, checking them for any injuries. Miku, Kokoro, Zorome, Nachi, Futoshi, Mitsuru, Hiro, Zero Two- 

“Y...you’re all here…” She whispered in disbelief. She turned to Goro. “What’s going on??” He said nothing, but wiped his eyes again. 

“You should go in, Ichigo.” Nana said softly, her hand on the girl’s shoulder. Ichigo felt her heart pound. Were they admitting her??? Were they going to do something to her??? Stepping cautiously into the hospital room, she heard the door click shut behind her. Her stomach fell out from inside her. Her lip trembled. Tears began to flow from her eyes.

 

“I-”

 

And that was all she managed to whisper out.

 

 

* * *

"I loved someone once.” Dr Franxx mused, swirling the last of his Magma Solution inside a syringe.“I spent too much of my time devoted to this foolish cause to spend the time with her that she deserved. And then it was too late.” He sighed. “If I’d known then what I know now, I’d have done this exact same procedure on her,” Nana looked up in alarm. 

“And you now know…”

“About the properties of what Magma can do. I’ve unlocked it’s complete full potential. Cloning, extending life, you name it, I’ve done it.” He sighed again, glancing at the figure on the bed, “You know, it’s a good thing I did what I did. If i didn’t, I don’t think this would have been possible.” Nana nodded knowingly.

“I guess some things do have a bright side.” He laughed coldly.

“Maybe. I think it would be cruel...the lowest of the low...to deprive someone else of what I lost, if i was capable of giving it back to them.” He pulled down the bedclothes and shook his head. “However, that’s severe. I can’t fix that.” Nana hung her head.

“But, you can clone-”

“Cloning something in an entirely new body is different to cloning something as part of an existing body.” He shook his head again. “The purpose of this experiment is to restore life, not take it away.” Nana nodded again, silent. “Perhaps, I can devote myself to this. My most successful experiment to date. Code:196.” He gently brushed Ikuno’s hair from her face. “She really is beautiful. A final jewel in the crown of my accomplishments.” He sighed. “...Beautiful...Now.” He straightened up. “Once I inject this, she will regain consciousness almost instantly. It is your job to hold her down, and to ensure I can perform this operation swiftly.” Nana struggled to her feet and nodded, placing both hands on Ikuno’s shoulders. The Doctor nodded, and brought down the needle into Ikuno’s neck. Nana gagged, but took several deep breaths, as the orange liquid was slowly emptied into the girl’s body. A few seconds passed. Nana looked down at the girl expectantly. She remained motionless, her eyes shut, her mouth slightly open.

“Oh...oh Ikuno…” Nana murmured, stroking the lifeless girl’s face softly. “...Ikuno…”

“I’m sorry.” The Doctor sighed. “It was worth a try.” He shook his head sadly. Nana started to cry, and kissed the girl’s forehead gently, remembering the first time she had met her, all those years ago.

* * *

_ “Code:196.” The small girl with large glasses tugged on the woman’s dress.  Nana glanced down and smiled warmly.  _

_ “Yes, dear?”  _

_ “Um…” The girl grabbed the hem of her top nervously. Nana knelt down so she was eye level with the small girl. The girl blushed and looked away.  _

_ “What is it?”  _

_ “U-Um…” She wrung her hands over one another. “I...uh…”  _

_ “Yes?” _

_ “H-Hiro...he has books…” The girl shyly pointed to where a young Hiro was standing, a book in his hands, reading aloud to a group of fascinated children. Nana nodded. “I-I was wondering i-if...I could get one too…please.”  Nana was taken aback. No child had ever independently asked for something before. She smiled all the same.  _

_ “I’m sure I can get something sorted out.” The girl’s small face lit up, her green eyes glinting, her purple hair tied up in a messy ponytail, which bounced excitedly.  _

_ “Th-thank you!” She hugged Nana around the shoulders. The woman felt herself well up. The small girl’s arms were wrapped around her body, her happiness radiating off of her.  _

_ “Call me Nana.” The girl pulled back and grinned shyly.  _

_ “Thank you Nana.”  _  
  


 

_ “A child asked for what?” Franxx snapped impatiently. Nana squirmed.  _

_ “A-A book.” The Doctor snorted.  _

_ “Code?”  _

_ “196.” Tapping on the computer, Ikuno’s smiling face was brought up on the large screen.  _

_ “Interesting.” Franxx stroked his metal chin. “Very interesting. Such a low code for such a smart child.” He turned to the two Adults that stood behind him. “You can get this little girl a book.” Nana breathed a sigh of relief. “But only after you bring her to me.” Nana paled. “I want to try something on her.” They nodded, exiting the room instantly. Nana shook her head.  _

_ “Doctor...please, no…” He held up his hand to silence her.  _

_ “Independent thoughts are a danger here. Where they have come from within this triple digited child are unknown. If I don’t take action, this girl could be problematic not just for me, but for the entire FRANXX project in general. Am I clear?” Nana glanced around at the CCTV footage that was fed to the room. Ikuno was in the grip of the two Adults, and they were dragging her, screaming, from the Nursery. She bit her lip, but gasped as a blue haired girl ran after her, pulling on her hand in a weak attempt to keep her inside the safety of the room. “Am I clear??” Nana tore her gaze from the screen, and nodded.  _

_ “Yes.”  _

* * *

Darkness. 

 

_ (Where am I?)  _

 

Black. 

 

_ (Hello???) _

 

Emptyness. 

 

_ (I’m scared...please...where am I...where’s Ichigo???)  _

 

Alone.

 

_ (Please...I want Ichigo…)  _

 

A small light. 

 

_ (Please…) _

 

Closer.

 

_ (It hurts…)  _

 

Larger.

 

_ (Please, stop!)  _

 

Brighter. 

 

_ (Please!!!)  _

 

Overwhelmingly bright. 

 

_ (It hurts!!) _

 

Overwhelmingly blinding. 

  
  
  


For the first time in 6 weeks, Code 196 opened her eyes and sat up instinctively, gasping for air to fill her lungs.

* * *

 

Nana squealed and leaped back. Dr Franxx nodded curtly. Ikuno coughed violently, her lungs screaming for air, tears forming in her eyes. In between coughs, she gasped deeply for air, as if she might never breathe again, her chest and back heaving. She flopped back down onto the bed, panting, as her body adjusted to being out of the comatose state she had been kept in. 

“I-Ikuno?” She turned her head stiffly, to see Nana standing, her hands clasped nervously at her chest. Ikuno smiled weakly. 

“H...hey….N….Na..na…” She panted, her eyes glinting. Nana cried out happily and took the girl’s face in her hands, kissing her on the forehead. 

“Ikuno!!” The woman sobbed, smiling from ear to ear. Ikuno’s chest rose and fell, her eyes half closed.She smiled weakly again, her energy depleting. “Oh...oh….” 

“I...it hurts…” Ikuno whispered, her arms twitching. Nana sighed sadly, looking at the girl’s mangled limbs. 

“I know, dear. Don’t worry. We’re going to fix you up.” She kissed Ikuno’s forehead again. “I promise.” Ikuno exhaled deeply. 

“M...y legs...th...they hurt...Nana…” Nana bit her lip. 

“I know…” She inhaled sharply, unable to tell the girl the truth. She stroked the girl’s hair slowly. “Listen to me...You’re going to be okay. You’re going to…” Ikuno’s eyes slowly closed. “Ikuno??!!” The girl’s breathing slowed. “IKUNO!!” 

“Nothing to be alarmed about.” Dr Franxx mused, withdrawing the needle from Ikuno’s arm. “I have to sedate her if we are to realign her bones, and such.” 

“What about her…” Nana trailed off. Dr Franxx sighed. 

“I’ll deal with that when the time comes. I am already working on a construction of something that can take care of that problem.” He carefully placed some gloves on, and lowered a light from the ceiling. “Get your gloves on, Nana. We have some operating to do. And it doesn’t stop there.” He winked. “Once this is done, I have access to one more memory chamber. And we’re going to do whatever we can to get into VIRM’s archives, and get what we need to get. It’s all in there somewhere...You just need to know...where to look.” 

 

* * *

 

“I-” Ichigo inhaled sharply. The girl in the bed smiled weakly, and let out a small laugh. 

 

“Hello...Darling.” 

* * *

Ichigo sat, gulping for air. Goro held a glass of water to her lips. Sipping slowly, she sniffed, and cleared her throat. Her head was spinning. Her eyes filled with constant never ending tears. Her body felt weak. Around her, the sounds were muffled. Goro patted her on the back slowly. She blinked, the world around her phasing back into life. 

“G-Goro…” 

“Ichigo! You’re okay!” He cried in relief. “You passed out! I thought you weren’t going to wake up!!” Ichigo rubbed her head. 

“I...I passed out???” She asked in confusion. Goro nodded. “So...so all of this…Everything I saw…” She sighed, rubbing her eyes, her stomach sinking. “It was all in my head again…” A light laugh from the other side of the room caused her to jerk up, her eyes wide.

“Come on...Ichi…” The girl smiled softly, in a way only she could pull off. “Lighten up…” Ichigo sprang to her feet, sending the glass flying. Ikuno was sitting up in the bed, her arms bandaged up tightly. Her hair...was a silvery purple mix….her eyes...a beautiful shade of keppel. She smiled gently, the small crinkles underneath her eyes forming, just like they used to do. Ichigo stumbled over to the girl, her hands shaking. She reached out, and touched Ikuno’s face slowly. It was soft, and warm. Her skin was smooth. It was real.  _ She _ was real. She slowly stroked Ikuno’s cheek with her thumb. Ikuno smiled, sniffing. 

“I...Ikuno…” 

“Hello...Darling…” 

“Kuno…” Ichigo’s lip trembled. 

“I missed you.” 

“...Ikuno…” Ikuno laughed softly. 

“Why don’t you try saying something else?” She purred. Ichigo took Ikuno’s face in her hands and kissed her long and hard on the lips. Ikuno’s eyes widened. Goro blushed a deep red. After a long time, Ichigo pulled away, her eyes filled with tears. Ikuno blinked. “...I...could get used to this…” She murmured in shock. “...Say something else…” She whispered, kissing Ichigo again. 

“I love you….” Ichigo whispered, kissing Ikuno’s face. “...I love you...more than anything. I-I love you…Never leave me again....please…” Ikuno smiled and tucked Ichigo’s hair behind her ear. 

“I’m here. I’m here now. I’m not leaving you. I’m not. I promise. I swear to you.” 

Ichigo threw her arms around the girl, hugging her tightly. She felt Ikuno’s pulse...her warm body...alive...her breathing...the smell of her vanilla shampoo…

Burying her head in the girl’s shoulder, she inhaled deeply, taking in every part of her Darling, who was finally in her arms again after so long. She sighed, a genuine smile on her face, the broadest, most content smile she had ever worn, which make her cheeks hurt and her eyes water. 

Ikuno was alive. 

 

Ikuno...was alive…

 

And she was never going to let her go again.

 

“I..Ichi…” Ikuno muttered. 

“Yes??” Ichigo cried, kissing her neck. 

“Y-You’re smothering me…” Ikuno whispered. “I can’t breathe!” Ichigo released her instantly, holding her at arm’s length. 

“S-Sorry!!” The girl smiled warmly. 

“It’s okay.” She paused and coughed several times, her cheeks reddening. Ichigo watched her, tense, unsure of what to do. After a moment, she stopped, massaging her chest. 

“I’m okay.” She reassured the small girl.  “I can stay with you now. No more Nines. No more of that..illusion of a life I used to live. I’m Code:196. Your Darling. And that’s what I’m going to stay.”

“B-but what about…” Ikuno cocked her head. “The...the rest…? You know...The Nines...and...and Delta??” Ikuno’s face hardened. Her body tensed up. Her hands instinctively crossed over her chest. Her breathing quickened. Ichigo backpedalled, seeing the effect the mention of her abuser’s name had on her Darling. “I-I mean-” 

“She’s dead.” Ikuno said flatly, her breathing rapid. Ichigo reached for her slowly. 

“Ikuno…” 

“Please...don’t touch me…” She whispered, her body shaking, her face pale. Ichigo frowned and took Ikuno’s hands in hers. “Please!” 

“I’ll get Nana.” Goro said gently, leaving the room quietly. As soon as he was out of sight, Ichigo stared into Ikuno’s large eyes intently. 

“Ikuno. Talk to me. Delta is gone. She’s never coming back. Tell me what she did to you.” Ikuno looked away. “I promise you. I’m here now. She will never hurt you again.” Ikuno sniffed. “I promise.” Ichigo kissed her hands gently. “I’ll protect you. Forever.” Ikuno nodded, hanging her head. “Okay...let’s start slowly, okay?” She nodded. “Did she hurt you?” Ikuno nodded. “How?” Ikuno shrugged. “Please, Ikuno.” Ikuno sighed, before pretending to hit herself across the face. Ichigo felt her stomach twist. She nodded, controlling her breathing. “Any way else?” Ikuno nodded, putting her hands around her throat. “Any way else?” Ikuno paused, before shaking her head. “Okay. What else did she do to you?” Ikuno looked away. 

“Ichigo...please…” 

“Tell me...Darling. I can’t help you, unless you tell me. Nobody can do this alone. You tried once, and I almost lost you. I won’t lose you again.” Ikuno sighed. 

“Every day…” She began, sighing. “Every day...she would come to me. I would try to stop her…” Tears pooled in her eyes. “I’d push her...I’d cry...she wouldn’t stop...she’d...she’d touch me…” Ichigo sighed, hanging her head, and kissing her hands again. 

“Where?” Ikuno blushed. “Ikuno…” 

Ikuno sighed and pointed to her face. Ichigo nodded encouragingly. Ikuno’s hand moved down to her breasts. Ichigo bit her lip. Her hand moved down to her stomach...and then to her-

“I’m sorry…” Ikuno sobbed, her cheeks pink, her hands trembling. “I...I’m so weak-”

“No!” Ichigo pressed her forehead against Ikuno’s. “I promise. You’re not weak. You’re the strongest person I know. I say that honestly. I love you more than anything else in this world. Look at everything you’ve been through. Look at where you are now.” She started to cry. “Look at where you’re sitting now. With me. Just like you always wanted. You can still live your life. You can get past this! So listen to me when I say; you’re not weak!!” Ikuno nodded, tears running down her face. Ichigo paused, and then continued. “So..she touched you...in bad places.” Ikuno nodded. 

“D-do you think...I’m dirty?” Ichigo stared at her Darling. She shook her head insistently.

“...No…”

“Do y-you think I...do you think I’m not normal?” Ichigo buried her head into Ikuno’s shoulder. 

“No...no...never...no..Ikuno...please...never say that…” Ikuno shrugged. “I love you for you. Never change...never...ever change. It’s not wrong to love someone. It’s not  _ wrong _ to love someone. It’s not  _ abnormal  _  to love someone. Especially someone of the same gender. Love isn’t a person. Love can’t decide who you feel strongly about.” She kissed Ikuno’s neck. “But I know. I know I love you.” She drew back. “What about you?” She asked gently. “Do you love me?” Ikuno opened her mouth to answer, but was cut off as the door reopened, and Nana entered the room. 

“Ikuno.” Ikuno nodded, sniffling. “Did it happen again?” She nodded sheepishly. Nana smiled sadly. “I see.” She turned to Ichigo. “Could you excuse us?” The woman busied herself, tending to the many drips and medicine packs that lay at Ikuno’s bedside table. 

“Why? What’s going on?” Nana sighed, her face resigned to the sad truth.

“Ikuno gets very...worked up over certain topics.” Ikuno looked away. “It causes her blood pressure to increase to a dangerous level. She just needs some sedation.” Ichigo held onto Ikuno’s cold hand, her heart fluttering in her chest. She watched Nana inject the girl with some clear liquid. Ikuno’s tense grip on Ichigo’s hand relaxed. She slumped back in the bed, her eyes becoming unfocused.

“Kuno??” 

“I...I’m okay...Darling…” Ikuno breathed, her body limp. “It’s…...ok...a...y….” She trailed off, her head lolling onto her shoulder, and her eyes shutting. Ichigo pressed the girl’s hand to her lips, holding back her tears. 

“What can we do to fix this?” She whispered. “You can’t keep drugging her forever.” Nana nodded knowingly. 

“I’m trying. Now Dr Franxx is…” She paused. “Entering his final days, I need to get whatever information  I can from him regarding treating these problems.” Ichigo sighed. “Until then, this is all I can do.” Ichigo shook her head. 

“Let her come back with me.” Nana raised one eyebrow. “Let her come back to her squad. Her  _ family _ . We can take care of her…. _ I... _ can take care of her. I promise you I can do this.” 

“It’s not that simple, Ichigo.” She shook her head sadly. 

“Wh-why not?” Nana sighed. “Nana??” 

Nana said nothing. She slowly stroked Ikuno’s cheek with the back of her hand, and pulled back the bedsheets down to the girl’s ankles. Ichigo paled. She gagged, clapping both hands over her mouth. Ikuno’s left leg was bruised and battered, bandaged at the shin. Her right....

 

Was missing from the knee down. 

  
  
  
  



	27. Chapter 27

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the chapter where ikuno confessed everything that has happened to her
> 
> ichigo snaps
> 
> and then she has to make a hard choice

“Does Ikuno know…?” Ichigo glanced at the girl's legs, covered by bedclothes. Nana shook her head.

“No. And we have to keep it that way for as long as we can. She will undoubtedly notice her own leg is missing, but until then, we need to try and find a solution.” Ichigo sniffed and held the cat close to her. 

“I see.” Her face hardened. “Then we better get down to it.”

* * *

Ever since that day, Ichigo’s attitude improved tenfold.  She helped in the gardens, she helped with the mechanical aspect of things, she became a pioneer in helping the children restart their new life. Every day she visited Ikuno, the thin girl sitting in her bed, eagerly expecting her Darling to enter the room, her face streaked with earth, or sweaty from physical effort. They began to bond all over again, Ichigo giving Ikuno the emotional support she so lacked. In turn, Ikuno eventually confessed everything that Delta had done to her, including the multiple times she had been raped. The girl had been hunched over, her body shaking, her face wet with tears and burning with shame. Ichigo had simply shaken her head, and pulled Ikuno into a long and tight embrace, whispering soothingly to her, and kissing the side of her head gently. 

“I’m sorry...I’m so sorry…” Ikuno mumbled. “It’s all my fault...it’s all my fault...I deserved this…I deserved it...please...let me deserve this…it’s my fault…” 

“No.” Ichigo said firmly, her voice shaking. “You couldn’t have stopped her. You didn’t want this. Just because you let her, doesn’t mean you wanted it.” Ikuno nodded. 

“I-I thought...It would protect you…” Ikuno whispered. “I thought if I let her...she’d stop bothering you…” 

“Oh…Ikuno…” She kissed Ikuno’s wet cheek gently. “You don’t deserve this. You never deserved this. Delta was a cruel, despicable person. She saw you as a toy, something she could use for her own gain. She abused and ruined your beautiful body because she could.” She began to cry. “If I could turn back time…” She sniffed. “...I’d never have left you alone. I’d have stayed with you on the beach, in your arms.” She glanced down at the fading scar than ran across her palm. “It was only after that day that everything started to go wrong…” She sobbed. “And it was my fault…” Ikuno was in shock. After all this time…

 

Ichigo blamed herself. 

 

“Ichigo.” Ichigo looked up sharply. Ikuno’s eyes were filled with a dead, empty look. It scared her a little. 

“Y-yes?”

“Something else happened...at the beach.” Ikuno confessed quietly. Ichigo felt her stomach clench.

“Ikuno…”

“Before they found me...I…” The thin girl shook, looking down at her hands. “I ran away.” Ichigo nodded encouragingly. “A-and…” Her voice quivered. “Mitsuru..” She bit her lip. She had to tell Ichigo. If she didn’t the girl might continue to blame herself for her suffering for the rest of her life.

 

Nobody was to blame but her own self.

 

“P-promise you won’t hate me?” Ichigo nodded, kissing Ikuno’s hands.

“I can’t hate you. It’s just not in my blood.” Ikuno smiled with relief. She took a deep breath, and closed her eyes.

“Mitsuru...he...he attacked me.” Ichigo’s smile fell away. “He pushed me to the floor.” Ichigo’s face drained of colour. “He...he…” Ikuno swallowed hard. “He did the horrible thing to me.” Ichigo’s face hardened. “I-”

“The same bad thing?” Ikuno glanced at Ichigo in worry. Her face was hard, and her voice was sharp and cutting. She nodded.

“I tried to push him off...I tried to scream...nobody h-heard me...he-he said if I told anyone, he’d do it again, and he’d tell everybody that…” She bit back her tears, her cheeks filling with colour. “...That I was in love with you.”

  
  
  


“Ichigo?” Ichigo released Ikuno’s hands sharply. She stood up and turned to the door, not saying a word. “Ichi?” Ichigo paused, her hand on the doorknob. “Y-you said you wouldn’t hate me…” Ikuno murmured weakly. Ichigo sighed, and left the room, shutting the door behind her. Ikuno sighed in frustration. If only she could move her legs, she’d run after the girl, catch ahold of her, and explain everything. Ichigo had to understand...she had to… 

  
  


Ichigo stalked down the corridors towards their living quarters, her blood boiling. She slammed the door open, causing the Parasites inside to jump in alarm. Goro leaped up instantly. Hiro and Zero Two glanced up from the book they were reading. Futoshi was by the counter, kneading dough with Nachi. Kokoro was knelt on the floor, Mitsuru by her side. Ichigo scowled, making a beeline for the smug boy. 

“Ichigo!” Goro cried in alarm as the small girl drew back her fist, and hit the boy in the face. He reeled back, clutching his cheek. Kokoro squealed and scrambled back. “Ichigo!! No!!!” Ichigo leaped on top of him, hitting him over and over again with her hands, anywhere she could reach, she’d make him feel pain. He destroyed Ikuno...he was the reason all this had happened...and he’d stayed silent...he’d said  _ nothing… _

Ichigo gasped as she realised she was off the floor, her arms flailing, tears streaming down her face. Goro held her tightly in his arms. She wailed, struggling against him.

“Ichigo!! Stop!!” Hiro cried in concern, rising from his seat. Mitsuru sighed, clutching a bloodied nose.

“NO!!” Ichigo screamed. “I WON’T! IT WAS  _ HIM _ !!” She pointed at the cowering boy. “HE DID THIS!!” Mitsuru hung his head. Goro and Nachi sighed.

“She told you…” Goro sighed. “I guessed she might.” Ichigo snapped her head round, her eyes wide, glinting with rage.

“You  _ knew??? _ ” Goro nodded shamefully. He set Ichigo down onto the floor, her hands shaking. She turned to the rest of the squad. “Who else knew, huh? Who else knew that  _ HE _ …” She spat, pointing again at the boy, “...abused...hit.....a-and…” She bit her lip, the disgusting word Nana had taught her rolling around in her mouth, “....and  _ raped _ ...Ikuno...my Darling…..” All eyes turned to the boy. He blushed a deep red. Kokoro shrank back from him. Zero Two paled.

“He did  _ what _ ?”

“Y-you heard me!” Ichigo wiped her nose. “And  _ you _ know what it is, Zero Two! I know you do!” Zero Two thought back to the question the trembling girl had asked her, seated on her bed, the wrapped gift by her side.

 

_ What comes after a kiss? _

 

That had been Ikuno’s way of crying for help...to hint she knew something that children weren’t supposed to know about…

She had tried to plant alarm bells in the girl’s head....

And Zero Two had missed the cues.

 

If anything...she had made it worse. 

  
  


The pink and blue haired girls slowly opened the door to Ikuno’s room. The girl lay in her bed, sleeping softly. Taking a seat either side of her, Ichigo took the girl’s hand in her own, and sighed. Zero Two bent down, and pressed the tips of her horns to the girl’s forehead. She felt it...the shame...the fear...the pain… 

 

It must be true.

 

Drawing back, she sighed deeply.

“I’m sorry, Ichigo.” The girl hung her head. “I made this so much worse. She came to me, asking me for help. I never caught on...I could have stopped this…”

“I want Mitsuru punished.” Ichigo said darkly. She was staring at Ikuno’s still face, relaxed and peaceful. “I want him to suffer. I want him to feel  _ pain _ .” Zero Two averted her gaze. Something inside Ichigo had snapped. She could tell. The childish facade had melted away, leaving a vulnerable front. She had learned too much...too quickly. And now she had to deal with it.

“Ichigo…”

“Look at what he’s done to her.” She slowly stroked Ikuno’s hair from her face. “Look at what he’s  _ done _ . He forced her to fear him…to fear herself. Look at what he’s done…” She trailed off, her lip quivering, her eyes filled with tears. She gently turned Ikuno’s arm over. Pale white scars littered the inside of her arm. The thickest scar...the deepest cut...lay at the top, as if to mock all the others with its sheer size. A permanent reminder of her suffering she endured and kept quiet about. She placed her head against Ikuno’s shoulder. “We wouldn’t be here if he’d just let her get on with her own life.” Zero Two shook her head.

“We don’t know that. We don’t know what would have happened if he’d stayed with Kokoro. But there’s no use figuring that out now.” She stood up and pulled back Ikuno’s bedsheets, to reveal her leg. Sighing sadly, she replaced the bedsheet and rubbed her eye. “What are they going to do about this?” Ichigo shrugged, still lying on her Darling.

“They said Dr Franxx will do something about it…” She began miserably. “...But they haven’t come back with anything.” Zero Two paused for a second in thought.

“I see.” She headed to the door. “I’ll be back.”

  
  
  


Werner Frank lay on his back, his breath leaving his body with a low wheezing sound. His time was nearly up. He knew this. His vision was tinted white around the edges, and he struggled to move his robotic parts.

 

All things must come to an end eventually.

 

He craned his neck as the door to his room opened, and the tall girl entered. If he could smile, he probably would have. 

“Iota…” He breathed, reaching out with his human hand, his fingers splaying. Zero Two grimaced distastefully. The doctor laughed weakly. “What...too proud to even give you creator a send off??” He sighed. “You’re just like them, I tell you.” Zero Two said nothing, but walked to the side of the man’s bed, and sat down. “Why are you here?” The man breathed, aware now that the girl required something of him.

“Tell me about Ikuno.” She said in a low voice. “I know, when you die, you leave nothing behind. You’d take everything with you if you could. I want a part of that everything. Tell me what Ikuno is, and how we can look after her.” The doctor coughed and smirked.

“I see. You want Sigma’s files.”

“Her name is Ikuno.” Zero Two growled through her teeth. The doctor waved a hand dismissively.

“Ikuno. Well, you can’t have them. I destroyed them after the revival experiment succeeded.” Zero Two scowled.

“I’m not stupid. You didn’t raise any stupid Children. I know you used Magma to revive her. What happens when those effects wear off? Ikuno will die. Won’t she?” The doctor looked away. “I see. So, how long does she have? It’s already been three weeks. A week, a month?” The doctor shrugged weakly.

“I give her a month at best.” Zero Two felt her stomach sink. One week left. Ichigo...this would destroy her…

“What can we do to extend that?” The doctor coughed and guffawed.

“I didn’t bring her back with the intention of letting her stay. I brought her back to make peace with the ones she loved. And only that. I don’t intend to let her survive any longer than that.”

“Does Nana know?”

“No.”

“Does  _ anyone  _ know?”

“No.” Zero Two stood up, anger etched into her face, tears filling her eyes.

“You horrible...horrible man. You didn’t just give Ikuno new life when you brought her back. You gave Ichigo new life too. The change I’ve seen in her over these past few weeks, has been incredible. She seems so happy and content. And...when Ikuno…” She bit her lip. “It will kill her too. Just know you have that blood on your hands.” She hissed, heading for the door. “It will  help when you go straight to hell.” She slammed the door behind her, causing the old man to wince. He lay, stunned. After a moment, he growled angrily, and struggled to sit up.

“Damn it all…”

* * *

Ikuno is doing so much better now!” Ichigo enthused, waving her spoon around. “Yesterday she laughed and tried to get up!” She lowered her spoon. “Although...She still doesn’t know. Nana said they drug her legs so they’re numb, so she can’t tell...but when Dr Franxx makes something for her it’ll all be okay!” She smiled, a pink tinge to her cheeks. The rest of the squad smiled encouragingly, apart from Mitsuru, who was scowling down into his dinner, and Zero Two, who was watching the girl, a sad, resigned look on her face. 

“Th-that’s great, Ichigo.” She said quietly.

“Isn’t it!” The small girl cried happily. “I’m  _ so  _ happy!! I just...I…”

“Calm down, Miss Happy.” Goro said jokingly, pushing her tray closer to her. “Eat up, then you can go and see her.” Ichigo nodded, spooning the mashed potatoes into her mouth rapidly. The table rippled with laughter at the sight. Zero Two sighed again. This was the first time since the Gran Crevasse mission that they had all seemed connected as one.

She didn’t have it in herself to tell the girl the truth.

It had been five days since she had had her brief argument with Dr Franxx.

 

Ikuno was going to run out of time any day now.

 

And it was going to destroy her leader. 

  
  


Ichigo wiped her mouth with the back of her hand. She leaped up from the table, pushing her chair in. “Can I take this?” She pointed to the grapefruit that lay on the table. Nobody had touched it due to the shared distaste of the bitter fruit. Goro raised his eyebrows and nodded. 

“If you want...Ichi...we have oranges.” The girl shook her head persistently.

“No, no! It has to be this!” The swiped it from the table, and picked up her knife. Goro eyed her uncertainly. Noticing his gaze, the girl laughed and shook her head. “Goro! Come  _ on!  _ I’m past that! I think we both are! And I know we can get through it for days and days and days to come!” Goro shrugged, unconvinced.

“Sure, Ichi.” 

 

 

“Kuno!” Ichigo cried happily, running down the corridor to the room her Darling spent her days in. “Kuuuno!!!! Look at what I brought you!!!” She opened the door and burst into the room happily. “I-” 

 

The grapefruit fell to the floor.

 

The knife clattered after it. 

 

Ikuno was lying on the floor, evidently the aftermath of falling out of the bed. Her hair was a bright white once more. Her skin was almost grey. She was wheezing for air, her body lying limp, her eyes half closed. Her head was bleeding from a gash just above her left eyebrow. Upon Ichigo’s entrance, she stirred slightly, and her lips parted. 

“....I...Ich…”

Stumbling forward, Ichigo finally managed to find her voice.

 

“ **_IKUNO!!!_ ** ”

* * *

“I’m sorry, Ichigo.” Nana said softly, putting her hand on the girl’s shoulder. “I...I’m sorry.” Ichigo said nothing, staring down at the girl on the bed. She had an oxygen mask over her nose and mouth, and her chest was rising and falling slowly. Ichigo felt her eyes swim with tears. 

“She’s going to die...isn’t she?” Ichigo whispered. She felt the tears slowly trace their way down her cheeks. “She’s getting old, isn’t she?” She whispered. “That’s what happens. They get old. And then they die.” She slowly shut her eyes. “She’s going to die…” She took Ikuno’s hand in hers. It was cold, and she didn’t even flinch. “Please don’t die…I’m not ready for you to go...I don’t want you to go…” She trailed off into incomprehensible murmurs. 

“We can’t stop death, Ichigo.” Nana said sadly. “It’s a part of life. We can run from it, we can  postpone it, but we can’t stop it.” 

“But why does it have to be now?” Ichigo whispered, kissing Ikuno’s hand gently. “Why  _ now _ ? We were supposed to start our new life together...we...we were supposed to…” Her back heaved with sobs. Ikuno’s heart rate was projected onto the nearby monitor, slowly beeping. Glancing at it, Nana felt her stomach clench. 

 

The girl  _ was _ dying. 

 

“It-It’s okay, Ichigo.” She stroked the soft blue hair of the girl, breathing deeply. “We’ll do everything we can.” 

“Is she in pain?” Ichigo asked in a low voice, her hand tracing the dressing on Ikuno’s forehead. “Do you think...she’s in pain?” Nana shook her head. 

“I can’t say.” 

“If she’s in pain...I don’t want to see her like this. Please…” Ichigo kissed Ikuno’s hand again. “...End it. If she’s in pain…” Nana glanced down at the girl worriedly. “...I don’t want to see my Darling in any more pain...I promised her...I promised her she wouldn’t be in pain ever again…” Nana clenched her fists. 

“Don’t worry, Ichigo. I’ll do my best to make sure she doesn’t suffer.” Ichigo looked up at her guardian, her green eyes swimming with tears. 

“Thank you, Nana.”   
  


 

Ichigo slowly headed back to their living quarters, her hands in her pockets, her head hung. Tears slowly ran down to the end of her nose and dripped onto the floor. How was she going to tell Goro? How was she going to tell Futoshi??  Her insides felt all jumbled up, and her head was pounding. How was she going to tell them...that Ikuno wasn’t going to come back? Sighing deeply, she opened the door to her quarters. 

She was greeted with the sight of Hiro hitting Goro across the face, his glasses flying off and hitting the wall. 

  
  


“W-what’s going on?!” 

“Damn you, Hiro!!” Goro cried angrily, rubbing his jaw. “We can’t do that!! Are you out of your mind?!” Hiro clenched his fists. 

“No. In fact I  _ know  _ I have to do this. If you don’t want to join me; DON’T!” 

“Hiro!” Ichigo cried, running to him and catching hold of his arm. “Hiro!!!” 

“Get off, Ichigo!” Hiro snapped, shaking her away. 

“Tell her!!” Goro cried, tears in his eyes. “Go on, tell her what you want to do!! Just after we all got ourselves sorted again!!” Ichigo looked up at Hiro, her eyes wide. 

“Hiro??” 

“I..” The boy looked away, his cheeks flushing. 

“He wants to go..into  _ space _ ….and defeat the VIRM!” Ichigo’s stomach dropped. No...Not Hiro...please...not Hiro...she couldn’t lose Ikuno  _ and  _ Hiro at the same time…

“N-no…” 

“Ichigo, please try and understand....Zero Two-” 

“No!” Ichigo yelled angrily, tears re-forming in her eyes. “NO!!” She wrapped her arms around the boy and held him tightly, burying her head in his back. “I won’t let you!!” Hiro sighed. 

“You can’t change my mind, Ichigo.” 

“Then I’ll go with you!!” She cried. 

“Ichigo, no!” Goro’s face paled.

“Yes! I’ll go with you!! I’ll pilot with you!! I’ll do it!!” She sobbed. “It’s not like I have anything left for me here anyway!! If we die, then so be it!!” Hiro paused. Goro paused. The room was still. 

“Ichigo…” 

“If I die, then I’ll embrace it!!” Ichigo continued, tears streaming down her face fast. “There’s nothing left for me here!! Nothing!!!”

“But...Ikuno-”

“IKUNO IS DEAD!!!” Ichigo screamed, her voice cracking. Hiro slowly prised her arms from around his waist, and tucked her hair behind her ear. 

“How?”

“I-It was all temporary!!! Ichigo wailed, her face twisted with sadness. “None of it was real! She was never going to stay with me!! Death takes all of us eventually!!” She sniffed, her face tinged red. “I...I...I give up!!” Hiro shook his head, kissing Ichigo on the forehead. 

“Ichi...If I die up there, then I embrace that. If  _ you _ die up there, then-”

“I’ll-”

“No. No you won’t. You’re needed here.” He sighed deeply. “Do you think Ikuno wants to be alone, when she goes?” Ichigo shook her head. “Exactly. You wouldn’t leave her here alone, would you?” Ichigo threw her arms around Hiro, sniffling. 

“I won’t lose you both at the same time.” She whispered. “Please…” Hiro hugged  her back, his own eyes filling with tears. 

“I have to go.” He said firmly. “Zero Two and I are the only two who can pilot Star Entity. If we defeat the VIRM...we can save everyone. They’ll never come back…We can protect the future-”

“But what about  _ your _ future!?” Ichigo cried in protest. “Hiro...please!!” 

“I’m sorry.” The boy said firmly, standing up straight. Ichigo backed away, her eyes wide with fear. 

 

She was going to lose them both…

 

_ Please… _

 

The two people she loved the most in this world…

 

_ No… _

 

And she would be alone…

 

_ Please, God, no… _

 

And she couldn't save either of them, no matter how much she tried.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> personally i hated the concept of zero two turning into a massive franxx 
> 
> so im not going to be including that 
> 
> but in classic trigger style, we are going to space!!
> 
>  
> 
> EDIT: to those who are keeping up with the story, I will write more when I feel like I'm able to..I recently had a very bad time and I've been discharged from the hospital so things are okay for now. I'm starting to get myself back to normal and feeling like myself so fingers crossed I should be back into this soon. Thank you for being so patient!


	28. Chapter 28

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please read the notes at the end of the last chapter to explain my absence 
> 
> im sorry 
> 
> im trying my best to get back into it 
> 
> this is not very good.

“Are you sure you want to do this?” Goro asked softly. By the side of the bed, the blue haired girl did not move, her face deadpan. “Ichigo?” 

“Whatever it takes.” Goro sighed. Ichigo’s attitude had regressed back to where she had been when Ikuno had first been reported as dead. She barely smiled, she barely laughed. Nothing seemed to interest her. Nothing could console her or cheer her up.The setting sun reflected off her hairclip, glinting angrily in the light. Her white gloved hand was still firmly entwined in the skeletal grey hand of the girl in the bed, stroking it softly with her thumb. Ichigo stared down into the girl’s face, her eyes narrowed. Ikuno did not stare back at her, being too weak to even open her eyes anymore. She just remained still, her mouth slightly open under her oxygen mask, breathing very, very slowly. There were now several second pauses between each breath, as her body slowly failed her. Ichigo felt tears pool in her eyes, biting her bottom lip. 

“Ichigo. We need to go. If you want to go, we need to leave now.” Pressing Ikuno’s hand to her lips, Ichigo kissed it softly, before laying it back down, placing it on top of the brown cat, which rested on her bedsheet. She stood up, before leaning in to kiss Ikuno on the forehead. 

“I’ll be back.” She whispered, sighing deeply. “Wait for me Darling. I promise I’ll come back to you. I promise.” Turning her back on Ikuno, she walked towards Goro, and then to Nana, who was waiting in the doorway. “Nana.” The woman raised her head. “Please, take good care of her.” Nana nodded, her hand on Ichigo’s shoulder. 

“I promise. I’ll make sure she’s here for you when you get back.” Ichigo nodded, before looking over her shoulder sadly at the motionless girl, her white hair matching that of her pillowcase. 

“But if she’s in pain…” Nana nodded again, sighing regretfully. 

“I understand.”

* * *

 

“Ichigo, I’m glad you could join us.” Hiro said gently. The Delphinium nodded, but said nothing. “We’ll be back soon, I promise.” The blue FRANXX turned, gazing wistfully at the Earth, millions of miles away. 

“I guess.” 

“This is so cool!” Zorome cried excitedly, the Argentea performing an effortless backflip. “Zero Gravity rocks!” 

“Stop it.” Mitsuru snapped. The standard model FRANXX glanced around nervously at the purple VIRM aliens that surrounded them. “We need to get Hiro and Zero Two to the mind core, and that is our only priority.” Delphinium gazed up at the large purple core, a long way from them, pulsating with the same purple glow that was emitted from the aliens that had-

Delta, her eyes wide and glassy.

 

Ikuno, motionless and bloodstained.

 

Metal, protruding from her back. 

 

The smell of blood and death. 

 

“NO!!” Ichigo shrieked, the Delphinium slamming its fists to its head. It’s face fizzled, before shutting down and deactivating. 

“ICHIGO!!” Hiro cried in alarm, his stomach dropping from underneath him. “ICHIGO!! GORO!!” The Delphinium paused, before shuddering, and snapping back into life, it’s blue eyes wide, its expression stricken, small x’s falling down it’s face. Panting, it gripped it’s weapon firmly. 

“It’s okay. I have it under control. I...I have it under control.” Ichigo breathed, the FRANXX shaking. “Let’s do this. And let’s survive.”

* * *

_ “Hey!” The girl looked up in surprise.  _

_ “Hmm?”  _

_ “Why do you always carry that stupid thing around?” A boy demanded, pointing at the book. The girl blushed and hid it under the table.  _

_ “N-no reason.” The boy crossed his arms defiantly.  _

_ “Yeah right. Give it to me. I wanna see.” The girl looked at him fearfully. She recognised him from her nursery, Code:103. He was the ‘boss’. Nobody dared argue with him. But Nana had trusted her with this book. And she had to uphold that.  _

_ “N-no.”  _

_ “What?”  _

_ “I said no! It- it's not mine. I'm taking care of it.” The boy smirked.  _

_ “Well, let's take care of it together!” He shoved his hand under the table and grabbed the book from her. She cried out and scrambled over the table to his side, grabbing onto the sleeve of his top, and sending her tray of food flying. He scowled and swung the book back and forward, hitting her across the face with it. By now, many of the other children had gathered around to watch the spectacle, exchanging nervous glances. The girl hit the floor, her glasses skidding off into the crowd. She sniffed and rubbed her face. The boy snorted and skimmed through the book. “This is lame. Why would you make a big deal out of this?” The girl was crying now, and she climbed to her knees.  _

_ “G-give it back.” _

_ “No. I don't think I will.” The boy said, caressing the edge of one of the pages. He suddenly grabbed ahold of it and yanked it downwards, ripping the page away from the spine. The girl screamed and lunged for him, but two other boys materialised from nowhere and held her back. The boy laughed and continued to rip the pages out, the sheets fluttering to the floor limply. The girl kicked against the boys holding her back, but she wasn't strong enough to overpower them.  _

_ “STOP! STOP! IT'S NOT MINE, PLEASE, STOP!”  _

_ “Enough.” The group froze and looked to where the voice had come from. A small boy emerged from the crowd and approached them. He was simple looking, with blue-grey eyes and jet black hair. In his hand he held the girl's glasses. “Give the book back.” He said to the boy. The boy scowled.  _

_ “Who are you?”  _

_ “My name is Hiro.” The boy said calmly, reaching for the book. The other boy dropped it almost instantly and backed off, indicating his friends to do the same. They released the girl, and she fell to her knees sobbing. “Don't stop people doing what they want to do.” Hiro said, addressing all the children. “We're all different, unique, like our codes. We're all going to like different things. The best thing we can do is help support each other. Not this.” The children murmured and dispersed slowly, leaving Hiro and the girl somewhat alone. He knelt down next to her. She sniffed. “Here.” He held out her glasses to her. She took them and put them on, wiping her eyes. She looked up at him, her green eyes swimming with tears, and a dark mark on her cheek, making her freckles stand out even more. _

_ “H-Hiro?” The boy nodded.  _

_ “Don't worry. It won't happen again.” The girl looked sorrowfully at the pages scattered on the floor.  _

_ “The book-”  _

_ “It's okay. You can ask Papa for another one.” Hiro smiled warmly. The girl looked away.  _

_ “It’s not mine.” She whispered. “It belonged to-” _

_ “196!” Cried Goro, running towards them, followed by another child. He had slim, circular glasses, which fit his face better than her square ones fit hers. She recognised him from their glasses assignment appointments, his kind words soothing her anxieties instantly. _

_ “G-Goro! I'm so sorry, I-” _

_ “No no! I saw everything. There was nothing you could have done. Don't worry about it.” The girl sniffed again and wiped her face. “Hey, don't worry. Look. This is Ichigo. She wanted to tell you something.” The girl looked up, and felt her heart skip a beat. A girl with short blue hair was smiling down at her, her green eyes twinkling. Her smile sent shivers down the girl’s spine, and she felt her stomach tingle nervously. She was the most beautiful girl that the girl had ever seen.  _

_ “Hi.” Said Ichigo, holding out her hand. The girl felt her face flush with colour, and she took it slowly. Ichigo pulled her to her feet. “You were so brave.” She said shyly. The girl blushed and looked at her feet. She smiled slightly.  _

_ “I-I guess.” Ichigo placed a hand on her shoulder. The girl felt her heart rate speed up.  _

_ “Yeah you were! I think Hiro should give you a name. Then you can be one of us!” She turned to the boy, her eyes glinting with excitement. Hiro shrugged and laughed.  _

_ “Uh, sure! What's your code again?”  _

_ “196.” The girl mumbled, her eyes not leaving Ichigo’s face. Hiro furrowed his brow in thought.  _

_ “196...196…”  _

_ “Hey, uh…” The girl said nervously, shuffling. Ichigo looked at her in surprise.  _

_ “Hmm?”  _

_ “I uh...I think that...you're very pretty.” The girl said, blushing furiously. She grabbed the hem of her dress in embarrassment. Ichigo blushed slightly too.  _

_ “Oh! Uh…thank you! I like your hair!” She cried, gently running her hand through one of the girl’s dark purple bangs. She smiled and looked away again.  _

_ “I got it!” Hiro cried suddenly. “How about...Ikuro?” The girl tilted her head to one side.  _

_ “I-ikuro?”  _

_ “That doesn’t sound right.” Goro said slowly. Ichigo raised her hand slowly.  _

_ “How about Ikuno?” _

_ “Ikuno…” The girl said slowly.  _

_ “Yeah! Ichi, ku, and then we turn the roku on its side…” She drew a symbol in the air. “-No!” Goro, Hiro and the girl frowned at him together.  _

_ “I have no idea what you just said.” Goro said flatly. “But if it makes sense, sure! I like Ikuno anyway. I think it suits you.” He said, turning to the girl. She smiled.  _

_ “Ikuno.” She repeated it slowly. This was her name. Special. Unique to her. And she loved it. She smiled again, a tear leaking out of her eye and rolling down her face.  _

_ “Time to go back.” An adult said, the various doors to different nurseries opening. The three children turned away from Ikuno and started to head back.  _

_ “Wait!” She cried. They stopped and turned. “W-Will I see you again?” Hiro smiled.  _

_ “Sure. Why not? We'll see you soon Ikuno.” They waved and turned away from her again disappearing through a door. _

* * *

Ichigo clenched her fists, the Delphinium swinging its spear around and destroying three VIRM aliens at once. She thought of Ikuno, alone and scared, her room dark and dusty, her bedside empty. 

The last thing she wanted was for Ikuno was to be left alone in this harsh unforgiving world. 

 

And she was going to fight tooth and nail to make it back to her Darling.

* * *

 

_ “Woooooah!” Miku cried out in awe as she opened one of the two bedroom doors. “Big big big!” Naomi looked in as Miku bounded towards the bunk bed. “Naomi! Pick one! We can be bunkmates!” She cried happily, swinging her suitcase onto the top bunk. Naomi stopped and placed her hand on her chin.  _

_ “Nana said we should distribute fairly. There's five of us, and three beds.” Miku stopped too, deflated as the realisation hit her.  _

_ “Oh…” _

_ “I'll go next door.” Ikuno said quietly. “I don't mind.” Without waiting for an answer, she picked up her suitcase and headed towards the adjacent room. Miku frowned at her retreat, then shrugged.  _

_ “Anyway. There's still one more extra person. Someone will have to go next door with...what’s her name again?”  _

_ “Ikuno.” Ichigo said firmly. “I'll go with her.” Ikuno poked her head out of her room, her eyes wide.  _

_ “You don't have to-” _

_ “I want to. Besides, there's no more beds. I don't really have a choice.” Ikuno blushed and disappeared back into her room.  _

_ “What’s with her?” Miku asked suddenly. Ichigo lowered her voice and leant towards the girl.  _

_ “Her time in the Garden was...different to ours. She had no friends. She spent most of the time by herself. When I first met her some boys were beating her up, for crying out loud!” Miku’s face softened.  _

_ “For real?” Ichigo nodded. Miku placed her hands over her mouth. “Poor girl…” Ichigo hushed her up.  _

_ “Shh! I'll go next door. It’s important we make it known to her that we’re accepting and supportive. Okay?” Miku nodded. She looked over at Naomi and Kokoro, who both nodded. “Good. I'll see you in a moment.” Ichigo picked up her suitcase and headed next door, leaving the three girls in silence. Miku shook her head and climbed the ladder of the bunk bed.  _

_ “Mine!” She called cheerfully, breaking the heavy mood that had fallen on the group. “Good luck picking yours!”  _

  
  


_ Ikuno carefully placed her books on the shelf next to her bunk. She looked down at the fishing book and ran her hand over the cover.  _

_ “Ikuno?” Called Ichigo, entering the room. Ikuno jumped and shoved the fishing book clumsily under her pillow.  _

_ “Ichigo!”  _

_ “You want that bed?” Ichigo asked encouragingly, pointing to the lower bunk Ikuno was seated on. Ikuno nodded, then stopped and stood up hastily.  _

_ “Sorry…” She mumbled. Ichigo frowned.  _

_ “For what?”  _

_ “You can have this one...if-if you want....” Ikuno started to gather her items together hurriedly. Ichigo started forwards and placed her hand on Ikuno’s shoulder. She froze.  _

_ “No! It's okay! You can pick what you like. That's what's great about this life! We have freedom to pick and choose. It's different to the Garden, okay? I promise I'll make it that way.” Ikuno looked away and mumbled something intelligible. Her heart was pounding in her chest, and her skin seemed to tingle where Ichigo was touching her. Ichigo pulled her hand away suddenly. “You're hot! Are you feeling well?” Ikuno looked up at her, her eyes brimming with tears.  _

_ “Thank you.” Ichigo sighed happily and pulled her close.  _

_ “Look. It’s going to be okay. Nobody here is going to hurt you, or make you feel uncomfortable. Okay?” Ikuno held Ichigo close to her and sniffed in confirmation. “I'll protect you.” Ikuno buried her head in Ichigo's shoulder. Ichigo stroked her back slowly and sighed. It wasn't fair, that this girl who had done nothing to hurt anybody, had had such a traumatic experience in the Garden. Ichigo shuddered at the memory of her being alone and scared, her back against the wall. If Hiro hadn't come to help her, she dreaded the thought of how she would be now.  _

_ “Uh...what are you two doing?” Miku’s sharp voice interrupted the two, and they pulled away, blushing. Kokoro nudged her in the abdomen, and Miku gasped and backpedalled. “OH! I'm sorry! Uh! I-” _

_ “Take your time.” Naomi said softly. “Nana wants us back downstairs for some more orienteering.” Ichigo nodded and the three girls headed back down the stairs. Ichigo headed to the door and paused.  _

_ “Are you coming?” Ikuno nodded and wiped her eyes. Ichigo smiled, and held the door open for her allowing her to pass her first. _

* * *

 

Ichigo watched as the Strelitzia began to glide away from the group. Her head felt fuzzy, and her hearing was muffled. She could hear people shouting, Goro crying, but nothing was processing in her mind. Her heart pounded against her ribs. The Delphinium reached out at the FRANXX’s retreating back. The Strelitzia turned, and smiled sadly, before continuing to glide away, it’s face dropping.

Hiro was leaving her.

 

_ No... _

 

Hiro was leaving her. 

 

_ No...Please... _

 

This couldn't be happening. 

 

_ Don't leave me... _

 

He had promised...

* * *

 

 

_ Ikuno sniffed and grasped her head in her hands tightly. She let out a roar of frustration, and slammed her head forward onto her knees. Why was she like this? Why couldn’t she just be like everyone else? She slammed her head onto her knees again, causing her glasses to fly off and hit the wall. She sobbed, heavy, soul shaking sobs, which caused her entire body to tremble. The sound of the door opening made her freeze up. She heard footsteps creaking on the wooden floor, and she felt a hand on her hand.  _

_ “Ikuno?”  _

_ “LEAVE ME ALONE!!” She shrieked, descending into sobs again. The hand moved to her hair and stroked it gently.  _

_ “Come on.”  _

_ “N-NO!” She yelled. “I-I...I don’t belong here!” She cried desperately. “I don’t!!! I’m not like you!!! Please!! Let me go away!!” She froze as Ichigo threw herself onto her, hugging her body tightly.  _

_ “Stop it!!” Ichigo cried. “Just stop!! The last thing I want is for you to go away!!” _

_ “B-but-!” _

_ “No!” Ichigo held her tighter, tears rolling down her own face. “I’m not going to let you leave like this!! You are one of us! You’re as much a member of this team as I am, or as Hiro is!” Ikuno stopped, listening to the sobbing rambling exhibited by the girl. Was she? Did she matter to the team as much as Hiro? The child prodigy? Ichigo sniffed and wiped her face, putting her forehead up against Ikuno’s. The heat radiated off of her skin, burning into Ikuno’s.  “Promise me,” She said slowly. “Promise me you’ll never leave. I hate seeing you like this.” Ikuno reached up and held Ichigo’s head in her hands, running her hands through her soft blue hair.  _

_ “I promise. For you.” Ichigo sighed happily and drew back, her cheeks glistening with tears. _

* * *

Bursting from the FRANXX cockpit, Ichigo raced down the stairs and slammed onto the floor of the ship. She raced out across the newly fertilised land, her latex suit sticking to her with sweat and tears. Hiro was gone. Hiro...Hiro was gone. He had taken Zero Two and left them. She was never going to see him again. 

 

And now she was going to lose Ikuno. 

 

Her mind was racing; she felt faint. If she was too late…

 

_ Please...God...don’t let me be too late…. _

 

She thought of the girl, too weak to move, too weak to smile. Too weak to let Ichigo know how much she was suffering. Had she given up? Had Nana given up on her? Did she even know Ichigo had gone? Did she think Ichigo had left her alone, like Hiro had done to her? Did she feel as hopeless as Ichigo did now? 

She slammed open the door to the infirmary, her breathing heavy and laboured. Nana stood up sharply upon her entry, her eyes bloodshot and red. 

“Ichigo…” 

“Where is she, Nana?!” 

“Ichigo…You’re back.” 

“Nana?!” 

“I-I’m so glad you’re back.” 

“WHERE IS SHE?!” Ichigo screamed, her tears streaming down her face and into her mouth. Running past the woman, she threw open the door that led to Ikuno’s room, her heart sinking in her chest, nausea rising in her throat.   
  


There was a figure on the bed, lying still. Ichigo felt her head spin, her legs turn to jelly. 

 

The last thing she remembered before she blacked out, was the white sheet, draped over the girl’s thin body, obscuring her head, body and face, from head to toe.


End file.
